herebynightfall
08-08-2007, 06:04 PM
Name: Students For the Secession of the West and Northeast
Type: Common Interest - Politics
Description: THE CASE FOR BLUE STATE SECESSION*
----------------Statement-----------------
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, you get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel, Microsoft, and Apple. You get WorldCom and Halliburton. We get Harvard. You get Texas A&M. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that the Republic of the Secular Americas will be pro-choice, pro-separation of church and state, anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias & condors, all the Seven Sister schools, Harvard, Yale, Columbia (all the Ivy Leagues, for that matter), Stanford, UC Berkeley (all the UCs, for that matter), USC, University of Washington, University of Chicago, Cal Tech, MIT, and nearly all of the other elite schools you can think of.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood, Yellowstone, and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, and 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
-----------------Statistics------------------
9 out of 10 of the states that pay the least and recieve the most of federal tax dollars are red states.
8 out of 10 of the states that pay the most and recieve the least are blue states.
The state with the lowest divorce rate is the blue, gay marriage state of Massachusettes.
The South has the highest teen pregancy, infant mortality, and sexually transmitted disease rates in the nation.
You are three times more likely to be murdered in parts of the South than anywhere in New England, despite a feverish devotion to "law-and-order" that has made eight Southern states home to 90 percent of all recent U.S. executions
More people live below the poverty line in the old Confederacy than in the Northeast and Midwest combined.
-------------------Quotes------------------
In a telephone interview, Mr. O'Donnell said the red states that went to Mr. Bush "collect more from the federal government than they send in. New York and California, Connecticut — the states that are blue are all the states that are paying for the bulk of everything this government does, from ... Social Security to everything else, and the people in those states don't like what this government is doing."
Type: Common Interest - Politics
Description: THE CASE FOR BLUE STATE SECESSION*
----------------Statement-----------------
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, you get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel, Microsoft, and Apple. You get WorldCom and Halliburton. We get Harvard. You get Texas A&M. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that the Republic of the Secular Americas will be pro-choice, pro-separation of church and state, anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias & condors, all the Seven Sister schools, Harvard, Yale, Columbia (all the Ivy Leagues, for that matter), Stanford, UC Berkeley (all the UCs, for that matter), USC, University of Washington, University of Chicago, Cal Tech, MIT, and nearly all of the other elite schools you can think of.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood, Yellowstone, and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, and 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
-----------------Statistics------------------
9 out of 10 of the states that pay the least and recieve the most of federal tax dollars are red states.
8 out of 10 of the states that pay the most and recieve the least are blue states.
The state with the lowest divorce rate is the blue, gay marriage state of Massachusettes.
The South has the highest teen pregancy, infant mortality, and sexually transmitted disease rates in the nation.
You are three times more likely to be murdered in parts of the South than anywhere in New England, despite a feverish devotion to "law-and-order" that has made eight Southern states home to 90 percent of all recent U.S. executions
More people live below the poverty line in the old Confederacy than in the Northeast and Midwest combined.
-------------------Quotes------------------
In a telephone interview, Mr. O'Donnell said the red states that went to Mr. Bush "collect more from the federal government than they send in. New York and California, Connecticut — the states that are blue are all the states that are paying for the bulk of everything this government does, from ... Social Security to everything else, and the people in those states don't like what this government is doing."