Just a record

[chainbreaker]

Just writing this in case im killed... leave some sort of trail about whats been happening.

Im 21 years old and sick to death with the stuff iv been puttin up with.
This morning I awoke to get on the computer before work which I havnt started yet and smelt a gassy smell.
I goto the kitchen and it wasnt coming from there..
Then I return to my room and on the balcony is the bbq cas cylinder, i think it may be leaking,,, its turned on the whole way and next to empty at the time.

Its my crazy mother doing it..
Shes tryed to assasinate me from my character by saying that I had done somthing with my cousin around 6 years ago which is untrue, then denied saying it, then when I was 18 and moved out to live with my father she makes up that I was looking at her sexually.. which is damn untrue.. thbat one has affected me bigtime... she has done some other things too . she used to go nuts frequently beforeshhe got a boyfriends and shed has held knives to my throat, and even driven me around the block on the cars bonnet after one of her Suicidal things she used to put me through... this is to say the least.
She has turned myu brother against me and she is a master of manipulation.
She has made me really hate her and after today... it just confirms suspiscions that this isnt all for nothing. Has to be somthing with me being to do wioth my father,,, although I dfont talk to him anymore because of sticking up for her...

Her mother did some strange things to her like trying to gas her which my mother continiously mentions but my mother has gone to the extremes.
Her family are masons... duno if thats somthing to do with it..
All my life iv been dealing with false allegations just wanting to have my family as a loving one who work together... but herself, her brother and sister and PArents have made sure that this couldnt happen.

My name is Dojan
And I dont know what to do.

[limelady]

Hi Dojan - honey are you living at home with your mum and her man?

If so, perhaps for your own safety you might be wise to try and find some safe place to stay for a while till you can figure out what's the right thing to do.

It sounds like you've had a bit of a confusing start in life and may need to sit and have a BIG chat with somebody who can help you and give you some good advice. Is there somebody you can trust like that Dojan?

Lime

[ho1ogram]

My name is Dojan
And I dont know what to do.
G'day Dojan,
there is a whole world out there... remove yourself from where you are and explore it.

[seamus]

Yes, it will never be easy, but it will always be interesting, as long as you keep away from the suits.

s

[chainbreaker]

Hi Dojan - honey are you living at home with your mum and her man?

If so, perhaps for your own safety you might be wise to try and find some safe place to stay for a while till you can figure out what's the right thing to do.

It sounds like you've had a bit of a confusing start in life and may need to sit and have a BIG chat with somebody who can help you and give you some good advice. Is there somebody you can trust like that Dojan?

Lime

hey :)
yeha im at their place. not cos I want to be cos I really felt the need to fix my relo with my little brother... which has proved to be hard.
I got myself a pad set up for the next few weeks which is good,, ahh.
Id love to chat with somebody about all this stuff... but i dont know who I can talk to who would genuinley care or have a eral strategic suggestion or two which are in reality know what i mean,... I sit here and lookup... knowing theres nobody to talkto... im being attacked from the ones I love all the time for years... it broke me down.


I cant trust my family.. who can I trust :)

Just chatter though i know everybody has isues.. just had to speak this off my mind

[tinmenace]

I have the same issues with my family. I had to move to a whole different country to get away from them.

Don't doubt yourself, don't feel insecure. There's something bigger and better out there for you, but you have to allow yourself to move on first. You can't change your situation until you're out of it.

Remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You know what I did? I just stayed away from the people that made me unhappy and I limited their access to me based on my terms. Those that didn't like it didn't get to see me or talk to me at all. The rest fell in line, and now I'm in control of my life, not my screwed up family members.

You have to set boundaries for your own life. Nobody has a right to your happiness. But, remember this...people only do to you what you ALLOW them to do. So, the change starts with you. The sooner the better.

Good luck to ya ;)

[limelady]

Well Dojan I'm in Australia (where are you?) and likely too far away to be able to help you in a practical way, but I'm always here for you to talk to if you need somebody to chat to.

Just send me a PM and we'll go from there O.K.?

Meantime here is a big hug to keep you going :)
((((((((( Dojan ))))))))

Lime

[rainmaker]

Hi Dojan -

Because you have figured out the truth of the situation, you are well on the way to being free of it.

When family members use in this way, often we take on the blame ourselves for it - and that makes it even harder to cope with. Because you are savvy, you know it for what it is. That's a strong position to be in. Know it for what it is, see it as it is, and don't be persuaded otherwise by those who would entice you back into the drama or make out you were the cause in any way.

You can't change your mum, but you can change you and your situation. It hurts when we didn't get a mum like "mums are supposed to be", but right now it looks like it the safest thing to do would be to get away.

And when you do, have a rest for a while, enjoy the peace.

[chainbreaker]

Im really smiling... genuinely for the first time in a while..Thank you very much for taking your time to help my situation. Really thank you all.

Thanks