lightbeing
25-06-2007, 01:27 PM
A mate of mine sent me this, he comes from Essex!:D
ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL
You may have heard of yesterday's storm damage in the UK
which affected Essex.
Locally it was referred to as Hurricane Shazza and hit Essex in the
early
hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del
Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed and many locals
were woken well before their benefit giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Basildon.
However, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on
as normal.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old> > mother of 5, said,
"It was such a shock. My little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running
into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Victoria-Storm,
slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and
watching
Trisha the next morning."
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
of
personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke
at Argos and Bone China from Poundstretcher.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or
Burberry baseball
Caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female), White
sport socks,
Rockport boots. Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans,
Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
Remember, 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms; £2
Buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9; £5
buys a packet of Benson and Hedges and a lighter to calm the> >
nerves of those affected.**Breaking news** Rescue
workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
"Where are you bleeding from?' they asked " ROMFORD" said the
girl. "Woss that gotta do wiv you"? (Please don't forward this to
anyone living in Essex - Oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it,
anyway.)
ESSEX HURRICANE APPEAL
You may have heard of yesterday's storm damage in the UK
which affected Essex.
Locally it was referred to as Hurricane Shazza and hit Essex in the
early
hours of Friday with its epicentre in Basildon.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa Del
Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed and many locals
were woken well before their benefit giros arrived.
Essex FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Basildon.
However, looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on
as normal.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old> > mother of 5, said,
"It was such a shock. My little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running
into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Victoria-Storm,
slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and
watching
Trisha the next morning."
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers
are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities
of
personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke
at Argos and Bone China from Poundstretcher.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include: Fila or
Burberry baseball
Caps, Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers), Shell suits (female), White
sport socks,
Rockport boots. Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include: Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans,
Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
Remember, 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms; £2
Buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9; £5
buys a packet of Benson and Hedges and a lighter to calm the> >
nerves of those affected.**Breaking news** Rescue
workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
"Where are you bleeding from?' they asked " ROMFORD" said the
girl. "Woss that gotta do wiv you"? (Please don't forward this to
anyone living in Essex - Oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it,
anyway.)