Thank you everyone...

[budgeebird]

For being here....

I'm not sure if i should say anything beyond this. I'm numb, and i feel like i would have cried if i weren't. But it doesn't matter. I'm just back to the down wave in my emotions. I'm not asking for a boost though...i just want to thank all you wonderful people for just being here.

And there was something else to say, but i wish we could all go and talk in the world beyond the physical...and not be bound by who we are in this world.... this world is just not well... all these pockets of time and information we could visit if we just could... and not feel the pain here...and see the truth...

By now i'm crying... i'm a child of a lost world as i see myself...i try to visit the places where time stands still, looking for memories and i keep a big binder of notes...that's all that is left of my world...it's just gone so soon...

You may say WTH is he/she/it talking about? Is she insane? The only way i can say it, is that today's world is so artificial, it can almost be peeled off and rolled up in a tube, but that may not make any sense either....i may rephrase that... it's shallow, vain, artificial...i can pick it apart in my mind and the pieces come off so broken that the no longer go back together. My world is still in the space around me that's left when i turn around, take a step left or right...in other words it's real... but it exists for that split second in which i can find a moment to think, take a breath and resettle myself between the sandwich sheets of today's as they collapse onto me as again

You don't have to understand this. You may be more apt at reading things written my a neurotypical rather than a person with autism/asperger's. It's fair that way. I just hope ONE person understands. Just try to see it my way for a split second. A beautiful world that is underneath the world of delusion, but the world of delusion is on it like a blanket and it's eating away everything beneath it. It's like a cancer, like a flesh-eating mask that will only leave a skeleton beneath it if it is left as it is. I always wonder if people will remember how to live when this plague is over. Please remember that people with autism interpret life as detail. A lot of it. But today's world doesn't want to know detail, it wants to project a two dimensional illusion. Very painful for me.

-budgee

P.S. I did not proofread this at all...these are my feelings in this post, i can't hover over them and make them look perfect. They are raw feelings that are true to the moment they were written

[wazaaap]

For being here....

I'm not sure if i should say anything beyond this. I'm numb, and i feel like i would have cried if i weren't. But it doesn't matter. I'm just back to the down wave in my emotions. I'm not asking for a boost though...i just want to thank all you wonderful people for just being here.

And there was something else to say, but i wish we could all go and talk in the world beyond the physical...and not be bound by who we are in this world.... this world is just not well... all these pockets of time and information we could visit if we just could... and not feel the pain here...and see the truth...

By now i'm crying... i'm a child of a lost world as i see myself...i try to visit the places where time stands still, looking for memories and i keep a big binder of notes...that's all that is left of my world...it's just gone so soon...

You may say WTH is he/she/it talking about? Is she insane? The only way i can say it, is that today's world is so artificial, it can almost be peeled off and rolled up in a tube, but that may not make any sense either....i may rephrase that... it's shallow, vain, artificial...i can pick it apart in my mind and the pieces come off so broken that the no longer go back together. My world is still in the space around me that's left when i turn around, take a step left or right...in other words it's real... but it exists for that split second in which i can find a moment to think, take a breath and resettle myself between the sandwich sheets of today's as they collapse onto me as again

You don't have to understand this. You may be more apt at reading things written my a neurotypical rather than a person with autism/asperger's. It's fair that way. I just hope ONE person understands. Just try to see it my way for a split second. A beautiful world that is underneath the world of delusion, but the world of delusion is on it like a blanket and it's eating away everything beneath it. It's like a cancer, like a flesh-eating mask that will only leave a skeleton beneath it if it is left as it is. I always wonder if people will remember how to live when this plague is over. Please remember that people with autism interpret life as detail. A lot of it. But today's world doesn't want to know detail, it wants to project a two dimensional illusion. Very painful for me.

-budgee

P.S. I did not proofread this at all...these are my feelings in this post, i can't hover over them and make them look perfect. They are raw feelings that are true to the moment they were written

you are thinking how the NWO want people to think.

it is a destructive thought pattern.

i used to see concrete as a virus in this world created by man, i now see it as a gift to make the world a better place to be.

if we werent here the rest of the world would change for the worse.

[grandsecretary]

What we have now is those awful polluting wind farms.

[limelady]

For being here....

I'm not sure if i should say anything beyond this. I'm numb, and i feel like i would have cried if i weren't. But it doesn't matter. I'm just back to the down wave in my emotions. I'm not asking for a boost though...i just want to thank all you wonderful people for just being here.

And there was something else to say, but i wish we could all go and talk in the world beyond the physical...and not be bound by who we are in this world.... this world is just not well... all these pockets of time and information we could visit if we just could... and not feel the pain here...and see the truth...

By now i'm crying... i'm a child of a lost world as i see myself...i try to visit the places where time stands still, looking for memories and i keep a big binder of notes...that's all that is left of my world...it's just gone so soon...

You may say WTH is he/she/it talking about? Is she insane? The only way i can say it, is that today's world is so artificial, it can almost be peeled off and rolled up in a tube, but that may not make any sense either....i may rephrase that... it's shallow, vain, artificial...i can pick it apart in my mind and the pieces come off so broken that the no longer go back together. My world is still in the space around me that's left when i turn around, take a step left or right...in other words it's real... but it exists for that split second in which i can find a moment to think, take a breath and resettle myself between the sandwich sheets of today's as they collapse onto me as again

You don't have to understand this. You may be more apt at reading things written my a neurotypical rather than a person with autism/asperger's. It's fair that way. I just hope ONE person understands. Just try to see it my way for a split second. A beautiful world that is underneath the world of delusion, but the world of delusion is on it like a blanket and it's eating away everything beneath it. It's like a cancer, like a flesh-eating mask that will only leave a skeleton beneath it if it is left as it is. I always wonder if people will remember how to live when this plague is over. Please remember that people with autism interpret life as detail. A lot of it. But today's world doesn't want to know detail, it wants to project a two dimensional illusion. Very painful for me.

-budgee

P.S. I did not proofread this at all...these are my feelings in this post, i can't hover over them and make them look perfect. They are raw feelings that are true to the moment they were written


I see what you see, and I understand. I just don't know how to make it better for you and everyone else. I wish I did know.

All I can do right now is send you my love and my highest hope that one day soon you will again be able to look around you and see 'your' world once more. This is what we are all striving for......this is what is in each of our hearts.

Keep your chin up little budgeebird....remember, no matter how hard it gets, how sad and bad it all seems, you are NEVER alone. We are oneness, so please hold this in your heart and let it nourish you!

Love
limelady :)

[budgeebird]

you are thinking how the NWO want people to think.

it is a destructive thought pattern.

i used to see concrete as a virus in this world created by man, i now see it as a gift to make the world a better place to be.

if we werent here the rest of the world would change for the worse.

that's a very narrow scope of seeing this. I'm not talking about concrete, or buildings for that matter. I'm talking about living next to people with a flattened consciousness, flattened state of mind.... It is difficult by itself to have full understanding in a conversation with a neurotypical, but the faster the world goes, the more the collective mind footprint, stretches, blurs and becomes gray. Beauty and patterns and knowledge is replaced with canned mass manufactured sub-thoughts that people base their thought on

-budgee

[budgeebird]

What we have now is those awful polluting wind farms.

I see a clumsy attempt at sarcasm. Those wind turbines should have bird guards if they are to be considered "green"

-budgee

[ozpixie]

Hi there budgee, sending a big hug your way. If it's any consolation, a while back, I had a couple of weeks feeling the same way. Seesawing between the idea that I was nuts and had totally lost it, and worrying that it was all hopeless. I got people to read articles and watch videos to validate the truth that I was discovering and that I was actually OK. I felt like a total fool for having lived my life in a sham, believing all the lies.

You must not stay in this low vibrational field or you could risk becoming clinically depressed. You must believe in your right to exist as a free human being. Your job now is to formulate a plan that will take you forward. As you go forward, you will help others, whether you ever realise it or meet them or not. The path is different for all of us. Now I have no fear at all. My precognitive abilities are returning, my intuitive sense is working better than ever and strangers have begun to ask me questions about what is happening in the world. I am also discovering people around me who openly criticise the NWO, the scams and corruption that surrounds us. This is no coincidence and the momentum around the world keeps building. David is spot on that there is a very powerful energy change happening. You will be OK.

[size_of_light]

that's a very narrow scope of seeing this. I'm not talking about concrete, or buildings for that matter. I'm talking about living next to people with a flattened consciousness, flattened state of mind.... It is difficult by itself to have full understanding in a conversation with a neurotypical, but the faster the world goes, the more the collective mind footprint, stretches, blurs and becomes gray. Beauty and patterns and knowledge is replaced with canned mass manufactured sub-thoughts that people base their thought on

-budgee

There are several independent prophecies I know of, made long ago, that in this time period the world would speed up and be diluted and drained of all it's good qualities. At least take comfort in knowing that you're not the only one who sees it, or saw it coming. It's also not the end of life and the damage you see is only a temporary condition; nothing is irreparable. Things will change and all will be replenished and purified again.:)

[boots]

For being here....

I'm not sure if i should say anything beyond this. I'm numb, and i feel like i would have cried if i weren't. But it doesn't matter. I'm just back to the down wave in my emotions. I'm not asking for a boost though...i just want to thank all you wonderful people for just being here.

And there was something else to say, but i wish we could all go and talk in the world beyond the physical...and not be bound by who we are in this world.... this world is just not well... all these pockets of time and information we could visit if we just could... and not feel the pain here...and see the truth...

By now i'm crying... i'm a child of a lost world as i see myself...i try to visit the places where time stands still, looking for memories and i keep a big binder of notes...that's all that is left of my world...it's just gone so soon...

You may say WTH is he/she/it talking about? Is she insane? The only way i can say it, is that today's world is so artificial, it can almost be peeled off and rolled up in a tube, but that may not make any sense either....i may rephrase that... it's shallow, vain, artificial...i can pick it apart in my mind and the pieces come off so broken that the no longer go back together. My world is still in the space around me that's left when i turn around, take a step left or right...in other words it's real... but it exists for that split second in which i can find a moment to think, take a breath and resettle myself between the sandwich sheets of today's as they collapse onto me as again

You don't have to understand this. You may be more apt at reading things written my a neurotypical rather than a person with autism/asperger's. It's fair that way. I just hope ONE person understands. Just try to see it my way for a split second. A beautiful world that is underneath the world of delusion, but the world of delusion is on it like a blanket and it's eating away everything beneath it. It's like a cancer, like a flesh-eating mask that will only leave a skeleton beneath it if it is left as it is. I always wonder if people will remember how to live when this plague is over. Please remember that people with autism interpret life as detail. A lot of it. But today's world doesn't want to know detail, it wants to project a two dimensional illusion. Very painful for me.

-budgee

P.S. I did not proofread this at all...these are my feelings in this post, i can't hover over them and make them look perfect. They are raw feelings that are true to the moment they were written

This is what makes a great post.

I hear you budgee. I have an autistic daughter, well she is more aspergers we think.

Yeah the world and it people can be very 2 demensional and hard to communicate with. It's like dealing with robots sometimes and then of course there are the beautiful peeps out there.

I get the feeling that things can only get better for this world. It's a bit like birthing pains. It's real shit but the aftermath is just beautiful. A lot of us have been feeling something is up with the energies and at least you can express yourself here without the ridicule, well not to much lol.

From what I have seen of your posts you come across as a good person. Thats what matters.

Love to you budgee:)

.

[boots]

What we have now is those awful polluting wind farms.


Wanker:rolleyes:

.

[eternalwheel]

You must believe in your right to exist as a free human being.

^^^^^^ absolutely right

Take care Budgee

[budgeebird]

Thank you everyone for all the kind, reassuring words. It feels much better to know that someone can understand, that i'm not alone feeling and seeing this disparity

I should perhaps tell a little scrap of a story to make things a little easier to piece together.

I was born into and grew up in an untouched place/time....because time in the social sense is relative depending on where you go. It was a place forsaken by those who are trying to get a their hands on and control everything. That was 10 years of my life. It was all that i was accustomed to. A world like that is much easier to understand for those with autism/asperger's, because the details link together and make sense, and there is so much of simple things to be enjoyed. It was all real.

Then my Mom and i moved to the States in april of 2001. It was a confusing artificial world for me from the start. Food tasted flat and wrong. People seemed programmed/conditioned. I learned the language quickly, but felt lost. Friendships were shallow, people were quick to jump to stereotypes and have fun at another's expense. My life became a fog. I turned to studying and to making notes, looking at old photograps. I realized that the life i come from existed nearly everywhere at some point in time, that i was not crazy.

But i was also in and out of the 2d hallucination for a period of time, still conscious, seeing that much didn't make sense, desperately trying to grasp onto whatever was familiar. I made mistakes as i tried to do that, but i was able to push it away from me and see that what i could hang onto is in my own self. I realized that everything that there was in my life i now more or less carry on my back like a snail. That my home is in my mind and in my sketches and notes, and little facts. I can take it with me...

But before i came here and before i read what you all said, i almost felt like there was war, and the war was lost, and that the remnants of what was my life no one recognises and understands. I'm glad to know that it's not all so.

Love :)

-budgee

[simplysimon]

Hey budgee

I'm getting to experience some really amazing things at the moment, all I can tell you is this place isn't exactly what you think it is :)

You'll find your path and your own happiness, this is a really great place to find your direction from.

The pain we feel here is incredibly important, there are reasons for it and it may seem callous but everything really does happen for a reason.

I would say that alot of what we read is taken on board as knowledge and truth. Do you believe the truth or live it though ;)

Take care my friend.

[curtaincat]

hi budgee, i understand , truly

here is a short thing i found today


(it is from a daily buddha meditation place. ( i am not any religion))

"A myriad bubbles were floating on the surface of a stream. 'What are you?' I cried to them as they drifted by. 'I am a bubble, of course' nearly a myriad bubbles answered, and there was surprise and indignation in their voices as they passed. But, here and there, a lonely bubble answered, 'We are this stream', and there was neither surprise nor indignation in their voices, but just a quiet certitude. - Ask the Awakened by Wei Wu Wei "


love and hugs


dont take any notice of that 'wind farm guy', he is just the big fart in the scheme of things, lol.

:)

[curtaincat]

I see what you see, and I understand. I just don't know how to make it better for you and everyone else. I wish I did know.

All I can do right now is send you my love and my highest hope that one day soon you will again be able to look around you and see 'your' world once more. This is what we are all striving for......this is what is in each of our hearts.

Keep your chin up little budgeebird....remember, no matter how hard it gets, how sad and bad it all seems, you are NEVER alone. We are oneness, so please hold this in your heart and let it nourish you!

Love
limelady :)

ditto, read this again budgee, really worth remembering, it is wise advice to me too! ty LL :):cool:

[lewi]

Life Of Brian - Ending - YouTube

[budgeebird]

ditto, read this again budgee, really worth remembering, it is wise advice to me too! ty LL :):cool:

It is :)

her post really touched my heart... i was going to PM her, but i guess i'm gonna do that tonight, since i ended up just typing another big post....

i'm feeling better though... thanks again everyone. Everyone is just so amazing here:)

-budgee

[runlikehell]

:( Turn/ing a breakdown/s :eek: Into a breakthrough/s :)

[bulltwister]

And there was something else to say, but i wish we could all go and talk in the world beyond the physical...and not be bound by who we are in this world.... this world is just not well... all these pockets of time and information we could visit if we just could... and not feel the pain here...and see the truth...

A beautiful world that is underneath the world of delusion,

I'm with you budgeebird
Remember the beautiful world IS unerneath
Much love and respect to you

[limelady]

It is :)

her post really touched my heart... i was going to PM her, but i guess i'm gonna do that tonight, since i ended up just typing another big post....

i'm feeling better though... thanks again everyone. Everyone is just so amazing here:)

-budgee

So glad to hear you are feeling better budgie! :)

You take care of yourself......and everything else is going to work out for you just as it should.

xx

[fairyelfdog]

Budgeebird... I have not read this thread but I read your first message. Thank you. You make my heart sing too. All we really need is that aknowledgement, the rest doesn't matter. Don't ever "adapt". The way you express things is magnificent. You are magnificent.