The Michael Jackson joke repository.

[rhydra]

You have been warned, if you don't like them or think you will be offended, don't look but they will be posted eventually. So post them here. :D

[cafetimes1991]

So far I've heard two: Killed by a pram. Notconfirmed: Don't blame it on the buggie!
Earlier: How's his condition in hospital? He's bad!

[size_of_light]

I'm currently working on one where the punchline is "jesus-juice", but I'm not there yet.

[rhydra]

Michael Jackson's upcoming UK dates have been cancelled.

They were Darren (aged 14) and Thomas (aged 15)...


:p

[steppewar]

It's been confirmed that Michael Jackson's ashes will be put into an Etch A Sketch so that kids can still play with his knob.

[rhydra]

Following confirmation of Michal Jackson's death the children's ward has now been reopened.

[micklemus]

Michael Jackson has died of a heart attack. The cause is unknown and doctors are unsure whether to blame it on the sunshine, the moonlight or blame it on the boogie

[unusual_suspect]

I've had like 20 or so today by txt!

[sorath]

Mcdonalds have annonced a new burger in honour of the late Michael jackson. They propose to put a 50 year old piece of meat between two 10 year old buns.

[diamond dogs]

I heard Elton John is to re release

''Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me'

as a tribute......

[talulah]

Reports of Micheal Jackson having a heart attack are incorrect.He was found in the childrens ward having a stroke.

:eek:

[mistress_medusa]

Michael Jackson's girlfriend is said to be distraught by the recent news. She was quoted earlier today - "I can't take it. First my Parents left me in Portugal and now THIS"

Ooooof! Two for the price of one there.

[alzee]

Posted elsewhere, but it belongs here too:

http://www.ismichaeljacksonstillalive.com/

[alzee]

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c367/freddyflint/wanted.jpg

[pinnochio]

Millions of fans have been queing up to get their tickets back. They were told to beat it!

[mistress_medusa]

Frankie Boyle updated his myspace status today to say that he was feeling "adventurous" and that he was replacing the word BAD with DEAD in the song.. "I'm dead. I'm dead. You know it!!"

The joke itself wasn't funny but the thought of Frankie singing that made me laugh my tits off!! :D

[rhydra]

Another Maddie fusion...


"just as Madeline McCann thought it was safe in heaven..."

[astrochicken]

"Hey Michael, leave those kids alone.."


to the tune of pink floyd's "another brick in the wall".

[cafetimes1991]

Michael Jackson was deeply saddened upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates of Heaven when St. Peter told him to " Beat it, Just beat it".

[hunger]

You can say what you like about Jackson, but he always knew when it was time for bed...when the big hand was on the little hand

[nofuture]

What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and Michael Jackson ? Alex Ferguson will be playing Giggs in August.

[mistress_medusa]

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Jacko's ghost has already been sighted in a childrens hospital. Looks like he will continue to try and put the willies up small children.

Undertakers have confirmed Micheal Jackson will be recycled not buried. He will be melted down into lego blocks so the children can play with him for a change.

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Because there are twenty of them.

When the paramedics turned up at MJs house. They try the defibrillator on him but it didnt work. Just goes to prove that white men cant jump!

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven god said to her "You've had a very good life i'm going to grant you one wish of anything you want." Farrah replies "I would really like for all the little children of the world to be safe from harm"

What is the difference between M Jackson and zits? zits wait until after you are 12 years old to come all over your face....

The news micheal jackson died from a heart attack is complete rubbish. the truth is he died from food poisoning. he was said to have eaten 12 year old nuts.

On seeing MJ dead the doctor said "last time he saw Michael Jackson that stiff was when he was in bed with Mcauley Culkin"

Apparently they found class A drugs in the living room, class B drugs in the kitchen and class 4C in his bedroom.

Plice says MJ's death looks suspicious. The're currently looking for a smooth crimanal, he could be black or white but he's definitlly bad and dangerous. They got finger prints of the wall and they say there was a man in the mirror, so he has to be there. They would like Ben and Billy jean to come forward but they don't wanna be starting something, police say they don't stop till they get enough as they found blood on the dance floor, it's going to be a tough case but they will beat it. Police say it's a real thriller.

These may be just funny because I am stoned :p

[hunger]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h1euQKJsr4&feature=fvst

[pedsi]

Q...What was blue, 4ft long and lay at the bottom of Michael Jacksons bed?


















A...McAuley Culkins jeans.

[burnttoast]

They're now saying Jackson may have died from complications due to food poisoning......not surprising if you gobble 8 year old weiners.

[gripit]

I heard the Michael Jackson Estate is producing a commemorative aged whiskey..........cums in 12 year olds :eek:

[burnttoast]

News reports say two Jackson funerals will take place next week...one for Michael......and the other for Tito's career.

[accuracy]

http://homepage.ntlworld.com/jeccysden/b3ta/face-meltjacko.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/13b059438ec85bb15076/jackson.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/83eb5a530de2090d7838/michaelsnose1.gif

[accuracy]

http://heady.co.uk/b3ta/mjtoast.jpg

[accuracy]

http://myimgs.net/images/rafm.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/a609ede35986cfd048a1/jacko-toe-tag.jpg

[accuracy]

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/5879/jackob.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/31388f98f352a9285015/mjdead.gif

[accuracy]

http://www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/jackson.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/ad00c9d839b7d1772d52/stairwaytoneverland.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.vash.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Pics/jackoperrin.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/74ab07594148489da262/chimpjacked4.gif

[accuracy]

http://www.mushybees.com/jacko.gif

[nofuture]

http://static.guim.co.uk/Guardian/music/gallery/2008/aug/27/michael.jackson.50th.birthday/GD1780593Banksylr-2340.jpg

Banksy:D

[accuracy]

One of my email correspondent asked me not to send anymore pics, so i just
told her to remove me from her mailing list. :D:D

[notmarkk]

Michael Jackson's upcoming UK dates have been cancelled.

They were Darren (aged 14) and Thomas (aged 15)...


:p


hahaha LOL good one

[cornilouse]

janet jackson has given a press conference to dismiss claims that micheal died from picking his nose and eating it, she said "micheal died of a massive heart attack, and we shouldn't blame on the bogey"

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/83eb5a530de2090d7838/michaelsnose1.gif

So you claim............................................. ..cornilouse

[accuracy]

MJ is a freak!

[nofuture]

Bit of a coincidence Farrah Fawcett and Jacko died on the same day....one played with majors the other played with minors.

[cafetimes1991]

I just think this is funny:

http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/funny-pictures-michael-jackson-thriller-cat.jpg

[turquoisefire777]

this morning i walked into the bank and got hold of one of those phrased recycled plastic pens they give away for free, it said:

-i used to be micheal jackson-

[charles d ward]

I just heard on the news that Michael Jacksons body will not be cremated.
Apparantly he´s made of 85% plastic so he will be recycled into Lego. The kids will still be able to play with him. Yay!

[cafetimes1991]

http://www.gunandgame.com/forums/attachments/humor-forum/3025d1069458647-michael-jackson-police-station-cartoon-michael-jackson-police-station.jpg

[cafetimes1991]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/amc0813l.jpg

[slodave]

fameous last words, " take me to the childrens hospital"

[majix]

since they found a bag of mixed lilies.
it has now been reviled by the coroner that Michael Jackson was not on 9 different drugs. :D

[hunger]

since they found a bag of mixed lilies.
it has now been reviled by the coroner that Michael Jackson was not on 9 different drugs. :D

Huh? :confused:

[accuracy]

http://www.b3tards.com/u/0fa840ebe7d1345798bd/heaven.jpg

[accuracy]

http://www.b3ta.cr3ation.co.uk/data/jpg/konspiration.jpg

[brainfreeze]

I've heard quite a few of late.

That he's alive, he's been seen in a cloud, his ghost is wondering around Wander...oops....Neverland, and the last time he was seen he was running late with a little girl and a big white rabbit.

[henryv]

What's worse than letting Michael Jackson put the kids to bed?

Letting Ian Huntley give them a bath.



What's brown and can be found in babies diapers?

Michael Jackson's hand.


Why did Michael jackson go to Newmarket?

He wanted to ride three year olds.

[krakhead]

:D

[moondancer]

:D

:D that made me laugh krackers krackpot

I had about 15 mj joke texts (felt like 15000) from one person I know and in the end I replied with...

yeah alright mate, i get the message... he was one of my fav singers.. im totally gutted :eek:

ha ;):p

[krakhead]

:D that made me laugh krackers krackpot

I had about 15 mj joke texts (felt like 15000) from one person I know and in the end I replied with...

yeah alright mate, i get the message... he was one of my fav singers.. im totally gutted :eek:

ha ;):p

Killjoy! :p

[moondancer]

Killjoy! :p

it was just tooo much krackers! :eek: :p