h1s_l0rdsh1p
13-04-2009, 11:39 PM
WARNING!
The stories that are to be read in this thread MUST be real stories that happened to you personally. If it so happens that it's just more copypasta, it will be disregarded!
These stories are allowed to be crude, so long as you are not making any racists jokes. Unless, a crude words has to be used to find the humor in it, then okay. Otherwise, yeah.
Two stories that happened with me and my girlfriend.
1:
Just today we were working on our house. I was trying to drill a screw, but I needed to be on the top step of the ladder, so my balance was abit off, and the drill had a low battery so it was charging. So I decide to do it by hand. Now, my girlfriend being black, will sometimes yell out things that I shouldn't be allowed to say. So as I'm unscrewing this I noticed that the screw used, for the very thing it was used for, is rather long. I'm sweating and trying to get this thing out. I'm getting tired of standing here reaching up for this thing. It won't go with my hand, and I'm starting to get pissed. Finally, I'm thinking, it's getting loose so I must be close. I'm twisting and twisting till I'm noticing that this screw is almost 10 cm long! I'm pissed, and realizing what this thing is for, I just yell out the first thing in my head:
"What backwards n**ger used such a long fuckin' screw for this shit?!"
My g/f turns right around with an "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEH?!"
2:
So my g/f and I are having sex, and we're really into it. Now, one of my tricks is to look away to the wall from time to time as to not get too horned up so I can keep going. However, I can still hear whats going on around me. As I look away, I start to realize that she's saying "he's fucking me. he's fucking." Like, over and over again. Then she starts saying "in my pussy. in my pussy." just over and over again. She keeps repeating these lines in between breathes. Finally, she's been saying these same things for almost a minute, I can't take it anymore. So I stop, look at her, and she looks wondering why I stopped. I just asked "Why do you keep stating the obvious?!". After about a minute neither one of us had the will to continue.
I know if my girlfriend reads these, she'll probably be pissed, but Eddie Murphy knows best. ;)
I still lover her, and she's still great at sex.
The stories that are to be read in this thread MUST be real stories that happened to you personally. If it so happens that it's just more copypasta, it will be disregarded!
These stories are allowed to be crude, so long as you are not making any racists jokes. Unless, a crude words has to be used to find the humor in it, then okay. Otherwise, yeah.
Two stories that happened with me and my girlfriend.
1:
Just today we were working on our house. I was trying to drill a screw, but I needed to be on the top step of the ladder, so my balance was abit off, and the drill had a low battery so it was charging. So I decide to do it by hand. Now, my girlfriend being black, will sometimes yell out things that I shouldn't be allowed to say. So as I'm unscrewing this I noticed that the screw used, for the very thing it was used for, is rather long. I'm sweating and trying to get this thing out. I'm getting tired of standing here reaching up for this thing. It won't go with my hand, and I'm starting to get pissed. Finally, I'm thinking, it's getting loose so I must be close. I'm twisting and twisting till I'm noticing that this screw is almost 10 cm long! I'm pissed, and realizing what this thing is for, I just yell out the first thing in my head:
"What backwards n**ger used such a long fuckin' screw for this shit?!"
My g/f turns right around with an "EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEH?!"
2:
So my g/f and I are having sex, and we're really into it. Now, one of my tricks is to look away to the wall from time to time as to not get too horned up so I can keep going. However, I can still hear whats going on around me. As I look away, I start to realize that she's saying "he's fucking me. he's fucking." Like, over and over again. Then she starts saying "in my pussy. in my pussy." just over and over again. She keeps repeating these lines in between breathes. Finally, she's been saying these same things for almost a minute, I can't take it anymore. So I stop, look at her, and she looks wondering why I stopped. I just asked "Why do you keep stating the obvious?!". After about a minute neither one of us had the will to continue.
I know if my girlfriend reads these, she'll probably be pissed, but Eddie Murphy knows best. ;)
I still lover her, and she's still great at sex.