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typenicknamehere
21-06-2009, 03:43 AM
you know somtimes somthing will happen to me or I find myself in a situation where I will over analyse a moment in order to help somone else who I sense is feeling uncomfortable because of a situation that iv either created or not created.

This happens to me from time to time but the most blatant and maybe more complicated example happened to me yesterday, I need to also mention so to justify my reactions that in the suburbs that I live in there are many african imagrants, my suburb's area is also classed as below average in terms of employment and education amongs the residents here and has a pretty big rate for small crimes like juveniles who steel and such nothing major, none of these crimes from what I can see are contributed by these imagrants ,infact they appreciate living here despite the conditions as I suspect they came from a worse environment but im only speculating.

I was at a subway yesterday and as I walked in a tall african teen maybe 18-21 was having a meal made for him, by the time I was paying for my meal he was sitting down a few meters away from me enjoying his. I paid with a card and wanted to place the card back in my wallet but could not find it, I looked all over the counter and the staff and such helped but we could not locate it, the moment became a "situation" when the staff memeber serving me looked over at the boy eating his meal but this happend simultaneous as the boy also looked over to see what was happening as if the three of us were now involved in helping me find my wallet.

Now here is where my over analysing of any given situation begins ,because the boy was now involved I asked him for no other reason than to just be friendly, if he had seen a wallet on the counter ,BUT in the act of doing somthing that simple I felt like he was involving himself simply to not come across as a suspect who may have taken my wallet, I knew without a doubt that he did not take my wallet but I felt he was uncomfortable and that I may be accusing him by simply asking him If he had seen my wallet, I know the staff member did not have this kind of compassion or that she did not have this kind of complex and over calculating of the situation but I could be wrong.

You see, I would expect him to completley underestimate me by just being human I would not expect him to know what was going on in my head ,because of all this I left the shop and made a conscious effort to put him at ease by saying a thank you ,I dont even know why someone would thank someone else for just simply enquiring about a missing wallet but I guess if he could see that I thanked him then I could not have accused him at the same time.

I know some of you are thinking ,"jeez man relax your over thinking" but this is how my whole life is when interacting with others, dont get me wrong this kind of thing dosnt happen on a daily basis its just when im in a particular moment, it does attract unwated friendships because I tend to be more compassionate and understanting than others its kind of comical but I do get insecure new staff members who feel comfortable around me or the loner or oddball who feels they can identify with me and I put it down to this constant over compensating in order to make others feel better ,I dont mean to toot my own horn here but its just how it is with me, I know that people at least on this board know what im talking about or have found themselves in a similar circumstance.

flickflack
21-06-2009, 09:29 AM
You see, I would expect him to completley underestimate me by just being human I would not expect him to know what was going on in my head ,because of all this I left the shop and made a conscious effort to put him at ease by saying a thank you ,I dont even know why someone would thank someone else for just simply enquiring about a missing wallet but I guess if he could see that I thanked him then I could not have accused him at the same time.









One of the old schools I went on had this graffiti plate on the wall (totally legal, as it was on a plate for that intent). But one day, one of the artist students was styling it and added his new style, and there was this word that I couldn't really read and I was like "what?".
Obviously, this guy believed it was my graffiti and that I felt disappointed. So he asked me if it was okay, and when he asked if the graffiti plate was mine, I said no, but then he started to ask if it was my buddy's plate (he was a distance away and busy so he couldn't hear us) and I tried to explain to the artist that the plate was neither mine nor my buddy's and that I did not comment his doing on the plate to be negative or disregard him. I can not guarantee that he fully understood.
Very shortly afterwards, he asked if there was a pen available (he was kind of asking out in the public, and not me in particular) I handed a pen towards him and he said thanks and I hope he understood by then that I was not at all disappointed with his work and what he was doing. At least, I felt a little better after I had handed him a pen, because if I where mad at him, I would probably not have been seen as the most helpful one at the time, and he gave me a big "thank you" and was sheering up.

Your experience reminded me of mine. That's why I wrote it down. ;)

deem
21-06-2009, 09:45 AM
Did you find your wallet later? or is it still on the missing list? Iv been in those arkward situations too.

typenicknamehere
21-06-2009, 10:00 AM
Did you find your wallet later? or is it still on the missing list

despite the long post the entire thing happend in about 5-10 min I found the wallet after 5-10 mins ,stupid thing was that I never brought it into the shop ,I removed my card from my wallet when I was in the car about to go into subway and just left my wallet in the car.