Last advise about my relationship

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

Earlier today, my g/f and I had sex. Not that's it's something big, but that's not the point.

the point is, is that acouple of days ago, she quit her job, but could be fined by her job for walking out during shift, although her boss told her she was fired.

Now, we are going though the union labor laws (Arbeidsovereenkomsts, CAO) for over here in holland, trying to figure out if they can really fine her.

So, she knows I have an old "bed buddy", and she doesn't like the fact that her name is still on my msn. Although we quit that shit almost 3 years ago, my g/f still gets sick to the fact that the person I use to fuck, is still on my msn.

Anyways, this old friend knows laws about labor here in holland, so I asked her.

My g/f saw it and is now so pissed she won't even sleep in the same bed with me...


I don't know what to do..

[kadamose]

Sexual relationships are bad. Oh, and your hand will never betray you; therefore, dump your girlfriend and enjoy the pleasures of pleasing yourself. In the end, the only person who can make you happy is you.

Relationships are for people who don't believe in themselves and need a security blanket of some kind; if people did not have the irresistible urge to spread their genes everywhere, people would not bother with relationships to begin with. Using this analogy, it is safe to say that the majority of people who are in relationships are currently set in 'automatic' mode; in other words, their consciousness is asleep and their genes are controlling their actions.

[chris]

Tell her to grow the fuck up, you were trying to help her.

[notaslave]

Sexual relationships are bad. Oh, and your hand will never betray you; therefore, dump your girlfriend and enjoy the pleasures of pleasing yourself. In the end, the only person who can make you happy is you.

Relationships are for people who don't believe in themselves and need a security blanket of some kind; if people did not have the irresistible urge to spread their genes everywhere, people would not bother with relationships to begin with. Using this analogy, it is safe to say that the majority of people who are in relationships are currently set in 'automatic' mode; in other words, their consciousness is asleep and their genes are controlling their actions.

I think thats a bit harsh, we have parts which seem to fit each other for a reason, might as well use them.

on topic - tell your gf you hate this other woman, pick some false faults, hmm yes I seem to be saying LIE lol. Tell her how much you love her and grovel, she is feeling insecure, make her feel secure

[kadamose]

I think thats a bit harsh, we have parts which seem to fit each other for a reason, might as well use them.


Just because we are born with reproductive facilities does NOT mean we have the right to use them. To add to that, I think that the only people who do have the right to reproduce, are those who are genetically worthy to do so. If you haven't noticed, I am a firm believer in Eugenics - if the ugly and stupid people were not allowed to reproduce, then the world would be filled with nothing but beautiful and highly intelligent people - the way it was always meant to be. If you take a good look at how nature operates, you will see that anything that is deemed unworthy, genetically speaking, does not survive and is usually discarded at birth. Humans are the only creatures on this planet that nurture the weak and the genetically inferior - humans are also the only creatures on this planet that are not in complete harmony with the rest of the cosmos. So the big question is: how do we, as a species, begin our journey back into universal harmony? The first necessary step, of course, would be to eliminate the genetically inferior aspects of our species...

But this has gone completely offtopic, and I apologize.

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

I want to agree with Chris, but I'm gonna have to go with notaslave on this too...


But you have no clue, how hard this is.

I mean, she has been to points of wanting to cut herself(not kill, but just cut.. history or it)..

I can't stand when people do that...

The demons in me just come out when such childish ways are shown.

[bigus_dickus]

that's fear (insecurity) on her part.. every case is different, but i suppose being kind, loving and understanding towards her will gradually make it go away. if she chooses not to sleep with you, smile and respect it, it won't last forever. don't react to it, because it's really not her fault. HTH :)

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

I don't know. Because of his comment she made about "Yeah, well how far will it go" bullshit, I got pissed and started to yell. 3 seconds into yelling, I walked out to the kitchen, lit up a smoke.. had three puffs, and proceded to slam my fists into the walls, and when I get that angry, I tend to litghtly "roar" you could say. Luckily, the walls a pure concret, so not much damage to them. And my knuckels are thick enough to stand the pain...

But i just kinda feel, maybe I'm not what she wants.. you know...

I don't know..

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

Come to think of it.

Perhaps it's I who is not ready for a full on relationship aswell?

Maybe I'm jumping into things.

I love her... But I should never get like THIS. With this, almost literal demon popping it's head out from time to time...

[bigus_dickus]

HL, i have been through this shit more times than i can remember. i have done everything, including breaking up and including what you are describing. suffice to say, nothing worked and i only found out afterwards looking back at what happened. the only thing that seems working to this day is what i wrote above.

[bigus_dickus]

another thing i found out was that the "demons" always strike twice. each time you invoke "them", it's like making a contract so they will come back the same way. each time i have reacted foolishly, i have had the same behavior happen to me later.. whatever you choose to do, it will be done to you. it's universal or something, kinda ironic but a good teacher.

[freedomnonfighter]

Manogomy is tough these days. Well, it's always been tough.

Envy is the worst enemy of manogomy, and that's exactly
what her 'problem' sounds like to me.

She sounds like she's holding on to the past and trying to
control the future at the same time?

As always, I'd recommend living in The Infinite Now :)

another thing i found out was that the "demons" always strike twice. each time you invoke "them", it's like making a contract so they will come back the same way. each time i have reacted foolishly, i have had the same behavior happen to me later.. whatever you choose to do, it will be done to you. it's universal or something, kinda ironic but a good teacher.
Very, very true.


As far as the cutting thing goes, I've had a couple friends
who used to cut themselves.

I never understood it to be honest. Of course I knew it was
just their way of dealing with whatever pain they had in
their lives, by creating their own pain I guess.

I met a girl back in high school. While we got to know each
other better, she let me in on the whole cutting thing.
She would show me her scars on her legs and arms. It was
absolutely horrible to even see, let alone think that this
beautiful Creation could be destroying itself.

I didn't know how to deal with that, as I was beginning to
have strong feelings for her, and this really threw me back.
I realized she didn't have anything positive in her life, and
that was the reason she was always in pain and was always
re-creating and re-cycling that pain by cutting. It was her
temporary release. So, naturally, I wanted her to stop cutting
herself. I wanted nothing else in the world but that one thing.

I became her positive influence in her life. And was always
there to lift her up and make her feel like her again.

She soon quit cutting herself.