So what should I do?

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

3 days ago, my girlfriends mum called and said that her brother in law was going to be showing up at Amsterdam Airport, and that he had a suitcase of her stuff for her to take back home. Now, friday, my girlfriend decides to make plans for us to go to the movies today.

So now comes today.

I didn't get to bed last night until about 3am. So, I didn't wake up until my girlfriend was grabbing my phone because her mum was calling. She completely forgot that she had to go to Amsterdam to pick up the luggage. But she had about an hour and a half to get there. Now, it was 11:15am, she had been up since about 10 I could guess. She asked if I was coming with her. I was just getting out of bed, still naked(yes I sleep naked, fack uff), and abit confussed about what's going on. But sice i'm still tired, and the apartment is a mess anyways, I'll just stay home and clean up.

What happens? Obviously this sounds like a normal plan. Sounds alright. Down right normal.

Not for her. She gets an additude, and I pick up on it right away. So i see give me ten minutes. She wouldn't, she told me just stay home, it's what I wanted to do. Yes, it WAS, but now seeing your additude, maybe it's just better to keep some peace. It's my day-off too, dammit.

But before I can even get fully dressed, she walks out the door. Now, she's got money, I have to wait until monday to be payed, and even then, its got to go towards rent, and it's 25 fucking euros for a train ticket from Rotterdam to Amsterdam and back, so I should be thanked for saving her some money.
Instead, I get hung up on, told that "plans are changing", that she ha errands to run now. So I over to help her with her errands when she gets back. Now I'm told she has no errands. I was getting pissed and on the verge of yelling, and I told her, I don't want this feeling right now. Just because we couldn't do our original plans, doesn't mean we still can't have a good day together. She doesn't want to. i should just go do my own thing. So I ask her if it's because she's pissed at me, she says no. Bullshit I say. And I start yelling, I tell her I'm trying my god damnest to keep some fucking peace and to have a good day for us together, it would be nice if you would work with me in some fucking way. I'm sorry I yelled, I called and apologized and i told her in a normal fashion that I'm just trying to make it a good day still. She told me it can't because it's already ruined... Pessimist.

I know I'm in the wrong for yelling, but fuck me. I've got some huge plans for the future, and I'd really like for her to be in my future. And of course I'm willing to compromise with her plans as well. But hell, if you can't work with me on just this little bullshit...

What should I do?

I really don't know what to do about this. I don't want to break up, but if this shit keeps happening, and she can't even work with me on one god damn simple thing, I don't know..

[cruise4]

Take your own advice and have a good day anyway... also buy her some post-it notes.

[mentalogirl]

Ha,I thought this was going to be some dodgy-stuff-in-suitcase-framing-nwo-scenario when I started reading..:D

Well,is this a one-off situation or a pattern in the relationship?
Maybe she was pissed off and needs time to let off steam and you should respect that.And sounds like you're pissed off AND feeling slightly guilty so how can anyone have a great day trying to pretend everything's Ok?
My advice is to be in communication and not jump into 'maybe we should break up' so quickly.
Relationships are in constant evolution!;)

[kblood]

Maybe go freeload of some friends? You can always invite them back over some other day as thanks ;) I guess you might not be short on food though.

I always use a credit card, so I have never really tried having no cash at all. I havent had an apartment that I owned together with a girlfriend either. I try to avoid that, since I can be a bit much sometimes, and know that when I have a girlfriend, me or her will be going to need some "space" and privacy sooner or later.

I hope you make up in a good way, when she gets back :) Send her a few sweet thoughts maybe, to warm her a bit on her possibly stressfull trip. Maybe she will send some sweet thought right back at ya :)

[dark86]

i was with a similar girl. when theres a tiny tiny trigger she would get a big mood on, and nothing that you say can stop it. it ruins your day.

other times the girl is ace and this is all forgotten ...until the next needless mood / atitude.

there is only one solution my friend - walk away. there are 2.5BILLION women on this planet and i can tell you alot of them do not have this "needless mood" thing going on. it cant be cured. walk away.

some girls do not love you "for who you are", they love "what you should be towards them" and when you do not fit into their "what you should be towards them" they get moody. these girls are a nightmare. sorry but walk. or at least sit her down and tell her this is a serious problem and you are not happy (this will lead to point 2 "other times.." though).

dark86: relationship guru at your request :D

[amerigirl]

mentalogirl- I totally thought the same thing at first!!!



h1s_l0rdsh1p- Sometimes I kick myself for being such a moody biatch sometimes, but I hope you have a GREAT day!!!!

[whitenight639]

if shes got stuff to do let her get on with it and go to the pub, she'll be back she needs you to lead her, not follow her (sorry girls but its true its how its been for thousands of years) so dont follow her half way round the world just to help out, let her do her thing unless she really needs you with her for some reason. but make sure you got somthing you've got planned soon that she can come along to.

[whitelightrabbit]

chill out.
you said what you have to say. it was her problem in the first place. you got all wrapped up in it. you should have let her go off in her little snit and she'd probably have returned and things would have been fine. you fed the beast.

[whitelightrabbit]

if shes got stuff to do let her get on with it and go to the pub, she'll be back she needs you to lead her, not follow her (sorry girls but its true its how its been for thousands of years) so dont follow her half way round the world just to help out, let her do her thing unless she really needs you with her for some reason. but make sure you got somthing you've got planned soon that she can come along to.

needs you to lead her!

ROTFL you sorry boy.

[whitenight639]

needs you to lead her!

ROTFL you sorry boy.

:rolleyes:

[edenfield]

i wish i was a bad moody bitch!!
im so laid back that i would have just tucked you in and brought you back a nice pressie!(provided that you wernt still in the pit when i got back!!)

hope you both make it right anyway:)

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

Well, everything is cool now. I'm fixing her laptop for her. When she got back, her and I went into the city, and she apologized. Then we had some lunch, and went and saw Planet Terror. She payed. I offered, but she payed.

Anyways...


Sometimes, I wonder if I should break up because maybe it's for the best. I mean, the plans I have for the future. Being in a relationship with someone could put them in danger, you know. And I don't want them getting in trouble, you know.

Then again...

I don't know. I love her... She doesn't deserve to be hurt...

But being with me, you just might get hurt, you know.

[whitenight639]

Well, everything is cool now. I'm fixing her laptop for her. When she got back, her and I went into the city, and she apologized. Then we had some lunch, and went and saw Planet Terror. She payed. I offered, but she payed.

Anyways...


Sometimes, I wonder if I should break up because maybe it's for the best. I mean, the plans I have for the future. Being in a relationship with someone could put them in danger, you know. And I don't want them getting in trouble, you know.

Then again...

I don't know. I love her... She doesn't deserve to be hurt...

But being with me, you just might get hurt, you know.


what do you mean by plans for the future?? i mean what plans could get her hurt?

[roxanna222]

glad you guys ok now, she prob just got in a mood i get them sometimes stems from insecurity in my case also to test the other in a sense. doesnt make sense i know but im guilty of that now and then. as for your plans as long as she knows them and still wants to be with you and love you let her (protect her as much as you can but then that goes without saying) and share your lives together, we are all in a sense in danger already, im a good example of this unfortunately, so just enjoy the peace and love you both share and let things be, hope this helps in some small way

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

glad you guys ok now, she prob just got in a mood i get them sometimes stems from insecurity in my case also to test the other in a sense. doesnt make sense i know but im guilty of that now and then. as for your plans as long as she knows them and still wants to be with you and love you let her (protect her as much as you can but then that goes without saying) and share your lives together, we are all in a sense in danger already, im a good example of this unfortunately, so just enjoy the peace and love you both share and let things be, hope this helps in some small way

Well, to be honest, I've shared the "idea" of it. And she looked at me like a mom would look at their child talking about how they;re going to be an astronaut. you know.

[h1s_l0rdsh1p]

Update: 2312 hours. Dutch time...


Yesterday, my folks left for Florida, for a vacation... They asked me to watch the pets for them while they are gone. Now, they are going to be gone for a week, and they live a 20 minute train ride outside of the city. Fair enough, easiest thing to do, is to stay their while they're gone because the animals need to eat in the morning.

Now, I went to pick her up from work this afternoon, she said she wanted to see the Simpsons movie. I told her ok, but when we are done, we'll have to head home quick so I can pick up my stuff and go. Then she realized that I was going to be staying their for the week. Mood Swing, this time;
A mask of indifference hiding the fact that she's pissed she can't have her way.

So, i pick up my stuff, so pissed off with her additude, I decide I'm coming back tonight...

Now, about 10 minutes ago, I tell her that:

Monologue:

I: Look, we need to talk. I understand you have plans for life, and I do too. But I don't want us to o our seperate ways, I know we can do it together. We just need to be more understanding of eachothers personal responsibilties, and comprise with them.

-about 3 minutes of silence

Her: Just say what you really want to say.

I: I did say what I want to say.

Her: Don't lie, I know that's not all you wanted to say.

I: that is what I wanted to say! If we don't work together, this relationship isn't going to work!

Her: I'm letting you go because it's better for you...

I: You mean you're breaking up with me?

about another 5 minutes of silence..

I: Are you saying you're breaking up with me?

Her: Yes...

I: Fine.. You know I'll take you back.

Her: Of course you will. (In a sarcastic tone)


For some reason, I have a feelings she's going to be apologizing tommorow.. If not... I don't know.. :(