fantana
13-07-2007, 07:40 PM
Enhancement Stories are known amongst HMHTs as essentials in everyday life. For more common folk, enhancement stories are known as lies. The purpose of Ehancement Stories (ESes as we call them) is to make sure no one knows how truly pathetic you are. Of course, I myself am not pathetic, because I’m super cool and have actually had sex with a woman (Please Note - that was an enhancement story). ESes are used in situations where you need to raise your status, say when you just fell over in front of a lot of people, you can brush it off as an aversion role because you thought you saw a scope laser sight on your jacket but it turned out to be an ice cream stain. Because you are going to be using a lot of ESes, there are a few vital steps to make sure you never get caught in the act, no pun intended.
Never, ever, make eye contact when spinning ESes
It is a well known fact that people who lie always look directly in your eyes when making shit up (or eye if you only have one). This is the not the purpose of ESes. You are not lying, you are enhancing yourself. Some do it through meditation, some through make up (face lies) and some through heavily padded socks (Height Enhancement socks as I call them). Because you don’t want people to think of youa liar it is vital to look ANYWHERE but their eyes. The trees, the people walking past or her boobies. These are all great places to look when spouting off an ES. Never the eyes. Mix it up a little, perhaps do some weird zig-zagging movements with your eyes, try and look dangerous.
Mumble, then shout
Because at first you may not be too sure what direction your ES is going to take its best to mumble the first bit so no one can quite grasp what you are saying. When they ask you what did you say, or repeat something they think they heard you say, you want to shout, and loudly. This will you get your point across and it sounds much more realistic. Also, remember to agree with everything they just said, because on a subconscious level parroting the same stuff over and over again turns the web of lies into a universal truth much like how the neo-nazis who orchestrated 9/11 have made the public (but not HMHTs) believe it was the work of a man who lives in a cave and has a goat wife.
Write down what you said
This is important, because you may get lost in your ESes sometime down the line. Remember, you want to hide how shit your life is and never give any indication your fiancé left you and your on medication. Hell, these are the same things you did when you first met you fiancé to make her think you were worth talking to (and didn’t just come off medication). Probably anyway, not that I would know. You don’t need to write down all of the details, just the basics. The date, time, and a few key factors in the ES are all that’s needed. When you review your days work you can further enhance the Enhancement Stories and turn them into Super Enhancement Stories (SESes). When told again with emotions it looks like they actually happened. If they ask you what you are writing, tell them, if life is worth living its worth recording. Then laugh, menacingly. It will get them excited for you, in a non gay way.
Avoid certain words
Certain words are not only hard to say they are even harder to understand. You didn’t spend all those years in speech therapy learning to talk properly, hell no, you spent them in their to learn how to incorporate talking into a device you can use yourself as a way of what I like to call “communicating”. Now, when ESes are flowing from you like that green stuff that makes your urine hurt, you want your audience to be well awake and into what you are saying. You may have heard people start off a conversation using the words “You won’t believe this but…” and then some shit story you couldn’t care less about. That’s because you don’t believe it. They just neurolistically programmed you to doubt what they said. The best way therefore is to do the opposite, something along the lines of “You will believe this completely because it just happened right now, to me, and is not in anyway a fabrication…” This will program them to believe everything you say. Mix that up with some mumbling, no eye contact, shouting and writing it down as you go along and you my friend, are onto a winner.
Final Thoughts
I myself use ESes pretty much all the time. My Dad will always have beaten more guys up than your Dad, my dog will always have killed more terrorists than your dog and my life will always be far better than it really is, thanks to ESes. An example I have, around 7 weeks ago I was doing some man-jogging before a hardcore weight training session. I slipped in a pothole, well actually it was a couple of feet deep so it basically swallowed me, and badly twisted my ankle. People asked me what had happened so I decided to enhance my story, which is a great basis for any Enhancement Story. I told people I rescued a cat that was stuck in a tree (I saw this happen on Fireman Sam that morning while having a manwhich and some coco pops, it inspired me). I wasn’t fully given the credit of being a Heavily Muscled Hero Type Guy that I would have say if it wasn’t a cat, but a small fucking child. Then, that poor child became a child trapped up a tree because a big fuck off bear was trying to eat it (the child, not the tree). I had to wrestle that bear, climb the huge tree and calm the child, all the time I did this with my twisted ankle which I got from falling down a pothole.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana
Never, ever, make eye contact when spinning ESes
It is a well known fact that people who lie always look directly in your eyes when making shit up (or eye if you only have one). This is the not the purpose of ESes. You are not lying, you are enhancing yourself. Some do it through meditation, some through make up (face lies) and some through heavily padded socks (Height Enhancement socks as I call them). Because you don’t want people to think of youa liar it is vital to look ANYWHERE but their eyes. The trees, the people walking past or her boobies. These are all great places to look when spouting off an ES. Never the eyes. Mix it up a little, perhaps do some weird zig-zagging movements with your eyes, try and look dangerous.
Mumble, then shout
Because at first you may not be too sure what direction your ES is going to take its best to mumble the first bit so no one can quite grasp what you are saying. When they ask you what did you say, or repeat something they think they heard you say, you want to shout, and loudly. This will you get your point across and it sounds much more realistic. Also, remember to agree with everything they just said, because on a subconscious level parroting the same stuff over and over again turns the web of lies into a universal truth much like how the neo-nazis who orchestrated 9/11 have made the public (but not HMHTs) believe it was the work of a man who lives in a cave and has a goat wife.
Write down what you said
This is important, because you may get lost in your ESes sometime down the line. Remember, you want to hide how shit your life is and never give any indication your fiancé left you and your on medication. Hell, these are the same things you did when you first met you fiancé to make her think you were worth talking to (and didn’t just come off medication). Probably anyway, not that I would know. You don’t need to write down all of the details, just the basics. The date, time, and a few key factors in the ES are all that’s needed. When you review your days work you can further enhance the Enhancement Stories and turn them into Super Enhancement Stories (SESes). When told again with emotions it looks like they actually happened. If they ask you what you are writing, tell them, if life is worth living its worth recording. Then laugh, menacingly. It will get them excited for you, in a non gay way.
Avoid certain words
Certain words are not only hard to say they are even harder to understand. You didn’t spend all those years in speech therapy learning to talk properly, hell no, you spent them in their to learn how to incorporate talking into a device you can use yourself as a way of what I like to call “communicating”. Now, when ESes are flowing from you like that green stuff that makes your urine hurt, you want your audience to be well awake and into what you are saying. You may have heard people start off a conversation using the words “You won’t believe this but…” and then some shit story you couldn’t care less about. That’s because you don’t believe it. They just neurolistically programmed you to doubt what they said. The best way therefore is to do the opposite, something along the lines of “You will believe this completely because it just happened right now, to me, and is not in anyway a fabrication…” This will program them to believe everything you say. Mix that up with some mumbling, no eye contact, shouting and writing it down as you go along and you my friend, are onto a winner.
Final Thoughts
I myself use ESes pretty much all the time. My Dad will always have beaten more guys up than your Dad, my dog will always have killed more terrorists than your dog and my life will always be far better than it really is, thanks to ESes. An example I have, around 7 weeks ago I was doing some man-jogging before a hardcore weight training session. I slipped in a pothole, well actually it was a couple of feet deep so it basically swallowed me, and badly twisted my ankle. People asked me what had happened so I decided to enhance my story, which is a great basis for any Enhancement Story. I told people I rescued a cat that was stuck in a tree (I saw this happen on Fireman Sam that morning while having a manwhich and some coco pops, it inspired me). I wasn’t fully given the credit of being a Heavily Muscled Hero Type Guy that I would have say if it wasn’t a cat, but a small fucking child. Then, that poor child became a child trapped up a tree because a big fuck off bear was trying to eat it (the child, not the tree). I had to wrestle that bear, climb the huge tree and calm the child, all the time I did this with my twisted ankle which I got from falling down a pothole.
Yours in manliness,
Fantana