View Full Version : What Jesus Said
rob menard
13-05-2009, 12:37 AM
Using high tech computers, intuitive translation software, AI programing, a series of extrapolated and converging algorithms, and a healthy amount of scientific conjecture I have boiled down the message of Jesus Christ to it's most basic and currently socially and linguistically understandable message.
It is This:
" I am the Bread, The Tuna, and The Other Piece of Bread.
Authorities, Eat Me.
Mayo we all go in peace past the Grey Poop on the sidewalk."
There may be some glitches in the algorithm....
I sure hope they have a sense of humor up there....
bsmurph83
13-05-2009, 07:02 AM
*chuckles*
Rob, you amusing son-of-a-gun, when are you gonna come down to Australia and share your amusing and informative antics with an Australian audience?
PS - Did Jesus not also say "I am the whey and the slice?" Is he not himself the 'bread of life'? (or something like that... clearly I am going to straight to hell...)
malvern
13-05-2009, 09:53 AM
you two should beware ..... look out for the sign of the yeast.... 666, for he will rise.
freedom is the grandchildren we are the caretakers
quetzalcoatl
13-05-2009, 12:45 PM
Yeah..!!! Lift up a piece of toast & behold! He is there.. :rolleyes:
http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x309/Plumed_Serpent/Jesusontoast.jpg
you two should beware ..... look out for the sign of the yeast.... 666, for he will rise.
freedom is the grandchildren we are the caretakers
Ahhahah! das quite funny.. :D
merlincove
13-05-2009, 03:39 PM
Christ also said "Forgive them, Father, for they do know exactly what they have done. They are bastards, and that spear really did hurt...."
And probably other such expletives....
And yeah, i am sure that Jesus has a great sense of humour.
And so, in that case, Rob you might make saint hood yet :-)
hey_jude
13-05-2009, 08:18 PM
I thought Jesus said ...now hands up all who don't like cod in breadcrumbs?
and of course ...Jesus said to Moses ...all Jews shall have long noses, except for Aaron for he shall have a Square n :)
antipharisee
16-04-2010, 10:44 PM
Jesus IS an Anarchist
http://www.anti-state.com/redford/redford4.html
soundthief
16-04-2010, 10:54 PM
verily verily i say unto you...
it seems to me jesus when he spoke of his father meant his financer, and he was trying to get people to join his society(giving someone a different name, the different name being their new PERSONAL name?) since his father was LORD God
and when he explained things to the jews, "but they did not UNDERSTAND" ... stand under?
birth certificate...death certificate...resurrection?
merlincove
16-04-2010, 11:07 PM
verily verily i say unto you...
it seems to me jesus when he spoke of his father meant his financer, and he was trying to get people to join his society(giving someone a different name, the different name being their new PERSONAL name?) since his father was LORD God
and when he explained things to the jews, "but they did not UNDERSTAND" ... stand under?
birth certificate...death certificate...resurrection?
:D
why do we not know Jesus's sir-name?
The man was Jesus, purely, simply THE freeman on his own land, for he was Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph.
He was sovreign (king) in his own land, the perfect light.
why dio we not know Jesus's sir-name?
The man was Jesus, purely, simply THE freeman on his own land, for he was Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph.
He was sovreign (king) in his own land, the perfect light.
Not many surnames in the bible.
It wasnt just jesus
asky
merlincove
16-04-2010, 11:22 PM
Not many surnames in the bible.
It wasnt just jesus
asky
exactly, for behold, verily was common law prevelant in those times.
:D
And also, as is famously documented, the law of state ie statutary law; which was indeed a bastard as the good book does declare.
So, live in peace and harmony and love, without any sir-names, or live under the oppresive state of statutary enforcement where you are hung on a cross till dead......
hmm, let me see, i'll take peace love and harmony please, you can keep the sir-name :D
was common law prevelant in those times.
Common Law
The ancient law of England based upon societal customs and recognized and enforced by the judgments and decrees of the courts. The general body of statutes and case law that governed England and the American colonies prior to the American Revolution.
Errr....No it wasnt
asky
majicdragon
16-04-2010, 11:53 PM
mmm... jesus said to give all that we have to our brothers...
jesus said. "give thy bond which is the approximately ten million dollar bond which is referenced by the number of your birth certificate... to thy brethren, and leave that society.
....you don't need any part of that bond... do you want to be a bondsman, or a freeman?"
and i said, "they probably won't give me the bond anyways"
and jesus said, "that's the spirit"
and i laughed thinking jesus to be most funny.
merlincove
16-04-2010, 11:58 PM
Errr....No it wasnt
asky
So, in jesus's time there was no law that said
Thout shall not steal (ie cause loss)
Thou shalt not murder (ie cause harm)
etc etc?
i think you may find that those laws as given to Moses were around in the time of Jesus and held weight in commonly atribed law.
commonly atribed law = common law :D
Thout shall not steal (ie cause loss)
Thou shalt not murder (ie cause harm)
etc etc?
Thats not "Common Law"
Get yourself a dictionary FFS
How many times are freemen going to misuse the term "Common Law"
asky
merlincove
17-04-2010, 12:10 AM
Thats not "Common Law"
Get yourself a dictionary FFS
How many times are freemen going to misuse the term "Common Law"
asky
it is commonly accepted law, which by definition is common law.
* you said FFS :eek:
I can do far worse than that now I have your permission;)
I have checked with Admin first though :)
asky
girlgye
17-04-2010, 12:23 AM
you two should beware ..... look out for the sign of the yeast.... 666, for he will rise.
freedom is the grandchildren we are the caretakers
hehhehehehehe. :D larf or you may cry. Good to hear from ya kiddo.
girlgye
17-04-2010, 12:24 AM
it is commonly accepted law, which by definition is common law.
* you said FFS :eek:
Fuck off lee spouting his crap. Or your going on ignore. :p
Lee?
Shes now giving out personal information
Naughty girlgye
asky
merlincove
17-04-2010, 12:32 AM
Lee?
asky
all my friends know my name, it is no secret.
i have posted it on the fmotl forums - i am sure you must have seen?
:p
I wouldnt call us friends
Maybe thats why I havent seen it
asky
girlgye
17-04-2010, 12:38 AM
all my friends know my name, it is no secret.
i have posted it on the fmotl forums - i am sure you must have seen?
:p
careful you might come up on an internet 'wanted list'.
girlgye
17-04-2010, 12:40 AM
mmm... jesus said to give all that we have to our brothers...
jesus said. "give thy bond which is the approximately ten million dollar bond which is referenced by the number of your birth certificate... to thy brethren, and leave that society.
....you don't need any part of that bond... do you want to be a bondsman, or a freeman?"
and i said, "they probably won't give me the bond anyways"
and jesus said, "that's the spirit"
and i laughed thinking jesus to be most funny.
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
And we all hailed Jesusua :D
merlincove
17-04-2010, 12:48 AM
that hurts, asky
:D
merlincove
17-04-2010, 12:49 AM
careful you might come up on an internet 'wanted list'.
they think i am a girl :rolleyes:
girlgye
17-04-2010, 01:48 AM
No your'e a bad ass black man with a def curly perm. :D :D :D
thecreator
19-04-2010, 10:00 PM
:D
why do we not know Jesus's sir-name?
The man was Jesus, purely, simply THE freeman on his own land, for he was Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph.
He was sovreign (king) in his own land, the perfect light.
Where did the Christ come from and who put it there?