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fantana
02-07-2007, 02:28 PM
The Art of Non Gay Love

Love. What is it? It’s the question man has been trying to seek an answer to for almost 6 months. Science maybe undecided about what love is, but I can tell you what love isn’t. Love isn’t an orange. Love isn’t a glass of urine, poured over someones head in a revenge attack. So, what IS love?

Here is the answer. Love is a term created by Galiens to trap people into a never ending world of personal grooming, tidiness and being polite. Things which real men such as myself know are not natural.

Is there a manly alternative to love?

Yes, Yes there is. It is called “NON GAY LOVE” and it is the only manly way to love. Picture this in your head as an example of the differences between love, and NON GAY LOVE. Imagine if I just walked up to my friend, who is standing their casually (perhaps he is wearing nice, tight fitting jeans and maybe he is a HMHT and has no shirt on) and said the following:

Fantana: I love you
Best friend (hetro) : ……..

Do you see what happened there? Not only did I look like a Galien, I put my best friend into a situation where he may have had to shoot me. He would be looking down and around at the floor, or anywhere so long as he didn’t have to look at me in such an awkward situation. I assume anyway. Please note I have never personally been in this situation, its just what I would do if someone said it to me who was my best friend, right after I kicked his ass. Not that I would touch his ass, or look at it. I don’t even acknowledge my friends have bums. That’s because I’m not a Galien. Heres how to do it properly.

Fantana: I NON GAY LOVE YOU (shout it so everyone hears you’re not a Galien)
Best Friend: I NON GAY LOVE YOU TOO (at this point if he was sitting down he would stand up, if you’re at a bar some music might be playing and when you run over to hug each other, it may feel as if your going in slow motion as the adrenaline and non gay rush starts to get you pumped)

That’s how to express real love, non gay love. Not only did we express our deep, often confusing feelings for each other in a heterosexual way, there was no confusion and inappropriate groping. This expression of Non Gay Love is totally acceptable in public, or in the quite secluded woods, late at night.

Hugging

Hugging has caused many men a lot of discomfort. The embrace has been manipulated by Galiens to make real men, even heavily muscled hero type guys like myself, to appear to be fagtoids. But Hugging is a natural and manly expression of comradeship, often seen in John Ruiz boxing contests, and who’s going to tell him he looks like a Galien? Just to clear up any confusion, heres what not to do when hugging:

NEVER approach your friend from behind before a hug
NEVER grab into the hug, it should always be a mutual embrace
NEVER try and wrestle a friend onto the floor in a hug
NEVER sigh deeply when hugging (or giggle)
NEVER initiate a Shirts off Showdown in a hug, or just after hugging
NEVER finish a hug with eye contact

If you do any of the above, you will scare your friend and make him confused, and he would want to physically assault you, but not sexually. Try and imagine what would happen next, I have, and it didn’t include taking off any clothing, that’s because my friends and I are not gay, or confused. Under no circumstances is it ok to hug a man from behind, EVER. Heres what you should do to hug like a real man:

ALWAYS tap your friend on the shoulder if you are approaching from behind
ALWAYS shout “I am going to hug you now” before the act begins
ALWAYS shout “We are two friends, hugging” during the entire hug
ALWAYS stick your ass out so your balls do not touch (vital if naked)
ALWAYS man slap your friends back so he knows its time to let go
ALWAYS look up at the sky after a hug and do not make eye contact for 10 seconds

By tapping your friend on his shoulder, you can initiate physical contact in a Non Gay Way. If you were to just hug him from behind, or pinch his firm buttocks, you could be mistaken as a Galien. For a perfect hug, make sure that your testicles do not come in contact by pushing your lower backs AWAY from each other. Not together, AWAY.

The Final Lesson in Non Gay Love

We have discovered what love really is, how to express it to a close friend and how to physically express love, in a NON GAY WAY. The third and last lesson maybe the most important lesson in NON GAY LOVE. It involves the touching of a NON GAY LOVED ONE, and how to pay compliments in a NON GAY WAY. Imagine you had a best friend with long, flowing hair that was carefully maintained and without a split end insight. You, as a manly man, would want to let him know it fills your days with endless pleasure. Do not go about it, like in this scenario (which has never happened)

Fantana: My dear friend, you have hair like an angel (at this point you would be stroking your friends hair, it’s only natural)
Best Friend: Uhm….. (they would look terrified, and move away really fast. At least, they should)

In that situation, I came across as looking like a GALIEN (obviously I’m not). There is only one way to express NON GAY LOVE to a NON GAY FRIEND.

Fantana: My dear friend, I mean this in a non gay way, you have hair like an angel (now you can begin to stroke his hair)
Best Friend: Thank you, I have been conditioning it a lot more recently, the curls feel like silk (when a man keeps great care of his hair, it honestly does feel like silk)
Fantana: You never cease to amaze me

As non gayness has been initiated already, it is ok to compliment a friend now. With all compliments after non gay initiation, always gaze deeply into your friends eyes, so he knows you are sincere. A sure fire giveaway to a Galien is when they don’t maintain eye contact when complimenting, they will look away and just laugh. For example one guy who I thought was my friend said my workout shoes which gave me an extra couple of inches looked great, then he just turned away and laughed hysterically.

Final Thoughts

As you have no doubt gathered from these examples, there is a fine line between becoming a Galien and expressing manly NON GAY LOVE. It is a line a lot of us don’t know the boundary of, but thanks to this guide, we can stop the spread of Galiens everywhere. Let’s recap

Number 1: ITS NON GAY LOVE
Number 2: NO HUGGING FROM BEHIND
Number 3:COMPLIMENTS ARE MADE WITH A STATEMENT OF NON GAYNESS


If you follow those 3 simple steps, you may even be ready to touch a woman.

IN A NON GAY WAY

Yours in manliness

Fantana

tinmenace
02-07-2007, 02:41 PM
http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/2/3D_emoticon_231.gif

Brilliant....as always.

thunda
02-07-2007, 02:47 PM
Once more Fantana, your words of wisdom are supreme .. Men around the world can now express their NON GAY LOVE with each other without putting themselves in embarrassing situations ..

I salute you, sir .. in a NON GAY way of course

:D

limelady
02-07-2007, 03:00 PM
I hope all you NON-GAY guys out there have now realised
where you've been going wrong all this time.

LL ;)

dondaz
02-07-2007, 03:08 PM
Hey fantana, you've made my day!

Funny as fuck.:D

Good advice for a couple of my gay mates.:eek: I'm friendly with them in a non-gay way.

Honest injun!

Nice one!

garth
02-07-2007, 03:21 PM
PMSL...*applause*...always wondered why my mates looked at me funny when I hugged em from behind..nakid....now i know what to do..tap first then no ball contact..easy as:D Thanks Fantana


Fantana..I non gay love you:D

indigo
02-07-2007, 03:29 PM
Very funny:D I see you have you hands around a pole, IN A NON GAY WAY OFCOURSE!!!;)

freespark
02-07-2007, 05:18 PM
The Art of Non Gay Love


NEVER approach your friend from behind before a hug
NEVER grab into the hug, it should always be a mutual embrace
NEVER try and wrestle a friend onto the floor in a hug
NEVER sigh deeply when hugging (or giggle)
NEVER initiate a Shirts off Showdown in a hug, or just after hugging
NEVER finish a hug with eye contact

If you do any of the above, you will scare your friend and make him confused, and he would want to physically assault you, but not sexually. Try and imagine what would happen next, I have, and it didn’t include taking off any clothing, that’s because my friends and I are not gay, or confused. Under no circumstances is it ok to hug a man from behind, EVER. Heres what you should do to hug like a real man:

ALWAYS tap your friend on the shoulder if you are approaching from behind
ALWAYS shout “I am going to hug you now” before the act begins
ALWAYS shout “We are two friends, hugging” during the entire hug
ALWAYS stick your ass out so your balls do not touch (vital if naked)
ALWAYS man slap your friends back so he knows its time to let go
ALWAYS look up at the sky after a hug and do not make eye contact for 10 seconds

By tapping your friend on his shoulder, you can initiate physical contact in a Non Gay Way. If you were to just hug him from behind, or pinch his firm buttocks, you could be mistaken as a Galien. For a perfect hug, make sure that your testicles do not come in contact by pushing your lower backs AWAY from each other. Not together, AWAY.



ROFL...no wonder i have a black eye...i heard a loud noise behind my non gay friend hugee after the hug and i think i made eye contact by mistake.

Next time i will block out all my senses so i can fully concentrate on the act without making any fatal errors.

Thanks for the tips. I will carry them with me always.

auron
02-07-2007, 05:40 PM
Thanks for the advice Fantana!! :D

hagbard_celine
02-07-2007, 05:58 PM
I've been straight as a poker my entire life... but now I've suddenly fallen in love with Fantana!

:confused:

Fantana, I know you only like non-gay love, but could you make an exception for me? Pretty please??? :o

auron
02-07-2007, 06:11 PM
I've been straight as a poker my entire life... but now I've suddenly fallen in love with Fantana!

:confused:

Fantana, I know you only like non-gay love, but could you make an exception for me? Pretty please??? :o
What?? You mean that Fantana is gay? :confused:

dondaz
02-07-2007, 06:23 PM
I see you have you hands around a pole

Wishful thinking or a substitution?

A real mans man only plays with his own dick! In a non gay way of course.:D

limelady
02-07-2007, 10:40 PM
Fantana, have you been instructing these guys? It looks to me
as though P Diddy and Prince William are showing how to perform
the perfect NON-GAY hug as per your technique.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_03/diddyPA0207_468x576.jpg

I took note that groin areas are not touching :p

truthcommission
03-07-2007, 04:02 AM
Oh gawd Galiens and Fagtoids hugging each other from behind. Thats good, thats really good.

I think I need to change my underwear now.

stikmata
03-07-2007, 10:46 AM
I got a non-gay erection while reading that.

purple is a fruit
03-07-2007, 10:53 AM
Fantana...I LOVE YOU,

in a VERY non gay way;)


Purple:D

a fine naked fellow
03-07-2007, 11:35 AM
I NON GAY LOVE YOU!

A good rule to live by - “ its only gay if the balls touch”

fantana
03-07-2007, 01:41 PM
http://www.lifeshore.com/smiley/data/media/2/3D_emoticon_231.gif

Brilliant....as always.



You either got it, or you don't, and a Galien isn't even close.

Once more Fantana, your words of wisdom are supreme .. Men around the world can now express their NON GAY LOVE with each other without putting themselves in embarrassing situations ..

I salute you, sir .. in a NON GAY way of course

:D

Non Gay Salute acknowledged



I hope all you NON-GAY guys out there have now realised
where you've been going wrong all this time.

LL ;)


Lets hope so, its our only hope.


Hey fantana, you've made my day!



I know what you're thinking, I did I make 5 or 6 spelling mistakes? Thats right punk, I made your day.


Fantana..I non gay love you:D

Non gay love accepted.


Very funny:D I see you have you hands around a pole, IN A NON GAY WAY OFCOURSE!!!;)

I can do that, and little Fantana does not get jealous.




Thanks for the tips. I will carry them with me always.

Always got to look after the tips, in a non gay way.


Thanks for the advice Fantana!! :D

I mean this in a non gay way, but you have hair as soft as Jesus himself, and I would like to stroke it.


Fantana, I know you only like non-gay love, but could you make an exception for me? Pretty please??? :o

Again?

Oh gawd Galiens and Fagtoids hugging each other from behind. Thats good, thats really good.

I think I need to change my underwear now.

Keep it commando, real men like the sound their gear makes as it slaps the thighs.

I got a non-gay erection while reading that.

Its science.


Fantana...I LOVE YOU,

in a VERY non gay way;)


Purple:D

That was a close call, I almost had to done my pink rubber gloves then

I NON GAY LOVE YOU!

A good rule to live by - “ its only gay if the balls touch”

Keep it simple, keep it NON GAY

chattanova
03-07-2007, 04:19 PM
Fantana, have you been instructing these guys? It looks to me
as though P Diddy and Prince William are showing how to perform
the perfect NON-GAY hug as per your technique.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/06_03/diddyPA0207_468x576.jpg

I took note that groin areas are not touching :p

LMAO ,I absolutley think he have :D

auron
03-07-2007, 10:41 PM
I mean this in a non gay way, but you have hair as soft as Jesus himself, and I would like to stroke it.

You can stroke my hair any time man! Of course it would have to be in a non gay way. :D

purple is a fruit
04-07-2007, 12:54 AM
Fantana,

you have caused rather an impact in my neck of the woods....you are my 11 year old son's idol!! LOL a good or bad thing? well It's bloody funny:D

At a recent dress up party featuring hats and ties, he insisted on wearing a fantana hat which he scoped out in a local op shop.....:eek:
What a sensation you have caused

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/2572/cowboycauleyom5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Shot with DSC-S500 (http://profile.imageshack.us/camerabuy.php?model=DSC-S500&make=SONY) at 2007-07-03


:D:D:D

purple

limelady
04-07-2007, 01:19 AM
Hehehe.....I see he has also been practicing the famous fantana 'stare down' ...at least I think that's what this famous fantana look is called.

:D


http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/2572/cowboycauleyom5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)http://www.fantana.net/media/Images/COWBOYENTER_02.gif

purple is a fruit
04-07-2007, 01:23 AM
hmmmmm, next he will be asking for a gym membership so he can create the perfect fantana bicep:eek:

Purple:D

whitenight639
04-07-2007, 01:52 AM
fantana can i get a merchandising deal on those hats?
we could branch out and sell man condoms for THE NON GAY man.
we can turn your game into an online e-course,
www.the-fantana-non-gay-method.com :)

shaving ads, tight NON GAY t-shirts for the NON GAY man, get in touch :D

limelady
04-07-2007, 12:45 PM
Hey, how about a forum "fantana look-alike photo challenge"?

I dare you to stike a pose and post your worst (or best).....in a pink hat!!!

Now whose manly enough (or womanly enough) :D

LL

indigo
04-07-2007, 03:34 PM
Lol, You go first then:D

garth
05-07-2007, 03:48 PM
Challenge..somebody say challenge??

well..ole Garth is always up for a bit of a challenge...so here goes..just so happened to spy a pink cowboy hat in the costume shop today...reefed an old circa 1997 muscle shirt from the bottom of the draw and hey presto...

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2193/garthfantanacn7.jpg

Shown in totally non gay way of course:D

tinmenace
05-07-2007, 11:12 PM
Bravo Garth! Very cool, in a non-gay way, of course!

:D

purple is a fruit
05-07-2007, 11:25 PM
Challenge..somebody say challenge??

well..ole Garth is always up for a bit of a challenge...so here goes..just so happened to spy a pink cowboy hat in the costume shop today...reefed an old circa 1997 muscle shirt from the bottom of the draw and hey presto...

http://img519.imageshack.us/img519/2193/garthfantanacn7.jpg

Shown in totally non gay way of course:D

HAHAHAHAHA Well dont Garth!!!:D Nice bicep dude!

I will dig out the pink hat and pump up my scrawny bicep, and strike a pose too.........This should be interesting:rolleyes: In a very non gay way of course


Purple

thirdwave
06-07-2007, 01:08 AM
Fantana,

you have caused rather an impact in my neck of the woods....you are my 11 year old son's idol!! LOL a good or bad thing? well It's bloody funny:D

At a recent dress up party featuring hats and ties, he insisted on wearing a fantana hat which he scoped out in a local op shop.....:eek:
What a sensation you have caused

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/2572/cowboycauleyom5.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
Shot with DSC-S500 (http://profile.imageshack.us/camerabuy.php?model=DSC-S500&make=SONY) at 2007-07-03


:D:D:D

purple


I think Fantanas got some kind o mind control thing going on .... look at his eyes..... it just looks a bit scary :)

purple is a fruit
06-07-2007, 05:31 AM
I think Fantanas got some kind o mind control thing going on .... look at his eyes..... it just looks a bit scary :)

it is him attempting to pose in a very non gay way.:D
:p

purple

tinmenace
06-07-2007, 12:08 PM
So, Garth wins. :)

purple is a fruit
06-07-2007, 12:19 PM
So, Garth wins. :)


well I guess he does.....Although If I knew there was going to be a contest before I posted that photo........;):D