Theft And Burglaries On The Rise

[markomac]

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Politics/Crime-Statistics-Theft-And-Burglaries-On-The-Rise/Article/200904415267703?lpos=Politics_Carousel_Region_0&lid=ARTICLE_15267703_Crime_Statistics%3A_Theft_And _Burglaries_On_The_Rise

"Thefts from the person rose by a quarter in 2008 while house break-ins recorded by police rose 4% between October and December."

"It prompted fears of a "credit crunch crime wave" linked to the rise in unemployment."

Altogether now, on the count of 3...

1....

2....

3....

BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scaremongering fuckers. If it wasn't the 'credit crunch' it would be blamed on Global Warming or Obama hysteria sweeping the world.

It's probably got nothing to do with the explosion of Iphones and other high tech gadgets that people carry and seem to flaunt. This wouldn't appeal to someone looking to score some money for the next hit of crack. OH NO!

MM

[anthony65]

When apprehended by the police, "Johnny M" (not his real name) explained that fears of a global meltdown of the financial markets had prompted him to pilfer the mobile phone of "Billy B" (not his real name) a classmate in his school "St Spankers of Spillbury in the Wold" (not a real school).

Police spokesperson "IP Mebed" (not a real name) said that the police had been expecting an increase in crime ever since they were informed of the planned financial crisis by government ministers in 2007. "The increase of 4% had already been programmed into our computers so we were not surprised by Johnny M's motivation. We plan for more crime this Summer with riots in most UK cities, large towns and some villages.

Police agent provocateur "Attila Smith" (real name for a change, considered so unlikely that the editor thought we should keep it) expressed his anxiety about the Summer of Violence: "I 'ope it don't kick off in June, cos I'm goin' to Majorca wiv the missus."

Billy B has a new mobile phone to ensure that his young brain will continue to be fried.

Johnny M has been prescribed medication: 2 liters of fluoridated tap water per day. "It's the same stuff what the Nazi's put in the water," remarked Johnny. "My mum says why pay for Prozac when you can get your sodium fluoride for noffin'?"

[markomac]

When apprehended by the police, "Johnny M" (not his real name) explained that fears of a global meltdown of the financial markets had prompted him to pilfer the mobile phone of "Billy B" (not his real name) a classmate in his school "St Spankers of Spillbury in the Wold" (not a real school).

Police spokesperson "IP Mebed" (not a real name) said that the police had been expecting an increase in crime ever since they were informed of the planned financial crisis by government ministers in 2007. "The increase of 4% had already been programmed into our computers so we were not surprised by Johnny M's motivation. We plan for more crime this Summer with riots in most UK cities, large towns and some villages.

Police agent provocateur "Attila Smith" (real name for a change, considered so unlikely that the editor thought we should keep it) expressed his anxiety about the Summer of Violence: "I 'ope it don't kick off in June, cos I'm goin' to Majorca wiv the missus."

Billy B has a new mobile phone to ensure that his young brain will continue to be fried.

Johnny M has been prescribed medication: 2 liters of fluoridated tap water per day. "It's the same stuff what the Nazi's put in the water," remarked Johnny. "My mum says why pay for Prozac when you can get your sodium fluoride for noffin'?"


Ha ha.

Classic.

Loving it.

[anthony65]

Ha ha.

Classic.

Loving it.

Thanks!

I just reread it and I loved it too! :D

[danster82]

I disagree as its obvious that as the economy worsens crime will increase thats no media propaganda just as simple as 1+1 = 2.

I Mix with all types and I know many who will do crime if they have no work and need to, they see it as their only choice and after all who can tell them otherwise? You going to tell them they will just have to make do with a street corner? noone can really tell a criminal that in a sense criminals are a clear sign to a society they it is failing and needs to change.

[jimmi]

Do you think there might be a possibility that someone might be responsible for this descent into chaos?:rolleyes:

[motleyhoo]

I disagree as its obvious that as the economy worsens crime will increase thats no media propaganda just as simple as 1+1 = 2.

I Mix with all types and I know many who will do crime if they have no work and need to, they see it as their only choice and after all who can tell them otherwise? You going to tell them they will just have to make do with a street corner? noone can really tell a criminal that in a sense criminals are a clear sign to a society they it is failing and needs to change.

Yep. I was telling people over a year ago that petty crime was gonna go up due to the economy. In fact, the amount of petty crime per capita is a very good economic indicator. Suicides also increase as does the high school dropout rate.