The Vulnerable

[strangeinlostworld]

I just found out yesterday night that my friend I've known for 16 years, who in ways truly felt like a sister to me....took her own life, probably at some time on saturday or on sunday this weekend past.

I knew she was considering doing this as she told me she was thinking of carrying it out next spring.

I never got round to meeting her as she lived accross seas. I wanted to go and meet her as soon as I could afford it. But at the end of the day I don't know if I could have helped her.

She had a degree in psychology, but only about a year ago did she realize that the source of her anxiety/ depression/ self esteem problems....had their roots in the psychological abuse all her life from her own mother, the one person in the world she should have been able to trust and depend on.


She suffered from M.E, probably triggered by damage to her body caused by previous suicide attempts.

This condition was making her very ill and the physical symptoms, tiredness, restrictions, etc, were making it incredibly difficult to overcome the depression that went with it.

She felt very lonely and isolated due to the fact she was such a shy person and found it difficult to do things.

What she needed, what I wished for her, was a support network of family and friends.

Instead all she got were social workers and psychiatric nurses who spoke to her in a patronizing way, and during the time she had spent in a mental health hospital had been "really sadistic". I mentioned this to someone I know who works in this area, and he agreed and said he had worked in places that were a bit "dodgey".

:(

Surely the first and most critical criteria for anyone working in this field should be an empathetic/ understanding/ non judgmental nature? :(

Only real love, compassion and praise can help people who are suffering in this way to get better.

[strangeinlostworld]

She was/ is an incredible sensitive soul.

That's part of the reason she suffered as she did.

[mila]

This is so tragic....

Makes me sad and angry as well; so many are going through similar situations in this world....:mad:

I'm so sorry for your loss SILW.

[strangeinlostworld]

Thank you Mila.

[lookfar]

Aw honey, that's really sad & I'm sorry to hear that:( There are many people who are suffering similar things & don't get the correct care & attention that they so need, it really isn't good & it appears that the authorities don't care about them (or are possibly too understaffed?) to bother.

I'm sending some healing loving thoughts to you & her family.

[lottie]

Im really sorry to hear this strangeinlostworld... God bless her.. I dont advocate suicide but at least now she'll be free of the depression she was blighted with in this world!

Much Love to you and her..
x

[strangeinlostworld]

Thank you Lottie and Lookfar. xx

I understood her because I too suffer from depression every now and then. I am not going to attempt to judge what she decided to do as it wouldn't be possible for me to put myself in her shoes. I may have come a bit further in my dealing with my depression than she was able to, but she didn't have anyone at all nearby close to her who she could turn to like family. I am blessed in that I do have family I can turn to, even if we don't get along a lot of the time.

<3

[song_of_susannah]

SILW, this must be a very difficult time for you and you must be feeling very tender.

The physical passing of a cherished one, is one of the most painful things we have to bear and nothing is going to alleviate the sorrow you are feeling. There was nothing you could have done to change the situation because as you say, your friend wanted to do this at some point.

She had made up her mind, and had decided that her mental anguish was too great. When a person is locked inside a world of mental pain, it is difficult for them to see any positives, and for her this was a solution.

Carrying the deep psychological wound of a childhood without the nurture and succour we should all receive as our birthright, is a terrible weight, too heavy for some to bear.

If there is one positive thought you can hold onto, then remind yourself that your friend is still very much alive as a permanent consciousness and is now out of her troubles.

It's very sad that some souls do not have the support of a loving network around them, a safety net for when times get tricky, and unfortunately often, it's the very same people who should make up that net, that contribute heavily to the distress.

Seek to take care of yourself SILW, you will feel awful, but know that within you is hidden strength, you've been round countless times and your old soul is very durable, believe me! :)

[strangeinlostworld]

Aww, thanks so much for your lovely words, song_of_susannah. I believe that you are right.

<3

[zero1]

Sorry for your loss.

I've recently considered it myself, but decided against it.

Most sensitive, good souls subject to the conditions of this wretched world consider taking their own lives, at some point. The pain is too much, for some.

I do not judge the girl; as far as I am concerned, her life was her own, it belonged to her and was hers to do with as she wished.

The only matter of regret is that the rest of humanity, living, has lost a good woman, a person of worth, through trajedy.

I will say a prayer to the Great Goddess for her; I would suggest you pray for her soul too, to whatever higher power (if any) you believe in. :)

[song_of_susannah]

Aww, thanks so much for your lovely words, song_of_susannah. I believe that you are right.

<3



:)

[song_of_susannah]

Sorry for your loss.

I've recently considered it myself, but decided against it.

Most sensitive, good souls subject to the conditions of this wretched world consider taking their own lives, at some point. The pain is too much, for some.

I do not judge the girl; as far as I am concerned, her life was her own, it belonged to her and was hers to do with as she wished.

The only matter of regret is that the rest of humanity, living, has lost a good woman, a person of worth, through trajedy.

I will say a prayer to the Great Goddess for her; I would suggest you pray for her soul too, to whatever higher power (if any) you believe in. :)



You are very right, some of us find certain aspects of being very difficult.

Stop the world I want to get off, is the simplest way of putting it. Sometimes it's too much of a ride.

No one can live someone else's pain no matter how empathetic and understanding.

I wouldn't be so impertinent as to tell you what's right for you, but you've decided to stick around, I'm glad :)

What I will tell you is what I said to SILW, seek to take care of yourself, as much as you can manage.

[zero1]

You are very right, some of us find certain aspects of being very difficult. Stop the world I want to get off, is the simplest way of putting it. Sometimes it's too much of a ride. No one can live someone else's pain no matter how empathetic and understanding.

True enough.

I wouldn't be so impertinent as to tell you what's right for you, but you've decided to stick around, I'm glad :) What I will tell you is what I said to SILW, seek to take care of yourself, as much as you can manage.

Thank you, I will try.

[pinkfreud]

Most sensitive, good souls subject to the conditions of this wretched world consider taking their own lives, at some point. The pain is too much, for some.

I do not judge the girl; as far as I am concerned, her life was her own, it belonged to her and was hers to do with as she wished.

The only matter of regret is that the rest of humanity, living, has lost a good woman, a person of worth, through trajedy.

so true... it's sad to know that the ugliness around good people bogs them down and leads them to end their lives.. these are the very people who could make a huge difference to society, but they are mostly never given any avenues to do so :(

i'm truly sorry about your loss SILW... i know you are a very good soul yourself, this must be depressing you. we're all here if you need to talk.. i know what it can be like, losing someone who was very special to you.

seek to take care of yourself, as much as you can manage.

+1.

hold your chin up girl.

[haukipesukone]

My condolenses. I don't know what to say.
Reading your post just made me think of PJ Harvey's song Beautiful Leah...

Hang in there.

[song_of_susannah]

Thank you, I will try.


:)

You are not alone in your pain, many of us can relate only too well.

I would like to echo Pinkfreud's words to SILW, we're/I'm here if you need to talk.

[strangeinlostworld]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxauhK-sn2s