Feeling Panicky

[lostinstrangeworld]

I've been feeling slightly anxious/ claustrophobic since getting back from the last meet-up....nothing too serious, just a little bit, in the morning usually.

I just got this letter in the post today to inform me that I am no longer entitled to incapacity benefit which I was claiming for stress/ depression. I was only just managing to survive on that what with bills and rent (I live on my own). So I have applied for JSA but it usually takes several weeks to get anything while they process it. So I'm worried about bills mounting up with bank charges, etc. I could probably just about afford to pay the bills with the JSA but would need extra to live on. Maybe I could go out and forage? :)

Anyway, I could start another thread all about that....about these "medical" questionnaires people have to go to which is just a scheme for the government to get as many people as possible off benefits....and my thoughts concerning other people in situations like me who haven't been trying the natural things I have lately that have been helping....as well as the extremely positive upliftment from the energy at the David Icke meet-up....these people who haven't had these things to help them who are in a similar situation to me could be driven to suicide now. I wonder how many will? :(


But the reason I am starting this thread is more to vent and maybe ask for help concerning this terrible panicky feeling I'm feeling inside right now, this evening. Typing this is already helping a bit.
I brought up the money situation to explain that this has probably triggered these feelings to become more acute whereas before they were relatively mild.

Of course, there are things I can indeed do about my situation....I'm going to go out there and see what I can do about surviving over the next few weeks and I'm going to do all I can to find work...as I feel I can probably cope with work now anyway (since the natural supplements have kicked in and since thinking more positively).

But still, I can't help but feel tearful and hopeless in other ways.
Being stuck in a poverty trap and in a dead end job.
And loneliness.
Loneliness.
The meaninglessness of existence when every day a heart that longs for companionship, affection, etc.....just has to survive....day after day on its own.
I know that sounds co-dependant.
I know many of you will want to advise me on something wise you've read that could help me see things differently.
But at the end of the day I am human, experiencing this physical reality, needing something physical to help remember that I am not separate but one.

I want to die; I hate this reality.
But I know I can't do that.

It hurts so much.
this feeling of being separate.

It really hurts.

[2013]

But at the end of the day I am human, experiencing this physical reality, needing something physical to help remember that I am not separate but one.

I want to die; I hate this reality.
But I know I can't do that.

It hurts so much.
this feeling of being separate.

It really hurts.

Have you thought that perhaps being infinate and one while uplifting can be boring in a highly spiritual way of course . So perhaps this is why you have chosen this experience to encounter duality and seperation in order to apprecite oneness more fully .Whereas we experience time in a linear fashion and in slow 3d it may only be a twinkling of an eye in your true realm !:D

[size_of_light]

But the reason I am starting this thread is more to vent and maybe ask for help concerning this terrible panicky feeling I'm feeling inside right now, this evening. Typing this is already helping a bit.
I brought up the money situation to explain that this has probably triggered these feelings to become more acute whereas before they were relatively mild.

...

But still, I can't help but feel tearful and hopeless in other ways.
Being stuck in a poverty trap and in a dead end job.
And loneliness.
Loneliness.
The meaninglessness of existence when every day a heart that longs for companionship, affection, etc.....just has to survive....day after day on its own.
I know that sounds co-dependant.
I know many of you will want to advise me on something wise you've read that could help me see things differently.
But at the end of the day I am human, experiencing this physical reality, needing something physical to help remember that I am not separate but one.

I want to die; I hate this reality.
But I know I can't do that.

It hurts so much.
this feeling of being separate.

It really hurts.

You know you have friends here.

I know those panicky feelings and that deep sense of loneliness and stress. So do many, many people on this forum and all over the world.

Know that you're loved and breathe.

And breathe.

You're only a keystroke away from all of us, although it doesn't feel the same as having somebody with you.

But we're here.

Hang in there. :)

[wildhorse]

Oh I have been where you are and yes you know what the real slave department are like...hence why you feel paniky...

they dont give a shit about lil things like rent or bills or food even...no...you wait two fucking months and dont moan bitch... (i wasnt calling ya a bitch btw..lol)

I would try the bank for a decent sized overdraught, just to tide you over, then I would try and find a lil cash in hand job and fuck em.

I know its hard on their 'wages' to live - it can be done if nothing crops up, but its not reassuring to know when something does

having said that 40hours a week after all is creamed off you doesnt pull much more money in than being on the rock n roll :rolleyes:

Like you, I am so fucking sick of this reality with its shit, and I want out...but guess youre hear for a reason hun!

stick with it, you will get through it

[wildhorse]

ps...boosting ya ;)

[tusme]

Hey Lostinstrangeworld...

Please, don't let the negative energy get the better of you...!?

You know you have friends here...!! We all love you...!!

Stay strong, ignore that "panicky" negative energy...

All the best...!!

[lostinstrangeworld]

Just want to say thank you to everyone for your support.

Maybe now is the time for me to learn how to live on sunlight and then things will be ok. :D

I wish I lived in a country where the climate was suitable for camping all year round...I love being outdoors. I like being in a house for the creature comforts, etc (especially hot water).....but sometimes four walls also feel like a prison.....

[lostinstrangeworld]

Maybe I should just hand my notice in and make myself homeless.
That way I can use the deposit money to pay off a bit of money I'm worrying about on a credit card (not as much as some people, but enough to cause me problems; interest going up on it in August). Secondly I'll be able to afford to eat. Thirdly I can't become a slave to the system if I've nowhere to live.

I don't know what's worse....sleeping on the streets or being trapped in mind numbing monotonous routine for 40 hours a week, come home, feel too tired to do anything but too lonely to sleep....then start the routine all over again the next day.

[simplify]

Maybe I should just hand my notice in and make myself homeless.
That way I can use the deposit money to pay off a bit of money I'm worrying about on a credit card (not as much as some people, but enough to cause me problems; interest going up on it in August). Secondly I'll be able to afford to eat. Thirdly I can't become a slave to the system if I've nowhere to live.

I don't know what's worse....sleeping on the streets or being trapped in mind numbing monotonous routine for 40 hours a week, come home, feel too tired to do anything but too lonely to sleep....then start the routine all over again the next day.

would you consider having a room-mate, if you have space? It would be some company for you. Alternatively, you could give up your place & move in to share with others. Sometimes, an elderly lady would like someone to live in with them in exchange for light house work & companionship. Just some options, that might help to break the cycle you are currently in & give you some breathing space & time to re-group.

[lostinstrangeworld]

would you consider having a room-mate, if you have space? It would be some company for you. Alternatively, you could give up your place & move in to share with others. Sometimes, an elderly lady would like someone to live in with them in exchange for light house work & companionship. Just some options, that might help to break the cycle you are currently in & give you some breathing space & time to re-group.

I do have space, and yes.

Good thoughts.
I might try ringing up the credit card bank to try to explain that I can't pay my bill as will have no money coming in for about 2 months as I wait for the JSA. I'll have to ring up the gas/ elec company too. But it will probably be a waist of time as these companies don't have any involvement in morality/ ethics...psychopathic/ pyramid mentalities....live and let die and all that.

I might try and sell a couple of things on ebay and think about doing a long fast which might do me some good/ help me lose unwanted weight (I just hope I don't end up putting more back on afterward, after slowing the metabolism down).

[lostinstrangeworld]

Omg, Michael Jackson died of a heart attack yesterday.

I wonder if what I was feeling was being mirrored in many others, including him. :(

<3

[ormy]

I do have space, and yes.

Good thoughts.
I might try ringing up the credit card bank to try to explain that I can't pay my bill as will have no money coming in for about 2 months as I wait for the JSA. I'll have to ring up the gas/ elec company too. But it will probably be a waist of time as these companies don't have any involvement in morality/ ethics...psychopathic/ pyramid mentalities....live and let die and all that.

I might try and sell a couple of things on ebay and think about doing a long fast which might do me some good/ help me lose unwanted weight (I just hope I don't end up putting more back on afterward, after slowing the metabolism down).

Why not try the new DI tongue spray diet:D

[armoured_amazon]

But still, I can't help but feel tearful and hopeless in other ways.
Being stuck in a poverty trap and in a dead end job.
And loneliness.
Loneliness.
The meaninglessness of existence when every day a heart that longs for companionship, affection, etc.....just has to survive....day after day on its own...at the end of the day I am human, experiencing this physical reality, needing something physical to help remember that I am not separate but one.

I want to die; I hate this reality.
But I know I can't do that.

It hurts so much.
this feeling of being separate.

It really hurts.

I hear ya *hug*

[2013]

I do have space, and yes.

Good thoughts.
I might try ringing up the credit card bank to try to explain that I can't pay my bill as will have no money coming in for about 2 months as I wait for the JSA. I'll have to ring up the gas/ elec company too. But it will probably be a waist of time as these companies don't have any involvement in morality/ ethics...psychopathic/ pyramid mentalities....live and let die and all that.

I might try and sell a couple of things on ebay and think about doing a long fast which might do me some good/ help me lose unwanted weight (I just hope I don't end up putting more back on afterward, after slowing the metabolism down).

If you pay by direct debit ring the utility companies up and tell them the score.Explain that until your cash flow improves they will have to reduce monthly payments. Once you are sorted they can go back up. Tell them if they dont agree to that youwill have to cancel and they wont get any money as you will likely end up homeless , they dont know that .Also if you had credit card debt before 2007 it can be written off . Not sure about details check it out or post in forum asking advice .We have to deal with practical shit so may as well do a good job of it .:D

[existenz]

And loneliness.
Loneliness.
The meaninglessness of existence when every day a heart that longs for companionship, affection, etc.....just has to survive....day after day on its own.
I know that sounds co-dependant.
I know many of you will want to advise me on something wise you've read that could help me see things differently.
But at the end of the day I am human, experiencing this physical reality, needing something physical to help remember that I am not separate but one.

I want to die; I hate this reality.
But I know I can't do that.

It hurts so much.
this feeling of being separate.

It really hurts.

i wanted to respond cause you described how i feel so well. the feeling of being seperate, not belonging anywhere, hunger for love and the loneliness. Ironic thing this talk about being one and connected and all. I can only feel as one when i'm alone. It's when i'm in company of people i realize i just don't belong.

[armoured_amazon]

I can only feel as one when i'm alone. It's when i'm in company of people i realize i just don't belong.

Quoted for truth.

[simplysimon]

Hmm, I think we're getting these kind of feelings because we know there is a better way :)

All we need to do now, is bring that to humanity and become a shining example of how it can be. Let's not fall into the trap of being human.

[tusme]

Just want to say thank you to everyone for your support.

Maybe now is the time for me to learn how to live on sunlight and then things will be ok. :D

I wish I lived in a country where the climate was suitable for camping all year round...I love being outdoors. I like being in a house for the creature comforts, etc (especially hot water).....but sometimes four walls also feel like a prison.....
Hey LISW,

Good to see you're no longer "feeding the negative energy"...!! ;) http://www.davidicke.com/forum/images/icons/icon14.gif

Connect (as far back as you can remember) with all the energy, that you think, could be the origins of these feelings, and also the energy, ie, your Spirit (Truth) energy, you could have used to do things differently...then, do what needs to be done, so as to rid yourself completely of such negative energy...

Meditate on just being still, and allow your Spirit (Truth) energy to observe all those energies...

It may take some time, depending on your determination to rid yourself of such negative energies...but, while you're physically doing that, your Spirit (Truth) energy (through meditation) will ensure the balance of your energy vibrational frequencies are in synch...and, out of that, your new reality of infinite possibility, Love & freedom will be borne...!!

All that is necessary then, is to keep nurturing that reality/experience through meditation...by simply being still with your Spirit energy...!!

You Spirit is bursting to experience the highest form of itself, through your Physical being, LISW...what are you waiting for...!? :)

All the best & good luck!! ;) :)

[wildhorse]

lostworld - dont even worry about paying off that credit card scam...

get to the CAB (cit advice) and they will have you paying a £1 a MONTH to any debtors... dont worry about it...fuck em...they fucked you with their greed.

you come first not their phoney 'money' that doesnt exist...

;)

[lostinstrangeworld]

i wanted to respond cause you described how i feel so well. the feeling of being seperate, not belonging anywhere, hunger for love and the loneliness. Ironic thing this talk about being one and connected and all. I can only feel as one when i'm alone. It's when i'm in company of people i realize i just don't belong.

I know that feeling.
Hugs to you.

[arty2000]

I know that feeling.
Hugs to you.

love to you my friend:)

[banphrionsalola]

hi lostinastrangeworld i missed you at the meet up last week but your precense was definitely felt by me. you had such a beautiful energy about you i wished i could have talked to you but i hope our paths cross again. i'll send you some healing this weekend if you don't mind. take care you only have to read the posts to see how much people really care about you. i hope everything works out for you. blessings xxx

[lostinstrangeworld]

hi lostinastrangeworld i missed you at the meet up last week but your precense was definitely felt by me. you had such a beautiful energy about you i wished i could have talked to you but i hope our paths cross again. i'll send you some healing this weekend if you don't mind. take care you only have to read the posts to see how much people really care about you. i hope everything works out for you. blessings xxx

Such kind words. :o

[lostinstrangeworld]

Why not try the new DI tongue spray diet:D

What an impish remark! Made me laugh, cheers.
:D

[lostinstrangeworld]

Well, I've rang up utility companies and they are going to give me extra time next month to pay my bills, so that's good news.

I rang up a debt helpline and they advised me to write a letter to my credit card providers to ask them to reduce the amount I'm paying off and to freeze the interest until I find a job.....so that's worth a try. So if anyone reading this is in a similar situation, you could do the same. Large amounts of debt can be written off with bankruptcy, etc...the amount I owe is relatively small but still quite a burden with the budget I'm on....the worst thing is the interest; means its impossible to get on top of it. I thought at the time I'd just do another interest free balance transfer when the time came, but not possible now.

I was told that the JSA should only take 2 weeks to process....I'm hoping for the best.....

[relentless]

You need to stop kissing rats...

I send you a kiss now, I know those feelings it hurts.

[lostinstrangeworld]

You need to stop kissing rats...

I send you a kiss now, I know those feelings it hurts.

Thanks:)

[hey_jude]

Lost... I wrote to my Credit Card Company and told them to shove it.

If your CC was taken out pre 2007 you don't have a contract and it is unenforceable in a court.

I have not paid since Dec 2008 and I asked them to produce a contract and they can't ...so, no court letters and I can easily handle the calls [answerphone] and 2 visits [shout eff off] hahahaaaa :D seriously you should checkout the Freeman Forum ...empowerment! The CC scams are unlawful :)

[lostinstrangeworld]

Lost... I wrote to my Credit Card Company and told them to shove it.

If your CC was taken out pre 2007 you don't have a contract and it is unenforceable in a court.

I have not paid since Dec 2008 and I asked them to produce a contract and they can't ...so, no court letters and I can easily handle the calls [answerphone] and 2 visits [shout eff off] hahahaaaa :D seriously you should checkout the Freeman Forum ...empowerment! The CC scams are unlawful :)

Thanks for the advice.

I took out one of them in 2008 unfortunately; the one with the largest amount on it. However, I think the other one was taken out before, I'm not sure if it was before 2007. There's not that much on that one though. I don't know if not paying that one would be worth the hassle/ bailiff threats etc.