self harming

[xxxx]

wondering what peoples thoughts on self harming and self harmers are? feel free to repost this mods, i wasn't sure where to stick it. my sister was watching something on telly earlier and they were talking about it. i happened to walk past the room and it made me wonder why they do it. is it all about them being crazy or are they somehow 'pushed' into it? i don't know, interested to see what people have to say about it.

[budgeebird]

wondering what peoples thoughts on self harming and self harmers are? feel free to repost this mods, i wasn't sure where to stick it. my sister was watching something on telly earlier and they were talking about it. i happened to walk past the room and it made me wonder why they do it. is it all about them being crazy or are they somehow 'pushed' into it? i don't know, interested to see what people have to say about it.

Relieves emotional pain....i still run hot water on un-intentional cuts and scratches.

It's been a while since i've last done that, but it still comes to mind at times. Though i never used razor blades myself, as i find diabetic lancets to be much better...always sterile and if you don't scratch too hard, they won't leave heavy noticeable scars. Always disinfect with hydrogen peroxide, since it cleans the wounds at the same time, while alcohol only kills bacteria.

Some people that aren't genuine though, will try to get attention thru this, thinking it's fashionable or shocking, i don't know, even while those with real problems normally try to wear clothes that hide the scars...

-budgee

[netta]

The only thing I can tell you about is suicide, which is mainly done to end a pain that is perceived to be neverending. The person feels hopeless as if things will never get better, or they feel that even if things do get better, they don't want to have to wait that long, maybe because they have been waiting for what feels like forever. So they try to end it, hoping that they will end up somewhere better.

As for self harmers, I guess they do it to have some type of control. They might feel as if something is harming them and causing them pain (a situation, or a person etc), so they want to be able to have control over their own pain. It's also a cry for help. Maybe they want people to notice. Maybe they are screaming out to God to notice. "HELP ME!!" they scream through their actions.

This is what I think.
Hope that helps.

[aura]

I wouldn't say anybody who is self harming is crazy.

Each person as different outlets for how they cope with their emotional feelings, some may become aggressive and violent, argumentative, or start crying ect. -
People who aren't able to express how they feel from those examples, sometimes self harm as another release.

[logic bomb]

As someone who used to self harm as a child I can tell you why I used to do it.

It had nothing to do with attention seeking, as budgeebird said it was all about the relief of emotional pain. For me it was the only way I knew of where I could distract myself from being consumed by a living hell of emotional pain. Physical pain comes as a welcome distraction and takes you away for a short while. I guess it is a method of control in a way.

[jimmi]

There's another thread on the forum dealing with this issue, I posted on there at length so I'm not going over old ground. I work with people and a high percentage are self harmers, there are many reasons why and everyone is different.
I've just come off a night shift and the first four hours were spent watching someone try to strangle himself, I don't intervene until they might actually kill themselves which is very rare because it's not that easy to tie something around your neck tight enough to kill yourself, if someone wants to cut themselves then I let them, I think they ought to clean up their blood after they've finished tho', I'm alright with cleaning and dressing wounds but some are just attention seeking and mollycoddling just promotes the self harm then.
There is definitely an increase, noticeably over the last seven or so years in my opinion. I see it as a symptom of how sick our society has become.

[tracker]

wondering what peoples thoughts on self harming and self harmers are? feel free to repost this mods, i wasn't sure where to stick it. my sister was watching something on telly earlier and they were talking about it. i happened to walk past the room and it made me wonder why they do it. is it all about them being crazy or are they somehow 'pushed' into it? i don't know, interested to see what people have to say about it.


I say ( as you did say -- you are interested in what people think about it ) is that ;

1 ) why make a thread on a question like that ? couldnt you have just gone to a self help forum to find out or atleast google it ?

:cool:

[bealert]

wondering what peoples thoughts on self harming and self harmers are? feel free to repost this mods, i wasn't sure where to stick it. my sister was watching something on telly earlier and they were talking about it. i happened to walk past the room and it made me wonder why they do it. is it all about them being crazy or are they somehow 'pushed' into it? i don't know, interested to see what people have to say about it.
Some do it for Attention some do it for as a cry for help (form of attention) some do it cause they enjoy it. Some do it because there suicidal or suffer with mental illness
It depends on each individual

[fairyelfdog]

To spill blood--emotional outlet---cleanse---purify.

But then again, each individual has their own unique motivations or mix thereof and it would not be wise to generalise. I think sometimes what we call selfharming might even be a good thing, as long as it does not become a habit or obsession. I wouldn't judge how people handle their emotions. The thought occurs to me that it might be a good way to start crying if you cannot. I've thought about it but I've never actually tried it. I'm too icky about physical pain. ;)

[budgeebird]

There's another thread on the forum dealing with this issue, I posted on there at length so I'm not going over old ground. I work with people and a high percentage are self harmers, there are many reasons why and everyone is different.
I've just come off a night shift and the first four hours were spent watching someone try to strangle himself, I don't intervene until they might actually kill themselves which is very rare because it's not that easy to tie something around your neck tight enough to kill yourself, if someone wants to cut themselves then I let them, I think they ought to clean up their blood after they've finished tho', I'm alright with cleaning and dressing wounds but some are just attention seeking and mollycoddling just promotes the self harm then.
There is definitely an increase, noticeably over the last seven or so years in my opinion. I see it as a symptom of how sick our society has become.

Working in a loony bin?

Did that for four months myself when money was tight...mostly elderly though, with histories of violence. It was a privately owned place...they fired me in the end for knowing too much :rolleyes:

One guy there would go for a walk in the yard and then slip out to buy himself cafeinated drinks at a convenience store. He would drink 8 to 10 20 oz. cans of Monster and Rockstar and then shit himself. He refused to wear Depends, so we would always have to wash all his stuff. Three buckets with soaking shitted pants outside by the back door any day of the week. It's a 300lb guy though. He would stay up all night drinking this stuff to counteract his medication and then stagger around and fall during the day. On a good day he would stay in the yard and talk to himself, but when it was full moon or he was due for a medication increase he would shout and throw stuff. Each time they refused to do anything about the drink issue :eek:

Oh, and one night he sleepwalked into a bathroom and hit his head on the toilet. There was blood all over but he was okay and they didn't care.

Then a few months ago i ran into the girl that was still working there for a while and she said that he was finally put away in a state run facility after he threw a big vase at one of the guys working there. Funny enough, they let the girl go as well, a few days after she saw it happen :rolleyes:

-budgee

[size_of_light]

Self-harm takes many different forms. Not all of them are physical.

[yozhik]

wondering what peoples thoughts on self harming and self harmers are? feel free to repost this mods, i wasn't sure where to stick it. my sister was watching something on telly earlier and they were talking about it. i happened to walk past the room and it made me wonder why they do it. is it all about them being crazy or are they somehow 'pushed' into it? i don't know, interested to see what people have to say about it.

Neither.

It's about control ... or at least the desperate attempts at clinging onto the concept of having control over something ... anything ... as everything around you spirals out of control.

[xxxx]

to be honest i was hoping for some more 'mystical' answers, thats why i posted here and not on selfharmers.org or whatever it is.
however thanks everyone for posting.

[particlezen]

Some do it for Attention some do it for as a cry for help (form of attention) some do it cause they enjoy it.
It depends on each individual

programmed response

[bealert]

programmed response
ok MR i know everything in the world why do people do it then. instead of criticism try educating us with you awesome knowledge.:rolleyes:

[danster82]

As someone who used to self harm as a child I can tell you why I used to do it.

It had nothing to do with attention seeking, as budgeebird said it was all about the relief of emotional pain. For me it was the only way I knew of where I could distract myself from being consumed by a living hell of emotional pain. Physical pain comes as a welcome distraction and takes you away for a short while. I guess it is a method of control in a way.

So the physical pain redirects your attention away from the emotional? Also is this somthing that only effects women?

[lakkimakki]

well i think people hurt themself so they would be able to move from emotional pain to fysical pain :D...


lots of people tattoo themself because thy like being cut....so its more like some kind of taboo...

emotionally unbalanced people hurt themself.

Whats with people that like box ,kickbox ?:D they hurt themselves just for funn... :D


-----people are imprisoned by they own thoughts---

[budgeebird]

well i think people hurt themself so they would be able to move from emotional pain to fysical pain :D...


lots of people tattoo themself because thy like being cut....so its more like some kind of taboo...

emotionally unbalanced people hurt themself.

Whats with people that like box ,kickbox ?:D they hurt themselves just for funn... :D

true...i was going to point that out myself....the people that do it for pain as much as for art....

It worries me though, as i intend to have one done sometime in the future and there would be some ink right over where i used to cut/scratch myself... i hope this won't take me down that path again :(

But i'll know it when i'll know it, even if it'll be too late. I wonder what the shading needle would feel like...

-budgee

[eternal_spirit]

to be honest i was hoping for some more 'mystical' answers, thats why i posted here and not on selfharmers.org or whatever it is.
however thanks everyone for posting.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?p=453794&highlight=mobile#post453794


http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showpost.php?p=454021&postcount=57

[lakkimakki]

true...i was going to point that out myself....the people that do it for pain as much as for art....

It worries me though, as i intend to have one done sometime in the future and there would be some ink right over where i used to cut/scratch myself... i hope this won't take me down that path again :(

But i'll know it when i'll know it, even if it'll be too late. I wonder what the shading needle would feel like...

-budgee

lolz , relax man ...:)

[yozhik]

Some do it for Attention some do it for as a cry for help (form of attention) some do it cause they enjoy it. Some do it because there suicidal or suffer with mental illness
It depends on each individual

It's not about attention; most cutting is done in private and is followed by immense bouts of self loathing and guilt.

It's not a cry for help; for the same reasons given above - it's private. It isn't done as a precursor for attention seeking or to gain sympathy.
For the cutter ... it is a remedy, not a symptom.
That might sound a bit warped, but its true.
The confusion, the "noise", the feeling of everything being out of control - those feelings are the "symptoms" to the cutter ... the cutting is the remedy ... it slows it all down by providing a focal point. It's not about the pain as a form of escapism; its about being able to CONTROL the pain that provides the anchor to a world that is spinning out of control. By being the one who at that time, is the one who makes the decision to cut/harm and is the one doing the cutting/harming and the one controlling the pain ... it means the cutter/harmer, in that moment, is anchored .. stable ... in control ... focused ... all of the unknowns, the pain, the hurt, the confusion, the chaos, the noise, the despair, the frustration, the roller coaster of emotions ... at that moment in time - they don't exist ... the uncertain world has gone silent and in that instant when you are in total control over your actions, your thoughts, your emotions, your body ... you feel in control. The visual cue of blood is a bonus - it is freeing, liberating and symbolic of the chaos and the pain/frustration/emotions/uncertainty ... all of those feelings having been brought under control by the decision to cut/harm are now released in that warm, crimson flow.

Attention? No.
Cry for help? No ... you feel there is noone but yourself to turn to for help.
Enjoyment? No ... the momentary feeling of being in control isn't exactly enjoyment ... and the oppressive afterglow of self loathing and guilt very quickly removes any enjoyment there might have been.

Suicidal? Not normally ... cutting is about desperately trying to find a way to keep in control and regain a life to live "normally". Suicide is, by far, the easier option than putting yourself through a rollercoaster of emotions on an increasingly accelerating spiral of harm and self loathing, harm and self loathing ...

Mental Illness? More than likely ... an inability to process emotions within the "normal" parameters ... but the key thing to comprehend is harmers or self cutters are desperately trying to "come back" to the world ...

Of course, others may have different views on the subject.
These are just mine.

[motleyhoo]

Self-harm takes many different forms. Not all of them are physical.

Absolutely. People who overeat and stuff themselves with junk food and cannot stop themselves from doing it are also self-harmers in a way.

.

[logic bomb]

So the physical pain redirects your attention away from the emotional? Also is this somthing that only effects women?

Yes and No :)

[budgeebird]

lolz , relax man ...:)

good advice...if only i could tell that to everyone around me :rolleyes:

For me personally self harm was more or less a way to release the emotions i have to keep to my self each and every time...it's like tears, except that i don't cry. Makes me feel calm and comfortable. I can't say that it's pleasurable, but it's like eating something that's too salty or sour...sometimes you just need it and it feels good at that moment.

It was never about control or a cry for help, though for some people it's the former. I'm more balanced, but i do bottle up emotions. When i don't have enough time to myself or with work or with nature, i have to let them come out somehow otherwise they start to eat thru me on the inside....and emotional pain/problem(s) are worse....

And anyone wondering if it's a men or women problem, it's both. I have a friend who is a programmer like myself, that used to have "grilling accidents"...the guy would burn himself instead of cutting. He doesn't do that anymore, but i hope that answers the question.

-budgee :)

[nightingale]

The reasons are different for everyone. Sometimes there may not be any identifiable reason.. it can be a compulsion, too. It's like any other self-destructive habit.

The few times I've cut myself it was very sudden. Usually something triggered it-- or I would be angry about something. But usually it was just like something snapped, and then I'm in almost a trance when I'm doing it-- very calm and serene. Then I'd snap out of it and feel better. Well not better, but like my mind was a blank slate.
It was not a cry for attention; I hid it.

But each time left me with several, fairly deep scars so I do regret it and don't recommend it.

[yjoyin]

Of course, your umbilical was cut when you were born......not a good start?

Get me out of this Matrix, eh?