taxi drivers

[bicycle]

THE brains of taxi drivers have an inbuilt natural ability to bore the shit out of you, according to new research.


Scientists scanned the brains of 200 taxi drivers and discovered a neuro-processor that not only identifies the most expensive route between any two points in London, but also makes passengers leap from the vehicle within 90 seconds.

The taxi brain, say the researchers, is filled with angry thoughts about the last thing it heard on the Jeremy Vine show, or has a series of hilarious observations provoked by a Five Live phone-in about Man City.

Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "The normal brain would be aware of a passenger switching off the intercom and take this as a signal to just shut it.

"The taxi brain, however, recognises this as a signal to switch it back on so the passenger can hear its ingenious solution to non-EU immigration and why West Ham have performed a masterstroke with the appointment of Gianfranco Zola."

He added: "It will then tell you that Jeremy Clarkson should be prime minister before lecturing you on the dangers of inattentive African mini-cab drivers while constantly looking over its shoulder at you."

Brubaker said the final phase of his research involves removing the brains from the taxi drivers, putting them on a table and hitting them repeatedly with a hammer.

He added: "It won't tell us an awful lot more about the brains, but it will completely destroy them."

[notthisshitagain]

http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn109/crazyassferret/ROFL_MAO.jpg

Your posts are awesome!

[w1nstonsm1th84]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1253&Itemid=59

:rolleyes: :-/

[moonshine]

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1253&Itemid=59

:rolleyes: :-/

MASTERS OF UNIVERSE FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY

:eek:LMAO!:D

[lostinstrangeworld]

LOL.

That taxi article is so silly. :p

[homebrew1973]

What I`m going to say is 100% true but unbelievable, on christmas day 2004 two taxi drivers pulled up and asked me for directions! Don`t they know what street maps are? :rolleyes:

[phaid]

What I`m going to say is 100% true but unbelievable, on christmas day 2004 two taxi drivers pulled up and asked me for directions! Don`t they know what street maps are? :rolleyes:

They don't know what bicycles look like either, they're always trying to have me off, and it's not the ferking Law of Attraction either...

'Yoo'll nevvvah guess 'oo I 'ad in the back o' me caaab larst week, mate.....'

Oh go on, do tell....http://img2.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/indifferent/indifferent0009.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-animal-smileys.php)

[delamo1999]

What I`m going to say is 100% true but unbelievable, on christmas day 2004 two taxi drivers pulled up and asked me for directions! Don`t they know what street maps are? :rolleyes:


Here is a story for you. One night me and my partner were driving down a busy road when all of a sudden this cab driver started flashing us to speed up. My partner refused to and actually slowed down. This really pissed the cab driver off so he got into the next lane and started honking at us as he was driving by. All of a sudden he cuts us off and starts to turn left. He was so enraged that he did not realize that he was driving into oncoming traffic and as a result ran his cab into a building that had a large picture window. As we drove by all we saw was the back end of the cab poking out of the broken window.

I can only guess that someone called the police as I wanted to get out of there.

:)

[homebrew1973]

I`ve even had someone with one of those sat-nav gadgets switched on pull up and ask directions :confused: I just pointed to where the place was and said "go over there, it`s nearer" :D

I don`t and can`t drive myself but it never ceases to amaze me while as a passenger just how many people who are normally nice and friendly become totally arrogant when behind the wheel, almost like Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde :eek:

[bicycle]

They don't know what bicycles look like either, they're always trying to have me off, and it's not the ferking Law of Attraction either...

'Yoo'll nevvvah guess 'oo I 'ad in the back o' me caaab larst week, mate.....'

Oh go on, do tell....http://img2.mysmiley.net/imgs/smile/indifferent/indifferent0009.gif (http://www.mysmiley.net/free-animal-smileys.php)

Ain't that the truth:rolleyes:

[rixxmixxhell]

I`ve even had someone with one of those sat-nav gadgets switched on pull up and ask directions :confused: I just pointed to where the place was and said "go over there, it`s nearer" :D

I don`t and can`t drive myself but it never ceases to amaze me while as a passenger just how many people who are normally nice and friendly become totally arrogant when behind the wheel, almost like Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde :eek:


Hey mate, see this about what you said regarding behaviour change in people driving, your bang on, and the link is very insightful! (may need to scan text, the part about trance-portation mind control is at the top of the page.


http://illuminatimatrix.wordpress.com/tranceportation-aleister-crowley-oto-auto-the-last-supper-california-and-the-rose-line-the-real-da-vinci-code-the-mother-highway-route-66-eye-interstate-grid-flanders-fields/

Rick

[shodan]

I'm a driver. lol. and man have I got some stories for you, like the masons I picked up that wouldn't tell me where they wanted to go, just directed me on a mad convoluted route to somewhere.........
oh and errr.....whats a bicycle? :D

edit: get memtally prepared too, rumour has it, but I'll have to verify this, that immigrants don't have to do a knowledge test before getting their badge, and the government is paying firms to hire immigrants. just gossip as I say

[lostinstrangeworld]

Vanessa Paradis - Joe le Taxi - YouTube

[phaid]

oh and errr.....whats a bicycle? :D



It's a man or woman on a two-wheeled conveyance propelled by his or her own leg power with a set of keys in his or her hand aiming for your paintwork if you're not careful, old son...;)

[shodan]

lol

[bicycle]

.whats a bicycle? :D



Something you might have to get used to as petrol goes up and up and up:D

Dont worry i shall say hello as i pass you uphill:D

[shodan]

Something you might have to get used to as petrol goes up and up and up:D

Dont worry i shall say hello as i pass you uphill:D

lol. :D
Diesels going down at the moment, I can fit your bike in the back if your legs get tired, but I'd have to put you on a higher tarrif :D

[lostinstrangeworld]

It's a man or woman on a two-wheeled conveyance propelled by his or her own leg power with a set of keys in his or her hand aiming for your paintwork if you're not careful, old son...;)

Tee-hee! :p

[notthisshitagain]

I don`t and can`t drive myself but it never ceases to amaze me while as a passenger just how many people who are normally nice and friendly become totally arrogant when behind the wheel, almost like Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde :eek:

http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=L0B7lneZe2w

http://i302.photobucket.com/albums/nn109/crazyassferret/onion19.gifLike this?

[bicycle]

lol. :D
Diesels going down at the moment, I can fit your bike in the back if your legs get tired, but I'd have to put you on a higher tarrif :D

I never get tired of cycling;)