Anyone lost their dad??

[wideawake]

I lost my dad when i was small and this song just gets me all the time:(

Luther Van Dross-Dance With My Father Again - YouTube

Sorry people but listen to the words.:(

[cheeb]

yes i know what you mean

i lost my grandad recently

all the treasures in the world are nothing
if i could just spend another minute with him that would be more precious than gold

[shodan]

I havn't lost my dad yet but my parent's are old. I'll never forget watching one of my best mates go through it, makes me cry when I think about what he went through and what I will go through.

[wideawake]

The good memories will outweigh all the sorrow;) They always do:)

[supertzar]

My Dad died when I was a kid, too. What I would give to have an all night conversation with him now. He taught me a lot while he was here. One of the smartest and kindest people I have known by far.

[jinjo5]

Its a fact of life we lose everyone........
Isnt it strange though that funerals n weddings cause the most aggro
in familys..........why is that,do you think?
Cos everyone is out for themselves.
Humans are not social animals.

[wideawake]

My Dad died when I was a kid, too. What I would give to have an all night conversation with him now. He taught me a lot while he was here. One of the smartest and kindest people I have known by far.;) I know how you feel. I am now older than my dad when he died:eek: 6 yrs to be precise and i think about him every day:)

[fantana]

Its a fact of life we lose everyone........
Isnt it strange though that funerals n weddings cause the most aggro
in familys..........why is that,do you think?
Cos everyone is out for themselves.
Humans are not social animals.

Or rather, it is due to the over crossing of lines held by individuals own space requirements. Police have been using scientific evidence to control crowds, by giving them more space.

Space requirements differ from country to country (Italy being the most intimate) and from town to City.

Sales representatives have found that when selling equipment to farmers a wave from 10 feet away produces better results than a hand shake, due to the farmers own private space needs.

With all the tension at such events, boundaries will be stepped over. Perhaps this plays in why some families don't get on.

[supertzar]

Humans are not social animals.

That's funny, because one of the earliest lessons in Sociology I got from the old professor himself was that humans are, in fact, social beings.

[supertzar]

;) I know how you feel. I am now older than my dad when he died:eek: 6 yrs to be precise and i think about him every day:)

I'm sure he would be proud to see how beautiful and intelligent you grew up to be.

[wideawake]

Its a fact of life we lose everyone........
Isnt it strange though that funerals n weddings cause the most aggro
in familys..........why is that,do you think?
Cos everyone is out for themselves.
Humans are not social animals.:confused: It sure is a fact but untill you experience it it seems so much more than just a fact:( However, I see what you mean

[wideawake]

yes i know what you mean

i lost my grandad recently

all the treasures in the world are nothing
if i could just spend another minute with him that would be more precious than gold;) i know exactly how you feel and im sorry for your loss:(

[wideawake]

I'm sure he would be proud to see how beautiful and intelligent you grew up to be.thankyou:D

[wideawake]

My Dad died when I was a kid, too. What I would give to have an all night conversation with him now. He taught me a lot while he was here. One of the smartest and kindest people I have known by far.I found my dad to be smart too, it's funny cos you always look up to them cos you were so small when they died but there is always something ther guiding you and you cant put your finger on it. But you know they are always there looking out for you;)

[jinjo5]

:confused: It sure is a fact but untill you experience it it seems so much more than just a fact:( However, I see what you mean
Its more than a fact,you put money into the equation......then you will see the true nature of most people.............you come in to this world,you go out alone.............what is the dominant factor.....YOU............
at the end of the day,that is what it boils down to.....YOU.

[supertzar]

I don't know. When you are born, you are connected with your mother in more ways than one. We don't even know we are separate from our parents until years later. In a healthy culture the illusion of separateness is probably very faint.

[cheeb]

its odd to me really that people have said to me that time heals all wounds

it helps ,he was on my mind every minute of every day ,now after 9 months ,ide say at least once an hour and im sure he wouldnt want me to be like this ,but greif is an unexpected emotion that pays you a visit wqhen you are least expecting it

i hpe now he becomes a less freuquent visitor and can now start to focus not on what we should have done but what we did do
im not there yet because i miss him so much.

[tinmenace]

My father passed on when I was about 27. He and I had been estranged for a few years when he died. I remember feeling immense relief when I found out that he had passed. His tortured life had ended, and I could finally exhale.

A month later I received a parcel from my sister in law, and inside was a letter that I had written to my Dad years before. Attached was a note in her handwriting, and it said "This letter was under your Dad's pillow when he died".

It broke my heart because when I was a young child, my Dad told me that I would dream about whatever I put under my pillow. So, he and I would spend hours collecting old insect wings (I was convinced they were faerie wings) and flowers, and every night I would put these under my pillow so that I could dream of them.

My Dad had placed that old letter from me under his pillow so that he could dream of me, and that's where they found it when he died.

Even though, for years, I refused to talk to him, and had moved to another continent, he never stopped thinking of me.

It took me several more years to forgive him for choosing alcohol over his family. It took that long for the bad memories to fade, and now I'm left only with the good memories. It's ironic how I now have a great relationship with my father, even though I can't see him...

[cheeb]

thankyou timand ace that was a very moving peice you wrote there

[phoenix1]

I lost my dad when i was small and this song just gets me all the time:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvW6nuQ2B0s

Sorry people but listen to the words.:(

Me too widawake...when i was 8 in 1974....Its a tranistion that's all, painfull sure, but, he's gone back the the ALL, in fact he never left honey.

ALL THE LOVE...AND HUGS


Phoenix

[phoenix1]

My father passed on when I was about 27. He and I had been estranged for a few years when he died. I remember feeling immense relief when I found out that he had passed. His tortured life had ended, and I could finally exhale.

A month later I received a parcel from my sister in law, and inside was a letter that I had written to my Dad years before. Attached was a note in her handwriting, and it said "This letter was under your Dad's pillow when he died".

It broke my heart because when I was a young child, my Dad told me that I would dream about whatever I put under my pillow. So, he and I would spend hours collecting old insect wings (I was convinced they were faerie wings) and flowers, and every night I would put these under my pillow so that I could dream of them.


My Dad had placed that old letter from me under his pillow so that he could dream of me, and that's where they found it when he died.

Even though, for years, I refused to talk to him, and had moved to another continent, he never stopped thinking of me.

It took me several more years to forgive him for choosing alcohol over his family. It took that long for the bad memories to fade, and now I'm left only with the good memories. It's ironic how I now have a great relationship with my father, even though I can't see him...



Yeah...like cheeb said there very poignient and mooving post....Cheeb..ALL is back as normal.

We have to go through loss, to appreciate a lot of things, the good memories allways return to outweight the bad.

In my case anyway.


We have a lot in common Tin

I'm sorry for all those missing anyone....It PROOVES you have the heartflame intact....

Musing on crossing....i'm looking forward to it...what a trip that will be!! Unified Again !!

Your interconnectivity is in nooooo doubt honey.

ContemplativePhoenix

[mcmenek1]

I lost my dad when i was small and this song just gets me all the time:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvW6nuQ2B0s

Sorry people but listen to the words.:(


Hi wideawake,

I'm sorry for you that you lost your dad when you were small......that must have been really hard for you........ I’ve just watched the video what a lovely song I can see why it means a lot to you.

I'm sure your dad's looking out for you.....and you will see him again one day....:)

Love
&
Peace

[auron]

When i was 14 my dad died of a brain tumor. It didn't really bother me because the last time i saw him i was 8. I heard he wasn't a nice person.

Auron :)

[johnpeters]

I lost my dad when i was small and this song just gets me all the time:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvW6nuQ2B0s

Sorry people but listen to the words.:(
I lost mine over 10 years ago and it still feels like yesterday.

What a bummer.

[tinmenace]

I can't read this thread without crying. Big hugs to everyone! I feel your sadness.

[mcmenek1]

My father passed on when I was about 27. He and I had been estranged for a few years when he died. I remember feeling immense relief when I found out that he had passed. His tortured life had ended, and I could finally exhale.

A month later I received a parcel from my sister in law, and inside was a letter that I had written to my Dad years before. Attached was a note in her handwriting, and it said "This letter was under your Dad's pillow when he died".

It broke my heart because when I was a young child, my Dad told me that I would dream about whatever I put under my pillow. So, he and I would spend hours collecting old insect wings (I was convinced they were faerie wings) and flowers, and every night I would put these under my pillow so that I could dream of them.

My Dad had placed that old letter from me under his pillow so that he could dream of me, and that's where they found it when he died.

Even though, for years, I refused to talk to him, and had moved to another continent, he never stopped thinking of me.

It took me several more years to forgive him for choosing alcohol over his family. It took that long for the bad memories to fade, and now I'm left only with the good memories. It's ironic how I now have a great relationship with my father, even though I can't see him...




Hi tinmenace,

Thanks for sharing your really moving story with us......I think fathers and daughters often have a special relationship together as I have with my young daughter........ although these relationships can become strained sometimes.

I'm glad your bad memories have been replaced with good ones and your relationship with your dad is good again......:)

Take care.....

Love
&
Peace

[misscpb]

I lost my dad when i was small and this song just gets me all the time:(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvW6nuQ2B0s

Sorry people but listen to the words.:(

Hi There, its a lovely song.

I am sure your dad loves that song to very much, even though his body has gone his spirit/soul lives on in another dimension.

[misscpb]

yes i know what you mean

i lost my grandad recently

all the treasures in the world are nothing
if i could just spend another minute with him that would be more precious than gold


I am sorry to hear about your loss, please know that it is only your grandads body/physical presence that has gone and that his spirit/soul lives on. He hears all your thoughts and I am sure is often around you. This is something I have experienced myself very much so.

Take Care

[wideawake]

Thankyou all so much for your thoughts, Some moving stuff there thanks for sharing:) I was six when he passed and not a day goes by when I don't think of him cos even though he is gone physically, mentally he has guided me;) Thankyou..

[roxanna222]

I dont know if this counts but my father is not dead but estranged from me. Its about the same I know nothing of him hear nothing and I felt sad but I have let go for the most part. The reason are my beliefs in short. Im a "nutter" and "insane" to him. He will not accept me if I have these convictions. I cant deny them or I would deny myself. So???? Its like a death. I will not deny myself and he will not accept me as I am. So for the moment our relation has ended. Its been some months since. Does this count?

[lottie]

I dont know if this counts but my father is not dead but estranged from me. Its about the same I know nothing of him hear nothing and I felt sad but I have let go for the most part. The reason are my beliefs in short. Im a "nutter" and "insane" to him. He will not accept me if I have these convictions. I cant deny them or I would deny myself. So???? Its like a death. I will not deny myself and he will not accept me as I am. So for the moment our relation has ended. Its been some months since. Does this count?

Thats a shame Rox- were you close to your father before he started to oppose your beliefs? Parents are strange things too sometimes- it amazes me how cold and selfish they can be sometimes- you litterally create a being whom you love unconditionally and then you spend the next 18 years trying to mould it into the personality YOU want and make it behave the way you want it to and have the same values and beliefs as you and how dare they have a different opinion to their parents! Not saying all but a lot do- especially those involed in religion! Maybe one day Rox- your Dad will realise its no matter if you have different beleifs from him an will learn to love that different part of you and accept it as part of your uniqueness!

Sorry to hear of all you losses on here- i havnt had this experience yet- but im sure it wont be long- when it does i shalln't be sad- more relieved for him- he's never been happy in this world- battled all his life to be individual and lost miserably within the constraints of this system battled with alcoholism, depression and MH issues- so i for one will be happy for him and eagerly await my turn!! :)

Auron- quite often our 'families' turn out to be the ones we 'choose' ie- our friends, thats the way i look at it- i have been let down all my life by my biological parents and so far learned that i can only rely on 'me', those who were meant to protect me didnt, those who were meant to keep me safe didnt, those who were meant to love me unconditionally- didnt show that when it mattered, so i came to the conclusion that i would pick my own family- i think family is over-rated anyway, im content with it just being 'me'- then i know i dont get let down, im always there for me, i dont lie to me! i have many friends who fill the void where family are meant to sit and often i find them more loyal than my family!! or better still- make your own family- i fully intend to one day- when its a little more settled in the world- couldnt think of anything worse than bringing a child into the world right now- its not a nice place to be right now!!

[roxanna222]

Hey Lottie,
Well I wouldnt say very close. I always knew he was uncomfortable with me talking of leaving my body and such stuff. He sensed this coming I feel. He cant accept me for who I am based on my beliefs. We were close enough to talk on yes superficial things and both live in other countries. But things came to a head and well I said my truth as he asked for that and so boom there it is he cant get his head around it. Luckily Ive been in touch with another family member who may just accept me still dont know but worth a shot. I do feel though via our friends etc thats our real family. I agree with you there. Luck to you and with your father. Bless honey

[synergy777]

no one ever really dies, remember that.

let the death cults that bury you in the dirt carry on with their arigculture based doctrines. you soul is unperishable. people who are scared of death, never live. its time to break free of medival thinking, people thought the earth was flat, why, thats what they saw, lol. delete draconian programming, the soul, the kingdom of heaven is within.

[peter19]

syn its good to see you about mate.:) . yeah i ahvent had my mam and dad "die" yet but when they do it will be testing times. look at it this way too, we all know that we are all going to die and the people we love will too so if death was the finally (which i dont think it is) we should be spending most of our lives deppressed/sad becasuse one day we are not going to exist on this plain and neither are the people we love. i like what buddhists say and it something like dont attach to things because when you attach to things all it creates is you too suffer, and in this physical world nothing will last forever. so attachment to people/ things in the long run creates suffering. its easy to say though its hard not to attach.

[cheeb]

but then most religions would say that suffering /submissioin is thbe whole purpose of life
you dont live for the here and now
you store your treasures in another place

in buddahsm,christiaNITY,islam,
i cant beleive this to be true
as i know "youve only got one life"

so make the most of it

the spotlight of history has fallen on us in a most amazing time in human history
and we are truly living in interesting times

or we wouldnt be here