seamus
10-10-2009, 01:57 AM
Hey all it's me again.
I broke up a few months ago with my soulmate, that i had attracted into my life using the law of attraction. You might think "well, that's not much of a soul mate then" but I say that without the 22 months I spent with her, I would be a much poorer person. And the weirdness of the breakup (at her insistance) just tells me it's another roundy-round of the same issues we have had in at least two previous lives together. I love her and always will. And the last words she said to me, through her tears, were "I love you". Women know how to make things complicated and unworkable. :P
That sets the stage for what I am saying next. I finally had a major breakthrough in banishing the depression that has dogged me since the breakup, this monday past. On wednesday morning, I had a very uneasy, "sad" feeling in my chest. It was like a cross between a physical sensation and an emotion. This persisted for wednesday and thursday. I didn't feed it, I didn't pay attention to it except when it gnawed a little, and then I would quickly distract myself from it with thoughts of happy things (and I kept taking my 5-HTP). But the feeling was like an alien entity, because regardless of my inner dialogue, the FEELING was the same! And it didn't lessen with a dose of cannabis, as my depression usually does. (cannabis derails my inner dialogue)
So last night one of my mates from work came over to my house. 30 seconds after he arrived he had to make a dash to the bathroom to vomit. He apologized, as he didn't know what had happened to him. I was just boggled by the whole thing. He said he hadn't even had anything to eat, but his vomit was nasty bile and chunks from early morning (this was in the evening). What was even stranger was that he immediately felt just fine, just as he had when he walked into my house. Then I noticed that I felt fine, too. The "sad" feeling in my chest was gone, and I made the connection.
I figure that whatever was attacking me saw him (he's a young and inexperienced soul) and figured he would be an easier target (he was starving on me, haha!). Well the bugger must have sucked too hard on my friend, because he immediately did one of the 3 things i heard can quickly dislodge an energy vampire: laugh, cry, or vomit.
This is the first time I have ever experienced anything like this, while having the awareness and knowledge to keep the "sucker" at bay, and recognize what happened when it left. I guess I'm in on the war, now. I don't take kindly to being attacked.
S
I broke up a few months ago with my soulmate, that i had attracted into my life using the law of attraction. You might think "well, that's not much of a soul mate then" but I say that without the 22 months I spent with her, I would be a much poorer person. And the weirdness of the breakup (at her insistance) just tells me it's another roundy-round of the same issues we have had in at least two previous lives together. I love her and always will. And the last words she said to me, through her tears, were "I love you". Women know how to make things complicated and unworkable. :P
That sets the stage for what I am saying next. I finally had a major breakthrough in banishing the depression that has dogged me since the breakup, this monday past. On wednesday morning, I had a very uneasy, "sad" feeling in my chest. It was like a cross between a physical sensation and an emotion. This persisted for wednesday and thursday. I didn't feed it, I didn't pay attention to it except when it gnawed a little, and then I would quickly distract myself from it with thoughts of happy things (and I kept taking my 5-HTP). But the feeling was like an alien entity, because regardless of my inner dialogue, the FEELING was the same! And it didn't lessen with a dose of cannabis, as my depression usually does. (cannabis derails my inner dialogue)
So last night one of my mates from work came over to my house. 30 seconds after he arrived he had to make a dash to the bathroom to vomit. He apologized, as he didn't know what had happened to him. I was just boggled by the whole thing. He said he hadn't even had anything to eat, but his vomit was nasty bile and chunks from early morning (this was in the evening). What was even stranger was that he immediately felt just fine, just as he had when he walked into my house. Then I noticed that I felt fine, too. The "sad" feeling in my chest was gone, and I made the connection.
I figure that whatever was attacking me saw him (he's a young and inexperienced soul) and figured he would be an easier target (he was starving on me, haha!). Well the bugger must have sucked too hard on my friend, because he immediately did one of the 3 things i heard can quickly dislodge an energy vampire: laugh, cry, or vomit.
This is the first time I have ever experienced anything like this, while having the awareness and knowledge to keep the "sucker" at bay, and recognize what happened when it left. I guess I'm in on the war, now. I don't take kindly to being attacked.
S