Any tips on slaying the ego?

[emptiness]

By ego I don't mean "inflated self-image," because I certainly do not have that.

By ego I mean "the desire to have a great self-image by accumulating things - whether they be material or even mental ideas such as being loved, smart, etc."

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

[gushen]

Buddhist teachings say that all suffering is rooted on desire. if you have no desires, you can't suffer. desires are all about the ego because it comes from the assumption that you are incomplete as you are and you need something external so that you can be "more of you", but the problem is that the "I" does not exist. the ego is nothing, it's the void of the soul. people try to cast lights on this void all the time.

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[stockstalker]

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

I'm in the same boat. But try turning your perspective around by 180 degrees. Instead of thinking that you need a girlfriend b/c you are the lonely one, try going out there thinking this: "Which other lonely woman needs you for a boyfriend?"

The moment you change from "I need" to "I give", your life will be filled with wonders (of course, the fundamental truth is "I both need and give"). So, go out there and find a lonely woman that needs some company and get together with her! But, don't marry her, unless you really like her because you are good and true to yourself as well!

See a need, fill the need.

(Note: I currently have no girlfriend, not b/c I'm not trying, it's just that I have no money to spend on one).

P.S.: Happiness is not something that you fill an empty glass with. If you have "faith" in the universe and let the empty glass remain empty, it will fill itself (100% money back guarantee)!

[turquoisefire777]

By ego I don't mean "inflated self-image," because I certainly do not have that.

By ego I mean "the desire to have a great self-image by accumulating things - whether they be material or even mental ideas such as being loved, smart, etc."

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

i found eckhart tolle's books of great help concerning ego. starting with 'a new earth' and then going back to 'the power of now' etc...

neale donald walsch's 'tomorrow's god' is also a descent read

[key_]

By ego I don't mean "inflated self-image," because I certainly do not have that.

By ego I mean "the desire to have a great self-image by accumulating things - whether they be material or even mental ideas such as being loved, smart, etc."

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

What are you going to do then?

What's the point of your existence, if it's not to desire new things in life and then achieve them?

Would this world exist today if people didn’t desire things to be different?

What do you think makes the earth go around and the people in it live?


I would like to know what you would do without desire, how you could be creative without it

[stockstalker]

What are you going to do then?

What's the point of your existence, if it's not to desire new things in life and then achieve them?

Would this world exist today if people didn’t desire things to be different?

What do you think makes the earth go around and the people in it live?


I would like to know what you would do without desire, how you could be creative without it

Key has a point. It's like, do you love yourself, forsaking others? Or, do you forsake yourself to love others? Why can't it be both, or neither?

[eternal_spirit]

This getting rid of the ego stuff will just confuse you even more and take you away from your natural self. Which is a human with desires, emotions and all that's attached.

You can't pretend to be Buddha, humble, chaste, without wants, in a modern society. If you do you'll just get left behind, loose your drive, ambitions and natural reactions to life's situations and may miss out on a whole lot of fun and opportunities.

Seriously it will just take away your God given self confidence (because you'll be over analysing things) Is it my ego? is it false what I'm feeling thinking, doing etc. Should I be perceiving things differently beyond/ without the ego etc?

I humbled myself and lost my confidence and now I feel I got left behind and missed out on too much.
Also if you're denying yourself what you feel you need, then it may end up repressed and cause other emotional problems, or you'll explode eventually and maybe become addicted to things that you've previously denied yourself.

[gushen]

What are you going to do then?



I would like to know what you would do without desire, how you could be creative without it


desire arises from external circumstances. Since everything in the outside world is limited and temporary, you will always be disappointed.

now, Will is not caused by anything. it is spontaneous.Desire is rooted on materialism, Will is rooted on spirituality. Replace desire with Will and you can be creative and desireless at the same time. You will create for the sake of creating, and not because you have something to prove or to achieve.

[key_]

desire arises from external circumstances. Since everything in the outside world is limited and temporary, you will always be disappointed.

now, Will is not caused by anything. it is spontaneous.Desire is rooted on materialism, Will is rooted on spirituality. Replace desire with Will and you can be creative and desireless at the same time. You create for the sake of creating, and not because you have something to prove or to achieve.

What might be so bad about proving or achieving might be the fact that your pushing yourself to something rather then being pulled to it

Hence the difference between motivation and inspiration

But will is also a desire, to not desire is also a desire

So how does that work?

Desire is still in play how do you get it out of the equation and still let things function?

[gushen]

and answering your question OP, in order to annihilate the ego you need extreme discipline. you need to walk the "narrow path" toward spirituality. it's the only way. it takes a lot of energy. you need to become more than you are as a human, perhaps superhuman because the spirit _is_ superhuman.

however, the other poster was right: getting rid of or destroying the ego is futile, because the Ego, as I said, does not exist. it is nothing, it is a void. you cannot destroy what does not exist. however, it is the very futile attempt of destroying this non-existent beast (an illusion of who you are) that leads to spiritual perfection. As you can see this gets very paradoxical from now on. It is sort of a "destroying by not trying to destroy" thing. The Middle Way, or the Tao. If you want more info go to the second link in my sig and then to "extended descriptions of the intentions of creation" and check out intention #9.

[eternal_spirit]

It's just another from of restraint. Mind control, see people who bang on about ego is bad/wrong etc are saying you are not in your natural state of mind/being, therefore - you have to follow the instructions in a book, or what someone else tells you you should really be like.

So you do as they say, which takes you away from your true self (even though they are claiming the opposite controlling the ego will show you your true self)

Your mind is yours, why try fix something when it's not broke. Why change something natural and rearange it and risk making it worse.

[gushen]

What might be so bad about proving or achieving might be the fact that your pushing yourself to something rather then being pulled to it

Hence the difference between motivation and inspiration

But will is also a desire, to not desire is also a desire

So how does that work?

Desire is still in play how do you get it out of the equation and still let things function?

yes i agree with you. the desire vs. will thing is a " forcing yourself versus being yourself" thing.

will is still desire indeed, but spontaneous desire. the question here is spontaneous desire vs attractive desire (sounds strange, but I could not think of a better word)

attractive desire involves cause and effect and the outside world. things causing you to do something instead of you doing them because you want to. it also involves fascination with things, so you go after them instead of you spontaneously creating the reality where they come to you. the path of least effort (you just create your reality) is the ideal in a spiritual sense.

of course that in our current state as humans we can't create our reality from thin air. there is a time lag involved that requires continued effort. yet, even if our state is not spiritual, our perspective can be. it may take a while for our reality to manifest but it is better than going after things endlessly without ever knowing what the fuck you really want in your life.

edit: anyway, the difference is that the majority is unaware and they let themselves be influenced by external forces. They let the external forces apply to them, so to speak, without being aware of their true desires, or maybe their desire is to be controlled, why not? Of course that a desire to be controleld can never be a conscious one, because if you are conscious, you are always in control. if you can have a conscious choice to let yourself be controlled then you are not truly under control. the slave is a slave because he has never known freedom.

so the ultimate contrast here is awareness vs unawareness. free-will vs. automatic behavior. consciousness vs. determinism. Do you do things because of external circumstances and people, or you do because you want? this is not egocentrical because you can still have a spontaneous desire to help people, for example, and not just somehow end helping people in your life just because you were dragged along by the necessity to make money.

money is a great creativity killer. you do for money, not for art, not for creative purposes. you do because you NEED, and not because you WANT, but what the fuck do you think you need? are your necessities more important than doing what you want? following your will should be your only necessity. the only compromise you have is with your will, with yourself.

don't go after "things", go after your Will. follow your True Will. when people go after things ONLY, they are overlooking their Will and in the process they may have a great deception. first get in touch with your spirit and what you really want, then do whatever it takes to achieve what you want. spiritual purpose is the ultimate focus, the ultimate obsession needed to achieve what you want. it is the ultimate power. most people have LOW energy levels because they don't have a WELL-DEFINED PURPOSE in their lives. they preoccupy themselves with peripheral stuff that is not part of their purpose. but, as I said in another thread, sometimes their purpose is to just experience life and not necessarily do something ' great' with it. in this case, again, if they were aware of their purpose they would try to extrapolate it; thus, they are not aware and that is their purpose: to experience life without being aware of their purpose to experience life.

[melting dogma]

By ego I don't mean "inflated self-image," because I certainly do not have that.

By ego I mean "the desire to have a great self-image by accumulating things - whether they be material or even mental ideas such as being loved, smart, etc."

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

Well.. psychedelic substances can be used as a tool to better self image.
But do your research and respect, otherwise you might get opposite.

There's nothing bad about wanting a girl in your life. My advice: Go for it, throw yourself in those situations where you might get contact with a woman you're having good time with. And don't be needy, you have to have something to share. Or something:p
Hope this had some value for you.

[supertzar]

Have you ever had a psychedelic trip, emptiness?

[fr0sty]

even god had a desire..to create XD

[marpat]

By ego I don't mean "inflated self-image," because I certainly do not have that.

By ego I mean "the desire to have a great self-image by accumulating things - whether they be material or even mental ideas such as being loved, smart, etc."

It is the cause of all suffering, afterall. Especially mine, since I have a pretty good life outside of the fact I can't ****ing get a girlfriend.

The ego is not some object lying around in your mind that you can just get rid of. It is a complex os stresses and condition made by countless personal experiences. What you define as ego is pretty limited. It is far more subtle and wide ranging than that. Why kill it? cant you leave it alone but just not let it master you?

[lightgiver]

It's just another from of restraint. Mind control, see people who bang on about ego is bad/wrong etc are saying you are not in your natural state of mind/being, therefore - you have to follow the instructions in a book, or what someone else tells you you should really be like.

So you do as they say, which takes you away from your true self (even though they are claiming the opposite controlling the ego will show you your true self)

Your mind is yours, why try fix something when it's not broke. Why change something natural and rearange it and risk making it worse.

I like that answer and marpats.