Suicidal thoughts

[the infinite one]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

[i_am]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

No sorry, I have never thought anything or anyone was worth taking my own life over.

Having said that, however, I understand where you are coming from. Its groundhog day. The world is crazy, it is all bullshit but only you can make changes to your life and your thoughts.

A few years back I went to the doctor because I thought I had chronic fatigue, didn't want to get out of bed and was always tired. He told me I was suffering from depression to which I scoffed as I have never been 'depressed' in my life. When he asked me when was the last time I cried and when was the last time I was truly happy, I was stunned because I realized that I didn't feel anything and had become quite reclusive. He did blood tests and found there was a physical problem as well. I knew what I was dealing with then, and I have never looked back.

Good always wins over evil :p :D :o You have to believe that

[shadow cat]

Hi! What's triggering these thoughts ITO ?

[narcolepticwatchman]

No sorry, I have never thought anything or anyone was worth taking my own life over.

Having said that, however, I understand where you are coming from. Its groundhog day. The world is crazy, it is all bullshit but only you can make changes to your life and your thoughts.

A few years back I went to the doctor because I thought I had chronic fatigue, didn't want to get out of bed and was always tired. He told me I was suffering from depression to which I scoffed as I have never been 'depressed' in my life. When he asked me when was the last time I cried and when was the last time I was truly happy, I was stunned because I realized that I didn't feel anything and had become quite reclusive. He did blood tests and found there was a physical problem as well. I knew what I was dealing with then, and I have never looked back.

Good always wins over evil :p :D :o You have to believe that

Did you take medication for the depression?

[tinmenace]

Yes, the negative energy is very VERY strong here lately, especially over the last week. It's not just you. Please go to the health store and buy yourself a good vitamin B-Complex. Take two a day for the first week or two and then go down to one a day. Your life will change dramatically!! Please please please trust me on this. Go now!!!

I have suffered depression all my life. I know exactly what you are talking about and it makes me very sad. Please don't hesitate, go now!

[the infinite one]

I don't really know what's triggering it.

I guess I'm feeling drained from work and other shit, keep repeating the same shit.

Perhaps I need a holiday or a break.

I feel like there's many personalities in mr that are at battle i.e. the ego fighting for its survival

[shadow cat]

Hi again! You may be suffering from S.A.D. ie. Sunlight Affective Disorder. Vit D is good for this, although I would suggest going to a health professional to get yourself checked over. Been there done that, I know how it feels.

[hagbard_celine]

Have you contacted these guys yet?:

http://www.samaritans.org/

Don't give up, TIO. There are times when the world looks as if nothing good can happen again, but that can sometimes be the darkness before the brightest dawn. We're here for you!

[shadow cat]

Have you contacted these guys yet?:

http://www.samaritans.org/

Don't give up, TIO. There are times when the world looks as if nothing good can happen again, but that can sometimes be the darkness before the brightest dawn. We're here for you!

Hi, This is good advice. It's great to talk to someone at this time...just do it ITO!! There's some love on it's way to you right now :)

[narcolepticwatchman]

I was asking bout medication earlier because I don't think its the answer.......natural vitamins yes, change in diet most certainly(plenty of fruit and veg for vitamins without supplements)

These type of drugs work on the same parts of the brain that extasty does. They are poison. I steered a friend away from them and I was so glad he took the advice. He is feeling much better these days and is glad he never took them either.

[gremlin]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

hey dont give up! chin up and go for a beer with ya mates. ive been there done that. just breath you will get over it

[cheeb]

Hi again! You may be suffering from S.A.D. ie. Sunlight Affective Disorder. Vit D is good for this, although I would suggest going to a health professional to get yourself checked over. Been there done that, I know how it feels.



I duobt that Mr "the infinate one" is suffering from S.A.D weve just having a glorious summer here and its only spring

I suggest he is suffering from Bradford

Get yourself down to St ives in Cornwall You'll love it

you can also ring the samaritans from there

nearest branch Bristol

[i_am]

Did you take medication for the depression?

No!!! I do not take any medication.

[i_am]

Hi again! You may be suffering from S.A.D. ie. Sunlight Affective Disorder. Vit D is good for this, although I would suggest going to a health professional to get yourself checked over. Been there done that, I know how it feels.

Article on SAD.

http://www.outsidein.co.uk/sadinfo.htm


Regardless of what health 'professionals' say, I love the sun. I can feel it giving me energy. When we work indoors for long hours we are seriously not getting enough vitamin D. Everything in moderation. Yes, also a good balanced diet and vitamin supplements are good advice.

[cleft_asunder]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

Well you answered your own question: the world is crazy. We are in the darkest times right now; the climax. The huge push of the NWO controllers. We've been in bondage for thousands of years, so it's a natural reaction to be depressed. Within 5 years our world will be turned upside down. If I had enough money for 5 years, I would quite my job.

[tinmenace]

Well you answered your own question: the world is crazy. We are in the darkest times right now; the climax. The huge push of the NWO controllers. We've been in bondage for thousands of years, so it's a natural reaction to be depressed. Within 5 years our world will be turned upside down. If I had enough money for 5 years, I would quite my job.

Yes, I have to say that I believe you are 100% correct. The entire vibe has been very desperate and urgent lately. They are in a panic!

[cleft_asunder]

Article on SAD.

Regardless of what health 'professionals' say, I love the sun. I can feel it giving me energy. When we work indoors for long hours we are seriously not getting enough vitamin D. Everything in moderation. Yes, also a good balanced diet and vitamin supplements are good advice.

I don't believe the sun needs to be taken in moderation. If you spend the whole day outside, it's good for you. Notice how everyone wears sunglasses now, even when it's overcast outside. In extreme cases, all day long and at night. This isn't about fasion, but fasion was used as a conduite for mass acceptance. Wearing sunglasses makes your eyes more and more sensitive, and you become depressed.

Eyeglass tinting is also a part of the plan. So are tinted windows. To this day I refuse to tint my car windows.

[Ian2day]

Have you contacted these guys yet?:

http://www.samaritans.org/

Don't give up, TIO. There are times when the world looks as if nothing good can happen again, but that can sometimes be the darkness before the brightest dawn. We're here for you!

I could write a book and then some... But I'll just say, find a professional to talk things over with. There is fast food and then good nutritious food. The same applies with counselling services.
I could suggest that you are experiencing anomie as characterised by Emile Durkheim in the book: The Division of Labour in Society. Or I could say go and find what it is that you enjoy doing, what gives you bliss. Do not stop before you find it. If stuck in a rut. Do something out of the ordinary.

Say yes to the next five suggestions for going out, whatever they may be. Try to find something creative that you enjoy doing. I know someone that makes furniture from old wooden pallets that they get for free. Travel the beach picking up driftwood and turn the finds into carvings. Join a band, even if it is only to play the triangle. Join an adult education class and see how many lonely middle aged housewives you can score with!

Just do something different, because what ever it is that you are doing now, it is not working. Only by changing your routine will you change the internalisation of the oppression and exploitation which is manifesting as depression. Do something new each day. Recreate your reality.

[a fine naked fellow]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

The infinite one,
I wont attempt to give you any advice on your predicament.
I wont tell you the fist step to get out of feeling so blue.
I wont tell you to be happy or clear when the world feels like shit.

I just hope you find this message well, well enough to hear me, in your present state.
I only wish to say you have every right to fell as you do, and there is nothing wrong.
Either with it or you. Everyone has the right to bleed.

I will also make an attempt to remind you, even if you can find no solace in it now.
That in particular they way you feel about something is just that, and may not be true in reality.

Also know you are valued, and though you may not comprehend it, I do.
You are connected to me through the written word, and thought, as well as impossible actions.
And one action transcends all boundary.

And if you go, you will be missed.
Keep your head up and handle this. And if you can’t, handle that too.
And if we don’t cross paths anymore, know that I will recall you across the time and space.

[lenejento]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

Hi The Infinite One

I've felt exacly like you, and it's not that long ago either. I had suicidal thoughts. I was so extremely frustrated inside sometimes, and I'd cheer myself up, but the feelings would come back again and again, and I was sick, so sick of it. Now I'm much better, if I ever have a suicidal thought in low moments now I think, no way, NO WAY am I going to do that, because it just doesen't make any sense for me to go that way anymore. Saying that, I still know exacly how you feel, because I've been through it.

What helped for me was finding the truth about who I really am, and when you really experience that truth for yourself you'll never have suicidal thoughts again, or if they do come again you'll see the absurdity in them. I needed the hard core experience of the truth of who I am and Gangaji is who pointed me in the right direction. Oneness is true, but it's not always enough to just know it intellectually as we've all probably felt at times(?)

Here are the videos I watched: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=gangaji+duration%3Along&so=0&num=10

I really hope this is what you needed, but if it's not, I hope you get it :)

Lot's of peace and love!

Edit: by the way, my favorite vids and the ones I find good to start with are Still In Awareness and Being in Peace.

[cleft_asunder]

The infinite one,
I wont attempt to give you any advice on your predicament.
I wont tell you the fist step to get out of feeling so blue.
I wont tell you to be happy or clear when the world feels like shit.

I just hope you find this message well, well enough to hear me, in your present state.
I only wish to say you have every right to fell as you do, and there is nothing wrong.
Either with it or you. Everyone has the right to bleed.

I will also make an attempt to remind you, even if you can find no solace in it now.
That in particular they way you feel about something is just that, and may not be true in reality.

Also know you are valued, and though you may not comprehend it, I do.
You are connected to me through the written word, and thought, as well as impossible actions.
And one action transcends all boundary.

And if you go, you will be missed.
Keep your head up and handle this. And if you can’t, handle that too.
And if we don’t cross paths anymore, know that I will recall you across the time and space.


He said he was having suicidal thoughts, he didn't say he was going to commit suicide. Huge difference.

[tru3]

I could write a book and then some... But I'll just say, find a professional to talk things over with. There is fast food and then good nutritious food. The same applies with counselling services.
I could suggest that you are experiencing anomie as characterised by Emile Durkheim in the book: The Division of Labour in Society. Or I could say go and find what it is that you enjoy doing, what gives you bliss. Do not stop before you find it. If stuck in a rut. Do something out of the ordinary.

Say yes to the next five suggestions for going out, whatever they may be. Try to find something creative that you enjoy doing. I know someone that makes furniture from old wooden pallets that they get for free. Travel the beach picking up driftwood and turn the finds into carvings. Join a band, even if it is only to play the triangle. Join an adult education class and see how many lonely middle aged housewives you can score with!

Just do something different, because what ever it is that you are doing now, it is not working. Only by changing your routine will you change the internalisation of the oppression and exploitation which is manifesting as depression. Do something new each day. Recreate your reality.

excellent advice! i suffered from depression from my teens until early forties (no pharmas!), and it always helps me to find something to help me feel better (not necessarily good, just better ;) ), even if it's just for five minutes.

make a list of things that bring you joy, and put it up on the refrigerator. look at it when you get up, and before you go to bed. it doesn't have to be expensive, exciting, or inebriating (although, sometimes you just gotta say what the eff! lol). then, act on it. i love the smell of chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven, so i make batches for my neighbors (well, half a batch for them, half for me! lol).

another thing me wife always tells me is to do something nice for someone else; you know, senseless acts of kindness. :) since i'm not much of a "people person" by nature, i would go down to the humane society (dog and cat shelter) and volunteer.

now THAT'S a smile! :)

[a fine naked fellow]

He said he was having suicidal thoughts, he didn't say he was going to commit suicide. Huge difference.

I never implied suicide smart ass.

[lenejento]

excellent advice! i suffered from depression from my teens until early forties (no pharmas!), and it always helps me to find something to help me feel better (not necessarily good, just better ;) ), even if it's just for five minutes.

make a list of things that bring you joy, and put it up on the refrigerator. look at it when you get up, and before you go to bed. it doesn't have to be expensive, exciting, or inebriating (although, sometimes you just gotta say what the eff! lol). then, act on it. i love the smell of chocolate chip cookies coming out of the oven, so i make batches for my neighbors (well, half a batch for them, half for me! lol).

another thing me wife always tells me is to do something nice for someone else; you know, senseless acts of kindness. :) since i'm not much of a "people person" by nature, i would go down to the humane society (dog and cat shelter) and volunteer.

now THAT'S a smile! :)

Yes the advice are great! Both doing something creative, going out doing something that you love and doing acts of kindness :)

This thread is heart warming because it just shows how we all (humans) just care about each other so much!

[tru3]

Yes the advice are great! Both doing something creative, going out doing something that you love and doing acts of kindness :)

This thread is heart warming because it just shows how we all (humans) just care about each other so much!

You're an interesting species. An interesting mix. You're capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you're not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we've found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.

-contact

[i_am]

I don't believe the sun needs to be taken in moderation. If you spend the whole day outside, it's good for you. Notice how everyone wears sunglasses now, even when it's overcast outside. In extreme cases, all day long and at night. This isn't about fasion, but fasion was used as a conduite for mass acceptance. Wearing sunglasses makes your eyes more and more sensitive, and you become depressed.

Eyeglass tinting is also a part of the plan. So are tinted windows. To this day I refuse to tint my car windows.

If you have been keeping out of the sun, it would be foolish to go out and burn yourself to a cinder. And sunblock is not a good thing. The amount of time you can spend out there depends on your skin. I do not use sunblock/screen, I do not wear sunglasses and I do not have tinted windows but I no longer stay out there until I am well done.

[whitenight639]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

hey your not alone iv been thinking bout suicide recently (i was going to start this thread!) and i found out the other day my mate tried to. If you've read any of my posts you lot will know why.

[tru3]

If you have been keeping out of the sun, it would be foolish to go out and burn yourself to a cinder. And sunblock is not a good thing. The amount of time you can spend out there depends on your skin. I do not use sunblock/screen, I do not wear sunglasses and I do not have tinted windows but I no longer stay out there until I am well done.

thanks, i am.

i don't want to hijack this thread, but real quick, 3 weird things happened before and during my recent holiday:

1) i lost my clip on shades,
2) they stopped making clip-ons for my frame, which are only a year old,
3) i bought a cheap pair, and they were taken off my head in a big gust of wind and swept over the side of a boat. i kid you not

i guess i'm not supposed to be wearing shades. :rolleyes:

[limelady]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?


Hi there infinite one.

You've had a lot of really good advice from people who really care, but when you're in this very gloomy, lonely place, even the very best and most well intentioned advice can just overwhelms us sometimes.

I'm relating to what you're feeling because just lately every day has been a battle for me also. Sometimes I feel so tired of it all, tired of the daily routines, the expectations, the futility of it all. I simply just don't feel I belong here anymore, and I'm suspecting you're feeling the same way.

No amount of medication or nutritionals will take this feeling away entirely, as it comes from deep, deep within us - from soul level, and has little to do with normal depression. We're sensing a chaotic change happening all around us, and we're feeling that we've just had enough of the battering we get here every day. Battle wary would be a good way to describe this feeling, and its likely some of us here on the planet at the moment have been round this karmic merry-go-round just one too many times. We've just had enough! We sense the end is near and we're just dying to get of this futile ride so we can go on and experience so much more than this false reality that kept drawing us back

Having said that, some of us have very likely elected to come back....or be here for this very last ride for reasons we are not even aware of at the moment. You may be one of these people, and if so, you need a certain amount of faith or inner knowing to keep you going until all is finally revealed to you....which it will be little by little. But the waiting can be staggeringly hard - like climbing up mountain after mountain wearing a bag of bricks on our backs....but never reaching the top where we would have a clear view all round.

If you are one of these people who elected to come back into physical form and live once more in this grossly unrefined 3D reality, its possible you may be feeling an inner sense of loss and sadness for what you chose to leave behind to come here again, and of course without the benefit of your higher awareness and all your past experiences and memories, having to go another round in this amnesiac prison can be painfully hard.

But you are here, and you are loved and needed. I need to remind myself of this every day myself. This terrible gloom you are feeling will lift if you allow yourself time to move through it......I know this too, and this is what keeps me going.

But I would be remiss if I didn't pass on to you one of the most important pieces of information you need to know at this time to help you survive what you are feeling right now.

There is a natural medicine called SAMe (S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine) and it is one of the very best mood-boosters I know of. I have recommended SAMe to many, many sad and depressed people, and although it will never take away the outer causes of depression, what it does do is allows you to rise above all the things that are getting you down. It actually lifts the glooms so well within just 2-3 days, you will realise you are back in coping mode again. SAMe raises your brains levels of 'feel good' chemicals, and ideally we should ALL be taking this product for its many benefits during these stressful times, not least of which are the very strong antioxidant properties it contains to help protect our cells form environmental toxins.

THE FOLLOWING INFO IS FOR ANY BODY WHO IS FEELING DEPRESSED.

SAMe is quite expensive, and most brands come in tableted amounts of 400mg in bottles of 30 tablets. I recommend initially you take 4 per day for the first 3 days (in divided doses and on an empty stomach), then slowly taper back the amount over the next 3 weeks till you get to one per day. Then if you can, stay on one per day for as long as you can afford to take them - indefinitely would be ideal.

Tinmenace's advice about the vitamin B complex is GREAT advice - I recommend a strong Executive B formula, and in addition separately purchase a bottle of 5mg Folic Acid (NOTE milligrams, NOT micrograms) which you can purchase OTC from pharmacies, and 1000mcg of sublingual B12 (NOTE micrograms NOT milligrams), and take one each of these together with 1 Executive B with your evening meal. Place the sublingual B12 under your tongue and allow it to dissolve and be absorbed directly into your bloodstream. On is own a boost of B12 has been known to lift depression. If you're feeling extremely stressed, also consider taking an extra 300mg of non-flush Niacin (B3) at night....its tested better in studies than some of the more popular name-brand anti-anxiety medications.....but you'll never hear a doctor tell you that! :rolleyes:

Most people believe the B vitamins should be taken in the morning to give you BBB bounce during the day....but in fact all the B family vitamins have a calming/relaxing effect, so are better taken before bed....they help you sleep.....its next day you'll have your 'bounce'. :D

If you are can't sleep, taking 1,200 mg of Inositol (another B-related vitamin) along with 500mg calcium & 500mg magnesium 1/2 before bed works as well as MOST sleeping medications......but you'll never hear a doctor tell you THAT either!!! ;) Add 2000mg of Valerian to that brew and you'll not be seen or heard from again for at least 12 hours!!!

Lastly infinite one, remember you are loved, and if ever you need anyone to chat to, please feel free to PM me anytime and we'll go from there.

I care,
Lime :)

[timestop24]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

You took the words out of my mouth. I see no point in anything either. Nihilism seems to still have a steady grip on me...:(

[limelady]

You took the words out of my mouth. I see no point in anything either. Nihilism seems to still have a steady grip on me...:(


See my post above yours.....this same advice will help you too. :)

PLEASE NOTE:

If SAMe is too expensive, a very good alternative is to take 500mg L-Tyrosine 3 times daily between meals. Amino-acids compete for uptake with proteins in your food, so need to be taken on an empty stomach.

Tyrosine is one of the very best mood lifers that very few know about!

[Anders Lindman]

A low emotional state can be a really nasty business. To the point where I person can begin thinking of killing himself or herself. I see that there are at least two levels in this: the mental level and the emotional level. They are related, but not totally the same thing. My trick is to question my mental level and to observe my emotional level. Sometimes when I use my ordinary thinking, my future can look really bleak. Instead of denying or trying to repress those thoughts, I take them as possibly having a truth in them, but I don't take them as an absolute truth, I question them, I put great doubt into my whole way of thinking and feeling. My ordinary way of thinking if very afraid of doubt, and so that is a problem. But I have to doubt that idea too! If I am confused, and I can SEE that I am confused, I'm really not confused.

[cleft_asunder]

Here Infinite one, this will cheer you up. I practiced being in the now today and it makes you very peacful and at ease. I'm not saying I realised my true nature, but when you stop thinking and place yourself in the now, things become less frantic. You will need an account to DL, and a bittorrent program such as utorrent.

http://conspiracycentral.net:6969/stats.html?info_hash=383e067ec74cdd0bbd292ca131050 28e32314168

[tru3]

A low emotional state can be a really nasty business. To the point where I person can begin thinking of killing himself or herself. I see that there are at least two levels in this: the mental level and the emotional level. They are related, but not totally the same thing. My trick is to question my mental level and to observe my emotional level. Sometimes when I use my ordinary thinking, my future can look really bleak. Instead of denying or trying to repress those thoughts, I take them as possibly having a truth in them, but I don't take them as an absolute truth, I question them, I put great doubt into my whole way of thinking and feeling. My ordinary way of thinking if very afraid of doubt, and so that is a problem. But I have to doubt that idea too! If I am confused, and I can SEE that I am confused, I'm really not confused.


ito, the fact that you are here in this forum asking quesitons is a sign of Grace. you're ahead of the game, imv. :)

anders, from my personal experience, people like me, who were or are in the throes of depression, have low, low psychic and emotional energy.

the process you suggest would have been incomprehensible to me when i was in the depths of my depression, about 26-28 years old. i hung on to my life by a thread, literally. the only thing that kept me alive was my newborn son. after a few years, i realized how unhealthy this was for both of us, and i knew i was the one that had to change. unfortunately, i didn't know how, and still several more years past before i made any any real efforts to heal. in fact, i nearly had to shatter my whole identity before i could make a break toward freedom.

everyone in my family, including my wife for a while, wanted me to get on the meds and i refused. they called me selfish (not my wife, she finally "got it"). i say it was the most loving thing i could do for myself. i had a deep need to hear and understand what the depression was trying to tell me, to honor it.

what i discovered as i began to come out the other side of it was that, yes, i had a problem, but so did society at large. i was working on myself, but i saw no indication that society at large was making any great strides. i did the best i could trying to fit into a system that has, for most of my life, seemed insane to me.

depression has been called the cancer of the 21st century. my deep belief is that we live in a cancerous social and economic structure. we're living in a swamp, wondering why we have malaria.

as a species, we know something is dreadfully, dreadfully wrong. most of the planet is in denial about it. people look to fix the symptoms-- even global warming, real or not, would be a symptom-- rather than look to the cause: giving away Power by willingly living in fear and control obsessed with survival.

the cognitive dissonance between what we profess and what we are creating is becoming ever more apparent, ever accelerating. it is becoming intolerable to many. this is the pressure and heat humanity is feeling on a global scale. so it appears to me.

[the infinite one]

Thanks for the warm replies. :)

I feel like there's many personalities in me that are at battle/war i.e. the ego fighting for its survival.

I also feel like i wanna be free from this prison and at times i dont wanna be free like as if I'm scared of freedom, it sounds silly that i dont want freedom.

I know suicide isnt the answer, death is no cure for ignorance.

[anoninnyc]

Thanks for the warm replies. :)

I feel like there's many personalities in me that are at battle/war i.e. the ego fighting for its survival.

I also feel like i wanna be free from this prison and at times i dont wanna be free like as if I'm scared of freedom, it sounds silly that i dont want freedom.

I know suicide isnt the answer, death is no cure for ignorance.

no it does not sound silly, i have been there before as well. we fear change, it is only natural. counter-productive, yes but natural. i have thought of suicide before, because the evil of this world can get a person down, but you are right it is no answer. i dont know what the afterlife is like, but i strongly believe that we dont just die and poof we are gone. i hope this is the case, but i seriously dont think we will get off the hook that easily, so suicide is certainly no escape, it would just imprison us further.

now life has so many beautiful things to offer you, but it is so hard to see this in a state of depression. so do me a favor and indulge in something enjoyable to you, it can be a silly, easy little thing like petting a dog or cat, smelling a flower, remembering a happy moment, eating a favorite food, whatever... just treat yourself to something nice.

listen, we need more awake sensitive people such as yourself in this world.

[Anders Lindman]

the process you suggest would have been incomprehensible to me when i was in the depths of my depression


That's true. When in depression a severely limited tunnel vision sets in, where the thinking mind is very often totally locked in a very deep and low and narrow groove. Like being in a dark room without a door or windows and someone from outside saying: "Why don't you step out of that dark room?"

The dark room is that the thinking mind in a mode of depression is totally locked into ideas about a CERTAIN very bleak future. Any alternative way of thinking/feeling is then simply not available.

[lumukanda]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

i know exactly where you're coming from man, i've been really low these past few weeks, glad to know i'm not the only one.
i've not had suicidal thoughts as such, but i've had many 'what's the point?' moments. you know it's different for all of us, but don't lose hope, i just think about all the good things i do have in my life, they far outweigh the bad, so i just try and take a step back, take breath and look at it from another perspective. it's so easy to get wrapped up in yourself, trust me i know.

an animated chicken on the idiot box once said these wise words : there's no point in worrying about the things you can't solve, and there's no point in worrying about the things you can.

[markhowie]

Thanks for the warm replies. :)

I feel like there's many personalities in me that are at battle/war i.e. the ego fighting for its survival.

I also feel like i wanna be free from this prison and at times i dont wanna be free like as if I'm scared of freedom, it sounds silly that i dont want freedom.

I know suicide isnt the answer, death is no cure for ignorance.

Aloha infinite one its mark in my best english

i used to be a junky/alcoholic depessive and mostly it was rooted in my lack of love for myself and this massive feeling of guilt...... guilty of being part of it all, guilty of having enought when there were those that had so little, guilty of being white, guilty of history, guilty of existing..etc etc etc ...in that space, i would/could only focus on the negative in this world
(i am shure there are many angry depressives on this forum, you are probable one of the honest ones )
and as we all know of have at least heard of the law of attraction the more we focus on what is not right the more we shall draw that to us... (like david, it is no suprise that he is getting ill) it becomes a visious cercle.. the more you are down the more you focus your attention on that and the more you draw what you focus on into your life....
AND as you are the infinite one you have chosen this wonderfull learning experience in whitch to advance allong your path, and you will find a solution and one day thank yourself for creating this one....
there are some wonderfull intentions behind the posts in this thread, i particulary like the ones that sugest doing somthing different....
if you want a different result then try and change your focus and expect a different result ....
(this is so easy for me sitting here to say all this i personaly did 10 years of Gestalt amongs many other healing techniques after a child hood of abusse on all levels)
doing somthing different will bring temporary relife as it will occupy and impress the subconsious.... and one day you are going to have to go into your cave and fight your monsters (or love them)
when i was a child i used to pray to die.... later on i was killing myself slowly......... now i lookforward to death with joy and excitement but not until i have finnished my learning here :eek: :confused: :o :) :rolleyes: :p ;) :D

safe travel's
love to us all
mark

[rainmaker]

Thanks InfiniteOne for getting us all to talk about the heaviness of the last few weeks. Up to the WaggaWagga event, I was on a high. It HAS been harder since then. Now, who do those "suicidal thoughts" belong to? Ask and you will find they are not yours. Often, if a thought comes to us, we believe it is ours - when in fact it can be an implant, an explant, an entity, or any number of things.
If you have ever felt connected, experienced that insight, to Oneness, and your username depicts that you have, remember that and say "this too shall pass".
When these types of thoughts come up, say "who does that belong to?" (You can say that for any other thought too) and listen to your intuition. Once you have your answer, say "Thank you very much for coming, you may now leave" - and/or - imagine between your hands is a membrane to Source. Use it to ask the bad energy to leave through it, and for Source energy to take its place. Picture it, whatever that means to you, however that works for you. It may involve moving your hands, or it may not, depending on how you find it most effective.
Physical orgonite is not working as it should right now, but human orgonite works well :) . Sometimes we forget to check in with our higher self when the going gets tough - and that is part of "their" tactic - to get you so down you forget that YOU ARE THE INFINITE ONE! And so you are.

[shadow cat]

Thanks for the warm replies. :)

I feel like there's many personalities in me that are at battle/war i.e. the ego fighting for its survival.

I also feel like i wanna be free from this prison and at times i dont wanna be free like as if I'm scared of freedom, it sounds silly that i dont want freedom.

I know suicide isnt the answer, death is no cure for ignorance.

Good Morning 'TheInfiniteOne'!!!!! How are you feeling today??

[the infinite one]

i witnessed a dead body last night in my dream. :(

Felt so real i.e. same emotional response like in waking life

I saw the body in birmingham, lol, weird.

[emma royds]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?


When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about change.

Since reading the book "The law of attraction- How to make it work for you" by Esther & Jerry Hicks. I have learn't so much, I felt like you, but now I'm beggining to transform my life, once you understand how things work in this world you begin to make a change for the better, and everyday you see the L.O.A working for you, you increase in confidence and become more powerful in attracting the things you really want. Always be positive, never negative, no matter how your feeling. If you think negative you will begin to attract negativity, but if you learn to think positive all the time, you will start attracting positive things into your life.

Have faith, there is light at the end of the darkness. Consider this your opportunity to transform your life now. The change starts here, grasp the opportunity today, don't delay.

[shadow cat]

i witnessed a dead body last night in my dream. :(

Felt so real i.e. same emotional response like in waking life

I saw the body in birmingham, lol, weird.

Hi again, In my Daughter's Dictionary of dreams book it says 'When you dream of death, it is usually an indication of personal growth and suggests that after death there is rebirth and transformation. It is a positive dream you should embrace'
'This dream is less likely to be about an actual death than a symbolic representation of loss, change, or transition. Often it is a positive dream, signalling that some form of burden or anxiety is about to be lifted from you, enabling you to move forward in your life. In this sense, death is actually a dream of new birth, that is, releasing the old and embracing the new. Dreams of death often accompany or forecast important life transitions, and signal the dreamer's consciousness of his or her need to take on a different role or a new challenge.'

Gosh......I wouldn't normally give the time of day to this sort of thing...but when I read that, I thought it may relate somewhat to what you are going through right now, (and it may not as well) But make of it what you will.
Have a good day!! :D

[turquoisefyre]

I don't really know what's triggering it.

I guess I'm feeling drained from work and other shit, keep repeating the same shit.

Perhaps I need a holiday or a break.

I feel like there's many personalities in mr that are at battle i.e. the ego fighting for its survival


tinmenace gave you some good advice, but please, if the b-complex are TABLETS, DO NOT BOTHER!!!!!!!!!!.

in high school i used to love staying fit for sports and took vitamin supplements, unfortunately, i started suffering from severe derpression and chronic fatique along with severe apathy. it was only last year when i came across an independant study made by a guy about the anti-caking agent, SILICON DIOXIDE, that things became clear to me.

here are some of the side effects:
breast pain or tenderness
fatigue, usually made worse by exercise
cognitive function problems, such as attention deficit disorder,
calculation difficulties, memory disturbance, spatial disorientation,
frequently saying the wrong word
psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, personality
changes, mood swings
sleep disturbance and non-restorative sleep
headaches of a greater intensity than before implantation
changes in vision
seizures
loss of balance
numbness and tingling
lightheadedness
paralysis
joint and muscle aches and pains
shortness of breath
lymph node enlargement
weight gain
low grade fevers
abnormal heart rhythm
hair loss
dry eyes and mouth
frequent canker sores in the mouth
low back pain
skin changes and/or rashes
severe muscular weakness
intolerance of bright lights
intolerance of alcohol
ringing in ears
decreased libido
muscle tremors
recurrent flu-like illnesses
severe allergies
irritable bowel syndrome
night sweats
uncomfortable urination
chest pain
cough
Raynaud's phenomenon
enlarged thyroid.



i'm really amazed that silicone dioxide has not yet been exposed as undesirable to your body.

i would love to post the whole report here, but it's too long. it is a FANTASTIC report and DEFINATELY worth a read, so if any one is interested, please pm me your email and i'll send you the report. i also cant give the website, because just a short time after i downloaded it, the report got classified as "subscribers only". the report is written by a guy called Ivan Fraser.

i'm afraid there are no good news for supplements, because if you use CAPSULES, without the anti caking agent silicon dioxide, you have to put up with soy, which causes mimics estrogen, causes breast cancer in women and infertile men. it kills you sex drive:eek:

later on i'll open a thread on a more appropraite part of this forum conerning this.

[markhowie]

When you change the way you think about things, the things you think about change.

Since reading the book "The law of attraction- How to make it work for you" by Esther & Jerry Hicks. I have learn't so much, I felt like you, but now I'm beggining to transform my life, once you understand how things work in this world you begin to make a change for the better, and everyday you see the L.O.A working for you, you increase in confidence and become more powerful in attracting the things you really want. Always be positive, never negative, no matter how your feeling. If you think negative you will begin to attract negativity, but if you learn to think positive all the time, you will start attracting positive things into your life.

Have faith, there is light at the end of the darkness. Consider this your opportunity to transform your life now. The change starts here, grasp the opportunity today, don't delay.

aloha emma un all
yes, this information is wonderfull........
anyone can download the introduction from
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/mp3downloads.php
the intoduction is a bit long for me...and worth it... from N°7... onwards , you dont have to belive it, just feel it...


@+ mad in france

[tinmenace]

an independant study made by a guy about the anti-caking agent, SILICON DIOXIDE.


Geez Ok, thanks for that post. Does it go by a different name also? I'm looking at the ingredients and it doesn't say silicon dioxide, but that doesn't mean anything either...:rolleyes:

[truthseeker1980]

Hi the infinite one,

I know exactly what you are talking about. The last 3 weeks have been the worstof my life so far.

I met a girl in January she was so into me and all over me for 3 mnths and suddenly for no reason went off me over night, we were planning things to do together and she seemed so real. i had never been so happy, virtually lived with her until 3 wks ago.

Then overnight 3 wks ago she stopped talking to me, i aint heard from her since.

I feel exactly as you do, going to work coming back to my flat and sitting there on my own, no reason to be alive. None of it makes sense, she was more serious than i was for the 3mnths, now she wont even talk to me.

Maybe she was a red dress designed to make me fuel the matrix with the sudden depression, anxiety and fear. which i was just trying to control, like this time last year, when i list my job for no reason. It seems as soon as i get some kind of control over my unbalanced chakra's something out of my hands turns it all around.

I just keep telling myself, there must be areason, maybe the trolls on here have found out who i am and are, HAARP, ELF, TETRA or RFID controlling people around me to cause me to add my fuel back into the matrix.

I dunno, i'll get through it.

[turquoisefyre]

Geez Ok, thanks for that post. Does it go by a different name also? I'm looking at the ingredients and it doesn't say silicon dioxide, but that doesn't mean anything either...:rolleyes:

yip,

"silica" , "silicate" etc.

this shit is really evil.
a short while back i bought bentonite of the internet, -betonite, if you watched the aerosol crimes vid, is one of the things you get to help rid the body of heavy poisinous metals- but it was almost pure silicate and the bad symptoms returned. so i wasted £20 quid on that sucka.

[tinmenace]

yip,

"silica" , "silicate" etc.

this shit is really evil.
a short while back i bought bentonite of the internet, -betonite, if you watched the aerosol crimes vid, is one of the things you get to help rid the body of heavy poisinous metals- but it was almost pure silicate and the bad symptoms returned. so i wasted £20 quid on that sucka.

Ok thanks! I don't see that ingredient in mine, but you have prompted me to investigate the other ingredients. Thanks for that!

[tommi]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

Don't worry mate, I suffered from really bad depression for about 15-16 years on and off, from the age of about 10 (yes ten).

My advice is not to avoid it. There are things that can help to combat it like exercise, healthy eating etc. but really try and embrace it as much as you can, and when you know it inside out, then over come it with the power of your mind. Quite literally drive it out of yourself. Life runs in cycles, doesn't mean we have to be a slave to it. Sounds far fetched and un-realistic I know, but when you are in control of your emotions and they're not in control of you, life erm changes a bit :D

[albie]

I don't really know what's triggering it.

I guess I'm feeling drained from work and other shit, keep repeating the same shit.

Perhaps I need a holiday or a break.

I feel like there's many personalities in mr that are at battle i.e. the ego fighting for its survival

Tell me about it. The same bloody streets day after day. The same TV. The same feeling of being drunk.

No real gain. No real change inside. Well, no positive change.

Go and live on a farm is my answer to you.

Get away from litter and spit puddles on the pavement. And angry drunks and car fumes.

But you won't. You'll carry on. They have us.:eek: You'll suffer till you crack. Like the rest.

[tru3]

Thanks InfiniteOne for getting us all to talk about the heaviness of the last few weeks. Up to the WaggaWagga event, I was on a high. It HAS been harder since then. Now, who do those "suicidal thoughts" belong to? Ask and you will find they are not yours. Often, if a thought comes to us, we believe it is ours - when in fact it can be an implant, an explant, an entity, or any number of things.
If you have ever felt connected, experienced that insight, to Oneness, and your username depicts that you have, remember that and say "this too shall pass".
When these types of thoughts come up, say "who does that belong to?" (You can say that for any other thought too) and listen to your intuition. Once you have your answer, say "Thank you very much for coming, you may now leave" - and/or - imagine between your hands is a membrane to Source. Use it to ask the bad energy to leave through it, and for Source energy to take its place. Picture it, whatever that means to you, however that works for you. It may involve moving your hands, or it may not, depending on how you find it most effective.
Physical orgonite is not working as it should right now, but human orgonite works well :) . Sometimes we forget to check in with our higher self when the going gets tough - and that is part of "their" tactic - to get you so down you forget that YOU ARE THE INFINITE ONE! And so you are.

wow. great, great post rainmaker! :)

that's an extremely astute observation: we are not our thoughts. yes, our dna is a distributed array radiotelescope. we are no doubt receiving beamed images, not only from the media, but from the "god program" itself, 24/7.

that leads to the question, "well, if i am not my thoughts, then Who am I?" that is the perfect question to be asking, imho. who is having this experience of feeling let down? the stronger the feeling, the greater the opportunity to drop into the witness seat. this can be done without sitting for hours on a meditation cushion, it can be developed going about one's daily activitiy. it doesn't even really take effort; it takes willingess to remember the question, and the will to keep asking it.

human orgonite can be cultivated. tai chi or qi gong are perfect methods for helping the body feel better. even conscious breathing, from the belly, can create a sense of wellbeing, if practised continously. if the body is allied with spirit, the ego doesn't have a chance!

Such relaxed and continuous awareness of the sensations of breathing creates a sturdy and effective basis for the path of spiritual transformation. This simple method entails a direct attention to, and consciousness of, the actual physical sensations associated with breathing. We might focus on the sensations in the nostrils, the air movement across the upper lip, or the rise and fall of the abdomen and rib cage. Or we might prefer to work with awareness of all of them at once in a more global view of breathing. Each has its advantages. The abdominal region offers relatively large movements, with obvious physical sensations that we can readily engage and follow. The nostrils and upper lip present a small, subtle, and very focused region. The narrow focus can be more difficult to acquire and maintain but enables us to quickly build up a sharp and strong attention. Global bodily awareness of breath readily supports a conscious backdrop to common daily activities. Our situation and state can guide us to the most appropriate style of practice in any given moment.

http://www.innerfrontier.org/Practices/ConsciousBreathing.htm

all kinds of info out there on conscious breathing. well worth a look! :)

I feel like there's many personalities in me that are at battle/war i.e. the ego fighting for its survival.

I also feel like i wanna be free from this prison and at times i dont wanna be free like as if I'm scared of freedom, it sounds silly that i dont want freedom.

I know suicide isnt the answer, death is no cure for ignorance.

i wouldn't call them personalities so much as memes: persistent thought forms that take on a life of their own. they can come from early childhood, the media, certainly from friends and family today, but also from the unconscious. at birth, we come into this world tapped into what i call, for lack of a better term, "race consciousness", the collective unconscious that jung described.

i know exactly what you mean about being scared. i spent many years being scared about taking responsibility for my life, because i thought responsibility meant finding someone to blame. it's not; it's just being able -to -respond.

this is just my own personal belief, but i always figured that if i offed myself, i would just reincarnate back here anyway! :D

i witnessed a dead body last night in my dream.

Felt so real i.e. same emotional response like in waking life

I saw the body in birmingham, lol, weird.

wow! that is huge, huge, HUGE! :) it may seem creepy, but in my study of dream interpretation a dream always means more than one thing. yes, sometimes a cigar is a cigar, but it's always something else too.

so, you saw a corpse, but if it were my dream, i would also note that death makes way for new growth. it would be the old me. that's clear, because the emotional charge on seeing it is the same as felt during the daily routine. this was a clearance dream for you, processing all this, but there are usually little hints about what to do next, if we can catch them.

a question, first thought best thought: what do you think of when you think of birmingham? that will give you a clue as to what the body is trying to tell you.

[21_12_2012]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

Hiya mate, sorry to hear about the downers you've been having.
I've had quite a few myself recently, probably since December until a couple of weeks ago.
I'm wondering if you checked out this thread by Seamus.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1676

Basically there are some steps in this book which might be able to do for you what they did for me.

I read the book about 2 weeks ago, and I did all the steps in it.
The author said that after doing the steps you may feel spaced out, which I did feel intensely spaced out for a few days after, but this is an indication that it is working.
Anyway, since then I have felt brilliant...never better.
Before that I was down quite a lot.
The book is about our guides, and their intentions, and how they influence us without us knowing it...our thoughts and feelings.
The steps are just sentences to say out loud...affirmations to your 'guides'. The affirmations will actually get rid of guides that aren't benefitting you (dark guides), and 'switch them' for 100% pure guides.
If (like i suspect was the case with me) you have one or more 'dark' guides (or guides that aren't 100% pure) then this could be why you have unexplainable sad thoughts and feelings.
I am sure I have had dark guides for probably a long time, causing on-and-off 'unexplainable' negative thoughts and feelings.
Now I feel brilliant since doing the affirmations, but also I have been doing some meditation/visualisation/protection and lightwork along with it. And using crystals.
Give it a go if you haven't already checked the book out.
I hope things improve soon for you anyway.

[lenejento]

Lot's of good advice. I hope you sense the warmth of knowing that you're not the only one that's gone through this or are going through it, you are so not alone, SO not alone.

The law of attraction and trying to change your negative thoughts for positive ones will probably seem very hard, I think the reason is that when you try to think positively but can't seem to do it it's easy to punish yourself for that, and that is even more negative thought. Maybe when the thoughts come up you could ask yourself if they are really true or not, and if who YOU are which is your Consciousness/Awareness, is affected by it in any way.

All possibility is truly true, that means that in the next moment 10 000 things could happen. Truly, I now catch myself when I have negative thought like for example about my boyfriend, thinking "oh, he'll probably will be grumpy when he comes home", but that is absurd because 10 000 things could happen. This makes me live much more in the now, and with more positive expectations if any. If there is a problem in front of me now I can do something about it, but a worry about the future is invincible. It is only ever in the now and it can only ever be.

How are you feeling today? I am having an ok day :)

[father ted]

Hi the infinite one, we love you.

[tru3]

All possibility is truly true, that means that in the next moment 10 000 things could happen. Truly, I now catch myself when I have negative thought like for example about my boyfriend, thinking "oh, he'll probably will be grumpy when he comes home", but that is absurd because 10 000 things could happen. This makes me live much more in the now, and with more positive expectations if any. If there is a problem in front of me now I can do something about it, but a worry about the future is invincible. It is only ever in the now and it can only ever be.

i know it seems like the shite is hitting the fan, but it also seems to me that because of the accelerated pace of change, transformation will become more and more available in the blink of an eye. what took me years and years of processing gunk, some of you will cruise right through in a matter of days, or hours even.

all secrets WILL come to light.

[Ian2day]

To add to what I have already said. If you was abused as a child, you are more likely to suffer from PTSD if exposed to a traumatic experience or a series of stressors in adulthood. This can explain why some people for no conscious reason, experience debilitating depression in situations where others would accommodate the exposure to stress.

Repression is where the conscious mind. As a coping mechanism. Has forgotten that, it has forgotten about past trauma. This is great if you are never again exposed to a series of stressors or a traumatic experience. But in this 3d five sense reality, stressors are a daily occurrence and the likelihood of experiencing trauma is increased due to the scientific dictatorships hold over us all. Abuse can take many forms. Be it sexual, emotional, physical or psychological.

Having got that out of the way. In many studies it has been found that high levels of epa found in fish oil or from vegetable sources of omega 3 fatty acids can do wonders for mental and physical well being. There are several suppliers who have high grades of fish oil.

http://www.mind1st.co.uk/fish-oil-depression.asp

http://www.morepa.net/

http://www.vegepa.com/index.php

[tru3]

Repression is where the conscious mind. As a coping mechanism. Has forgotten that, it has forgotten about past trauma. This is great if you are never again exposed to a series of stressors or a traumatic experience. But in this 3d five sense reality, stressors are a daily occurrence and the likelihood of experiencing trauma is increased due to the scientific dictatorships hold over us all. Abuse can take many forms. Be it sexual, emotional, physical or psychological.

i have also read where trauma, especially sexual trauma, does not begin to surface until the early 30's.

i didn't have any sexual abuse, but i didn't have any kind of insight on how much doo-doo i was in or what i had experienced in my childhood until the age of 32.

there is also another interesting angle to this, depending on one's age:

Liquid Light of Sex is a life-changing book for understanding the major growth transitions we all experience. With specific emphasis on mid-life crisis, Clow explores how kundalini energy--the "liquid light of sex" that rises in the spine--can be intentionally channeled for successful navigation through periods of change in life. She notes, "We form at age 30, we transform at age 40-44, and we transmute at age 50." She explores in depth how at age 30 we make great structural changes in our lives, such as having a child, getting married, choosing a career, or making a big move. Then as we approach 40, most of us are literally driven to mature emotionally, which often ends marriages and stresses families. Clow shows that this mid-life crisis is calling for each person to become more spiritual, not simply change partners. Approaching age 50, people struggle for meaning in life, and there has to be more to life than getting and spending. It is time to surrender to the greater spiritual forces. These three key transitions are the great turning points in our lives, and this book offers wonderful support, advice, and techniques for intentionally managing them.


Included: Tables of the exact timing for the three key life passages for people born 1930 to 1980 (having a natal chart is not necessary for this book), and a system for scripting the rest of your life (even if you are only 20 years old) based on 30-year Saturn cycles.

http://www.handclow2012.com/liquidlightofsex.htm

you may say this is hogwash, but this book really helped me move through a "mid-life crisis". these spacesuits We move and live and breathe in are electromagnetic energy that respond to triggers. in many cases, simply being aware of the process can defuse the process, imv.

if anyone out there is entering or in their mid-30's/early 40's, this book might be worth a look.

in love and service. :)

[shadow cat]

Hi TIO! Just popping in for a bit :) I am blown away by the responses from Forum members on this thread! What a fantastic group of people.
Keeping things simple, I would like to suggest you find someone to talk to. This could be initially your Doctor (who has heard it all before), who could refer you to a social worker, a youth worker, psychologist, ..just someone who will listen to you. I really think that talking is a good first step, and has worked very well for people I know. (myself included)
We can at times of depression dwell on things. What I have personally done in the past, is, whenever that old nasty thought pops up again say STOP!! and keep on saying it! I know this sounds a tad too simple but it's really effective. Say it out loud when alone and under the breath when in company. Anyway DO try this.
Try walking. Take a good long walk, and concentrate on your surroundings.
Realize that this will get better in time (ALL TRUE) You have taken the first step by realizing there is a problem and reaching out for help. You are doing great guns!!! keep it up, and in no time flat....ALL BETTER.
When we know we have broken a bone in our leg we don't sit around ruminating on it, we get up and follow through with a cure, it's your turn now, to seek to get this problem you have healed....all the best. ! It's all UP from here.

[tru3]

Aloha infinite one its mark in my best english

i used to be a junky/alcoholic depessive and mostly it was rooted in my lack of love for myself and this massive feeling of guilt...... guilty of being part of it all, guilty of having enought when there were those that had so little, guilty of being white, guilty of history, guilty of existing..etc etc etc ...in that space, i would/could only focus on the negative in this world
(i am shure there are many angry depressives on this forum, you are probable one of the honest ones )
and as we all know of have at least heard of the law of attraction the more we focus on what is not right the more we shall draw that to us... (like david, it is no suprise that he is getting ill) it becomes a visious cercle.. the more you are down the more you focus your attention on that and the more you draw what you focus on into your life....
AND as you are the infinite one you have chosen this wonderfull learning experience in whitch to advance allong your path, and you will find a solution and one day thank yourself for creating this one....
there are some wonderfull intentions behind the posts in this thread, i particulary like the ones that sugest doing somthing different....
if you want a different result then try and change your focus and expect a different result ....
(this is so easy for me sitting here to say all this i personaly did 10 years of Gestalt amongs many other healing techniques after a child hood of abusse on all levels)
doing somthing different will bring temporary relife as it will occupy and impress the subconsious.... and one day you are going to have to go into your cave and fight your monsters (or love them)
when i was a child i used to pray to die.... later on i was killing myself slowly......... now i lookforward to death with joy and excitement but not until i have finnished my learning here :eek: :confused: :o :) :rolleyes: :p ;) :D

safe travel's
love to us all
mark

thanks for the share, markhowie. i, too, prayed to die. none of us are alone.

as for being an angry depressive, i still have that, but i'm much more resilient now; i snap back after hours instead of weeks.

there are no silver bullets, imho. patience and perserverance are the watchwords. hate begets hate, love begets love. a little self-love and acceptance where we are right now is the right start, peppered with liberal doses of forgiveness (mostly self-directed) along the path. :)

[markhowie]

One of the tools i use is the blanket forgiveness technique
here is one, you just fill in your name and say it 3 times running at least one a week to start with
here goes:

I, ............... ask each person that i have injured with my thoughts,
with my words or with my actions totaly, without conditions and irovocably pardon.
At the same time, i pardon every person that has injured me, in there thoughts, in there words or in there actions without conditions, totaly and irovocably.
I pardon myself totaly, without conditions and irovocably.
I ask to the light to consider all of these situations as settled.


@+ mark

mad in france

[binhdinh_khiwarrior]

hey mate, don't let your emotions over ride u! hang in there, there is a meaning and a purpose, but that's up to you to create! That why we have free will. I am a healer and I will send you some love and healing for your emotions :-). What you are feeling is a vibration, it can be altered/cleaned and your feeling will change with it.

[loveemotion]

Infinte.. ok as i see it.. everything bad comes from reptiles... Peggy Kane explained that eve Angels Spiritual Guides are really Reppy play their game with us... now it is upto you to decide... but as long as it is bad in the long run i am not doing it..

I believe those thoughts of a suicide are not yours... they want us to kill each other.. they want us to fuck up.. and i will never do that.. i will actually try to break this system... and the battle is in the 4th dimention as i understand it.

So just do this.. everytime you feel like killing yourself! Pull out a middle finger and show it to the skies. and shout FUCK YOU!
Helped me a great lot! you can do whatever you want :) as long as it is good intent.. which is to LIVE :P

Love ya... stay strong.

[goatboyhicks]

don't take thoughts too seriously
step away from them

[fromthatshow]

I am ok with my depression. What gets to me is how is so many people saying that during the changes we will be experiencing we will need to choose love or fear.
I am not fearful, but I do not feel love often either. I am just depressed.

Anyway, as far as suicidal thoughts go, they will pass, as does everything else. And it's always worth sticking around for. Even if it's just to make someone laugh when they're upset. Or hold a door open for someone. It's worth having been around for that. Little things like that is what I stick around for.

[greenleaf]

For the past weeks, I've been feeling so down and depressed subconsciously.
I don't really know why, I feel this world is just crazy, what's the point in anything? Nothing means anything, it's bullshit here. I feel so unfullfilled and fustrated. We keep on re-creating the same day i.e. going to work, coming home etc...I feel so empty inside, this world doesn't make any sense. Where am I going? where have I come from? who am I? where am I?


I feel so fed up and trapped, anyone else know what I mean?

I wouldn't say this was a bad thing.. sounds cruel doesn't it?.. but as you are wanting to feel differently than your current state of mind, you have already reached the difficult task of accepting the need for change.
You (IMO), are feeling crap about actually noticing things in a clearer light and no-one said what you are going to realise are only good things.. the trick to this is learning it whilst not fearing it or allowing any other fear to replace it.
I would have to say to your situation "Welcome To Enlightenment". and it is only going to get stronger, better and you more confident in all you do however mundane.
There are other things to consider whilst you are opening up to all forms of awareness... thoughts, feelings, empathies and so on.. do not always have to be your own.. as you become more aware, these might be projections of those around or in some spiritual way, crying out form afar.. yours is to decide/analyse these occurencies and given what you know, project a returning energy of yours.

please remember this is only my opinion based on personal experiences... sorry if it offends in any way.

[binhdinh_khiwarrior]

i know exactly what u mean. meditation may help you but it takes time and alot of effort-i used to take drugs to get rid of these feelings to take me away-but the ruin ur health in the end..so now iv switched to meditation-it is possible to transfom any emotion with ur body through the process of internal alchemy. If you would like to know more let me know

[Anders Lindman]

Imagine that you had thoughts about growing older and older and weaker and weaker and sicker and then die.

Who wouldn't become depressed by thoughts like that? :confused:

Some people may have become clever using strategies for preventing such thoughts from bubbling up from the subconscious, such as distractions of all kinds, being occupied all the time, buzy, buzy, buzy, seeking entertainments, even using drugs.

That's not healthy. It's extremely toxic. The subconscious belief about aging and death is the root problem. Trying to run away from it doesn't solve the problem. Nor does trying to ignore the subconscious solve the problem.

Replacing the subconscious belief is not possible as long as it is firm.

The subconscious belief must be soften up, shaken up by inserting doubts into one's mind, such as: Am I really sure I'm going to age and become sicker and sicker and weaker and weaker? Am I absolutely sure about that?