3ill
20-05-2007, 05:19 AM
Had an interesting experience today. I've recentyl found out my fiance is an Empath. The way she describes it, sometimes she can't help but see everything in someone's life and see through their eyes in a millisecond. Nothing clear, she just suddenly get's their 'vision', seeing clearly from their perspective. This also results in physical pain sometimes, as she's a nurse at a the geriatric center. It's a blessing and a curse, she helps people more than any nurse I know, but also bears the burden of having to feel their pain to and extent.
This is the setup,this story is not about my fiance.
Sometimes I have my head so far up my ass, esecially with my interest in occult knowledge, that I don't see the forest for all the trees. I should have put two and two together a long time ago.
My family is known for seeing ghosts. My sister (14) can see them clearly, and when my Grandmother died a few years ago this extended to In-Laws who didn't believe in ghosts. My family has some sort of thing in us that we can peer through the 4th wall on my mom's side. However My father's side has demons following it, in my opinion, or something else sinister. I'm a Gemini, which is fitting.
Today we went to the local flea market. It's about a half hour away, and has a nice atmosphere. Good downhome people. Sometimes I have conversations with the vendors about God and religion. They are usually Christians, but I enjoy it when I find them on common ground, LOVE. Some of them agree with the fact that many chuches are hypocritical, and won't go to them. Good times. I avoid the sandpaper.
In the bedroom with my fiance, she's getting dressed. Were talking about our recent revelation of her abilities, and my family history. I said something to the effect of, "Whatever I can do, I haven't even begun exploring." We went off and I was feeling anxious. A bit nervous. This made me think of the day my Grandmother died. We were celebrating my fiance's Birthday (synergy 1) and when they were cutting the cake, I couldn't eat any as I was feeling so anxious, thinkign I needed to get over their as we were living out of town. (Synergy 2) I had only come back to town because she was dying, having not talked to my mom in years. About a half hour later, my Stepdad calls, tells me my Grandmother has passed. I asked when, he said, "About a half hour ago." (Add 1+2)
Now I hoped everyone was alright. I let it slide and thought "can't do anything anyway" so there was no use in worrying myself.
Before we went we were also talking alot about Censorship, O&A, Imus, and the current topics. After thinking ti over, I realized it wasn't about anything these people said, but what we could say in the future. (How it took me long enough to come to that conclusions, forest for the trees.) I decided I'd take a stance that made sense to me, Patrice O'neal put it best that "Everyone should be able to say everything."
So we are walking around the place, called Treasure Island, complete with pirate statue, and we are talking to a lady about Stained glass (she makes it) for the windows in our doors. All of a sudden I get hot, cold, and nausea all at once. I had to start walking immediately. Not knowing what caused it all of a sudden. I knew walking around would clear it for some reason. It did. We loop around get back to that row, one aisle up, and cut across where we walked away, as we wanted to see the other end of the aisle I got sick at. as we alked past, but twenty feet from the Stained glass booth, I see something Red. It's a blood flag. It's rolled up to hide the sigil, and below it is a Nazi Propaganda poster. I look to see another, and another hanging on the wall. My blood boils, but I don't feel sick anymore. I feel pissed. My first instinct is burn it. My second involves my fists. My third tells me to chill.
I did at this point express my distaste loud enough for at least a dozen people to hear, and without censoring myself. I'm thinking "Burn IT!" but my impulses can't get the best of me. I'm thinking of some visual terror I could launch at this guy, which makes me feel better for a minute. I lodge a complaint at the office of the building, and feel like a hypocrit. While it's uncalled for, by any measure, I know what's happening. I'm testing myself as I always do, allowing the universe to become a virtual playground mirroring what's on my mind at the time. Am I a hypocrit? I know what that flag is, I know what's in those posters. Fucking evil is what it is. Black magic. Pure hate. But everyone should ba able to say everything. I'm torn, and it's still on my head right now.
Like to hear your opinion, whatever it is.
3'LL
This is the setup,this story is not about my fiance.
Sometimes I have my head so far up my ass, esecially with my interest in occult knowledge, that I don't see the forest for all the trees. I should have put two and two together a long time ago.
My family is known for seeing ghosts. My sister (14) can see them clearly, and when my Grandmother died a few years ago this extended to In-Laws who didn't believe in ghosts. My family has some sort of thing in us that we can peer through the 4th wall on my mom's side. However My father's side has demons following it, in my opinion, or something else sinister. I'm a Gemini, which is fitting.
Today we went to the local flea market. It's about a half hour away, and has a nice atmosphere. Good downhome people. Sometimes I have conversations with the vendors about God and religion. They are usually Christians, but I enjoy it when I find them on common ground, LOVE. Some of them agree with the fact that many chuches are hypocritical, and won't go to them. Good times. I avoid the sandpaper.
In the bedroom with my fiance, she's getting dressed. Were talking about our recent revelation of her abilities, and my family history. I said something to the effect of, "Whatever I can do, I haven't even begun exploring." We went off and I was feeling anxious. A bit nervous. This made me think of the day my Grandmother died. We were celebrating my fiance's Birthday (synergy 1) and when they were cutting the cake, I couldn't eat any as I was feeling so anxious, thinkign I needed to get over their as we were living out of town. (Synergy 2) I had only come back to town because she was dying, having not talked to my mom in years. About a half hour later, my Stepdad calls, tells me my Grandmother has passed. I asked when, he said, "About a half hour ago." (Add 1+2)
Now I hoped everyone was alright. I let it slide and thought "can't do anything anyway" so there was no use in worrying myself.
Before we went we were also talking alot about Censorship, O&A, Imus, and the current topics. After thinking ti over, I realized it wasn't about anything these people said, but what we could say in the future. (How it took me long enough to come to that conclusions, forest for the trees.) I decided I'd take a stance that made sense to me, Patrice O'neal put it best that "Everyone should be able to say everything."
So we are walking around the place, called Treasure Island, complete with pirate statue, and we are talking to a lady about Stained glass (she makes it) for the windows in our doors. All of a sudden I get hot, cold, and nausea all at once. I had to start walking immediately. Not knowing what caused it all of a sudden. I knew walking around would clear it for some reason. It did. We loop around get back to that row, one aisle up, and cut across where we walked away, as we wanted to see the other end of the aisle I got sick at. as we alked past, but twenty feet from the Stained glass booth, I see something Red. It's a blood flag. It's rolled up to hide the sigil, and below it is a Nazi Propaganda poster. I look to see another, and another hanging on the wall. My blood boils, but I don't feel sick anymore. I feel pissed. My first instinct is burn it. My second involves my fists. My third tells me to chill.
I did at this point express my distaste loud enough for at least a dozen people to hear, and without censoring myself. I'm thinking "Burn IT!" but my impulses can't get the best of me. I'm thinking of some visual terror I could launch at this guy, which makes me feel better for a minute. I lodge a complaint at the office of the building, and feel like a hypocrit. While it's uncalled for, by any measure, I know what's happening. I'm testing myself as I always do, allowing the universe to become a virtual playground mirroring what's on my mind at the time. Am I a hypocrit? I know what that flag is, I know what's in those posters. Fucking evil is what it is. Black magic. Pure hate. But everyone should ba able to say everything. I'm torn, and it's still on my head right now.
Like to hear your opinion, whatever it is.
3'LL