If Icke saw this...

[celtic isis]

This should be in the rant room but seeing as i can't start a thread there for some reason i'm putting it here.

It's sad how some of you people are. Some of you are wonderful, in fact, most of you are wonderful, and truly beautiful and understanding souls.

Sadly there are some people on here who think they are superior to the rest of us and are literally stuck in their own illusion. And that is the only illusion.

I don't know what i ever did to have comments like i have gotten, and how i could be labelled a troll by tinmenace (and she really is a menace in the true sense of the word) i'll never know, after all the stuff i used to share on here.


Anyway i'm not coming on as much now cause i have personal crap going on in my own life.

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I only live for my fiancé. Only for him i would be dead.

Anyway i don't care anymore.

Just i don't know what i did to be singled out on here like this.

Loads of people on here have family members who are freemasons FYI so why you want to pick on me is beyond me. Who gives a fuck anyway. We live our lives the best we can. And search for the truth in different places.

For people who believe that everything is just an illusion you sure gt caught up in defending your illusion don"t you? When as icke says himself, believing in anything is just an illusion also.

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

Icke would be disillusioned if he saw how things are here now.

[lottie]

Oh Celtic Isis- whats happened? have i missed something? i didnt realise any of this? i must have missed whats gone on! :confused:

i dont have a problem with the fact you have a FM for a BF- its your posts i read on here not his- ok i dont agree with FM but what business is it of mine- and who am i to judge anyone else? its up to you who you choose to see! You're just at a certain point in your learning path and you'll learn further and change etc...
i think you are a nice person from what limited judgement i can make on your character from your posts on an electronic forum!:D
You sound like you really need a friend at the moment?!

what people think of you is none of your business anyway so dont worry too much! :)

as ive seen over the last few days - people can be very nasty- but if we listen to that tripe we'd all have nervous breakdowns- its not important what people think of you- someone said yesterday-you can know someone so much better by spending ten mins in a room with them than reading 500 of their posts!

take care sweetie x

[i am all i am]

I LOVE YOU.

G'day Celtic Isis.

Something that may be of benefit for you is having a read of 'The Celestine Prophecy' by James Redfield.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51JX1264YYL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg

Amazon.com: The Celestine Prophecy (9780446671002): James Redfield: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51D1CpfhqaL.@@AMEPARAM@@51D1CpfhqaL

From the "search inside this book" section...
Amazon.com: The Celestine Prophecy (9780446671002): James Redfield: Books@@AMEPARAM@@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51D1CpfhqaL.@@AMEPARAM@@51D1CpfhqaL

THANK YOU.



http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S34.gif With LOVE http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S36.gif

[lifeofbrian]

This should be in the rant room but seeing as i can't start a thread there for some reason i'm putting it here.

It's sad how some of you people are. Some of you are wonderful, in fact, most of you are wonderful, and truly beautiful and understanding souls.

Sadly there are some people on here who think they are superior to the rest of us and are literally stuck in their own illusion. And that is the only illusion.

I don't know what i ever did to have comments like i have gotten, and how i could be labelled a troll by tinmenace (and she really is a menace in the true sense of the word) i'll never know, after all the stuff i used to share on here.


Anyway i'm not coming on as much now cause i have personal crap going on in my own life.

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I only live for my fiancé. Only for him i would be dead.

Anyway i don't care anymore.

Just i don't know what i did to be singled out on here like this.

Loads of people on here have family members who are freemasons FYI so why you want to pick on me is beyond me. Who gives a fuck anyway. We live our lives the best we can. And search for the truth in different places.

For people who believe that everything is just an illusion you sure gt caught up in defending your illusion don"t you? When as icke says himself, believing in anything is just an illusion also.

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

Icke would be disillusioned if he saw how things are here now.

Sorry about your mother, celtic isis. I can understand what you must be going through.

One of the side effects of belief is attempt to convince and convert and means used can be very passionate aka nasty.

Funny thing is, there often is an intellectual smugness about people who claim being spiritually advanced. Often it sounds very theoretical to me. Not really grounded and practical. Like the selflessness often is a cover for great selfishness, indirectly.

At some later point I would like to open a thread discussing similarities between various spiritual paths off the general religious tracks as it were - I wonder if some neo-spiritual folks would like to see how much they share with the freemasons in fact. Maybe you would enjoy posting your opinions about that when I get around to it? I would appreciate your input/thoughts, celtic isis.

Again, sorry about your mother. For me what helps in my own time of grieving right now is remembering the fantastic moments and the laughs shared, as well as imagining what the person in question would say to me to make the moments easier to get through. Makes the absence more acute too but I find it a comfort all the same.

Take care, celtic isis. Glad to know you have your boyfriend in your life.

[mk72]

Hi Celtic Isis - Keep strong girl!!!
I lost my dad when I was 19 and my whole world fell apart, I had to become independant overnight. I'm 35 now and I promise you I don't think I would have been the fearless person I feel today if it was not for that. I know you have probably heard this stuff before and you think it's all bullshit but hang in there and you'll see it's true. I hope you're only reason for living is not just your fiance, I hope you were just a bit down. Anyway if I said anything to make you feel that way about yourself in a thread and I don't know about it, I am sorry.

[seanx]

I can understand where you are coming from, Celtic isis in
regard to this whole 'illusion' idea.

I don't think most people fully grasp what dave icke means
when he says that this life is an 'illusion'.

He does not mean it is not real.

He means it is an 'illusion' ONLY in the sense that it's form is
EVER-changing.

Imagine a simple table in front of you.

In one sense, it is real.

Of course it is.

Yes, in the ultimate sense, it is only a sea of pure vibrating energy
that in THIS moment of time, is taking the FORM of a table.

Tomorrow - it could take the form of something else.

Yet it's essence is eternal - the living, conscious vibrating energy
that it is made up of.

So we say the table is an 'illusion' ONLY in the sense that it is
changable. It's not real in the 'eternal sense' - although it's essense
is.

I can understand your fear when people say 'everything is an illusion'
trying to imply that nothing is real.

They are talking crap.

Imagine when you meet your mother again one day.

Her 'form' will have changed (in the next dimension by changing
your beliefs you can change your 'form' - body instantly) but
you'll know her immediately.

I mean which 'form' is your mother? The form she had as a 6 year
old? - as a teenager? - or as a young woman?

The 'form' is an 'illusion' -it can change CONSTANTLY- it's just an
'uniform' she puts on so that communication can take place.

Whatever 'form' she has or YOU will have - you'll know each other
totally.

So when Dave Icke talks about life being an illision it is in that
sense only.

So we shouldn't get too caught up in the day-to-day stuff of life. it is
every-changing.

In fact, he wrote recently about his own mother dying- he knows
he'll meet with her again - although it's likely her 'form' will have
changed.

it seems 35 is the perferred age most woman take in the next
vibratory dimsension . And dave icke's Ma was well into her eighties
when she died.

It's obvious you miss your Ma terribly - can I ask you if you have
ever considered a medium?

I don't know anything about this field - but I do remember reading
about a very good and it seems very genuine Medium - a woman who
is blind from Belfast, not far from you.

I'm sorry I can't remember her name or anything else about her.
Maybe someone on this forum might know about her or do a
internet search.

But she seemed very genuine and gifted.

I hope things work out well for you

[amadeus]

I'm extremely sorry to hear about your mother. When did this happen? I lost my father when I was 19(I'm now 36), but I won't claim that I know how you feel since me and my father were never that close. :(

Funny that I.A.A.I.A mentioned the "Celestine prophecy" book. ;) It's truly an uplifting reading! Did not like the film though, too much had been altered.

I'm also confused about this "it's all an illusion" stuff. I'll have to ponder on the subject a while and get back to you guys on that one. I just might add that the "Infinite love.." book by David that I just finished reading did leave me bewildered. The book left me feeling kind of hopeless, empty and full of questions...anyone else had this experience?

a big hug to you C.I. and take care,

amadeus

[richmick]

This should be in the rant room but seeing as i can't start a thread there for some reason i'm putting it here.

It's sad how some of you people are. Some of you are wonderful, in fact, most of you are wonderful, and truly beautiful and understanding souls.

Sadly there are some people on here who think they are superior to the rest of us and are literally stuck in their own illusion. And that is the only illusion.

I don't know what i ever did to have comments like i have gotten, and how i could be labelled a troll by tinmenace (and she really is a menace in the true sense of the word) i'll never know, after all the stuff i used to share on here.


Anyway i'm not coming on as much now cause i have personal crap going on in my own life.

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I only live for my fiancé. Only for him i would be dead.

Anyway i don't care anymore.

Just i don't know what i did to be singled out on here like this.

Loads of people on here have family members who are freemasons FYI so why you want to pick on me is beyond me. Who gives a fuck anyway. We live our lives the best we can. And search for the truth in different places.

For people who believe that everything is just an illusion you sure gt caught up in defending your illusion don"t you? When as icke says himself, believing in anything is just an illusion also.

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

Icke would be disillusioned if he saw how things are here now.

Yeah, the violin thing tinhead posted after you explaning about your mothers death, was pretty discusting i thought. Someone was showing their true colours, it's a shame many here are colour blind though :rolleyes:. still kissing her fat arse. Oh well, ignore her CS, best thing to do in my opinion. Sorry to here about your mother, i'm sure she is watching over you:)

[infinitely free]

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I am sorry to hear that!

[freespark]

Hi Isis,

I'm sorry to hear what's been happening in your life and to you on this forum...i for one enjoy your posts immensly and have missed you around here. It does not bother me who or what your significant other is, or isn't, so please don't feel you have to leave on account of others. I would certainly miss you if you left. :)

Chin up missy. Your heart is in the right place and that is all that matters to me. x

Oh and what lotti said too. ;) Great post lotts. :D

[freespark]

...Fookin' awesome post...

Nuff said.

:D

[stu30473]

Same here mum went by way of the big C when i was 26 (now 34), hard times, your mind will try you, but you must conquer, you have to keep good thoughts up through all the feelings, you feel numb? If so thats your mind blocking you from trauma, go with it, it helped me. Like a fog in your head that just takes time to clear but in the meantime let it calm you.
If you are into books read "the holographic universe" toward the rear of book, explaining NDE'S (near death experiences) and OBE'S (out of the body experiences) and the so many cases documented in the book, that life does not end. I am completely anti-religious, but not anti-spiritual and some reading will bring you round believe me.
I have been to a psychic for a reading a few years back with my girl for a joint reading for her (brother) and me (mum), my girl got a perfect description and I got one of my work colleagues who died while i was giving cpr to him (major heart attack). There is someting out there we are not allowed to see yet, and for you to ever think of ending it soon while your mum would be looking over and not being able to stop you would be more damaging to both of you.
All the words in this post are true and is coming from heart to heart.
With much concern, Stu.

[limelady]

Here is a big hug from me to you......

((((((((((((((((( celtic )))))))))))))))

Lots of love
Limelady

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/2499/lovelimeoa6.jpg

[chattanova]

I'm really sorry to hear all this celtic:(
It's just too bad to loose your mother at age 25...
I've missed your posts lately but i understand why now...

Better times are coming up my friend:)

[william_mac]

This should be in the rant room but seeing as i can't start a thread there for some reason i'm putting it here.

It's sad how some of you people are. Some of you are wonderful, in fact, most of you are wonderful, and truly beautiful and understanding souls.

Sadly there are some people on here who think they are superior to the rest of us and are literally stuck in their own illusion. And that is the only illusion.

I don't know what i ever did to have comments like i have gotten, and how i could be labelled a troll by tinmenace (and she really is a menace in the true sense of the word) i'll never know, after all the stuff i used to share on here.


Anyway i'm not coming on as much now cause i have personal crap going on in my own life.

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I only live for my fiancé. Only for him i would be dead.

Anyway i don't care anymore.

Just i don't know what i did to be singled out on here like this.

Loads of people on here have family members who are freemasons FYI so why you want to pick on me is beyond me. Who gives a fuck anyway. We live our lives the best we can. And search for the truth in different places.

For people who believe that everything is just an illusion you sure gt caught up in defending your illusion don"t you? When as icke says himself, believing in anything is just an illusion also.

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

Icke would be disillusioned if he saw how things are here now.

Holy shit. You're going to think this is insenstive, but, who GIVES a shit that, oh my god SOMEONE DIED!

I have seen my grandparents on both sides of my family die in front of me. several years ago, in a one year period, 5 of my friends killed themselves, some of them rather gruesomely. I attended all of the viewings. At the same time I saw my friend's little brother get hit by a car, he died later in the hospital, and I also attended that viewing.

My dad is currently dying due to years of smoking and alcohol abuse, and another friend just killed himself by shooting himself in the head while in the passenger seat of a car while his friends were IN the car with him.

I've worked with the people on www.thepassport.org and have seen starving communities, dead children infested with maggots, Maoist chinease killing villagers in the Himilayas for no reason, and other examples of genocide and starvation.

PEOPLE FUCKING DIE, you're mother and father and brothers and sisters will die. But it should, in no way, be enough for you to believe that your life isn't even worth living anymore.

I'm not angry here, I'm trying to get you to realize that I'm 21 years old here, younger than you, and you're speaking about how everything is "not an illusion" but all that has happened is your mother is dead. The problem is, however, that she is dead to YOU and that is not a good thing.

You're mother is not dead, energy can not be created nor destroyed. You're mother is just consciousness, she was around before she was born, and she's around now. That is just how things are.

After being around so much death, I know that everything is an illusion. And so do the people in those downtrodden countries such as Nepal, and regions of India, and the Phillippines. The fact is that death happens, the illusion is that death is destruction, that death is to be fervently mourned, that death is end all be all. Death is not this, death is natural, it is part of life, it is sad to loose loved ones, but there is no reason to let it affect you so horribly. Realize that your mother is simply moveing on, and the shell she was housed in is gone. That shell is no your mother, your mother is your mother, and a little bit of her is in you. Just take happiness in that.

Sorry if people were lashing out on you, I don't know what that is about.

I wasn't lashing out at you. I just don't understand how some people have a family member die, and then they get so devestated over it. Perhaps I am desensitized, in fact I'm certain I am, but there are many more people in the world who are so much worse off than you are. And I get a little...angry at first, because when I know these other families, and then people are talking about how their life is "falling apart" or something, I just snap and I think "what are you talking about! There is no way your life can be falling apart! There is no reason for you to be sad! You don't know anything about how your life really could fall apart!"

So, please forgive my roughness around the edges on death, it just doesn't effect the way it does others, but this has been my way of trying to encourage you to be happier with this time. So, I don't know if I did a good job, but I was trying to explain that you have a lot of good things going for you, please don't loose your understanding and faith in goodness because of a death.



-William

[kooo]

We have a psychopath in our midst.

[i am all i am]

We have a psychopath in our midst.

I LOVE YOU.

That's the way Kooo, confession is good for the soul and will help you to heal your psychosis.

THANK YOU.



http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S34.gif With LOVE http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S36.gif

[kooo]

I LOVE YOU.

[B][SIZE="2"][COLOR="Magenta"]That's the way Kooo, confession is good for the soul and will help you to heal your psychosis.



What ARE you talking about?

Is it because I defended James777 on your 'Fucking Christianity' thread? Oh dear, have I hurt your feelings? Diddums.

[i am all i am]

What ARE you talking about?

Is it because I defended James777 on your 'Fucking Christianity' thread? Oh dear, have I hurt your feelings? Diddums.

I LOVE YOU.

G'day Kooo.

A tad defensive there.

If it wasn't a self confession, then who were you referring to ???

THANK YOU.



http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S34.gif With LOVE http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S36.gif

[intuition]

I lost my mum to cancer at 26 and im 32 now.Ive only just come to terms with it after 5 years of alcohol abuse , the odd drug, losing my house, packing in brilliant jobs, and blowing £150,000 on nothing.Also i lost friends , lost self respect , got controlled and abused by people, had post traumatic stress disorder and other problems including creating various sub personalitys like dissasiotive idendity disorder.At one point i didnt even know who my mum was!. Im now nearly recovered and i have very limited memory of the last 5 years.For example i lived at a friends for 6 months and cant even remember that they had cats or which room i slept in! lol.
I wish life was an illusion!
Anywayz good luck and keep good friends close

[kooo]

I LOVE YOU.

G'day Kooo.

A tad defensive there.

If it wasn't a self confession, then who were you referring to ???

THANK YOU.



http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S34.gif With LOVE http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S36.gif

I was referring to that 21 year old psychopath called William you idiot. I don't like people who undermine other peoples feelings when members of their family die. This is something I am very passionate about so if you want a row I'm up for one. If not, then fuck off and take that idiotic signature with you you new age cunnus.

[william_mac]

I was referring to that 21 year old psychopath called William you idiot. I don't like people who undermine other peoples feelings when members of their family die. This is something I am very passionate about so if you want a row I'm up for one. If not, then fuck off and take that idiotic signature with you you new age cunnus.

It wasn't my intention to undermine. It was my intention to put things in perspective. Things could be a lot worse, and things are for many people. I've bore witness to these things, and in light of this that person should take solace in her infinitely more prime situation.



-William

[i am all i am]

I was referring to that 21 year old psychopath called William you idiot. I don't like people who undermine other peoples feelings when members of their family die. This is something I am very passionate about so if you want a row I'm up for one. If not, then fuck off and take that idiotic signature with you you new age cunnus.

I LOVE YOU.

G'day Kooo.

Mmmmmm...so who's feelings did you say where hurt, diddums ???

Thanks for sharing your opinion, judgements and labels that you are so casually throwing around at others. Maybe you could stop beating around the bush and come out and tell us all what you really think.

If you are feeling the need to target somebody and have a "row", go right ahead. I know who I am and your words are merely a self description, as you obviously do not know me at all.

THANK YOU.



http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S34.gif With LOVE http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/3/3D_emoticon_S36.gif

[seanx]

To William Mac

Your post is out of order.

Granted with your experiences, it makes sense to you.

But most people would not have had those experiences- and to
make such comments -'get over it' can only be hurful.

The end of your post was very insightful - it's a pity about your
attitiude.

[lifeofbrian]

Our life experiences are relative in comparison, but to use that idea in order to decimate the pain a person might feel over a loss is not ethical.

We try our best to comfort. Some of us decide to go through the pain and loss though, rather than run away from it with a philosophy book in our hand.

There is nothing wrong with feelings. The ability to feel and empathise is what makes us human beings.

[william_mac]

To William Mac

Your post is out of order.

Granted with your experiences, it makes sense to you.

But most people would not have had those experiences- and to
make such comments -'get over it' can only be hurful.

The end of your post was very insightful - it's a pity about your
attitiude.

I was worried about that. I attempted to clear things up towards the end of my post, but I hope that perhaps this will help clear things up.

I did get a tad bit angry at the beginning, which spurned my response, this was because I initially considered the person unthankfull for her position. However, please let it be known that my anger was not contempt for the Celtic Isis's situation or the her reaction to it, it was anger towards her current inability to realize that she is indeed very well off, despite her illusion of despair and the idea that she has nothing to live for due to this position.

I wanted to illustrate that if I can go through so many deaths, as a person who is even younger than her, and keep going on in life because of my acceptance and understanding of death, then she can indeed recover fully herself, and retain her optimisim on the world.

I do believe I did have the wrong attitude at first. I apologize for that, but my personality is such that I strike down with rather cutting words anything I deem as un-truth as a sort of innate shock tool to make people less self involved and more aware of the broader world around them. But, I always have to end up more softly explaining that. This is something I do because of my upbringing, and it's hard to get away from. So, for that, I apologize.

I hope that this clears up what I meant, and shows that I had the best intentions. I want people to always remember there is a bigger "fish" out there, if you will.



-William-Mac.com

[lifeofbrian]

WM,
good clarification.
you seem a decent enough fellow to me, like celtic isis seems decent in her way. 'Desensitised' (your word) maybe, but not insensitive when it comes down to it. Sounds to me you are very strong/hardened, and like most; we apply our own standards to other people. 'If I can handle it, why can't you.' Well, we are not 'one', thankfully.

We also are conditioned in western society to believe death is unnatural. So is pain, discomfort, agony, distress, crisis, and loss. There is a pill or self-help book for all of those things which other people used to be a remedy for.

Funny that. Life is. I reckon people need to be there for other people. You have seen too much for your age in my opinion. Hopefully your future will consist of less tragedy and misery.

[john white]

After being around so much death, I know that everything is an illusion. And so do the people in those downtrodden countries such as Nepal, and regions of India, and the Phillippines. The fact is that death happens, the illusion is that death is destruction, that death is to be fervently mourned, that death is end all be all. Death is not this, death is natural, it is part of life, it is sad to loose loved ones, but there is no reason to let it affect you so horribly. Realize that your mother is simply moveing on, and the shell she was housed in is gone. That shell is no your mother, your mother is your mother, and a little bit of her is in you. Just take happiness in that.


You are absolutely right and this is absolutely true, and this is in part becuase people who have not been enmired in consummerism and materilaity have maintained a stronger connection with spirit

In the truly healthy human community, tears are fine at times of death, but they are tears of Joy and Bon voyage, not misery and self pity

[indigo]

Hi Celtic Isis.

I'm sorry you are feeling so shit at the moment. It is just a grieving phase and it will pass, It won't pass quickly it will take some time, but time is a great healer. (me and my cliches;)) The hurt that you feel now will be overtaken by all the good memories....in time. And the good memories far outweigh the hurt, It really does...

I was with Celtic Isis on another forum and she is the most genuine person you could ever know (cyberly of course) And gave great advice to those who had lost loved ones. A very kind and caring person who is feeling a bit vulnerable at the moment and will be lifted by all the caring comments on here.

I hope you stay on this forum celtic, because you put some really informative links up and I'm sure i'm not the only one who loves reading them. It was you who brought me here;)

I don't belive everything is an illusion, no way. It takes someone who has felt REAL pain to know what we are experiening is REAL, thats for sure........Also having had OBE's, I know the soul carries on after death. Take comfort in that celtic....Your mum would be proud of you:)

[i_am]

celtic isis I feel for you for your loss. There is no one set way to grieve or any set time. Only time will make the pain go away and for everyone that time is different.

William, I do understand totally what you were saying, albeit in a rather insensitive way. I know you meant well.

The thing about grieving is, we are not grieving for the one who has departed. We are grieving for ourselves. OUR life has changed forever and while we know that death is merely a transition, we are the ones left behind and whose life, in this mortal form, has changed forever. Some of us cope better with that than others.

That is the reality of the illusion :)

Love to all of you

PS: So please, guys, stop arguing on this thread and trampling on someone's grief. If you have a problem with someone, could you take it private. Celtic has bared her soul here so let's just have some compassion.

[reptileslayer]

This should be in the rant room but seeing as i can't start a thread there for some reason i'm putting it here.

It's sad how some of you people are. Some of you are wonderful, in fact, most of you are wonderful, and truly beautiful and understanding souls.

Sadly there are some people on here who think they are superior to the rest of us and are literally stuck in their own illusion. And that is the only illusion.

I don't know what i ever did to have comments like i have gotten, and how i could be labelled a troll by tinmenace (and she really is a menace in the true sense of the word) i'll never know, after all the stuff i used to share on here.


Anyway i'm not coming on as much now cause i have personal crap going on in my own life.

I'm only twenty five years old and had my mother who was my best friend die on me ok, sometimes i feel life isn't even worth living anymore my family has fallen apart so much now.

I only live for my fiancé. Only for him i would be dead.

Anyway i don't care anymore.

Just i don't know what i did to be singled out on here like this.

Loads of people on here have family members who are freemasons FYI so why you want to pick on me is beyond me. Who gives a fuck anyway. We live our lives the best we can. And search for the truth in different places.

For people who believe that everything is just an illusion you sure gt caught up in defending your illusion don"t you? When as icke says himself, believing in anything is just an illusion also.

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.

Icke would be disillusioned if he saw how things are here now.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother hunny, i've not been on this forum very long but i've read a few of your posts, and they are valuable to us, all here on the forum, don't worry about a few people on the forum hun, they are just inmature souls who have to grow. I hope to see more of your posts on here, as i think you are a very nice caring person. Love Anthony (reptileslayer)

[i am all i am]

I LOVE YOU.

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THANK YOU.



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[i am all i am]

I LOVE YOU.

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THANK YOU.



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[i am all i am]

I LOVE YOU.

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THANK YOU.



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[i am all i am]

I LOVE YOU.

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THANK YOU.



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[phoebe]

Spam anybody?

[lifeofbrian]

I LOVE YOU.

THANK YOU.

Pages from Celestine Prophecy.

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The author of CP James Redfield does not even know there is a city at the bottom of Lake Titicaca.

'Andes' my foot.

He wants your money, that's all. Giving you 'spirituality' for the price of a book.

Listen to David Icke: Walk Away.

[phoebe]

Why people give themselves over completely to a information contained in any book baffles me completely.
It's just a BOOK.
Words on paper.
And it's fictional at that...

[nickatnoon61]

"The thing about grieving is, we are not grieving for the one who has departed."
Spot on I_AM! We all go thru the experience sooner or later.Me, being Irish decent, I hope they have a terrific wake/celebration for her mother's transition....

[cheeb]

hello celtic isis,
compared to most people here I am probably spiritually retarded,
(poor me according to the celestine prophecies)
but i have felt greif recently,
Its quite a chocking(like being strangled) emotion , isn't it,
almost like a weight being placed on you,

I am sure your mother will come to you in your dreams,
My Granadad does to me,
the greif for me never lessens,
but i've put it in a room in my brain,
where i go occaisionally,
just for him, he would not want me to greive,
but to .... i dont know, there is no answer

[dondaz]

Hi Celtic, I lost my mom in 2001. She was 58 and I was holding her hand when she died. My heart still burns for her and so will yours for your mom. It's hard to live with at first but time has a way of making you understand these things better.

For the ruff tuff and matcho out there watch this short film:

Waiting For Dad

Waiting for Dad - YouTube

My love and best wishes to you Celtic Isis

Darren

[carlg1212]

Watch someone you love DIE. Then you'll know NO EVERYTHING IS NOT AN ILLUSION.


The most important thing for you to do, as hard as it may sound, is realize that you're allowing yourself to be depressed. It's a choice. This took me years to realize, but no one is responsible if I'm depressed except me.

I'm sorry about your loss, but Icke's "Everything is an illusion..." has to be taken in context.

The bottom line is this: fear, guilt and hatred creates more fear, guilt and hatred, so that the collective subconscious is filled with more fear, guilt and hate.

Don't be depressed. Make up your mind today and say "That's it, from now on, I refuse to be depressed."

[zoloko]

The most important thing for you to do, as hard as it may sound, is realize that you're allowing yourself to be depressed. It's a choice. This took me years to realize, but no one is responsible if I'm depressed except me.

I'm sorry about your loss, but Icke's "Everything is an illusion..." has to be taken in context.

The bottom line is this: fear, guilt and hatred creates more fear, guilt and hatred, so that the collective subconscious is filled with more fear, guilt and hate.

Don't be depressed. Make up your mind today and say "That's it, from now on, I refuse to be depressed."
I LOVE YOU!

I speak from experience. I lost my lovely 19 year old daughter oct. 2004! And I say: Let yourself be depressed, let yourself be sad, rant and rave and cry whenever you need! Don´t hold back!! Take baby-steps, one thing at the time! You lost your mother! And your best friend!! And you will never hold her again! The void will allways be there!! But try to live as she was inside you! Enjoy beautifull things for her, try to think of her being in a much better place than here! Maybe she is neded somewhere else!
I have managed to pick up the pieces, admit my wrongdoings, say my appologies and even if I miss ZOE every day, somehow I have gotten a feeling of peace in my life, that was never there before!! I feel for you and hope you will be able to go forward in your life! But remember : NO RUSH!

THANK YOU!

[infinitely free]

PEOPLE FUCKING DIE, you're mother and father and brothers and sisters will die. But it should, in no way, be enough for you to believe that your life isn't even worth living anymore.

I'm not angry here, I'm trying to get you to realize that I'm 21 years old here, younger than you, and you're speaking about how everything is "not an illusion" but all that has happened is your mother is dead. The problem is, however, that she is dead to YOU and that is not a good thing.

You're mother is not dead, energy can not be created nor destroyed. You're mother is just consciousness, she was around before she was born, and she's around now. That is just how things are.

Hi celtic isis,

No matter what mind-sets, like the one above, tell you, you should listen to your heart!
If your heart is making you ask certain questions, then ask these certain questions!

I believe that we will overcome Death(/Illusion), even in this 'reality'!
We only have to learn how to manipulate 'reality'!

:)

All the best

I F

[infinitetruth]

My gran died in April a few days after her birthday. She was my Mums mum and I watched my mum go through the grieving process. Its not easy, I know she hasn't gone, she's gone from my world but she is somewhere else making new friends having new experiences. Maybe she knows where I am, maybe she doesn't but I know we will meet again someday.

Everyone in our lives we meet we cannot replace, some we meet briefly and some not. We tend not to be sad for those we know are still out there somewhere and there is still a chance that fate might bring us back together. Perhaps if death didn't seem so final, then we might not be sad - knowing that one day we would meet again.

Although i haven't experienced what you have Celtic, I have been at a place where I have wanted to end it all many times. I have been called stupid, selfish and all the names under the sun and at the same time I have been begged not to go - and it means nothing, for someone to say 'please don't do it, for me' it means nothing, not when you're so low. We all have to travel a difficult path and we do it alone. But when you're at the bottom, the only way to go is up only when you do reach the top you are a stronger person.

[infinitetruth]

I wasn't lashing out at you. I just don't understand how some people have a family member die, and then they get so devestated over it. Perhaps I am desensitized, in fact I'm certain I am, but there are many more people in the world who are so much worse off than you are. And I get a little...angry at first, because when I know these other families, and then people are talking about how their life is "falling apart" or something, I just snap and I think "what are you talking about! There is no way your life can be falling apart! There is no reason for you to be sad! You don't know anything about how your life really could fall apart!"

William, that is the true illusion. The illusion that someone is worse off than you, the illusion that someone is better off than you. That is the illusion. Where you have gone through difficult experiences, that I may not have been able to handle, in the same circumstances you may not have been able to handle mine. At the same time the experiences that Celtic is going through, if you were in her shoes may be something you find difficult to bear as it would deal with things you are unfamiliar with. You can't know what someone else is going through or compare it really, because our personalities are different and our upbringings are different. In the end we all have our crosses to bear and the only common thing is that we know it is tough.

[celtic isis]

hi everyone :)

just want to say thank you so much for the comforting, concerned and caring replies you've actually bothered to post me here. I really wasn't expecting it at all and it's made me feel a lot better, just to know that "some" of you understand. Thank you so much.

I just want to say my mam hasn't just died and that's it. Life is tough and i should know. I've conquered many awful things that could happen to a person...people look at me and probably think i've been through nothing and it couldn't be more opposite.

I'm devastated cause my mam was my best friend, and she died a horrible horrible death. I know she's free now, and she's with me, and i love her and wish i could have her back. But i'm not going to top myself or anything and i'm sorry if it came across like that, but i was very down when i started this thread. I do feel that most things have lost their meaning since she died, and i guess that's just the way it is. I have ot be thankful for what i do have, and for what i heave learned.

I guess i get lost cause i'm living in a different country (France) and now i have no family home or even family there to go back too since mam died. My dad is moving away and i'm happy he is cause he needs to, it's just sad to say goodbye to a place with so many happy memories shared there with mam. The family falls apart once the mother is gone too and also someone was involved in her death, which makes it even harder to just let go, if you can understand. I try not to be bitter and seek vengeance, and i won't.

I know my mam is free now, she was so sick for so many years, i know she's happy now. I'm just so sad without her.

My fiancé is my prince charming, he does everything for me and i love him more than anything, i know i'm lucky to have him. He's spoilt me his weekend to cheer me up and he didn't need to spoil me to do it. Also my auntie sent me pictures taken last year and there were some of me and mam together that mena everything to me now. Seeing them yesterday they were and are worth more than gold to me right now.

Thanks for caring guys, it really means so much to me. And i'm so sorry for the members who posted going through the same things, i'm so sorry for your loss, for your mums and daughters and nans, dads and grandads. You all sharing your stories really helps. And I'm so sorry for whinging.

It's another milestone anniversary since my mam passed away tomorrow so i guess it's that that's been getting me back down tha last week.


I get the illusion stuff in that sense seanx, exactly, what would be the point of living and breathing if we were all nothingness...i know what icke means.

And the freemasonry, lots of you will have family members who are freemasons, some freemasons are bastards and i don't trust them, but not all ok. Some (like my fiancé) is there to find a type of truth and in his lodge they study gnosticism, and i see all the work (speeches) he does for the lodge, he even reads it to me and can't wait to read it to me. He's wonderful, i trust him, everyone loves him, he's a very special person an di'm so lucky he came into my life. My mam only left me cause she knew i had him and cause she knew i was happy. I found my way after years of CRAP, and i mean CRAP. I would talk about it but it's too personal and i've said enough.

I know, i'm not usually depressed, just i was feeling really bad the last few days, cause of changes back in ireland etc, grief is like this, you get up go back down again...but on the whole i'm usually more balanced now. Once the first year is over, and it almost is, it'll be easier. The day she died is also her birthday. I just can't believe i'll never have a natter and a laugh, or a cuddle and a kiss, or hear her say "are you alright hun?" to me...it's things like that.

I am much stronger since this happened, believe it or not, and i understand i relied too much on my mam, like most young women and expected her to always be there. Now i'm the only woman left in my family, with my dad and brothers, it's just the 4 of us now and i've learned what i was meant to learn. It still hurts though big time. I guess it always will.

I want to say to each of you individually who posted here thank you just for caring about someone you dont even know and for taking the time to reach out, thank you all so much.

xxxxxxxxx

[celtic isis]

hello celtic isis,
compared to most people here I am probably spiritually retarded,
(poor me according to the celestine prophecies)
but i have felt greif recently,
Its quite a chocking(like being strangled) emotion , isn't it,
almost like a weight being placed on you,

I am sure your mother will come to you in your dreams,
My Granadad does to me,
the greif for me never lessens,
but i've put it in a room in my brain,
where i go occaisionally,
just for him, he would not want me to greive,
but to .... i dont know, there is no answer

thanks for that cheeb, that's exactly it, like a weight being placed on you. I'm really sorry about your grandad. It's funny ou should say about my mam coming to me in my dreams cause one night i was half awake half sleeping an di don't know what happened but i was lying there and i could see her and she ws stroking my hair like she used to, and it was so real, i really can't explain what happened. But it was so wonderful and gives me hope remembering it.

Thank you neila for you beautiful message to me. :)


I'm so sorry for you too zoloko and dondaz and everyone who has lost someone too. I'm very aware i'm not alone, also for you wlliam mac, i know i probably came across a right dramaqueen, and i am :o sometimes but...i'm not self absorbed. I was just crying out for some help posting here, and i just did it.

Thank you so much old friends and new friends, lottie, freespark, infinite truth, i am, i am all i am (and for scanning the book:)) limelady, amadeus, neila, dondaz, life of brian, mk72, seanx, richmick, stu30473, chattanova,

william mac (i'm really sorry your life has been so shit, if you ever want to have a natter please do, you're so young and been through so much, you should be proud and stand tall :))

to kooo, intuition, reptileslayer, nickatnoon, carlg1212, cheeb, zoloko and infinitelyfree.

love to you all.

[celtic isis]

Hi Celtic, I lost my mom in 2001. She was 58 and I was holding her hand when she died. My heart still burns for her and so will yours for your mom. It's hard to live with at first but time has a way of making you understand these things better.

For the ruff tuff and matcho out there watch this short film:

Waiting For Dad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E64UAneT9nc

My love and best wishes to you Celtic Isis

Darren


thanks dondaz :)

thanks also to heretic, eternal spirit, sevenworlds,auron, pumma and winniewillcocks. Infinite love and a big hug to you all.

[celtic isis]

William, that is the true illusion. The illusion that someone is worse off than you, the illusion that someone is better off than you. That is the illusion. Where you have gone through difficult experiences, that I may not have been able to handle, in the same circumstances you may not have been able to handle mine. At the same time the experiences that Celtic is going through, if you were in her shoes may be something you find difficult to bear as it would deal with things you are unfamiliar with. You can't know what someone else is going through or compare it really, because our personalities are different and our upbringings are different. In the end we all have our crosses to bear and the only common thing is that we know it is tough.

VERY WISE WORDS :)

How true is that last line, can i steal it and use it in my signature infinite truth? I could do with getting that hammered into me :)

[chris]

Sorry to hear about your loss CI

My dad died a few years ago. We never really bonded properly but he came to me quite a few times and it was quite a healing experience.

[infinitely free]

Maybe she knows where I am, maybe she doesn't but I know we will meet again someday.

Everyone in our lives we meet we cannot replace, some we meet briefly and some not. We tend not to be sad for those we know are still out there somewhere and there is still a chance that fate might bring us back together. Perhaps if death didn't seem so final, then we might not be sad - knowing that one day we would meet again.


Yes,
you see this is the biggest problem, when somebody dies. It is the question whether we will ever see him/her, again. And under what circumstances we would see him/her, again.

Many researchers would disagree, with me, but I think that the body is actually part of the spirit. We are used to the person's body and mind, and not so much, to his/her spirit - so talking of 'the spirit lives on' offers litlle comfort.

[zoloko]

I LOVE YOU!

I speak from experience. I lost my lovely 19 year old daughter oct. 2004! And I say: Let yourself be depressed, let yourself be sad, rant and rave and cry whenever you need! Don´t hold back!! Take baby-steps, one thing at the time! You lost your mother! And your best friend!! And you will never hold her again! The void will allways be there!! But try to live as she was inside you! Enjoy beautifull things for her, try to think of her being in a much better place than here! Maybe she is neded somewhere else!
I have managed to pick up the pieces, admit my wrongdoings, say my appologies and even if I miss ZOE every day, somehow I have gotten a feeling of peace in my life, that was never there before!! I feel for you and hope you will be able to go forward in your life! But remember : NO RUSH!

THANK YOU!

I LOVE YOU!

Hi celtic isis!!
I hope you are ok!! Just want you to know that when I wrote this to you, it was on one of my good day´s! Since then I have had some day´s here, where it all came back to me!! And all I can do is cry!! This is how it is and an even bigger reason to advise you to take one step at the time and try to enjoy every little thing you can!! Much love and many thoughts from me!!!

THANK YOU!

[lifeofbrian]

I LOVE YOU!

Hi celtic isis!!
I hope you are ok!! Just want you to know that when I wrote this to you, it was on one of my good day´s! Since then I have had some day´s here, where it all came back to me!! And all I can do is cry!! This is how it is and an even bigger reason to advise you to take one step at the time and try to enjoy every little thing you can!! Much love and many thoughts from me!!!

THANK YOU!

It is OK to cry. It is healing.

Not long ago I lost both my girlfriend and our unborn baby.

The crying is constant. The emptiness hell.

I am happy for you that you got to get to know your child.

I am really sorry for your loss.

[celtic isis]

It is OK to cry. It is healing.

Not long ago I lost both my girlfriend and our unborn baby.

The crying is constant. The emptiness hell.

I am happy for you that you got to get to know your child.

I am really sorry for your loss.

my God life of brian, that's so sad :( I'm so sorry.

I'm friends with a guy who lost his girlfriend recently and he's doing better now, but to lose your unborn baby too...you're a brave soul, i know it's not about being brave, cause you just stick on the route of life cause we don't have any other choice but to go on, but you are brave and an inspiration. I admire you, thank you for sharing that with us, you've made me realise i should be (and i am) thankful for what i do have. And i have a lot, in spite of everything being in pieces, i have my partner and our love can't be broken.

I'm so sorry for dondaz too, we only get one mum in life don't we and we always expect them to be around, kiss and hug us when we're hurt, make everything better again.

I was looking at pictures of me and my mam today and had a good cry and felt better for it. I know she is around me, and always will be, just as dondaz put it, my heart aches and burns for her, to have her back, which i know i can never have, and well, she was so so sick, she would have had no life. She is free now, and that's all i would want for my mam, just i wish she could still be here with us, i wouldn't want her imprisoned in her body any longer. She was so brave, i am so proud of her, to call her my mam, and as long as i stll think about her she'll live on in me.


Zoloko you're wonderful, and how you talk in your posts is just how i'm feeling too, it's remarkable. I know there's good days and bad days, you say that was a good day when you wrote that post to me :) I know. And oyu see there's a big difference between people who have gone through this too and people who haven't, they advice they gave as in "snap out of it, people die" and the advice you have given. Apart from william who has gone through it.

It's not about simply snapping out of it, or people die, fact of life...to lose someone unexpectedly when you think they are recovering after having a horrendous amount of suffering, having to sit and watch feeling useless as the person you love dies in front of your eyes, and you can't stop it, and then after there is this gap in your life, in your soul and your heart that can't be filled. It's not even about allowing yourself to be depressed, it's called grief, and it's worked through stage by stage. I keep having good periods and then going back to the angry stage and painful stage and then back to good again.

You're right though zoloko, it's only in the little things that happiness can be found again, i'm happy with my fiancé and so i tend not to cry when i'm with him. I don't cry much at all now, i just miss my mam, that's it. As we all miss the person we've lost.

I also don't think we don't mourn for the person who has died, but for ourselves...clever thought but not exactly true. We're mourning the lack of the person in our lives, the person who was always there, the link in the chain...i'm not like this for me, i cry for how my mam suffered, all the pain and sadness, her decision to die in hospital because she had no quality of life anymore, though she fought until the end. It just kills me to think of my mam making the decision to die you know, to say goodbye to us, for someone who loved so mch to have to leave her loved ones behind at such a time when everyone was fighting and hurting and we needed her, she was so sick she had reached her end. It kills me to think of her like that. My poor mam.

But that's life isn't it. It's horrific sometimes, what a tough learning place this really is. So hey, up there or around here, infinite consciousness, I'VE LEARNED WHAT I WAS MEANT TO OK!

take care everyone and love to you all.

[celtic isis]

Sorry to hear about your loss CI

My dad died a few years ago. We never really bonded properly but he came to me quite a few times and it was quite a healing experience.

hi chris :)

i'm sorry for your loss too :(

your dad came to you after he died? sorry to ask if it's a bit rude just that's really wonderful if he did. :)

[lifeofbrian]

Thank you celtic isis.

I have no words to describe how I feel. Every day is pretty much like waking up to torture.

The internet helps. A distraction. Kind people.

Knowing loss, I can sympathise with you, and all the rest here knowing what it is like.

Take care of yourself (and your loved ones) love.

[celtic isis]

Thank you celtic isis.

I have no words to describe how I feel. Every day is pretty much like waking up to torture.

But I know loss, and so I can sympathise with you, and all the rest here knowing what it is like.

Take care of yourself love.

You poor thing...to have pretty much your whole life taken away from you like that...can i ask when did it happen?

Take care of yourself too life of brian

xxxxx

[lifeofbrian]

You poor thing...to have pretty much your whole life taken away from you like that...can i ask when did it happen?

Take care of yourself too life of brian

xxxxx

She (my love) miscarried June 23 and died June 28.

Thank you my friend.

[celtic isis]

She (my love) miscarried June 23 and died June 28.

Thank you my friend.

OMG, that recently, oh i'm so sorry life of brian. :( That's heartbreaking to think of what you must be going through.

I hope you're ok, and i hope that life will bring some smiles your way soon.
I don't even know what to say, it's impossible to make sense of why these things happen in life. All tests i guess.

Take care my friend, i hope you have some support around you too when and if you need it. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM or whatever.

hugs and thoughts to you.

[lifeofbrian]

OMG, that recently, oh i'm so sorry life of brian. :( That's heartbreaking to think of what you must be going through.

I hope you're ok, and i hope that life will bring some smiles your way soon.
I don't even know what to say, it's impossible to make sense of why these things happen in life. All tests i guess.

Take care my friend, i hope you have some support around you too when and if you need it. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to PM or whatever.

hugs and thoughts to you.

I have people around, my closest mates. I cry all day, eyes leaking, even though my mind is on other things. I try to go online for the distractions and bigger pictures and all that. I need to sell our bed and try to find another place to live. No more relationships for me.

Thanks for your concern love. I hope you managed to feel OK about the birthday of your mother. Hope to see you around. And thank you for the offer to PM. I have no words to cover the personal though right now so maybe later.

Much love to you celtic isis.

[raginggran]

My love to all of you who are suffering now with grief.
Having lost my father when I was 14, my husband when I was 43 and recently my Mother I understand the devastating loss one feels when someone you LOVE deeply passes.
My Irish grandmother used to say "God doesn't give you more than you can
handle" :)
Go with your feelings.. they are yours to experience and make you who you are on your journey in this life time.

[hagbard_celine]

My love to all of you who are suffering now with grief.
Having lost my father when I was 14, my husband when I was 43 and recently my Mother I understand the devastating loss one feels when someone you LOVE deeply passes.
My Irish grandmother used to say "God doesn't give you more than you can
handle" :)
Go with your feelings.. they are yours to experience and make you who you are on your journey in this life time.

Hi, Raininggran. Glad to see you on this forum.

:)

[celtic isis]

I have people around, my closest mates. I cry all day, eyes leaking, even though my mind is on other things. I try to go online for the distractions and bigger pictures and all that. I need to sell our bed and try to find another place to live. No more relationships for me.

Thanks for your concern love. I hope you managed to feel OK about the birthday of your mother. Hope to see you around. And thank you for the offer to PM. I have no words to cover the personal though right now so maybe later.

Much love to you celtic isis.

you poor soul life of brian, you sound just like the guy i talk to who lost his girlfriend too at the beginning of the year, but to lose your unborn baby as well...that's more than hell...i was thinking about you last night when i got home, thinking i can't believe i was whinging about my mam the other day when there are people like you suffering so much. :(

Much love to you too life of brian, i hope things work out for you.

[celtic isis]

My love to all of you who are suffering now with grief.
Having lost my father when I was 14, my husband when I was 43 and recently my Mother I understand the devastating loss one feels when someone you LOVE deeply passes.
My Irish grandmother used to say "God doesn't give you more than you can
handle" :)
Go with your feelings.. they are yours to experience and make you who you are on your journey in this life time.

hello racinggran and thank you for your wise advice there. I'm so sorry for your losses too, you're right though to just go with our feelings here, no mater what experiences life brings, i know since losing my mam i've felt thankful, damn thankful for my fiancé, he's my rock, though i'm my own rock too, and i needed to learn that.

Irish grandmothers are very wise :)

I guess i always expected to lose my mam young, cause she was 42 when she had me, though not this young and not the way in which she did go. I see now she'll live on in me and if or hopefully when we have children, she'll live on in them too. She's made me who i am.

thank you guys for your wonderful posts, i do feel more positive now, just grief is such a lonely journey, or proces, no matter who you have around you, that's what i wasn't expecting. It's something you have to go through alone isn't it.

take care everyone.