EXACTLY what to say to police after being pulled f

[scottmurray]

While I was driving down the M4 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.


The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."


To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."


Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.

[girlgye]

:D Very naughty boy.
I hope you are gonna shove that fine where the sun don't shine too.

[wellwoman]

Brilliant! :D

[anxu]

You should approach CERN and tell them you can give them black holes to use in their research! :p

They don't need Billions of dollars to make a micro black hole, because you can make one that is 6 feet tall.

They can stick that 6 foot black hole into the machine and fire particles at it and see if the blackhole releases any exotic matter from the collisions :p

Maybe next time you can tell the copper that you are a Physicist. And that maybe the time dilation effects of the black holes that are around you everyday have imparted effects on you that have warped the space time continuum and there for from the radar frame of reference you appear to be traveling faster than you actually were traveling, hence the true reading is probably 50% slower than the reading he got on his radar detector. If he doesn't believe you that black holes effect radar readings then tell him to point it at himself and take a reading!

[cstewart1987]

Excellent brother,, just what i needed, ,now to go get a cuppa tea and make a big fat skunk 1.. Thanks.. :P