PDA

View Full Version : A humour thread


Pages : 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 [24]

evillive
26-11-2011, 07:52 AM
http://possu1.kuvapossu.fi/c213ba81ba9e17f9ddb2338aa73bae6f/original/aku-rage.gif

evillive
26-11-2011, 08:18 AM
http://petrinygard.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/lunta208_076.jpg

nofuture
28-11-2011, 01:50 PM
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmjemf6t551qcbmxzo1_250.gif

martg
03-12-2011, 06:42 PM
A lovely meditation on things heavenly - or not.

The following is supposedly an actual question (and answer) given on a University Of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.



Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls inHell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".

jmmk
03-12-2011, 07:39 PM
Michael Jackson- kicked out of Heaven?
GOD caught him blowing all the profits(prophets).

nofuture
06-12-2011, 12:29 PM
http://www.kotzendes-einhorn.de/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/goldenshowerpuppet.gif

screamingeagle
06-12-2011, 01:45 PM
A lovely meditation on things heavenly - or not.

The following is supposedly an actual question (and answer) given on a University Of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.



Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls inHell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".
:D:D:D

Hoe interesting that girls name is Teresa :D

truegroup
06-12-2011, 08:51 PM
Australian idol - Best Guitar solo,, EVER!! Vinh Bui - YouTube
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTfKTKGyJIs

Just needs to be watched;)

martg
06-12-2011, 09:21 PM
:D:D:D

Hoe interesting that girls name is Teresa :D

lmao :D

screamingeagle
07-12-2011, 02:32 PM
http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/chuck-norris-demotivational-poster-1232670871.jpg

nofuture
16-12-2011, 08:04 PM
http://www.fpp.co.uk/online/11/10/images/Hitler_on-Bus_960.jpg

coco
16-12-2011, 08:04 PM
:eek:

screamingeagle
17-12-2011, 09:21 AM
:D

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/155355_f520.jpg

screamingeagle
17-12-2011, 09:25 AM
http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/christianity-my-god-has-a-hammer-your-god-was-nailed-to-a-cross-400x500.jpg

http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/50287570-3213-4edc-9a3f-ca414ed0adc6.jpg

:D:cool:

screamingeagle
17-12-2011, 09:58 AM
http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/humoroushilariousfunnypicturesofanimals_Cat_Attack s_Dog.jpg

jack herrar
18-12-2011, 06:04 PM
I know I probably shouldn't laugh at these, but...
It does make me wonder, are they unintentional or subliminals.

http://acidcow.com/pics/20110802/thats_racist_01.jpg

http://acidcow.com/pics/20110802/thats_racist_05.jpg

http://acidcow.com/pics/20110802/thats_racist_24.jpg


more here...
http://acidcow.com/pics/22552-thats-racist-30-pics.html

nofuture
19-12-2011, 05:08 PM
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/385892_10150543408595609_744025608_11257415_193066 4278_n.jpg

bush doctor
19-12-2011, 08:37 PM
http://img859.imageshack.us/img859/9725/viewerpisskid.png (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/859/viewerpisskid.png/)

screamingeagle
23-12-2011, 08:25 PM
i just love his work,love it :D:D:D
Ten Commandments - by George Carlin - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-RGN21TSGk

screamingeagle
26-12-2011, 05:46 PM
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/1273750_460s.jpg

screamingeagle
05-01-2012, 01:42 PM
http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/71226.jpg

hugo_rune
05-01-2012, 08:27 PM
http://cdn.pimpmyspace.org/media/pms/c/ex/rl/86/yououtside.jpg

hugo_rune
05-01-2012, 08:31 PM
Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As Masturbation Toy For America's Youth :eek::cool:

When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0899/jar.html

hugo_rune
05-01-2012, 08:32 PM
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llaqkbdzFS1qdsvybo1_500.jpg

saty
05-01-2012, 08:52 PM
http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii315/lightsout4you/299896_215493675185496_152655834802614_482729_8272 23232_n.jpg

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii315/lightsout4you/1313833206533.jpg

fishonwheels
10-01-2012, 04:20 AM
LittleBigPlanet: Next Stop, Big City - YouTube

astrochicken
13-01-2012, 10:16 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJUoqAMiSmo&feature=g-vrec&context=G28779bbRVAAAAAAAACA


Fuck.. that was trippy and then it was fucking scary.


Here's f*%ckin Hingmy

Burnistoun's Got Talent - Burnistoun - Episode 2 - YouTube

hugo_rune
13-01-2012, 02:49 PM
http://images.elephantjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/Picture-33.png

screamingeagle
13-01-2012, 09:36 PM
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_gWQaU40PH24/TKkfDOICkvI/AAAAAAAAJb4/F80vP7IiSI8/s400/eternal-facepalm-eternal-facepalm-facepalm-captain-pickard-demotivational-poster-1242264259.jpg

abrilliantone
17-01-2012, 10:28 PM
What does Congress and a condom have in common?
Both make sure nothing happens while you're being fucked. :D

mlynn
21-01-2012, 01:37 PM
we are infinite consciousness :)

http://inlinethumb35.webshots.com/49698/2213549400103313757S500x500Q85.jpg (http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/photo/2213549400103313757amMrOZ)

hugo_rune
21-01-2012, 02:02 PM
http://pigroll.com/img/batman_thank_god_youve_arrived.jpg

nofuture
23-01-2012, 02:19 PM
http://thumbs.newschoolers.com/index.php?src=http://i.imgur.com/7LJ5R.jpg&size=400x1000

nofuture
23-01-2012, 05:16 PM
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxabppwb971ql8m0po1_500.jpg

kgb_agent
23-01-2012, 08:48 PM
http://img687.imageshack.us/img687/6435/larknews.jpg

nofuture
24-01-2012, 03:02 PM
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxabobs65h1ql8m0po1_500.jpg

merlincove
24-01-2012, 04:39 PM
7060

7061

7063

7062

7064

merlincove
24-01-2012, 04:40 PM
7065

7066

7067

7068

7069

merlincove
24-01-2012, 04:42 PM
7070

7071

7073

7072

7074

merlincove
24-01-2012, 04:44 PM
7075

7076

7077

7078

maxine
24-01-2012, 05:35 PM
7079

maxine
24-01-2012, 05:54 PM
7081



7082



7083



7084



7085

nofuture
27-01-2012, 02:15 PM
This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
George Carlin - My Message To The Killers - YouTube

:D

screamingeagle
27-01-2012, 05:38 PM
carlin was a brilliant man :cool:


:D:D:D
Hitler says NEIN for 10 minutes - YouTube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MLry6Cn_D4&feature=related

nofuture
28-01-2012, 11:26 PM
http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/407537_10151196468965707_779710706_22523557_619610 796_n.jpg

mikey mikey
31-01-2012, 04:11 AM
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-O7NfJ8ZwIjM/TlRA0TkcVuI/AAAAAAAAEiU/T6SiHcbIYRM/s1600/J.+Jonah+Jameson+makes+fun+of+Peter+Parker.jpg

psketti
31-01-2012, 10:58 AM
This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1mIxRS1ZNs

:D

Quality. Haven't heard that in years, cheers :D

nofuture
08-02-2012, 04:41 PM
http://21.imagebam.com/download/xBmV27bchHnv6WMv619BFQ/5348/53477424/relax.jpg

onourway
09-02-2012, 09:49 AM
7065

7066

7067

7068

7069

hahaha merl..... I have 2 pugs and they can be the most worried looking puppies ever!

nofuture
11-02-2012, 09:16 PM
http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/409155_10150651216073465_129446698464_11267644_117 9036490_n.jpg

chockimon
17-02-2012, 09:26 PM
It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

Mascot Fail HD funny ................. - YouTube

BARNY VS BIG BIRD!
Best Mascot Battle EVER! - YouTube

jack herrar
17-02-2012, 11:07 PM
Keith Lemon's I Say Bitaty, You Say The Other Game - YouTube

verne troyer Celebrity Juice - YouTube

Is Verne Troyer Bigger than...a traffic cone - YouTube

Gino talking about following girls on twitter on Celebrity Juice - YouTube

Celebrity Juice Lick My Baubles - Christmas Special - YouTube

nofuture
19-02-2012, 10:49 PM
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/300474_10150262576331706_78700126705_7990626_80377 53_n.jpg

theqleaner
21-02-2012, 05:20 PM
http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s320x320/300474_10150262576331706_78700126705_7990626_80377 53_n.jpg

lol..

hugo_rune
21-02-2012, 06:09 PM
This is the only vid I could find of this sketch. After 1:50 something else kicks in that's not related.

james brown is annie w/ eddie murphy - YouTube
:cool::D

evillive
22-02-2012, 07:56 AM
http://petrinygard.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/naimisii1.jpg

nofuture
24-02-2012, 01:14 AM
http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/funny%20pictures%20cool%20pics%20crazy%20photos/super_funny_hilarious_pictures_crazy_fun_Pleasing_ a_woman_with_3_12_inches0-size-600x0.jpg

nofuture
25-02-2012, 06:13 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/429201_10150732355803709_7229903708_12393031_16500 77551_n.jpg

sugarray
25-02-2012, 11:41 PM
http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/gallery/porn-accidental/jesus-light-switch.jpg

jack herrar
27-02-2012, 02:31 AM
Mr Hankey - The Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever
South Park - The Most Offensive Christmas Song Ever (Uncensored) - YouTube
:eek:

maxine
27-02-2012, 09:32 AM
Kevin Bloody Wilson Hey Santa Claus - YouTube

Dirty Christmas song - YouTube

Kevin Bloody Wilson - Dicktaphone - YouTube

psketti
27-02-2012, 09:37 AM
Kevin Bloody Wilson Hey Santa Claus - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU)

Dirty Christmas song - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78R4gkpuDAA&feature=related)

Kevin Bloody Wilson - Dicktaphone - YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG3sBOMvWy0)

Made me laugh :D

nofuture
27-02-2012, 02:57 PM
http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/1269663252595.jpg

screamingeagle
02-03-2012, 10:39 AM
:D
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_y71reyDy9lg/S_zo1vmmiOI/AAAAAAAABBQ/S3UPLgJJVuM/s1600/Gay%2Bterrorist%2BYomama%2Bbin%2Bshopping.jpg

maxine
02-03-2012, 10:48 AM
:D
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_y71reyDy9lg/S_zo1vmmiOI/AAAAAAAABBQ/S3UPLgJJVuM/s1600/Gay%2Bterrorist%2BYomama%2Bbin%2Bshopping.jpg

Lol!! :D

screamingeagle
04-03-2012, 06:29 PM
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/2961772_460s.jpg

screamingeagle
04-03-2012, 06:33 PM
:D:D:D
http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/internet-memes-its-tricky-to-extract-those-files.jpg

theqleaner
04-03-2012, 08:18 PM
LOLz..

screamingeagle
06-03-2012, 02:12 PM
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3162773_700b.jpg

jack herrar
06-03-2012, 07:28 PM
To anyone who thinks taking drugs makes them look cool:

Mystery land 2011 - crazy dancing guy - YouTube

Drugs are bad, mkay... they may be fun but they do not make you look cool. :D

Could this guy be channeling something??? He sure looks possessed.:D

eternal1stparty
09-03-2012, 07:15 PM
For Kids - YouTube

coco
11-03-2012, 04:01 AM
A drunk's walking home from the pub with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. On he arduously trods all lopsided: curb, street, curb, street.....

A cop say, "Hey buddy, you're drunk!"

The drunk says, "Oh thank goodness, I thought I was crippled!"


*bu-dum-tish!*

screamingeagle
14-03-2012, 08:45 AM
http://i1004.photobucket.com/albums/af169/carbonhighheel/Mypics378.jpg

screamingeagle
16-03-2012, 11:32 AM
:D:D:D

http://www.epicfail.com/2012/03/14/garbage-man-fail/

evillive
17-03-2012, 07:45 AM
http://petrinygard.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/dragonproblem.jpg

merlincove
17-03-2012, 11:09 AM
Darth Vader in Love - YouTube

screamingeagle
17-03-2012, 04:17 PM
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/423255_331421873572390_199077356806843_857968_1654 023416_n.jpg

saty
17-03-2012, 07:21 PM
http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii315/lightsout4you/298395_215632905171573_152655834802614_483353_1569 760032_n.jpg

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii315/lightsout4you/34413101500992810231368.jpg

coco
20-03-2012, 03:40 AM
Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines!

I've gotta million of them folks, A Million!!

coco
20-03-2012, 03:42 AM
A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months!

nofuture
20-03-2012, 07:07 PM
http://greylining.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/flounce-bingo.jpg?w=510

theqleaner
21-03-2012, 03:42 AM
Coco.. You're Still Here ??

coco
21-03-2012, 09:48 PM
Yes. :)

How have you been? (Never mind the image below, I'm Yorkie bombing the forum.)

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j16/revo2294/yorkies/flag.gif

theqleaner
22-03-2012, 12:16 AM
Yes. :)

How have you been? (Never mind the image below, I'm Yorkie bombing the forum.)

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j16/revo2294/yorkies/flag.gif

Not Well.. In Tremendous Pain.. And Not Sure If I Can Continue..

coco
22-03-2012, 04:38 PM
Not Well.. In Tremendous Pain.. And Not Sure If I Can Continue..

??

What's wrong?

theqleaner
22-03-2012, 07:13 PM
??

What's wrong?

Other than everything ?? I cannot take the pain of constantly being fucked up the ass by all of the liars and bullshit this world is continuously producing.. While I have had to sacrifice everything and endure 10 years of constant torture and pain..

I have thus removed almost all of my information from the Web (except Google+).. And my patience is just about finished.. I cannot and will not go on like this.. The clock that has been ticking backwards for the past 10 years is about to go BOOM.. THERE IS NO MORE TIME ANY MORE !!! MOTHERFUCKERS WON'T LISTEN TO ME.. SURE AS SHIT HAVEN'T BEEN PAYING ME.. AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY MORE !!

WEAPONS FREE.. NUKE EVERYTHING !!

screamingeagle
23-03-2012, 11:59 AM
:D
http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk260/MrBooooh/OldHulkUpEdited.jpg

maxine
23-03-2012, 12:40 PM
A doctor was doing his ward round - in a Bosnian hospital. He eventually came across a little girl - who was laying in bed!
The little girl said, "doctor, doctor - i can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "that's because we've amputated your arms!" :D

martg
26-03-2012, 09:35 PM
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/captions-funny-lol-5.jpg?w=500&h=661

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/captions-funny-lol-13.jpg?w=500&h=461

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/captions-funny-lol-20.jpg?w=500&h=343

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/captions-funny-lol-30.jpg?w=500&h=335

psketti
26-03-2012, 09:38 PM
Cactus swinging... :D

sumonht1990
27-03-2012, 07:46 AM
Subject: Sex with George Burns at 97 yrs of age!!

:-P
When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey.
Oprah asked, "Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable."
Mr. Burns said, "I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it."
Oprah said, "I understand you still do the sex thing, even at your age."
George said, "Of course I still do the sex thing, and I am quite good at it."
Oprah said, "I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?"
So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, "I just don't believe that I have ever been so satisfied! You are a remarkable man."
George said, "The second time is even better than the first time.
Oprah said, "You can really do it again at your age?"
George said, "Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes."
When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside herself with joy. She said, "Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be better than the first time... At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!"
George said that the third time would be even better. "You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my penis in your right hand and call me in thirty minutes."
Oprah said, "Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?"
George said, "No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet!"

Too ugly. What a stupid!

maxine
27-03-2012, 09:19 PM
A woman goes to the doctors - for her husbands test results!


Woman: "I've come for my husbands test results!"

Receptionist: "What's his name?"

Woman: "Mr Jones!"

Receptionist: "I'm afraid that there's been a bit of a mix up! We have two, "Mr Jones." One has a heart condition - and the other has HIV!"

Woman: "Well that's just not good enough!! What am i suppose to do now?"

Receptionist: "Well, all i can suggest - is that you go home - send him on a ten mile run - if he comes back - don't fuck him!" :D

nofuture
29-03-2012, 01:03 AM
http://cache.blippitt.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/reality_worst_game_ever.jpg

a_skywatcher
01-04-2012, 07:28 PM
Top 45 Oxymoron's


45. Act naturally
44. Found missing
43. Resident alien
42. Advanced BASIC
41. Genuine imitation
40. Airline Food
39. Good grief
38. Same difference
37. Almost exactly
36. Government organization
35. Sanitary landfill
34. Alone together
33. Legally drunk
32. Silent scream
31. Living dead
30. Small crowd
29. Business ethics
28. Soft rock
27. Butt Head
26. Military Intelligence
25. Software documentation
24. New classic
23. Sweet sorrow
22. Childproof
21. "Now, then ..."
20. Synthetic natural gas
19. Passive aggression
18. Taped live
17. Clearly misunderstood
16. Peace force
15. Extinct Life
14. Temporary tax increase
13. Computer jock
12. Plastic glasses
11. Terribly pleased
10. Computer security
9. Political science
8. Tight slacks
7. Definite maybe
6. Pretty ugly
5. Twelve-ounce pound cake
4. Diet ice cream
3. Working vacation
2. Exact estimate
1. Microsoft Works




http://vaccinesdonotwork.blogspot.com/

http://chemtrailsmanchesteruk.blogspot.com/

a_skywatcher
01-04-2012, 07:32 PM
10 Step Guide for DIY Handyman

If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.

Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it isn't stupid.

Work in the kitchen whenever you can...many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.

If it's electronic, get a new one...or consult a twelve year old.

Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning the switch or just paint over it.

Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.

Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.

If something looks level, it is level.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.



http://vaccinesdonotwork.blogspot.com/

http://chemtrailsmanchesteruk.blogspot.com/

a_skywatcher
06-04-2012, 03:11 PM
WB was in a pub on Saturday night. He'd had a few....

He noticed two large women by the bar. They both had strong accents so he asked, "Hey, are
you two ladies from Scotland?"

One of them chirped: "It's WALES you friggin' idiot!"

So,he immediately apologized and said..., "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland ?"

That's the last thing he remembers... :D






http://vaccinesdonotwork.blogspot.com/

http://chemtrailsmanchesteruk.blogspot.com/

nofuture
07-04-2012, 08:32 PM
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532116_10150782953430196_735200195_12125647_203317 6111_n.jpg

screamingeagle
09-04-2012, 05:56 PM
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Justin Bieber Shot on CSI - YouTube

psketti
09-04-2012, 11:11 PM
http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/532116_10150782953430196_735200195_12125647_203317 6111_n.jpg

That's funny, cheers :D

martg
10-04-2012, 05:02 PM
more an endurance test than anything else
10 hours of amazing horse :confused::p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83M60qeRyMc

You win a prize if you watch all 10 hours ;)
I got to 6 minutes :o

psketti
10-04-2012, 07:40 PM
more an endurance test than anything else
10 hours of amazing horse :confused::p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83M60qeRyMc

You win a prize if you watch all 10 hours ;)
I got to 6 minutes :o

:D well it's 5mins 23secs more than I could do.

hugo_rune
10-04-2012, 07:58 PM
http://linein.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/crab_battle.jpg

martg
10-04-2012, 08:28 PM
:D well it's 5mins 23secs more than I could do.

No prize for you! :D

http://linein.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/crab_battle.jpg

:D
having trouble with crabs? :p

hugo_rune
10-04-2012, 08:38 PM
No prize for you! :D



:D
having trouble with crabs? :p

Damn things. Worse than Jayne Mansfield's lobsters. ;)

martg
10-04-2012, 08:42 PM
Damn things. Worse than Jayne Mansfield's lobsters. ;)

:D

The jobs some of us have to do, eh?

These bloody movie stars!

bloody Greta Garbo! :mad::p

hugo_rune
10-04-2012, 09:07 PM
:D

The jobs some of us have to do, eh?

These bloody movie stars!

bloody Greta Garbo! :mad::p

:D

Pete & Dud. "Bloody Greta Garbo" - YouTube

hugo_rune
10-04-2012, 09:20 PM
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_2rs-rH0BqRg/TTqKktO5WvI/AAAAAAAADTs/1yylMzNUheg/s1600/huge%2Bmetal%2Bfan.jpg

jack herrar
13-04-2012, 04:39 PM
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/best-chive-photos-funny-35.jpg?w=500&h=477

the_ascensionist
13-04-2012, 06:05 PM
A man was taken to court by the police for drunk and disorderly behaviour.
In the public gallery, his 6 year old son as his dad was picking him up from a friends house.

The judge looked at the man and passed a £300 fine. Then the man turned to look at the police and exlaimed "You bastards!"

Free to go, the man picked up his son to head home. The boy, curious as to what 'bastard' meant, he asked his dad, "Dad? What does bastards mean?". With a concerned look upon his face, the father replied "Oh nevermind about that. It's just a silly name for a policeman. Want to get some fish and chips?". The boy nodded and off they went to the chipshop.

At the shop and after being served, he picked up the bag of chips and bottles of pop, trying to open the door with his hands full, he dropped bottles onto the mat. "shit!" The boy curious as to what 'shit' meant, he asked "Daddy? What does shit mean?". The father shook his head and said "Forget about it. It's just a silly name for a mat"

The got home and his dad went upstairs to shave. The boy goes into the bathroom to watch in silent fascination. Suddenly his father flinches and see's he is bleeding. He knicked his chin. "Ahh... balls..". The boy asked "Dad? What does balls mean?". His father replied "It's just another name for... your face. Hey, go down and see your mother."

So the boy went downstairs to see his mum. She was stuffing a turkey and prepparing it for easter dinner the next day. Cutting herself with a knife she exclaimed "Oh fucking hell!". The boy curiously asked "Mum? What does fucking mean?". She hesitated and replied "It's just another name for... preparation. Preparing the turkey."

At that moment there was a knock on the door. The mother asked her son to answer it while she got a plaster to continue preparing the turkey. The boy runs to the door and opens it, only to see 2 policemen. The boy greeted them, "Hello you bastards! Come on in. Wipe your feet on the shit. My dad is upstairs shaving his balls and my mums in the kitchen fucking a turkey!"

jack herrar
13-04-2012, 09:51 PM
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/dopamine-is-good-for-you-28.jpg

yorick
14-04-2012, 04:58 PM
The agent of an out-of-work ventriloquist set him up as a medium who could "channel" the dead. A woman visited his kiosk on the sea-front and asked to speak to her late husband Charlie. The vent went into a "trance" and pretende to be Charlie. "Hello, dear, I'm just drinking a gottle of geer and eating a fork fie." He jabbered away for 10 minutes then faded the voice. The woman was enthralled and willingly paid the £20 fee.
She asked him to book her another sitting at £20. "It'll be £50 next time" he smiled.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because next time I'll get Charlie to speak to you while I'm drinking a glass of water!"

jack herrar
15-04-2012, 10:36 PM
Doggie stole my move! :mad:

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/awesome-photos-4.jpg
:D

screamingeagle
16-04-2012, 04:51 PM
:D:D:D
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/3857106_460s.jpg

jack herrar
17-04-2012, 12:50 AM
The moment you realise... this is so going to hurt...

http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/sports-derps-111.jpg

maxine
17-04-2012, 11:46 AM
7338

jack herrar
17-04-2012, 11:33 PM
http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/friday_gifdump_37_07.gif

turquoisefire777
20-04-2012, 04:22 PM
Serbian Love Words

Serbian Love Words - YouTube

elshaper
24-04-2012, 12:49 AM
Trust me, this gave me a giggle.
I do love the way they cut the video :D

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17819220

sumonht1990
24-04-2012, 10:52 AM
I see, you are a fun kid who knows only to joke.

elshaper
24-04-2012, 11:57 PM
I see, you are a fun kid who knows only to joke.
Did you watch the video till the end? The punch line is at the end but you must watch it from the beginning to get the contrast. :D

http://p.twimg.com/ArQf1dUCIAAduLM.png:medium

turquoisefire777
25-04-2012, 10:57 AM
10 condoms

10 condoms - YouTube

evillive
27-04-2012, 09:50 AM
:confused:

http://petrinygard.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/mastur18_064.jpg

lewi
30-04-2012, 10:24 PM
EXTREME BRUTAL LEGEND - YouTube

screamingeagle
16-05-2012, 06:01 PM
:eek::D
http://sp270.fotolog.com/photo/0/36/54/jay_metal/1218579445339_f.jpg

nofuture
19-05-2012, 12:33 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/535737_10151118124659832_710709831_13224441_115591 3307_n.jpg

bush doctor
20-05-2012, 12:44 AM
Funny Squirrel ! Allan Allan Allan... Steve steve steve - YouTube

screamingeagle
21-05-2012, 09:16 PM
:D
http://www.sheep.physicsisbroken.com/Facepalm.jpg

screamingeagle
22-05-2012, 09:49 AM
http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/560437_359277390798038_195318133860632_974622_8046 60077_n.jpg

nofuture
22-05-2012, 10:17 PM
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/543511_413239685365540_307677629255080_1309879_147 2591156_n.jpg

screamingeagle
23-05-2012, 01:02 PM
:D:D:D:D
http://a3.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/522286_10150823071341840_21785951839_9899417_55938 6080_n.jpg