The Pentecostal faith? I am confused!

[dhama_initiative]

I have negative experience of the pentecostal church, my family went to a huge one through my teens. One big problem was that I was very shy and not sporty and confident like all the other teens there.

But, It just never worked for me. I made an effort, to have people pray for me, etc. But it always felt wrong. I never felt overcome by ecstasy, never spoke in tongues, never knocked to the ground. I was always surrounded by people weeping and rolling around, but I only felt something when there were loads of people putting their hands on me, and that was just human contact.

Also, I often felt intimidated - that people more forceful than me were trying to push me into feeling these things.

I tried to go to another Pentecostal church in my early 20s, and this one was better, and I had a relationship there. But still, I never really felt the emotion, and I didn't really make any close friends, so when that relationship ended, I never went back.


A lot of what goes on with them is kind of Icke-ish and new agey, driving out spirits, speaking in tongues, prophecy. On the other hand they spend a lot of time trying to stop gays and unmarried people having sex, and they would condemn Icke as "new age".

I was scared of being "filled with the spirit" - it never happened to me, even though I asked for prayer. I sometimes have nightmares that it happens in a church and I can't breathe, or I'm lifted up in the air, or a strong, dominating preacher is pushing me down on the ground.

My parents liked a guy called Mahesh Chavda, who claimed to bring people back from the dead, heal amputated limbs, and have spiritual battles with african witchdoctors where all the dried up trees would start growing again after he won. This person always made me uncomfortable and scared, which made me feel guilty for being too sinful to accept him. An ex pentecostal told me online, that he saw him doing a rain dance and waving a sword around at one of his talks.

[size_of_light]

Sounds a bit like one of those TV hypnotism specials where they get B-list celebrities clucking around the studio pretending to be chickens and shit.

You probably just didn't get into the right spirit of the whole thing by playing along and lying :eek: like the others.

[dlb2007]

Get out of the pentecostal churches.... GET OUT NOW!!!

If you have christian beliefs and feel lost, start at the very begining, read the teachings of the early Christian fathers, get back to basics.

[dhama_initiative]

I have been driven to Zen and Gnosticism. Spirituality offered me peace during a tough time where my Christian faith, I felt offered no help.

[dlb2007]

it is a sad state of affairs that when someone is looking for help and advice there is no one willing to offer it because it is so often that we are percieved to be "foisting our religion on others" - there is such a negitive and suspicious attitude towards christians who offer out reach that i am not supprised that no one came to your aid, that is sad.

[armoured_amazon]

it is a sad state of affairs that when someone is looking for help and advice there is no one willing to offer it because it is so often that we are percieved to be "foisting our religion on others" - there is such a negitive and suspicious attitude towards christians who offer out reach that i am not supprised that no one came to your aid, that is sad.

True dat.

My experiences of pentecostal churches are that they live by faith and as it is written. We don't follow a church calendar nor have a set sermon etc, the message is directed by God. My personality doesn't feel comfortable with public displays such as waving my hands and throwing myself on the floor etc and sometimes it does feel as though the pastor thinks one is not fully committing by not doing so. However, I ended up at a pentecostal church because I have had experience of the Spirit and didn't find traditional church allowed me to express that. I go fairly regularly but don't always get up in time. I think it is down to the individual church you attend; the first church I visited after my awakening was also pentecostal, but felt extremely cultish and I did not feel comfortable there at all, nor that they were authentic.

[dhama_initiative]

it is a sad state of affairs that when someone is looking for help and advice there is no one willing to offer it because it is so often that we are percieved to be "foisting our religion on others" - there is such a negitive and suspicious attitude towards christians who offer out reach that i am not supprised that no one came to your aid, that is sad.

There were people to come to my aid, I don't accuse anyone from my old churches for not helping me enough. I just didn't feel that the religion itself or the bible offered me any peace, as nice as the people were. Also, part of my bad mood at that time came from being infatuated with a non christian who I wanted a relationship with, which I knew I couldn't reconcile with Christianity and didn't want to. I got over that person in time, but felt no urge to back to the faith afterwards.

[morphal]

Pentecostal churches and charismatic churches *can* be scary, in a real way. There are counterfeit spirits who would pretend to be a part of the Christian experience, to deceive even the elect. And it works. And that's scary. Instead of providing answers and spiritual comfort, it provides distractions, and pressure to conform to what may be a counterfeit experience.

That's not to say some Pentecostal churches aren't real, but that many of them aren't - just like most churches which have been corrupted... that's written about in Revelations.

[phildee3]

There were people to come to my aid, I don't accuse anyone from my old churches for not helping me enough. I just didn't feel that the religion itself or the bible offered me any peace, as nice as the people were. Also, part of my bad mood at that time came from being infatuated with a non christian who I wanted a relationship with, which I knew I couldn't reconcile with Christianity and didn't want to. I got over that person in time, but felt no urge to back to the faith afterwards.



Hi, d.i.
Reading through your story makes me pretty certain that you are a true Christian. One of the chosen few.

[phildee3]

Pentecostal churches and charismatic churches *can* be scary, in a real way. There are counterfeit spirits who would pretend to be a part of the Christian experience, to deceive even the elect. And it works. And that's scary. Instead of providing answers and spiritual comfort, it provides distractions, and pressure to conform to what may be a counterfeit experience.

That's not to say some Pentecostal churches aren't real, but that many of them aren't - just like most churches which have been corrupted... that's written about in Revelations.




Wise words!

[morphal]

Aw, thanks Phildee - I'm flattered by you ;)

[phildee3]

Aw, thanks Phildee - I'm flattered by you ;)

Uh, oh.
You're supposed to be humbled.

[morphal]

lol... then I am humbled - do not flatter me... for I am not wise as you can see ;)

[dhama_initiative]

I did go to a "Pente" church once since leaving my previous. I had been going to an old fashioned evangelical church, but left as I was too messed up about this infatuation. I wandered in to a Jesus Army place while feeling obsessive about the infatuaton. They prayed with me, and they were very nice, but it didn't make me feel "holy spirit" and stop me obsesing over this woman. The pastor even said God told him that it was time for me to stop being an outsider and come in. That made me slightly angry, as I felt my social skils and vunrability had been too bad for that in the past, with no divine help. The pastor said I shouldnt worry about that as I was more confident now. I said that confidence had come from non christian acts at nightclubs which had helped me more than church ever did. He said that didn't matter now, but I left unconvinced.

The people at Jesus Army -

They seemed very possesive, wanting my phone and address

They told me that the evening meeting was just going to be a laid back chat, then changed it to an amped up worship mosh after everyone had been psyched up in the chat

I overheard a kid taking a vow of celibacy - I was stuck in an infatuation with someone who I was embrassed was more experienced and social than me, I felt very unequal to her and "vow of celibacy" was the last thing I needed to hear.

Of course, they were all very friendly, caring, willing to listen and I felt they were very loving people. However, I felt smothered that day and did not go back. I was relieved to get out and I left determined to go out and become as social and "sexually" confident as I could, in order to feel more equal to my infatuation girl.

and my bizzare life after that.. I spoke about here!

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42133

[armoured_amazon]

an amped up worship mosh

lol :D

[dhama_initiative]

Yes I did mosh..I used to listen to DC Talk and all their solo projects..I think they were the christian Wu Tang Clan as they has so many solo projects and hangers on..although they sound more like a cut-price RATM..cut price Beastie Boys on the first album.

[dhama_initiative]

Hi, d.i.
Reading through your story makes me pretty certain that you are a true Christian. One of the chosen few.

If you say so, but I don't remember hearing Gods voice or having special feelings that I couldn't attribute to the emotional atmosphere created by meetings/camps.

I have never been able to belive Calvinism/Predestination either, if that is "chosen"!

[psychicdefender]

If you say so, but I don't remember hearing Gods voice or having special feelings that I couldn't attribute to the emotional atmosphere created by meetings/camps.

Because God became human with Jesus we can be sure that God will always meet us where we are at. If you aren't the kind of person that is comfortable with the 'mosh' style of worship and haven't felt the Spirit in it's more glamorous ways then there is nothing wrong with that! God wouldn't put you through something that doesn't match who you are.

Perhaps you are more of the peaceful kind?

Doesn't make you any less of a Christian just because you experience God in a different way. There are many evangelical/pentecostal type Christians that end up 'burnt up', it's not that they don't believe anymore, they just find that style doesn't fit with them anymore. There are peaceful styles of worship, the more 'traditional' styles can be like that, if you can get past the (unjustified) associations with medieval theology.

I hope that helps, good luck with finding yourself and whatever you are comfortable with.

PD

[dhama_initiative]

I don't believe in that kind of God anymore. If the God preached about at my old church really existed, he would have *something* to make me feel less "low esteem" and inadequate, passed over.

[phildee3]

I did go to a "Pente" church once since leaving my previous. I had been going to an old fashioned evangelical church,



The evangelical church that you used to go to was founded in 1922.

This post-dates the beginning of the pente movement by twenty years:

"Today's Pentecostal movement traces its community's growth to a prayer meeting at Bethel Bible College in Topeka, Kansas on January 1, 1901."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentecostalism

I think this is the cause of some of your confusion.
Evangelism is prosletisation.
You can't have prosletisation without having something to prosletise, and the modern evangelist movement prosletises fundamentalism (which includes pentecostalism).

Traditional Christianity was prosletised by the early evangelists - the apostles.
The only "old fashioned" evangelist church is 2000 years old.

The evangelism that your (ex) church espouses is modern fudamentalism.

You have to dig much deeper, and further back, to experience "old-fashioned" Christianity!