Process of Individuation and LOVE

[yinon]

More on the process of individuation:

Kids who had troubles to develop a meaningful relationship with their parents won't face easily the process of individuation. Their perception of lack of love or their incapacity to connect their parent's heart follow them. They cannot commit themselves in a deep way and maintain superficial relationships with others.

They never felt a true communion with them for many reasons and are unable to open their heart unconditionaly. They escape this necessary step in trying to feed their empty void otherwise.

Their perception of lack of love impacts the awakening process. How can you push the American way and the THINK BIG AGENDA when you realize how devastating it could be on our future generations?

LOVE is what matters first!

Relationships at the core of ALL

[yinon]

It doesn't mean for their parents to stay in a superficial relationship. Many believe that divorce creates more turmoil in their children's life. I know it because I have been there. Security without true love is more destructive .
Every members of the family escape the truth. Counsciousness grows up in a true loving environment not in an artificial one impose by the traditional marriage.

Reinvent the marriage!!! Maybe we could commit to each others every 5 years but not eternally!

[yinon]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-smalley/growing-up-in-the-50s_b_46260.html


Interesting exemple


Growing Up in the 50s

I had a superficial relationship with my mother. On the surface we looked like the perfect mother-daughter duo - laughing, talking shopping, lunching. I called many times a week to say hello, fill in the news of the grandchildren, and to check on mom and dad. Superficial (Encarta): 1. Concerned with or understanding only the obvious. 2. Shallow in character or attitude. 3. Only seeming to be real or the case. 4. With little significance or substance.

....


I held a lot of resentment toward my mother for my 'disconnection' for so many years. As I've come to better understand her own experiences as a child, adolescent, and young adult, I know she saw no other path of parenting and believed with all her heart that she was playing the 'perfect' role. My resentment has faded and been replaced by compassion for the challenges each generation faces to provide for the next.

To her death she continued to play her part, never once relinquishing the role to just experience - except perhaps in the few silent moments during her foot massages - in those silent times, we were together again.

[yinon]

Here's the kind of guy who's gonna be trapped here for eternity!!!!!! He won't never face the individuation process.

Dr Frank Tallis

Is Love a Mental Illness?

Why do men fall in love more than women? And when women do fall in love, why is it that they become addicted to the feeling more easily? Why do people invariably find the person who they fall in love with attractive? Why is it that lovers write poetry and sing love songs? How can we explain romantic conventions like men giving gifts to women? And why can passionate love never last? Remarkably, all of these questions can be answered – and many more – if we accept a simple, somewhat startling, premise: Love is a mental illness.

.....

It is revealing that most people only experience being madly in love for about two years. This duration corresponds exactly with the time it would have taken our ancestors to produce and wean one child. Thus, love’s madness lasts just long enough to ensure the survival of genes from one generation to the next!


http://www.franktallis.com/lovesick.htm