mikesingh
23-11-2009, 10:59 AM
Killing A Snake upon encountering one in the Area of Operations.
Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
Paratroopers: Lands on and kills the snake.
Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Army Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i...e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all Armed Forces directives and Theater Command Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes.
Combat Engineers: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter-mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
Marcos (Marine Commando) : Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites Marcos and retreats to safety. Bollywood makes film in which Marcos kill Muslim extremist snakes.
Indian Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means for force projection.
Recon & Surveillance Squadron (Mechanized): Follows snake, loses trail and gets lost in the process. Immediate Air recon requested to locate squadron and succeeds. Paradrops burgers and pizzas for the crews but misses target. Consignment lands on snake and smothers it.
Sukhoi pilot: Finds snake, drops two cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to bad weather. Recommends to be armed with all weather precision guided multi warhead nukes in future.
MI-17 pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass near bonfire, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire. (Jeeez!)
AGNI IRBM crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake, pumps in liquid propellant in 20 seconds flat, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. Meanwhile snake slithers away.
Cheers! :)
Infantry: Snake smells them, leaves area.
Paratroopers: Lands on and kills the snake.
Armor: Runs over snake, laughs, and looks for more snakes.
Army Aviation: Has Global Positioning Satellite coordinates to snake. Can't find snake. Returns to base for refuel, crew rest and manicure.
Field Artillery: Kills snake with massive Time On Target barrage with three Forward Artillery Brigades in support. Kills several hundred civilians as unavoidable collateral damage. Mission is considered a success and all participants (i...e., cooks, mechanics and clerks) are awarded Silver Stars.
Special Forces: Makes contact with snake, ignores all Armed Forces directives and Theater Command Rules of Engagement by building rapport with snake and winning its heart and mind. Trains it to kill other snakes.
Combat Engineers: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter-mobility assets. Complains that maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake ops.
Marcos (Marine Commando) : Expends all ammunition and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites Marcos and retreats to safety. Bollywood makes film in which Marcos kill Muslim extremist snakes.
Indian Navy: Fires off 50 cruise missiles from various types of ships, kills snake and makes presentation to Appropriations Committee on how Naval forces are the most cost-effective means for force projection.
Recon & Surveillance Squadron (Mechanized): Follows snake, loses trail and gets lost in the process. Immediate Air recon requested to locate squadron and succeeds. Paradrops burgers and pizzas for the crews but misses target. Consignment lands on snake and smothers it.
Sukhoi pilot: Finds snake, drops two cluster bombs, and misses snake target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 KM East of snake due to bad weather. Recommends to be armed with all weather precision guided multi warhead nukes in future.
MI-17 pilot: Finds snake on fourth pass near bonfire, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire. (Jeeez!)
AGNI IRBM crew: Lays in target coordinates to snake, pumps in liquid propellant in 20 seconds flat, but can't receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons. Meanwhile snake slithers away.
Cheers! :)