'Tinternet

[brainfreeze]

'Tinternet

What was your childhood like?
He asked with a smirk she couldn't see
Undoing his belt
He released his intent
To be mean
Reaching out to her
From his keyboard to her screen
He took her on an acid burn
Trip back to yester-year
And though he couldn't see
The tears she spilled
Like alcohol into a raw wound
Nor feel the line he cut
That made her sick
Like a stranger's candy did
When offered to a kid
He tasted her fear
Imagined it
Vivid
While she relived it
Giving it life again with a pulse
In the palm of his hand
He brought himself to the brink
Of Euphoria
Creating his own personal Frankenstein
While a small child begged
Please daddy no

He shot his load
Logged off and went to bed.

[tinmenace]

'Tinternet

What was your childhood like?
He asked with a smirk she couldn't see
Undoing his belt
He released his intent
To be mean
Reaching out to her
From his keyboard to her screen
He took her on an acid burn
Trip back to yester-year
And though he couldn't see
The tears she spilled
Like alcohol into a raw wound
Nor feel the line he cut
That made her sick
Like a stranger's candy did
When offered to a kid
He tasted her fear
Imagined it
Vivid
While she relived it
Giving it life again with a pulse
In the palm of his hand
He brought himself to the brink
Of Euphoria
Creating his own personal Frankenstein
While a small child begged
Please daddy no

He shot his load
Logged off and went to bed.

Did you write this?

[brainfreeze]

I did.

[tinmenace]

It's very good.

[brainfreeze]

It's very good.






It's awful, but thanks. Wrote it after a nasty experience, which is why I'm not nice or welcoming on the Tinternet no more.

[tinmenace]

It's awful, but thanks. Wrote it after a nasty experience, which is why I'm not nice or welcoming on the Tinternet no more.

The subject matter is not pleasant but it's very well written.

[brainfreeze]

The subject matter is not pleasant but it's very well written.





Thank you. I have stopped writing for some time now, gave myself space to heal, but recently, after watching a tribute to Harold Pinter I've been inspired to rejoin a class and get the flow back. Hopefully with nicer content.

[tinmenace]

Thank you. I have stopped writing for some time now, gave myself space to heal, but recently, after watching a tribute to Harold Pinter I've been inspired to rejoin a class and get the flow back. Hopefully with nicer content.

Yeah, it seems that the most powerful art often comes from a place of pain or suffering.

I'm glad you've found renewed inspiration. I look forward to more from you. :)

[merlincove]

Thank you. I have stopped writing for some time now, gave myself space to heal, but recently, after watching a tribute to Harold Pinter I've been inspired to rejoin a class and get the flow back. Hopefully with nicer content.

you have a magic with words brainfreezem for sure, and you write a little like i used to, that wordiness and delivery, though the subject darkness is only ever apparent, like you say from personal experience, which i never had.

it was hard to read, as the subject matter always will be, but that doesn't make it any less skillfully written.

words are great for expressionalism, and i think when we tap into that, we tap into a subconscious self, whether that is a higher vibe or a lower on, i guess that depends on experience.

hopefully your class will help you get back into flow, and from that, your true expressionalism will shine out :D

[brainfreeze]

you have a magic with words brainfreezem for sure, and you write a little like i used to, that wordiness and delivery, though the subject darkness is only ever apparent, like you say from personal experience, which i never had.

it was hard to read, as the subject matter always will be, but that doesn't make it any less skillfully written.

words are great for expressionalism, and i think when we tap into that, we tap into a subconscious self, whether that is a higher vibe or a lower on, i guess that depends on experience.

hopefully your class will help you get back into flow, and from that, your true expressionalism will shine out :D

Thank you merlincove. They say an artist needs his angst. I've tried but I'm not good at writting the fluffy happy stuff, much to my BF's dismay. He would so love me to tell him what he means to me in verse. He even wrote a tune for me to set the words to to encourage me. Maybe sometime soon I will.

Thanks for the lovely things you've said and the encouragement, both you and tinmenace

[merlincove]

:D

i'm actually trying to dig out, from long lost files, a piece i wrote years ago called 'dreamworks' - it has a very similar style to your piece here, that fluidness, but is kinda fluffy.

I wrote that just after readin pollen by Jeff Noon, and i think that when you read others' books sometimes it inspires you to reach out and write, taps into somethin and allows you to flow into that creative space.

Or that may just be me, but i think that sometimes when you link into that vibe by reading works that have the ability to touch you, you can then flow, and let your own inner works flow out - the book kinda becomes a key to it all.

Have you read anything by Jeff Noon? if you are into reading i'd recomend his first book, vurt, totally blew my mind and realy opened something within me.

As you can imagine, i do tend to write fluffy, trippy stuff, is where my head is at :D

Have never written a song though, i think 'verse' is almost a cage for expression sometimes, that you have to make the words fit somethin, when really we need to have the words free, and then maybe your bf can create the music to go with that, rather than the other way around - you don't seem like a girl who's flow can be set into a rigid format, you have that freedom of movement that won't allow your love to be tied down by a song - say what you feel and let him do all the hard work ;)

[tinmenace]

:D

i'm actually trying to dig out, from long lost files, a piece i wrote years ago called 'dreamworks' - it has a very similar style to your piece here, that fluidness, but is kinda fluffy.

I wrote that just after readin pollen by Jeff Noon, and i think that when you read others' books sometimes it inspires you to reach out and write, taps into somethin and allows you to flow into that creative space.

Or that may just be me, but i think that sometimes when you link into that vibe by reading works that have the ability to touch you, you can then flow, and let your own inner works flow out - the book kinda becomes a key to it all.

Have you read anything by Jeff Noon? if you are into reading i'd recomend his first book, vurt, totally blew my mind and realy opened something within me.

As you can imagine, i do tend to write fluffy, trippy stuff, is where my head is at :D

Have never written a song though, i think 'verse' is almost a cage for expression sometimes, that you have to make the words fit somethin, when really we need to have the words free, and then maybe your bf can create the music to go with that, rather than the other way around - you don't seem like a girl who's flow can be set into a rigid format, you have that freedom of movement that won't allow your love to be tied down by a song - say what you feel and let him do all the hard work ;)


Dig harder. We're waiting ;)

[merlincove]

Dig harder. We're waiting ;)



i think its gana be a case of finding the magazine it was written in and copying it out..... i cant find it on the tinterweb :mad:

[tinmenace]

i think its gana be a case of finding the magazine it was written in and copying it out..... i cant find it on the tinterweb :mad:

:( :o :( :o :(


:D

[brainfreeze]

I would love to read some of your stuff. I've sent you a pm. I was going to post it but ended up talking too much and don't want it on the web :p