Forgiveness

[LasseMaja]

Without it, we suppress hard feelings against each other. We need to forgive to let go. The small things as well as the hard things. Yes, even the smallest things we need to forgive, or it will grow larger.

Everybody makes mistakes, that's the first insight. People around you will always make annoying and even stupid things. Maybe evil things. Even if "you told them not to".
Let go, nobody is perfect.

When you do, you can stop react and start respond.
It's a big different. When you respond to something, you do it with love and understanding. Then people will respond to you, instead of reacting back.
The vicious emotional circle is broken. You are now free.

With forgiveness, there will be peace in your world.

Forgiveness is the path.


Peace! :D

[enlightenme]

What if you try and make peace and give forgivness though havent received that in return? What if wanting peace and forgiveness consumes your life and you cant stop thinking about it? How do you let go of that and be free?

[angelmoon]

What if you try and make peace and give forgivness though havent received that in return? What if wanting peace and forgiveness consumes your life and you cant stop thinking about it? How do you let go of that and be free?

Well said

i don't think it is always a healthy thing to forgive ,as there are things in life that don't warrant forgiveness and an acceptance is sometimes the best that can be achieved

i always imagine the people who say forgiveness is the way are the fortunate one's who haven't been touched by the devastation that there fellow man is capable of bestowing on them.

[LasseMaja]

Always forgive!

Yes, even the one who abuse you, laugh at you or harm you or your friends.

What I am talking about is a a deep form of empathy. Forgiveness without empathy is not forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not something you say, it is a state of mind. Peace!

[emerald]

Bullshit and nothing but bullshit. Period.

[LasseMaja]

I can't believe what I am hearing.

I thought I would get agrees on this one. As I see it, it is obvious.

Don't you remember what David said: our goal is to love everybody, even Bush.

Empathy is all curing.

Anyone?

[ticker]

Bullshit and nothing but bullshit. Period.

Forgiveness is extremely important in life, so no, the OPs post was not bullshit. Thanks for your pointless contribution to the thread..don't worry, I'm sure Lasse will forgive you though ;).

Lasse, I understand what you are saying and appreciate your words. Angelmoon, I understand where your coming from ("acceptance is sometimes the best that can be achieved") though I would word it somewhat differently.
I do feel forgiveness can always be attained no matter what. Although I may forgive someone, it does not mean I have to encorporate them into my life if I feel they will continue to hurt me. There are many good people who have lost their way in this world.. no one is born and decides they wish to inflict pain on others.

Remember that we are always working together and that we are manipulated to turn against eachother. If you have the insight to see this, then try to help those who have hurt you in the past. If they are clearly an extreme danger and you see no hope in helping them, then keep your distance.. but it doesn't mean you cannot forgive them and hope they to awaken someday :).

TiCkEr

[aerosteelzero]

Forgiveness is the key to peace on earth. "Don't cry over spilled milk" has an important underlying meaning. Life is your milk and you can't let everyone make you angry. Its understandable to be upset about something in order to make your point, but do not hold a grudge. What does that accomplish? It fuels the hatred in the world. Once we learn to not cry over silly matters we can learn to be a peaceful world community.

[octopusrex]

Without it, we suppress hard feelings against each other. We need to forgive to let go. The small things as well as the hard things. Yes, even the smallest things we need to forgive, or it will grow larger.

Everybody makes mistakes, that's the first insight. People around you will always make annoying and even stupid things. Maybe evil things. Even if "you told them not to".
Let go, nobody is perfect.

When you do, you can stop react and start respond.
It's a big different. When you respond to something, you do it with love and understanding. Then people will respond to you, instead of reacting back.
The vicious emotional circle is broken. You are now free.

With forgiveness, there will be peace in your world.

Forgiveness is the path.


Peace! :D


Amen.

[eternal_spirit]

Well said

i don't think it is always a healthy thing to forgive ,as there are things in life that don't warrant forgiveness and an acceptance is sometimes the best that can be achieved

i always imagine the people who say forgiveness is the way are the fortunate one's who haven't been touched by the devastation that there fellow man is capable of bestowing on them.
.....................

Well this is the issue, isn't it. If push came to shove in reality many of those who say they'd forgive, may well not forgive if the level of physical or emotional pain done to them from another was intense.

Me I'm a pacifist at heart, but believe in self defence if attacked, so that in a sense is a form of revenge.

[enlightenme]

Always forgive!

Yes, even the one who abuse you, laugh at you or harm you or your friends.

What I am talking about is a a deep form of empathy. Forgiveness without empathy is not forgiveness.

Forgiveness is not something you say, it is a state of mind. Peace!

so thats my question. what if you've givan forgiveness and empathy though still dont have that peace of mind?

what if you've asked for the forgiveness in return though dont receive it? How are you supposed to move on?

Beleive me i have been to hell and back many a time though always pull through because of my faith in life though, that word "forgiveness" always seems to bemuse me for some reason. forgive and forget just dosent seem right to me (although secretly i'd love to be able).

dont we as humans have to 'feel' to be. why should we not want to feel sad, happy, jealous, scared, loved, tired, sick..... We are humans after all and these are our traits. Feel them and move on is the ultimate though getting back to my initial q. what if you cant?

[LasseMaja]

Well, let me give you an example...

Your partner cheats on you.

What happens?

You can eighter get angry or/and sad. That's reacting.

Or you can ask the question; why is he/she doing this?
What is their motivator behind it?

Maybe it's lack of self esteem, maybe you can't satisfy him/her or maybe he/she can't control him/herself when on a drunk.

If you get mad at him/her, he/she will feel tense around you. "Now I must behave, better not look at that cute looking thing over there".

Or, you can support his/hers weak character and you can work through it together. After all, we are all humans with a strong sex drive.. aren't we?
If you accept this, things will get a whole lot smoother.

Or, you decide together that maybe you two aren't the right for each other.
Take time to reflect in peace, without looking at the "spilled milk" so to say.

[kweli]

I can't believe what I am hearing.

I thought I would get agrees on this one. As I see it, it is obvious.

Don't you remember what David said: our goal is to love everybody, even Bush.

Empathy is all curing.

Anyone?

Well I certainly agree with forgiveness, and I'm fortunate that I've been blessed with a forgiving nature, if not, I would be dead right now, and I don't say that for dramatic effect. Harbouring deep grudges, holding on to all that hurt and anger (from childhood), kept me pretty sick in my younger years.

What most people fail to realise is, to forgive someone is not simply letting the person who has wronged you off the hook, it's a selfish thing too, the forgiver benefits greatly by shedding the burden of resentment, you can free yourself of all manner of ills by forgiving.

Quotes on forgiveness:

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness

Forgiveness is the economy of the heart... forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.

Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.

[LasseMaja]

Remember, you also have to forgive yourself.

No matter what.

[enlightenme]

Well, let me give you an example...

Your partner cheats on you.

What happens?

You can eighter get angry or/and sad. That's reacting.

Or you can ask the question; why is he/she doing this?
What is their motivator behind it?

Maybe it's lack of self esteem, maybe you can't satisfy him/her or maybe he/she can't control him/herself when on a drunk.

If you get mad at him/her, he/she will feel tense around you. "Now I must behave, better not look at that cute looking thing over there".

Or, you can support his/hers weak character and you can work through it together. After all, we are all humans with a strong sex drive.. aren't we?
If you accept this, things will get a whole lot smoother.

Or, you decide together that maybe you two aren't the right for each other.
Take time to reflect in peace, without looking at the "spilled milk" so to say.

sorry though you really dont know the meaning of forgiveness if thats the example your giving. i'll find my answers elsewhere though thanks for trying ;)

[nessa felagund]

Forgiveness means letting go of hate and anger against someone--no longer desiring revenge on them. This is truly what makes forgiveness so important.

If people carry anger and hate inside for too long, it can make them bitter people.

At least, that's how I view forgiveness. Something for me, to help me be a loving, caring human being rather than a bitter, hateful one. :)

[ticker]

sorry though you really dont know the meaning of forgiveness if thats the example your giving. i'll find my answers elsewhere though thanks for trying ;)

Just because you cannot relate to the example does not mean Lasse doesn't understand forgiveness. That was a valid and well put example. Try not to dictate what others might or might not know when you clearly do not know yourself.

Good luck finding your answers elsewhere though. ;)

TiCkEr

[enlightenme]

Just because you cannot relate to the example does not mean Lasse doesn't understand forgiveness. That was a valid and well put example. Try not to dictate what others might or might not know when you clearly do not know yourself.

Good luck finding your answers elsewhere though. ;)

TiCkEr

i know the 'meaning' of forgiveness, i didnt ask for an example.

i though Lasse was aware from her opening statement a bit about forgiveness though hasent answered any of my q's so yes, will go find my answers elsewhere. :)

[karmic]

What if you try and make peace and give forgivness though havent received that in return? What if wanting peace and forgiveness consumes your life and you cant stop thinking about it? How do you let go of that and be free?

you have to forgive others with no thought of forgiveness in return.forgiving someone requires empathy if you feel empathy for those that you wish to forgive,you will feel peace within you,because your soul has become that much more enlightened.love and peace to you on your difficult path

[nessa felagund]

so thats my question. what if you've givan forgiveness and empathy though still dont have that peace of mind?

what if you've asked for the forgiveness in return though dont receive it? How are you supposed to move on?

hello, elightenme, you've asked some tough questions here.

As to the first, only you can achieve peace of mind for yourself. I have forgiven people who have hurt me in the past. (Some of whom never asked for it--lol). As I said earlier, this helped me get rid of the hurt feelings.

I also think that when we forgive we put the incident behind us and no longer dwell on it (I would say forget it, but I don't know if you can really forget it).

As to the second question, we can't control what other people do (or don't do). If you have genuinely asked for forgiveness and tried to make amends to the other person, and they still won't forgive you, there's really not much you can do about it. Forgive yourself and try not to hurt anyone else again.

This is the approach I take to forgiveness. Sometimes forgiving ourselves is the first step. :)

[jimmi]

sometimes it's easy to forgive. There are people on this forum who do and say hurtfull things, I find it easy to forgive them and then I get a 'boost'.

Other things I find are a lot harder to forgive but I'm working my way through them until there'll be nothing left to forgive. Then I will exist in total forgiveness without condemnation existing. That'll be nice!

[celtic isis]

sometimes it's easy to forgive. There are people on this forum who do and say hurtfull things, I find it easy to forgive them and then I get a 'boost'.

Other things I find are a lot harder to forgive but I'm working my way through them until there'll be nothing left to forgive. Then I will exist in total forgiveness without condemnation existing. That'll be nice!

i hear you jimmi, beautiful post.

you're right with forgiveness, i spent a lot of my young life continuing to blame others for bad things that happened to me...it was only after i choose to forgive those people did i heal myself, and went on to have the most wonderful true fulfilling relationships with said people. :)

it really works. :)

i'm trying to do what you do, i get hurt extremely easily, an ego thing i guess, bad ego bad!

and i am guilty of hurting others too i guess...

i'm working on it :)

thank you for an inspiring post :)

and welldone x

[jimmi]

Thank you so much C.I. , Now go to the hug thread and feel a hug from me!

[soltru]

i am completely with you on this !!!

forgiveness to me is a lable given to a feeling of letting go, which comes from a realisation and or a state of being, a state of mind a human is being.

to me that state of mind is - oneness, realising that we are essentially, infinite awareness, having an human experience, and this being a consistent knowing - living wisely, wisdom as state of mind, a wise human being.

so if a human being claims the above as being, a part of their definition of themselves, forgiveness is a probable feeling one will need to go thru in this realisation and living process.

we must remember we are dealing with language here. forgiveness is an energy, as we are, we use words and specifically 'forgiveness' to describe an energy/feeling.
i feel we really have nothing to forgive ever, because it is all relative to who we say we are, and what we say we are doing.
forgiveness is a reminder of how understanding, and non - attachment help in living a life of oneness.

if one truly lives a oneness, the concept of a 'self' having to 'forgive' would not make sense. would not be useful

much love all that is : )

[soltru]

this is a great thread jasse.. i

[lottie]

Great thread....

I was thinking about this forgiveness lark and although i do class myself as a very forgiving person i also think that we attract certain situations- i mean the outside world is a reflection of ourselves so if we attract certain situations which later require forgiveness from yourself then you need to look at why you attracted that situation, was it because you needed to learn a certain lesson? and so therefore if you created it in the first place (attracted it) becomes no need to forgive- other than forgiving yourself for attracting that situation originally!

I have had many what would be considered 'unpleasant situations' but i dont harbour negativity toward them and victimisation or sorrow- i look at them and say 'why did i attract that scenario?' what was it for? so once ive established an answer and at times i dont, i just move on, you're creating your reality all the time, so there's no need for forgiveness other than as i said to yourself to say 'i forgive myself for attracting that horrid scenario because i actually learned from it'.

Although i totally understand where you are coming from LasseMaja and i believe you are right but i think we need to start accepting responsibility for what happens to us instead of blaming others- then there'd be no need for forgiveness! :)

[cruise4]

Attracting negative things is a function of ourselves but is this not partly as a result of what I'll call the magicians and false teachers do to us throughout life? They cause us to feel unworthy for example and their payoff is us attracting things that otherwise we probably wouldn't? So in this sense it isn't always our fault... do you see what I mean? Its part of the reason for their psychic? attack on the population?

What do you think?

[lottie]

Oh absolutely, its all by design, the world is awash with negativity - we're being bombarded with it all the time, but even still we need not 'blame' them- yes it contributes but its up to us how we react to it, im still being subjected to the same bombardment as everyone else but i choose to react differently to it.....:)

[cruise4]

Yes, you are right Lottie. Its good to know so we can react accordingly. No matter what happens I'm so glad I know roughly whats really going on.

[manchurian_candidate]

I agree with forgiveness as revenge and bitterness eat you up eventually. I can forgive people who have hurt me but any of my family/friends who have been devasted by someone... thats more difficult for me to forgive personally because I love them so much.