Hello Im new to the forum

[jim fear]

Hi,

This is my first post on the forum and I just wanted to tell people how I got into this kind of stuff and what lead me here.

All my life I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the world (like the speech at the start of the matrix before neo has to choose which pill to take) I wanted to fight whatever it was/is. I figured that it was just because I hated school, and I tended to get depressed.

I’ve found I had no motivation in life, everything seems pointless and fake. Again I assumed this was depression and ignored it and I spent most of my time trying to get hold of some dope to smoke. I had an overwhelming edge to smoke it, and for some reason I thought that it would be my inspiration and maybe it would offer some sort of guidance.

I was started smoking as much as I possibly could up to the age of 19, when I totally lost my mind, I would have these “deep” conversations with a friend of mine who was every much in the same boat and suddenly everything seemed to make sense I started thinking differently, everything around me just linked up and made sense I became aware of all the negativity in the world, and started to realise that maybe this is what I was supposed to be fighting. ButBecause of dope I started to have panic attacks, and in-between these panic attacks there where moments of “clarity” it felt like some kind of awakening.

I knew that I had to quit everything, which was diminishing my health before I would be ale to progress with this experience. The panic attacks where usually triggered by the realizations which I was having at the time, I could really feel the positive and negativity and I felt very attuned to the world around me so I began trying explain this to my friends who would listen and try and comprehend what I was trying to explain some would listen and try and get there head around it all others were less understanding.

It was around this time when 9/11 happened and with me been ultra sensitive about the positive and negative that when I saw it on the news it totally blew my mind. I freaked out, as it seemed to confirm my worst fears about the world, there WAS all this negativity out there after all And I didn’t no what I should be doing to stop it.

Bit by bit people began to mock me for my beliefs and the things I was saying, and they often said that it was all the drugs getting to me and slowly I felt less inspired and I eventually “fell back to sleep”.

Lately I have started looking into things again but I keep it to myself these days. I try and look after myself health wise because I get sick easily and I do suffer from depression, but I am starting to make a conscious effort to exercise regularly and avoid junk food and alcohol. But nothing has ever felt so right than when I felt “awake” I was inspired and I wanted the world to change. Society is so wrong and prone to prejudgement is so shallow. So I’m studying everything unusual and I'm going to question everything with my eyes wide open and I’m going to keep it to myself (unless asked about it). I feel this is my path and I believe that the truth is the only foundation for knowledge and I want to no if this is all real or it’s some kind of emotional escapism or some way linked to ill health or my mental state.

Thanks for reading!

Jim

[soglad]

Man.....amazing post.......why do people keep stealing my life story and posting it up here?!

It's ridiculous.

Been there done that mate.....it's all a part of the process to make you a superhuman, and that you will become. Bad times....I've had plenty of them....but I see positivity in them, they help us realize. The light is easier to see in the darkness my friend! :D

WELCOME TO THE FORUMS!!

You've a friend here already...











That's me! :D:D

[tiswas]

so am I, I was fed up of all this celeb-based forum crap that I used to go on.
I like to discuss things that have depth.

[chris]

Nice story Jim, it sounds very close to mine.

Even though you want to keep the knowledge to yourself, you still can spread the truth about 9/11 and such through the internet. That way you won't have any negative repercussions.

It's really important to get the truth out, not for other people but for yourself, you need to be free and to be free people need to understand the way the world is set up.

How long have you understood about the nwo and 9/11?

[auron]

Welcome to the forum Jim! :)

Like Soglad said, your story is pretty much the same as mine! :D

I hope you enjoy it here mate.

All the best.

Auron :)

[herebynightfall]

I might as well have wrote a lot of that myself also.

[don azzaro]

Welcome to the forum *wave* :)

[freedomnonfighter]

Hehe, seems we've all landed here from the same boat! :p

Glad to have ya here, Jim :)

[lemonique]

Hi Jim Fear.........suggestion! maybe you could be Jim Brave instead?
Anyway welcome to the forum :D

Cheers
Lemonique

[limelady]

Welcome Jim!!

See....all you young ones who have managed to awaken (despite
some hard/difficult times), are leading the charge to a better way
of 'being' for all..

You already have many friends here Jim.

Enjoy the DI forum and your new friends :D

Limelady

[_underscore_]

'Ello 'Ello.

_underscore_ has arrived here through a slightly different path. _underscore_ has led a very blessed life in a rural town in America. _underscore_s parents were not rich by US standards, and _underscore_ grew up an active kid running around in the evergreen forests of Washington state. _underscore_ attended trade school and secured a very decent job, and was introduced to one of Mr. Ickes books by a long time friend (_underscore_ has been fortunate to know most of his friends his entire life, having met many of them in the first grade). The book was Alice in Wonderland & The World Trade Center Disaster. It was a slap in the face, but the pieces fit, as _underscore_ had never prescribed to the corporate bullshit, bling-bling go buy some shiney shit culture. At any rate, this website kicks ass, nice to meet ya.

[lifeofbrian]

Hi,

This is my first post on the forum and I just wanted to tell people how I got into this kind of stuff and what lead me here.

All my life I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the world (like the speech at the start of the matrix before neo has to choose which pill to take) I wanted to fight whatever it was/is. I figured that it was just because I hated school, and I tended to get depressed.

I’ve found I had no motivation in life, everything seems pointless and fake. Again I assumed this was depression and ignored it and I spent most of my time trying to get hold of some dope to smoke. I had an overwhelming edge to smoke it, and for some reason I thought that it would be my inspiration and maybe it would offer some sort of guidance.

I was started smoking as much as I possibly could up to the age of 19, when I totally lost my mind, I would have these “deep” conversations with a friend of mine who was every much in the same boat and suddenly everything seemed to make sense I started thinking differently, everything around me just linked up and made sense I became aware of all the negativity in the world, and started to realise that maybe this is what I was supposed to be fighting. ButBecause of dope I started to have panic attacks, and in-between these panic attacks there where moments of “clarity” it felt like some kind of awakening.

I knew that I had to quit everything, which was diminishing my health before I would be ale to progress with this experience. The panic attacks where usually triggered by the realizations which I was having at the time, I could really feel the positive and negativity and I felt very attuned to the world around me so I began trying explain this to my friends who would listen and try and comprehend what I was trying to explain some would listen and try and get there head around it all others were less understanding.

It was around this time when 9/11 happened and with me been ultra sensitive about the positive and negative that when I saw it on the news it totally blew my mind. I freaked out, as it seemed to confirm my worst fears about the world, there WAS all this negativity out there after all And I didn’t no what I should be doing to stop it.

Bit by bit people began to mock me for my beliefs and the things I was saying, and they often said that it was all the drugs getting to me and slowly I felt less inspired and I eventually “fell back to sleep”.

Lately I have started looking into things again but I keep it to myself these days. I try and look after myself health wise because I get sick easily and I do suffer from depression, but I am starting to make a conscious effort to exercise regularly and avoid junk food and alcohol. But nothing has ever felt so right than when I felt “awake” I was inspired and I wanted the world to change. Society is so wrong and prone to prejudgement is so shallow. So I’m studying everything unusual and I'm going to question everything with my eyes wide open and I’m going to keep it to myself (unless asked about it). I feel this is my path and I believe that the truth is the only foundation for knowledge and I want to no if this is all real or it’s some kind of emotional escapism or some way linked to ill health or my mental state.

Thanks for reading!

Jim

Hello Jim.

If you occasionally wonder if you're insane, you're probably not. Truly insane people believe they are sane and everybody else is nuts.

Cheers for opening up and sharing. Sounds like some rough seas there for you.

I'm probably one of the older guys around here, arrived on Earth in 1960 and was clued in by my Dad straight away, so never really had much of an awakening to rotten stuff in society. I'm from Scotland but live in Scandinavia now.

Hope to see you around a lot & looking forward to your input on everything being chatted about around here.

[harris999]

Dam, That sounds alot like mine Story, except minus the "dope"

Anyway, welcome to the forums :D

[i_am]

Welcome jim

It is truly amazing how so many young people are waking up to the illusion that most call reality. Thank you for telling us your story and as so many here have said, they can identify with what you have written.

We are all still learning new stuff everyday so it matters not how long you have been on this path, there is always something new.

[fantana]

Hi,

This is my first post on the forum and I just wanted to tell people how I got into this kind of stuff and what lead me here.

All my life I’ve always felt that there was something wrong with the world (like the speech at the start of the matrix before neo has to choose which pill to take) I wanted to fight whatever it was/is. I figured that it was just because I hated school, and I tended to get depressed.

I’ve found I had no motivation in life, everything seems pointless and fake. Again I assumed this was depression and ignored it and I spent most of my time trying to get hold of some dope to smoke. I had an overwhelming edge to smoke it, and for some reason I thought that it would be my inspiration and maybe it would offer some sort of guidance.

I was started smoking as much as I possibly could up to the age of 19, when I totally lost my mind, I would have these “deep” conversations with a friend of mine who was every much in the same boat and suddenly everything seemed to make sense I started thinking differently, everything around me just linked up and made sense I became aware of all the negativity in the world, and started to realise that maybe this is what I was supposed to be fighting. ButBecause of dope I started to have panic attacks, and in-between these panic attacks there where moments of “clarity” it felt like some kind of awakening.

I knew that I had to quit everything, which was diminishing my health before I would be ale to progress with this experience. The panic attacks where usually triggered by the realizations which I was having at the time, I could really feel the positive and negativity and I felt very attuned to the world around me so I began trying explain this to my friends who would listen and try and comprehend what I was trying to explain some would listen and try and get there head around it all others were less understanding.

It was around this time when 9/11 happened and with me been ultra sensitive about the positive and negative that when I saw it on the news it totally blew my mind. I freaked out, as it seemed to confirm my worst fears about the world, there WAS all this negativity out there after all And I didn’t no what I should be doing to stop it.

Bit by bit people began to mock me for my beliefs and the things I was saying, and they often said that it was all the drugs getting to me and slowly I felt less inspired and I eventually “fell back to sleep”.

Lately I have started looking into things again but I keep it to myself these days. I try and look after myself health wise because I get sick easily and I do suffer from depression, but I am starting to make a conscious effort to exercise regularly and avoid junk food and alcohol. But nothing has ever felt so right than when I felt “awake” I was inspired and I wanted the world to change. Society is so wrong and prone to prejudgement is so shallow. So I’m studying everything unusual and I'm going to question everything with my eyes wide open and I’m going to keep it to myself (unless asked about it). I feel this is my path and I believe that the truth is the only foundation for knowledge and I want to no if this is all real or it’s some kind of emotional escapism or some way linked to ill health or my mental state.

Thanks for reading!

Jim


Don't worry, it'll pass and then you will realize it's all a bunch of bollocks. Big old hairy, bouncy testicles.

IN A NON GAY WAY.

[kblood]

Welcome to the forums :)

As you begin reading through this forum, you will probably find alot of conformation about the things you believe in. Everything that is going on "behind the scenes" is something we try to find out about and discuss here on this forum.

Hopefully you will find ways to avoid depression. It is quite normal for only a few to believe in all these conspiracies, so I hope it does not get you down too much. Keeping it to yourself in your everyday life seems to make it all easier. In my case, I have stopped trying to convince my family and friends about it. If they want to know about it, they will find out by themselves.

Another thing is that there are alot of positive things going on as well, that many are not aware of. You should try looking into the infinite love threads, and the awakening global awareness that seems to be going on. There are already many solutions to it all, waiting to be put to use.

[rossus]

congratulations on getting rid of wrong beliefs.

be careful what you believe to be true now jim.
many people awaken from one dream into another one,
while thinking they have awoken to "reality".

try not to focus too much on the conspiracy shit,
because there is a lack of physical evidence and an abundance of theories and suggestions...
it's hard to know what exactly is true of it all.

and even if the worst of the worst theories are true,
what value does being obsessed with them bring to your life?

try to find in yourself what the exact cause is of making you unhappy
and what you can do about it.
it's not that the conspiracy is not a good thing to be aware of,
but don't get stuck in it.

go towards happiness... towards life.
don't drown in the spiral of conspiracy which is in a cosmic sense not that big of a deal anyway.

[dondaz]

Hi ya Jim, looks to me like you are following your intuition. Good choice. Welcome to the forum;)

[jim fear]

Hello everyone thanks for been so welcoming its nice to find a group who have all become aware of the world around them, its nice to be amongst friends

When I saw 9/11 I knew there was something big happening, something bad right under our noses. At the time I was worried about the government bring back national service or something because of it, to increase the size of our armed forces for “ our safety” the media seems to spend a lot of time telling people why we should be afraid.

I don’t trust Doctors or people who are considered “experts” a lot of them are very unattached and robotic and at times it can feel like you just a number on a list. In the society we live in you are only important if you have a degree or you are wealthy for example in a lot of UFO reports I have read they refer to witness who are higher ranking officials, business men etc.. As been credible than you or I just because of a title they hold. There is a blatant absents of common sense in society.


A friend once said to me “ Your attitude is really shit” she was right. So now whenever I start to think about something negative I think of 10 things or more, to counter the one negative thought. I try to realise that any suffering I experience is making me stronger and improving my endurance and is an important lesion. Its not always easy but I just have to accept the fact that depression is just my burden for now and eventually I’ll find away to get rid of it or at least find ways to fight it.

Underscore, you are very lucky that you have had long-term friends you obviously choose them wisely and good on you for not prescribing to the Bullshit cultures!

I hope that dope wasn’t a major factor in the awakening process, but the worthwhile in death conversations with friends were. One of the main things I enjoyed about drugs was the social side of it and when people listen to one another. I have found that books can open your mind just as much if not more than been stoned will, and there is so much knowledge available via the web and libraries.

Conspiracies freak me out a bit but I don’t believe everything I see and read, and I try to focus of the positive things which we can achieve now that we have open communication to like mined individuals. At the moment I’m interested in the environment and recycling, becoming more self-sufficient (growing things to eat etc) and anything to improve my health and awareness (spiritual or otherwise).

We are all walking on the same path but we all have different journeys to take I don’t know if we are here to change the world or just to let on to each other that we may have a greater understanding of the world and are open to the possibilities or maybe we have just landed on a great level of understanding.

again thats for the big welcome, I'll look forward to hearing people opinions

take care

[auron]

Mate, stop copying my life! :D:D:D

[soglad]

Mate, stop copying my life! :D:D:D

You stop copying mine! :D

[auron]

http://www.thctalk.com/cannabis-forum/images/smilies/thefinger.gif

[mountain]

Welcome! I have just joined, too! I can relate to your experiences and fortunately you have awakened. Follow your heart and PEACE & LOVE!:)

[auron]

Hey it's nice to see you here too mate!

I hope you enjoy yourself here! :)

[pollock]

Hello Jim.

If you occasionally wonder if you're insane, you're probably not. Truly insane people believe they are sane and everybody else is nuts.



Aaargh, that must mean I am truly insane then!!!!

Welcome to the forum jim and mountain, you will enjoy it Im sure

Love
F

[dodie]

Hi jim i am new to the forum as well mate,i think we have all experienced similar things in our awakening mate,i remember my family thought i was going mad:eek: fortunately i have a very close family they stood by me through it all.:) i dont know if this will help mate, but the thing that got me through all of that was davids infinite love book, if you have not read it, i highly recommend it. to me mate the bit that may help you is learning to disconnect from your thoughts and emotions,your electronic software as he calls it, it may sound hard mate, but if i can do it anyone can:). That is where the fear and depression manifest from, once you learn to ignore them.you will realise they are not you, and you will find your true self:) Once that happens mate,they will manifest less and less,and you will awaken more and get stronger and stronger,and you really will move on to an even higher level of understanding:).It worked for me and still is,my life is the best its ever been:).Hope it helps you mate, and welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing your life with us mate:). love dodie x

[lifeofbrian]

Aaargh, that must mean I am truly insane then!!!!

That makes both of us insane then, if you understood it. :) It's when no-one seems to understand we tend to feel we're surrounded by idiots. Pretty sane reaction. The problem is within the communication, not the information.