Relationships: What do you want from them? [Archive]

zero1

24-03-2008, 01:37 AM

In this "time of revealing" which I happen to believe we are in, what do you want out of a relationship with another person or "significant other"?

I love girls and women, but in a very very general way. I have not yet fallen in love with a specific woman, and I'm don't know if I ever will. But if I did, I think I'd go for it, definitely. It is important, a blessing you might say.

Being a truthseeker changes things for a lot of/most of us.

Certainly. Being free even more. ;)

And do you really want a relationship amongst all this rapid change? Is it worth the effort? Is a relationship important?

I am celibate until such a time as I feel like that needs to change, so a relationship of the sort you mean depends on how my feelings change, if they do.

I do believe that if you have all the intangible wonders of true love felt in relation to another human being, male or female, you should respect that, nurture it and work so that it endures. Provided the feelings are mutual and requited, of course...

It is important to know the love inside before expressing it without. Too many times relationships fail because this self-exploration is never done by either partner, and so they confuse the things they have to give to each other. If you don't know what love you have inside to give, you'll probably make the mistake of thinking sex, material things or money will suffice to preserve a sacred bond. You will be wrong, too.

:)

thirdwave

24-03-2008, 01:37 AM

johntrevy

24-03-2008, 01:42 AM

As i stated in a previous post. It all depends on expectation, if youve got these ideas or expectations that can never be forfilled you are heading for trouble.
"I expect my girl/guy to be good in bed"
"i expect my guy/girl to have lots of money"
"I expect my guy/girl to be in my dominion"

Instead of thinking thoughts of

"okay so my guy/girl isnt so good in bed, but he/she is such a sweet person inside and that outweighs somthing external"

"We arent the richest couple, but we are happy and we get by because we have somthing more important than money. And that is Eachother"

"I love my guy/girl, but i know he/she has his/her own path to follow. It would be selfish and immoral to keep him/her under my thumb"

Look at the first model. It is self focussed

Look at the second model. it is thinking of others model.

Il come back soon so you can tell me what you like better.

Edit: Notice the second model seems more fuller and rewarding, than the hollow first model.

Peace and love to all.

Johntrevy.

amethyst

24-03-2008, 02:29 AM

I feel genuine love is very rare nowadays... relationships are built around security more...

hmmm.....ok, define what you mean by genuine love, as opposed to relationships based on security

if its a manufactured relationship which the vast majority are

and what is your definition of a "manufactured relationship"?

"I expect my girl/guy to be good in bed"
"i expect my guy/girl to have lots of money"
"I expect my guy/girl to be in my dominion"

In light of being a "truthseeker", isn't this all rather shallow?

Sure, certain things may be important needs, but to me what is more important, is that someone is on the same page....and that the person you are with is an open person who willing chooses not to see the world in a narrowly defined way. That they are open to new ideas, and not closed minded.......that they choose to consider that life has a lot of mystery....especially if you really are a genuine truthseeker.

I feel some people think they are being radical and are being truthseekers, when in actuality they are just being rebellious, and not genuinely interested in finding "truth". Posers, in other words.

johntrevy

24-03-2008, 02:45 AM

amethyst

24-03-2008, 06:01 PM

Of course the first model is shallow. I woulndt think of it any other way. Which is why i liked the second model better. The second model promotes selflessness, as opposed to selfishness of the first.

Yes, I agree. Maybe this sounds idealistic, but isn't this the way it's "supposed" to be?

There is so many roadblocks that seem to get in the way of achieving the "second model".

From others opinions, what are some of the "roadblocks"?

mountain

24-03-2008, 06:03 PM

Its important when the man and woman in the relationship are whole with themselves and respect one another and encourage each other with positive energy.... they never compete, rather they bind their talents and ideas to make a lasting union where there is ultimate fulfillment. :):):)

A relationship based on just the pleasure of sex will never survive and will only result in bitterness. A true love connection starts with trust and friendship and the best love-making and intimacy will surely follow. :)

chinchilla

24-03-2008, 06:13 PM

Just marking the thread, I'll reply later when I got time!

beldazar

24-03-2008, 07:38 PM

someone who wont laugh if you talk about aliens, lol

antiem

24-03-2008, 08:43 PM

amethyst

25-03-2008, 12:50 AM

I was in the interesting situation of marriage and having a baby, when I started to awake. So, to find my path through THERE, was challenging! ;)
It took its time, but we've formed our relationship completely new and hadn't to split up, fortunately. (I wasn't so sure about that...)
The patriarchality of it has now completely gone. We don't have no more sex and without that we found a complete new way to connect. It's much more respectful and understanding. I now have changed from the little mouse, trying to make happy everyone but me to a self-confident woman, mummy and wife. Once started it happened really fast and I apreciate that my husband still keeps up with me.

Thanks for your comments antiem.....um sorry, seriously, I mean no disrespect, but how is not having sex anymore a positive in your relationship :confused:

I take the view that two people should be 'connected" spirit, mind AND body.

They all go together IMO. When one part is out of balance, you will be lacking an important part of the unity in your relationship.

grannymoose

25-03-2008, 01:23 AM

umm an easy one.
i want nothing more then i already have :)
i,m with a women that is amazing! were not just together for security or thats she's good at a certain type of thing. i know she's amazing becouse, she never complains, she looks after my 2 children from a previous relationship, both now teenages plus our baby of 7 months and me, Our house is a shrine you could eat your dinner off the floor, she works, and always even though i know she's tierd makes time for me.
I love this women with everything i have and am, i adore everything she says i just love to hear her speak love to just watch her speak :)
she listens to everything i say and never doubts the new me, we both agree with everything thats happening, we speak daily about this forum and the posts.
our sex life is amazing we don't just have sex it's hard to explain we just join!
I met her on the internet 6 years ago, i,m british and she's spanish, if we look back at our we met and how we ended up here it's unexplainable it seems impossible.
i thank everyday and every minute i,m able to be with this women and my children, and to be honest they say love is noting more than a chemical, thats a lie! i fall in love with this women again and again everyday i hate being away from her and i know she hates being away from me, we laugh and joke about sms sending, i average a tex to her every hour when i,m out and you can garunte she sends 2 and hour. i even sense when i,m to recieve one :)
when she went home to sapin without me last december i couldn't sleep and nor ate good, i lost 3 stone 2 pounds, she in spain also at 4 am in the morning would phone to make sure i was ok and many a night would cry, she came back having lost 1 stone ( she was happy at this those jeans now fit she wore before having the baby hehehe).
it's like tonight we sat with the tv off, kids in bed baby asleep and we just talked about silly things the colours of flowers.

i know some of you may sit and read this and say " this guys is in cuckoo cuckoo land," but trust me i,ve no reason to lie here :)
i hope and sincerley wish that you all find this kind of person i have in my life at some point.

stikmata

25-03-2008, 05:33 AM

I feel genuine love is very rare nowadays... relationships are built around security more...

Nowadays opposed to.... when?!

the further I think back in time, it seems like relationships were MORE about security and less about "love".... particularly since women were unable to make a living on their own.

As for what I want from a relationship... hmmmmm... respect, adoration and freedom pretty much covers it.

I think having "awake" and/or activist partners is WAY overrated. Sure, it's nice to hold similar beliefs, but when you make that a priority in a relationship you're bound to get in unnecessary arguments/discussions that make the already stressful task of maintaining a relationship even more difficult.

truthseekeruk

25-03-2008, 05:56 AM

This is going to be hard, I have to limit myself on this post because I could go on about this one (I know its hard to believe):confused:

You know when a relationship is right for you when you can be yourself and feel totally comfortable with that person as you would if you are alone. If you have to pretend, to hold back or to withhold something through fear of upsetting other person then something isnt right.

Its possible to have relationships with many different people at once. I am not talking sexual I am talking friendships family. We get something different from each relationship. There are many different kinds of love, but love is a universal thing. Love makes you happy, love can make you cry, angry, hurts. Love makes you realise that you are alive.

I have a fella in my life who I met by accident. I wasnt looking for a relationship . I would say he is the first "grown up" relationship i have had. It works for us because I dont expect anythng of him, demand anything of him aside from honesty. Hes lied to me a couple of times and I found out and went ape at him. It was something silly and he thought I overracted. I reacted so badly not because of what he lied about but the fact that HE HAD LIED which told me that if he can lie over small things he would lie over big things. It makes me question his loyalty. I am not kidding myself that he would die for me, he would put himself first the same way I would, he doesnt have to believe and agree with the things that I do.

He walked out a couple of weeks ago because of the interest I was taking in NWO he walked out not because he hated me or he was bored of me talking about the same subject. He walked out because I was opening his eyes and he was afraid. He ran back to his old life, friends and the security and familiarty of the life he knew before. But he came back after two days. Once you have certain knowledge you cannot forget it. He will never be the same again.

He tries to seek comfort in his computer and car (but I know that is an escape he is trying very hard to stay asleep). I feel bad sometimes that I am getting him to open his eyes. Its not always a blessing and not everyone thanks you for it.

Saying that we are not soppy, superficial we have real passion. We have extremes of emotion between us, anger, arguments, tears, passion. That is what I mean by a "grown up" relationship. We can express our feelings and thoughts and still communicate. He sometimes shuts off from communicating and I have to back off and leave him. He eventually comes round.

I know some people talk about soul mates/perfect partners but I honestly dont believe they exist or that they are the exception rather than the rule. Its the ability to be with someone be happy/sad but most of all be able to be yourself.

As for the sex well, lets just say when you connect with somone on a level other than the physical the sex is mindblowing. Our relationship is unconditional the only condition I demand of him is honesty.

Like a lot of you on here after being lied to all my life. I have developed an allergy or phobia to liars. Its one of the worst things someone can do to me if I find out they have lied.

Another thing with relationships that works is equality. Most relationships exist on a balance of power a trade off. Imbalance will create problems. You have to do as much as each other.

Respect is very important, respect for yourslef and respect for the other persons views and feelings.

NEVER try to change another person. If you cannot accept them for who or what they are then you should not be with them.

I think most people look for the "perfect" partner and consequently will be disappointed. Relationships are a mixture and balance of many things. When you really like most of those things then its got a great chance of working.

Some people think matching IQs is important ie intellectualy compatible. I dont agree. this is part of the acceptance. We all have strengths and weaknesses. If you feel you are superior intellectually physically or looks wise to someone then you ought to be having a love affair with yourself because it will never work (balance of power and respect).

My fella is a bit of a nerd or geek cos he is is love with his computer, plays online wargames, and loves typical boys stuff which makes my brain go into meltdown because it doesnt interest me. He also has strong autistic traits. He finds it hard to express his emotions and likes to do things in a certain way. He has been raised with strong ideas of whats right and whats wrong (his dad was in army).

He sometimes takes interests in things and has totally pointless conversations about things that I will never need to know about (bearing in mind I live in south london near croydon). I will give an example.

Yesterday he said to me that "sainsburys in Bracknell" where is is from is having a refit he went into sainsburys and couldnt find things because it had all been moved about. I looked at him and laughed. He got upset and started to sulk. I explained to him.

"Why the feck did you tell me that? I dont shop in sainsburys I dont live in bracknell, I didnt really need to hear that". It was totally pointless. I can be very sarcastic and he hates it. I said to him "I can now sleep at night knowing that sainsburys in bracknell are havign a refit and that all their stock has been moved about, shall I ring the Tabloids and tell them?" He walked away grumbling and sulked for a few hours until I made him a cup of coffee.

He likes little things/details but I dont put energy or effort into something I feel is unimportant. So we are very different but it works.

Because we are different sexes we will never agree on everything and will always be fighting or disagreeing over something, espeicaly when I have PMT:mad:. If I had a relationship where someone agreed with me the whole time I would lose respect for that person (nooone respects a doormat or lap dog).

To sum up what I think makes a perefect relationship.

1. Ability to communicate
2. Honesty - ability to be yourself no pretending.
3. Trust
5. A Good healthy balance
6. Acceptance
7. Mutual respect.

One important thing is that the idea of love that most of us have is a work of fiction like the holy bible. It leads us to have unrealistic expectations so therefore many live discontented lives and are unfulfilled. Mills and Boons fireworks do not exist outside of fairy tales.

A perfect relationship is where both parties work hard to maintain the relationship.

My thoughts

Peace x

talkingchimp

25-03-2008, 07:20 AM

cheese scones!

thirdwave

25-03-2008, 10:47 AM

hmmm.....ok, define what you mean by genuine love, as opposed to relationships based on security

genuine love is when your soul resonates with another's, its a process of nature.., the ones based on security are either so people can afford a place to live... fit in with out feeling a cast out.... supporting each others weaknesses rather the dealing with them....

and what is your definition of a "manufactured relationship"?
same as above... created by the expectations of society and the needs of it... convenience and desperation and fear of not finding a real partner... so its easy to fall in love with a manufactured relationship....

antiem

25-03-2008, 10:47 AM

Thanks for your comments antiem.....um sorry, seriously, I mean no disrespect, but how is not having sex anymore a positive in your relationship :confused:

I take the view that two people should be 'connected" spirit, mind AND body.

They all go together IMO. When one part is out of balance, you will be lacking an important part of the unity in your relationship.

Of course, you're completely right, that should be the perfect state! I see now that I've read my post again, that I didn't write it clearly; it is the CURRENT state of my relationship. It's not the perfect state, and I don't want to stay like that, but it has advanced from the patriarchalic relationship ("lying ready" whenever he needs... ;)) to a more balanced emotional one. IMO THIS is the start for the proper and healthy relationship. First emotional, then it can get more and more physical. Both parts are extremely important.
I hope, this is a clearer explenation from my side...
Thank you.

alice34

25-03-2008, 10:55 AM

My maxim is that all healthy rellationships have a golden thread running through them, and that is friendship. All else is nectar.

intruder

25-03-2008, 12:30 PM

honesty, empathy, purpose, fidelity (which doesn't mean that you remain with me 'til death do us part) ideally, when people love and 'commit' fidelity "should" be the aphrodisiac. to support, nurture, teach and be taught. friendship, laughter, acceptance of the good times and the 'bad' times.

chinchilla

25-03-2008, 01:29 PM

It's nice to see different views to one subject matter, that's something I like about this forum!

My view on relationships would fall to control. I'm a very in control person but I'm not controlling. This used to make me very arrogant which a lot of people hated, especially when I was right :p I toned down my arrogance to just over confidence, which I feel is better than being at mid point, so this gives me demand characteristics with relationships, they are:

Adventurous
Intelligent
Attractive
Funny sense of humour
Very Social
Loyal to her friends and myself
Interesting
Sophisticated

I know quite a few people will feel this a bland list of expectations that cannot be achieved and shouldn't be demanded upon people, and that's fine.

Currently, I'm with an attractive girl who is 19. I'm 21. She knew instantly that I am highly different and I often show my independence. With control, 70% me controlling, leaving her with 30% control is working extremely well.

With those control ratios I could tell her anything and she will conscious apply effort to learn more, understand that area - for instance if I was to introduce her to this forum, she would not for 1 second doubt me.

Would this make me a controlling person? Maybe. I pose situations and ideas, and she is favourable to them. I wouldn't push my will upon anyone, because that would urge countermeasures of anger/anxiety.

I don't see her often because I'm busy, but she smiles all the time she's with me - so I can't see how a relationship can survive without control to the masculine party.

He walked out a couple of weeks ago because of the interest I was taking in NWO he walked out not because he hated me or he was bored of me talking about the same subject. He walked out because I was opening his eyes and he was afraid. He ran back to his old life, friends and the security and familiarty of the life he knew before. But he came back after two days. Once you have certain knowledge you cannot forget it. He will never be the same again.

NEVER try to change another person. If you cannot accept them for who or what they are then you should not be with them.

First of all, beautifully written!

But, wouldn't changing his perspective towards things he may not understand, comprehend and ultimately change his life, be something you said you should never do?

I feel positively changing someone for the better is highly acceptable and I often do this!

emerald

25-03-2008, 01:51 PM

As true love&friendship are rarer and rarer nowadays, its not hard to guess what future holds in for me. I am as realistic as one can be, especially that now, awaken, I see things in a different way. I havent even found that smb to match me at least 50%, what to say about others... But being alone/lonely, doesnt mean being unhappy...

amethyst

25-03-2008, 02:24 PM

I am as realistic as one can be, especially that now, awaken, I see things in a different way. I havent even found that smb to match me at least 50%,

Same here fellow precious jewel ;)

so I can't see how a relationship can survive without control to the masculine party.

You're only 21, so you can be forgiven for your statement :D

honesty, empathy, purpose, fidelity (which doesn't mean that you remain with me 'til death do us part) ideally, when people love and 'commit' fidelity "should" be the aphrodisiac. to support, nurture, teach and be taught. friendship, laughter, acceptance of the good times and the 'bad' times.

Yep. I agree.
My maxim is that all healthy rellationships have a golden thread running through them, and that is friendship. All else is nectar.

I like this yes, very much.....the 'golden thread" of friendship :) Certainly would produce good nectar no? :D

genuine love is when your soul resonates with another's, its a process of nature.., the ones based on security are either so people can afford a place to live... fit in with out feeling a cast out.... supporting each others weaknesses rather the dealing with them....

I see what you mean....the need for "security" instead of genuine resonance in a relationship......I posted in another thread about this.... I think the desire for so much "stuff", that tptb try and shove down our throats saying we need this and that, when we really don't "need' as much stuff as we think we do, can kill a relationship, because one is just trying to keep up with society's norms, instead of focusing on what's important in your relationship.

It's one of their tactics IMO.
1. Ability to communicate
2. Honesty - ability to be yourself no pretending.
3. Trust
5. A Good healthy balance
6. Acceptance
7. Mutual respect.

All important stuff.

truthseekeruk

25-03-2008, 02:26 PM

But, wouldn't changing his perspective towards things he may not understand, comprehend and ultimately change his life, be something you said you should never do?

I feel positively changing someone for the better is highly acceptable and I often do this!

Hi I agree if you look at telling someone something or showing someone something that you change them, then yes. But I feel he has the right to know. If he chooses to not believe thats down to him. I cannot force him neither do i want to.

Changing someones mind, is not changing who or what they are, they just see things differently.

amethyst

25-03-2008, 02:33 PM

This fits......

Otters Holding Hands! Love those cute little otters!!!! :D

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22707

angelmoon

25-03-2008, 04:15 PM

I feel genuine love is very rare nowadays... relationships are built around security more...

for me personally I find relationships with women hard unless they are very open minded as I cant really play a roll, I have to be my self and cant really be something that society creates... IMO too many people are just playing rolls...

if you are lucky enough to find a genuine partner then I believe it just strengthens your energy of who you are and what you want to put out... you have a close friend to assist you in your spiritual path.

if its a manufactured relationship which the vast majority are... you end up going through life although maybe just about content but not really on your true path and this will become more and more apparent as life goes on.....

I totally agree with thirdwave on this one, i was in a relationship for 18yrs and although i felt a great love for my partner i accepted the fact that i couldn't grow spiritually as i was facing a brick wall if i ever tried to express views of which we discuss freely on this site.

i must say i sometimes envyed others ability to just exist and accept without question, i realized very early in my life that people were playing roles as shakespeare said "the worlds a stage" i of course thought there was something wrong with my reasoning and reactions to life, which is isolating and lonely at the times when i am true to my self

As a social being i have played the game at times thorough out my life, engaging in absolute bullshit just to fit in, but i find this increasingly difficult and dislike my self at times because of it,but being true to my self has again placed me into isolation and loneliness.

i dearly miss having someone to love and love me back and this extenuates the loneliness i would love to have a person to walk with me on this journey and i curse my awareness at times, but mostly i know i am blessed with it

x x

synergy777

25-03-2008, 04:17 PM

the tv remote, lol

you want a 50/50 partnership of friend/lover

you want to give them the support/confidence/freedom to develop themselves but also have unity/loyalty/trust.

chinchilla

25-03-2008, 05:35 PM

You're only 21, so you can be forgiven for your statement :D

I haven't seen a single happy/successful relationship that wasn't in control of a masculine presence!

When the female applies the role of dominance, this highly intimidates the male into inadequacy. Then arguments, problems occur!

From your story, you are the dominant person in the relationship who sets the rules and boundaries whether consciously or unconsciously you are intimidating your partner into submission with interests, hobbies, enjoyments and ideas of his world. This leads to problems, where he will feel he isn't respected equally and will employ tactics to challenge you, or stay submissive - either way problems will occur!

Plus, I don't think age matters. Don't be stereotypical :p

I totally agree with thirdwave on this one, i was in a relationship for 18yrs and although i felt a great love for my partner i accepted the fact that i couldn't grow spiritually as i was facing a brick wall if i ever tried to express views of which we discuss freely on this site.

i must say i sometimes envyed others ability to just exist and accept without question, i realized very early in my life that people were playing roles as shakespeare said "the worlds a stage" i of course thought there was something wrong with my reasoning and reactions to life, which is isolating and lonely at the times when i am true to my self

As a social being i have played the game at times thorough out my life, engaging in absolute bullshit just to fit in, but i find this increasingly difficult and dislike my self at times because of it,but being true to my self has again placed me into isolation and loneliness.

i dearly miss having someone to love and love me back and this extenuates the loneliness i would love to have a person to walk with me on this journey and i curse my awareness at times, but mostly i know i am blessed with it

x x

Optimism and positive mental attitudes can achieve anything. There is actual parapsychological research into positive mental attitudes and attracting partners.

Imagine you're perfect partner, a person you will love and who will love you back. This person will be perfect to how you feel you desire. Imagine this person peacefully in an alpha state, which is a relaxed meditation type area. Laws of attraction will set forth and this partner will come to you. You will never logically explain how, but it will happen.

Obviously the reason behind this isn't 100% but the main agreed upon reason is the law of attraction. Something you think about long enough with your conscious mind and energy will be transferred to your subconscious mind. Your subconscious mind then begins to work on the problem at hand, the problem being your desire for something/someone that may not be available immediately. Your subconscious will use your entire life data bank to assemble plans and goals that you will not be aware about, to obtain this partner. Example - You will suddenly get an urge to go on holiday, and you start noticing holiday plans to Spain. Your subconscious mind using your life long information has come to the conclusion your desire may be obtainable in Spain.

If you are positive you can obtain anything, the hardest part is staying positive in the face of failure. But this always helps me, "You either succeed or learn, you never fail"

As true love&friendship are rarer and rarer nowadays, its not hard to guess what future holds in for me. I am as realistic as one can be, especially that now, awaken, I see things in a different way. I havent even found that smb to match me at least 50%, what to say about others... But being alone/lonely, doesnt mean being unhappy...

If your avatar is you, you look unhappy. Maybe trying the above exercise will enlighten you to the positive side of life and will eliminate any problems you currently have. Finding love is an easy task with a positive mind, since you don't shunt away opportunities because fear, bad experiences which permit you to say "No" to a person who likes you. Positive is the way forward, it;s the only way to grow. Negative is the only way to stay still, move forward and get what you want!

amethyst

25-03-2008, 06:10 PM

I haven't seen a single happy/successful relationship that wasn't in control of a masculine presence!

When the female applies the role of dominance, this highly intimidates the male into inadequacy. Then arguments, problems occur!

From your story, you are the dominant person in the relationship who sets the rules and boundaries whether consciously or unconsciously you are intimidating your partner into submission with interests, hobbies, enjoyments and ideas of his world. This leads to problems, where he will feel he isn't respected equally and will employ tactics to challenge you, or stay submissive - either way problems will occur!

Plus, I don't think age matters. Don't be stereotypical

Hi chinchilla,

Just to let you know, I wasn't picking on you....you wrote a nice post....I was just commenting on the comment you made.

I agree with you, if one of the sex's dominates, that is not good IMO, because it can lead to hard feelings on either side....and cause a lot of misunderstanding.

My opinion is, I don't think either sex should try and dominate one another but work to try and compliment each other and bring out the best in one another......I just don't see domination on either side as a way of helping the relationship work.

For example, being that men are generally stronger (physically) than women, I really do appreciate that strength in a man, and like it when the guy shows strength and courage....and yeah, a bit of cockiness too.....at the appropriate times ;) I think it's a turn on for most women.

But, on the other hand, if a guy uses that same strength to demean or physically beat a woman, what was once a "blessing", now becomes a curse, if you get my drift.

So, all in all, I think that the idea of one sex dominating over another sex is a bit outdated thinking. Complementing each others "gifts" and understanding our differences is the way to go..but not trying to dominate one another......But that's just my opinion.

danster82

25-03-2008, 06:11 PM

I would say the answer to why relationships tend to not work is held within the title of this thread.

Because it basicly balls down to what do I want from this person, i.e conditional love.

The unspoken rule between partners is you be who I want you to be and I will be who you want me to be and we have a deal.

angelmoon

25-03-2008, 06:30 PM

Thank you Chinchilla for a thoughtful reply i am sure you are right.

i had kept my self away from entering into any feelings with the opposite sex now for 6yrs still grieving the loss of my partner who i would have lay down my life for and found it hard to come to terms with his betrayal and his departure from mine and our sons life, i hated hearing that time will heal etc

i have been emotionally unwell since he left but it all came to a head over Christmas with frightening panic attacks, but after having a blood test i have found out i had a virus that effects the brain which has been the reason for the attacks, i am now on the mend and i see the life i have in a different way, so in a way the panic attacks have been a blessing

i met a guy at the march i went on recently "stop the war" and he is coming to visit me tomorrow :D, i feel there is a chemistry between us but have no expectations as i m finally content to live in the moment and understand with the lessons of my life that every thing changes and to "cease the day" x x

chinchilla

25-03-2008, 08:10 PM

Hi chinchilla,

Just to let you know, I wasn't picking on you....you wrote a nice post....I was just commenting on the comment you made.

I didn't mean for my post to a be some sort of retaliation, just a little deeper understand of how I approach relationships, I'm not saying your way is wrong and my way is ultimate! It's just it's my angle which I use. I didn't think you was picking on me, hence the :p I used! :p

I agree with you, if one of the sex's dominates, that is not good IMO, because it can lead to hard feelings on either side....and cause a lot of misunderstanding.

I'm quite nifty with my psychology and other sciences so I tend to use them a lot in my understanding of this world and everything in it. This has led me to believe facts regarding our brain.

We are, as are animals dependent on certain things, these are called the hierarchy of needs. No need to go into great detail but I'll just give relationship examples from this area.

A typical female when selecting a male will be 20% based on looks and 80% based on personality characteristics, these include security, dominance, leadership etc since these would have been EXTREMELY attractive characteristics of when our brain developed, and since our brains are still hardwired with these outdated principles of survival and creating better children through genes, females are the same now as they were thousands of years ago. So media, culture, society may change but as studies show women from all nations, all religions, all societies, even the indigenous women in the middle of nowhere are attracted to the same characteristics in males.

So that's my point, a typical female would much prefer to be in the passenger seat of a relationship with a man who has security, leadership, dominance to protect her, himself and their family long enough to pass on genes to the next generation. 70% male control and 30% female control comes into play here.

The most stressed people in the world are females in dominance job roles, such as CEOs. This is because they HATE being in a non-feminine situation, and these types are extremely submissive sexually to attempt to balance it out.

My opinion is, I don't think either sex should try and dominate one another but work to try and compliment each other and bring out the best in one another......I just don't see domination on either side as a way of helping the relationship work.

There is always a leader, nothing is ever equal. If it were equal one of the partners would try to gain 51% control. It's how we are built, babies do it. So that rules out social conditioning, this means it's completely normal for people to compete for dominance or control. But, not in a male/female relationship, these only occur in a male/male and female/female relationship, be it friends or lovers etc. With a male/female relationship the female typically would much prefer the man to have more control, since submissiveness is an extremely feminine trait and it's social conditioning that tells you that "YOU SHOULD STAND UP! YOU SHOULD BE A MASCULINE WOMAN AND TELL YOUR MAN WHAT TO DO, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" which is complete crap in my opinion.

I love women very much, and I laugh when women attempt to manipulate because deep down I feel sorry that they think they have to.

For example, being that men are generally stronger (physically) than women, I really do appreciate that strength in a man, and like it when the guy shows strength and courage....and yeah, a bit of cockiness too.....at the appropriate times ;) I think it's a turn on for most women.

But, on the other hand, if a guy uses that same strength to demean or physically beat a woman, what was once a "blessing", now becomes a curse, if you get my drift.

So, all in all, I think that the idea of one sex dominating over another sex is a bit outdated thinking. Complementing each others "gifts" and understanding our differences is the way to go..but not trying to dominate one another......But that's just my opinion.

Strength is again a masculine trait that attracts women, whether it be physical or intellectual strength, since these are survival traits which females desire.

I'd never harm a female, doesn't matter what she did, because I know she doesn't want to do it.

Being female is a hard job, I've got to give that to you. All the effort you've all got to go through to impress males is outstanding, which gives young women the highest statistical rates of suicide for that very reason and I completely object to social conditioning through media for that very reason.

If you didn't want a man to be with you, to be your security, your leader, your rock, your mountain or whatever you'd want to call it, you all wouldn't try so hard to attract one.

Being a man is uncommon these days, you mostly see grown up boys - these grown up boys are another product of media conditioning and you will know the difference when you find a real man because you will allow him to lead you completely willingly.

Thank you Chinchilla for a thoughtful reply i am sure you are right.

i had kept my self away from entering into any feelings with the opposite sex now for 6yrs still grieving the loss of my partner who i would have lay down my life for and found it hard to come to terms with his betrayal and his departure from mine and our sons life, i hated hearing that time will heal etc

i have been emotionally unwell since he left but it all came to a head over Christmas with frightening panic attacks, but after having a blood test i have found out i had a virus that effects the brain which has been the reason for the attacks, i am now on the mend and i see the life i have in a different way, so in a way the panic attacks have been a blessing

i met a guy at the march i went on recently "stop the war" and he is coming to visit me tomorrow :D, i feel there is a chemistry between us but have no expectations as i m finally content to live in the moment and understand with the lessons of my life that every thing changes and to "cease the day" x x

This isn't an area I can completely talk about since I have never had someone I know leave my life, be they die or move away etc.

But, shutting out feelings that are positive is an extremely unhealthy habit and I'm extremely glad that you've kicked it and you're on your way back up to the top, where you belong.

You will almost certainly have issues with trust floating about, but embrace these and move on because these issues could ruin future events since your brain assumes the past will repeat because it doesn't know the future and attempts to predict. This is called suffering when you attempt to see the future which leads to anxiety, which leads to either masochism or impulsiveness which can bring you back down.

You are completely free to do whatever you want to do, so do it regardless of worries. As long as your safe, your son's safe, then you can be completely happy without worry in any relationship with any person you desire. :)

amethyst

25-03-2008, 10:11 PM

I didn't mean for my post to a be some sort of retaliation, just a little deeper understand of how I approach relationships, I'm not saying your way is wrong and my way is ultimate! It's just it's my angle which I use. I didn't think you was picking on me, hence the :p I used! :p

I'm quite nifty with my psychology and other sciences so I tend to use them a lot in my understanding of this world and everything in it. This has led me to believe facts regarding our brain.

We are, as are animals dependent on certain things, these are called the hierarchy of needs. No need to go into great detail but I'll just give relationship examples from this area.

A typical female when selecting a male will be 20% based on looks and 80% based on personality characteristics, these include security, dominance, leadership etc since these would have been EXTREMELY attractive characteristics of when our brain developed, and since our brains are still hardwired with these outdated principles of survival and creating better children through genes, females are the same now as they were thousands of years ago. So media, culture, society may change but as studies show women from all nations, all religions, all societies, even the indigenous women in the middle of nowhere are attracted to the same characteristics in males.

So that's my point, a typical female would much prefer to be in the passenger seat of a relationship with a man who has security, leadership, dominance to protect her, himself and their family long enough to pass on genes to the next generation. 70% male control and 30% female control comes into play here.

The most stressed people in the world are females in dominance job roles, such as CEOs. This is because they HATE being in a non-feminine situation, and these types are extremely submissive sexually to attempt to balance it out.

There is always a leader, nothing is ever equal. If it were equal one of the partners would try to gain 51% control. It's how we are built, babies do it. So that rules out social conditioning, this means it's completely normal for people to compete for dominance or control. But, not in a male/female relationship, these only occur in a male/male and female/female relationship, be it friends or lovers etc. With a male/female relationship the female typically would much prefer the man to have more control, since submissiveness is an extremely feminine trait and it's social conditioning that tells you that "YOU SHOULD STAND UP! YOU SHOULD BE A MASCULINE WOMAN AND TELL YOUR MAN WHAT TO DO, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!" which is complete crap in my opinion.

I love women very much, and I laugh when women attempt to manipulate because deep down I feel sorry that they think they have to.

Strength is again a masculine trait that attracts women, whether it be physical or intellectual strength, since these are survival traits which females desire.

I'd never harm a female, doesn't matter what she did, because I know she doesn't want to do it.

Being female is a hard job, I've got to give that to you. All the effort you've all got to go through to impress males is outstanding, which gives young women the highest statistical rates of suicide for that very reason and I completely object to social conditioning through media for that very reason.

If you didn't want a man to be with you, to be your security, your leader, your rock, your mountain or whatever you'd want to call it, you all wouldn't try so hard to attract one.

Being a man is uncommon these days, you mostly see grown up boys - these grown up boys are another product of media conditioning and you will know the difference when you find a real man because you will allow him to lead you completely willingly.

This isn't an area I can completely talk about since I have never had someone I know leave my life, be they die or move away etc.

But, shutting out feelings that are positive is an extremely unhealthy habit and I'm extremely glad that you've kicked it and you're on your way back up to the top, where you belong.

You will almost certainly have issues with trust floating about, but embrace these and move on because these issues could ruin future events since your brain assumes the past will repeat because it doesn't know the future and attempts to predict. This is called suffering when you attempt to see the future which leads to anxiety, which leads to either masochism or impulsiveness which can bring you back down.

You are completely free to do whatever you want to do, so do it regardless of worries. As long as your safe, your son's safe, then you can be completely happy without worry in any relationship with any person you desire. :)

Hmmm....Chinchilla, while the overall tenor of your post sounds plausible on the surface, I'm afraid I am going to have to disagree a bit with it.

The 70% vs. the 30% ratio in regards to the male/female relationship might work in a clinical or university setting.........but in real world life relationships, I have the belief that love in a relationship, is a lot more organic and an ever changing one, than such a cut and dry scenario.

To me, love and compatibility can't be put into a box. Love, by it's very nature has an ebb and flow to it, which is rather hard to measure according to statistics.

While I'm sure clinitians would like to put statistics on the measurement of Love, and it could be done possibly in an clinical setting, I still don't think this is a realistic model,that works in a real world setting.

Sure, if someone wants to live their life in a highly controled and rigidly defined way....sure, proceeding to accomplish the proper "ratios' in a relationship just might work...for a while..for that type of individual.....eventually tho, I think someone in this type of relationship is going to grow weary of trying to live up to unlivable expectations. It may work in the short term, but eventually, something has got to give, as no one is a perfect individual.....and we don't live in a perfect world.

We all make mistakes and we all can grow from those mistakes.
But for me, because the nature of love is indefineable and is full of surprises, I wouldn't want to put any sort of statistical measurement on it.

I think that a relationship should develope organically, both partners having a willingness to give of themselves to each other. And when both parners are willing to give of themselves, the "job' as you wrote, is not such a difficult task for either male or female, as your desire is to please the other one, and not think of yourself as much.

freeworld

25-03-2008, 10:46 PM

Personally i have been single for about 5 years, i never seem to really meet anyone on my level, i find that most women i meet are wrapped up in insignificant shite and i just can't communicate with someone like that, i never find them interesting whatsoever and if i am honest i just simply play the field whenever i feel i have to but even then the day after i feel like utter crap and i always feel that it was not worth it.

I would love to have a relationship with someone on my level but i certainly aint looking cos i don't think there is anyone out there who i could cope with.

Singledom however is great and i love my own space, im going on a bit now bloodyhell sounds like i am writing a profile on some find a date site ha ha.

Just in case there is anyone out there, im right here waiting for ya pmsl hahaha.

http://img370.imageshack.us/img370/1087/n5194606969716331970sg8.th.jpg (http://img370.imageshack.us/my.php?image=n5194606969716331970sg8.jpg)

angelmoon

25-03-2008, 11:26 PM

stikmata

25-03-2008, 11:29 PM

I don't understand why everyone thinks the "good ol days" was filled with all this "true love". Because the divorce rate was low? Because you've read fairy tales of chivalry and happily ever afters?

What if this romanticized vision of "love" and the institution of marriage and the concept of monogamy was the figurative "blue pill"/Soma that was designed to keep the masses entranced and functioning well below their total capacity?

beldazar

25-03-2008, 11:40 PM

yes stikmata, Im not sure there were any good ole days, most people stayed together because there was no welfare system, women werent able to cope on their own so stayed with their husbands for financial reasons. Lots of women who got pregnant out of wedlock had their babies adopted too. Boy, have I been lucky! Just like you freeworld, I have spent many years on my own, (more than you, lol,) and if it hadnt been for state handouts, things could have been very different.
If you delve into the past, affairs were common-place, especially on the mans side, (although not always) but they were simply tolerated to keep up the charade of a loving family.
This outlook is kind of depressing, Im sure there were also many cases of loving relationships but sometimes I think we expect too much. Just as you say stikmata, the fairy tales give you the wrong impression sometimes, tho I admit that I go all emotional when I hear of couples staying together for years and love each other very much :o

222oningt

26-03-2008, 12:58 AM

In this "time of revealing" which I happen to believe we are in, what do you want out of a relationship with another person or "significant other"?

Being a truthseeker changes things for a lot of/most of us.

And do you really want a relationship amongst all this rapid change? Is it worth the effort? Is a relationship important?

Your thoughts?
I just want real love, don't we all? LOVE!

2013

26-03-2008, 01:02 AM

When you are confident enough to be yourself then you Can be happy within a relationship .not being confident doesn't negate happiness within one , we often find happy times within all situations , but to be at peace with yourself enough to be at peace with another is the hardest part .If you can just be still and silent with another person is a good sign , it shows you have grown into each other . But ultimately we are all on our own journey ,and that path takes us down a lonely road at times one we have to travel alone on occasion .I quoted this on another thread its by the author Paulo coelho
Original sin was not the apple eve ate , it was her belief thatadam had to share precisely the thing she had tasted.Eve was afraid to follow her own path without someone to help her ,and so she wanted to share what she was feeling
that sums it up pretty well i feel .Having said that its good to have someone there to talk with and keep you company and hold when you need it all relationships help us to understand who we are , sometimes to the point of moving on from them but it doesn't always have to be so .Thats why our other halves are our split apart we dont stay joined at the hip in a physical sense :D

2013

26-03-2008, 01:08 AM

As for marriage marriage's dont fail people do , we dont keep the vows we took , its down to us the actual ceremony is worded quiet well i think , we fail or dont really think it out beforehand , thats probably why people stopped getting married for a time because we realize we change and are totally different people in various stages of life and the marriage ceremony doesn't account for that .maybe it needs a time out clause .Marriage after all is a wonderful institution , (all together now :D) but who wants to live in an institution

truthseekeruk

26-03-2008, 02:09 AM

I The unspoken rule between partners is you be who I want you to be and I will be who you want me to be and we have a deal.

Brilliant you summed up in one sentence what I tried to say with a gazillion words:eek:

Respect:o

Peace x

truthseekeruk

26-03-2008, 02:16 AM

Original sin was not the apple eve ate , it was her belief thatadam had to share precisely the thing she had tasted.Eve was afraid to follow her own path without someone to help her ,and so she wanted to share what she was feeling

My feelings on this is that Adam and Eve were once one being. They were split. Eve needed Adam because he was part of herself. We are all one.

Perhaps this is why people always search for the "perfect partner" - a "soul mate" - they are searching for the the other part of themselves?

Its amazing how comments on this site can make you look at something you have known all your life and see it from a totally different angle.

kingdavid

26-03-2008, 02:34 AM

Relationships stray and distract us form the search for the truth a knowlage

truthseekeruk

26-03-2008, 02:40 AM

Relationships stray and distract us form the search for the truth a knowlage

Agreed a bad relationship can distract and cause conflict. But a good relationship can cause harmony and strengthen you. If the relationship between a man and a woman is bonding the two halves of what was one.

What do you attempt to do this knowledge? Would the aim of learning such things be ultimately to share it with others?

knowledge is great but "knowledge is power" when you can share it with others.

amercury

26-03-2008, 02:46 AM

My maxim is that all healthy rellationships have a golden thread running through them, and that is friendship. All else is nectar.

That is so true, and awesome, and beautiful:D

2013

26-03-2008, 01:21 PM

My feelings on this is that Adam and Eve were once one being. They were split. Eve needed Adam because he was part of herself. We are all one.

Perhaps this is why people always search for the "perfect partner" - a "soul mate" - they are searching for the the other part of themselves?

Its amazing how comments on this site can make you look at something you have known all your life and see it from a totally different angle.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101523/
have you seen this movie the butchers wife with demi Moore , tells the story of our split aparts we where once one being , but the gods thought us too powerful so they separated us , ever since we have been searching for our other half :D

amethyst

26-03-2008, 02:57 PM

My feelings on this is that Adam and Eve were once one being. They were split. Eve needed Adam because he was part of herself. We are all one.

Perhaps this is why people always search for the "perfect partner" - a "soul mate" - they are searching for the the other part of themselves?

Its amazing how comments on this site can make you look at something you have known all your life and see it from a totally different angle.

I agree. We are, in essence, trying to find the other part of ourselves, since Eve was taken "out" of Adams side.

I mean, how more "oneness' can you get? "Bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh" found in Genesis 2:23. That's like really stuck together! :D

"Bone oh bone, where fore art thou, my beloved bone?" ( I'm amusing myself)

oops.....I know where this might go :rolleyes: :D

chinchilla

26-03-2008, 03:14 PM

Most of my statements towards relationships fall into one area. That is our 3D selves, I'm not talking about all the spiritual connection between love and all that because that's not part of my relationship model.

I doubt relationships would be required in a non 3 dimensional environment.

This would then boil down to be that love is simply a compound of chemicals called P.E.A's which are released into the brain during first attraction and realisation that the partner is suitable to carry the genes on to the next generation.

These chemicals stay in the brain for a maximum of 3 years, after 3 years you are very lucky to be a "love" you are more than likely in affection which is a normal emotion towards for example, a family member.

There is only 3 years, because the man is only required to hang around for the first 2 years and during pregnancy with the woman to ensure safely and protection of his child. After 3 years he is more than likely to want to impregnate another woman to spread his seed which is an excellent and efficient gene spreading mechanism.

That also explains why men cheat on their "lovers".

Women cheat on their "lovers" for the chance to be impregnated by better sperm, they simply want the best children possible which is called the "sexy son's theory".

Little interesting fact! 99% of a sperm are warrior sperm and are made to fight with other sperm in the battleground of a vagina, the other 1% are egg getters.

Humans are not meant to have relationships longer than 3 years, ones that last over this time deteriorate or split up or on rare events last forever.

The reasons they'd last forever are because of emotional attachment, insecurity, affection or laziness.

amethyst

26-03-2008, 03:21 PM

chinchilla

26-03-2008, 03:38 PM

Interesting factoids chinchilla........

Thanks for the clarification :D

no problem, I come equiped with other super cool information to, but you got to buy it separately!

:p

truthseekeruk

26-03-2008, 05:45 PM

I agree. We are, in essence, trying to find the other part of ourselves, since Eve was taken "out" of Adams side.

I mean, how more "oneness' can you get? "Bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh" found in Genesis 2:23. That's like really stuck together! :D

"Bone oh bone, where fore art thou, my beloved bone?" ( I'm amusing myself)

oops.....I know where this might go :rolleyes: :D

lol no please carry on I am enjoying it ..... sigh love is a wonderful :D

freeworld

26-03-2008, 07:59 PM

Cor blimey!!!! wish i was a bit younger i'd have a debate with you LOL :D:D

Anytime Angel, you know it makes sense darling ;) :D

truthseekeruk

27-03-2008, 08:42 AM

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101523/
have you seen this movie the butchers wife with demi Moore , tells the story of our split aparts we where once one being , but the gods thought us too powerful so they separated us , ever since we have been searching for our other half :D

no i havent, but i like demi moore so will deffo see if i can get a copy.

thanks :D

beldazar

27-03-2008, 08:46 AM

i was sent a vid about us being split, I wilk have a lok for it later, Plato was involved somewhere. Makes sense as it seems that most things have been split :)

jungle jim

27-03-2008, 10:45 AM

Relationships: What do you want from them?

Just sex :D

chinchilla

27-03-2008, 11:06 AM

Just sex :D

Survey says!

According to psychology today sex is the least important attribute in relationships. These are what are generally wanted -

Love - 53%
Companionship - 32%
Romance - 4%
Financial Security - 2%
Sex - 1%

Not a lot of people know that :p

amethyst

27-03-2008, 03:46 PM

Survey says!

According to psychology today sex is the least important attribute in relationships. These are what are generally wanted -

Love - 53%
Companionship - 32%
Romance - 4%
Financial Security - 2%
Sex - 1%

Not a lot of people know that :p

hmmm.....I don't know how accurate that survey is.....I'm always a bit suspicious of those surveys.....I mean, how many did they actually poll to get their statistics?......and they can very easily "adjust" the numbers, sort of like what they do in politics.

mountain

27-03-2008, 04:12 PM

Sex is somewhat important, only unless its sensual and deep, no wham bam thank you ma'am for me, sorry. ;)

manchurian_candidate

27-03-2008, 04:17 PM

Sex is somewhat important, only unless its sensual and deep, no wham bam thank you ma'am for me, sorry. ;)

What a classic! Makes me think of Kat Slater from Rearenders for some reason! :D

manchurian_candidate

27-03-2008, 04:19 PM

My maxim is that all healthy rellationships have a golden thread running through them, and that is friendship. All else is nectar.

Perfectly put IMO. :)

chinchilla

27-03-2008, 04:23 PM

hmmm.....I don't know how accurate that survey is.....I'm always a bit suspicious of those surveys.....I mean, how many did they actually poll to get their statistics?......and they can very easily "adjust" the numbers, sort of like what they do in politics.

Being that majority of people are sexually repressed and are nervous to even talk about sex in public I'd assume those figures are correct, I bet when a lot of people say they want "love" they also want to "make love" and they mash them together under a less nervous subject to confront, such as "love". Hence 53% :p

mountain

27-03-2008, 04:26 PM

Actually, communication is very necessary or else you will drive yourself insane trying to figure out your partner's thoughts?!! Although I believe soulmates are naturally intuitive to each other its still best to speak what is on your mind to your partner, if you respect and love them as you claim you do.

Silent treatments can be deadly, and its best to have a heart-2-heart, otherwise pre-assumptions can stir and everything can go haywire from there!

I have been in a very serious and committed relationship for 5 years and discovered that my ex-partner was quite the philanderer and liar. I refuse to deal with someone like that ever again. All I really truly want is affection, loyalty, honesty and companionship when I am involved with someone. Ofcourse passion and intimacy is important to me.

amethyst

27-03-2008, 05:08 PM

Sex is somewhat important, only unless its sensual and deep, no wham bam thank you ma'am for me, sorry. ;)

I think sex is very important in a relationship, but the whole idea of "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" has turned sex into something that it really shouldn't be......sex shouldn't be connected to the idea of "using" someone, just to rack up notches on someone's belt. Where is the respect for the other person in that idea? Why try and con someone into sleeping with you?

Why not just be up front and honest and ask them instead? No need to pretend. The other person can either say yeh, or nay. Being honest goes so much further than being deceitful IMO.

Unfortunately tho, it seems some people do have this idea that that is what it's about cuz maybe they are afraid of honesty and authenticity.

To me, it's about expressing yourself to that special someone and connecting with them on another level and being free enough to be yourself with them. And how awesome is that, that you are both sharing in this experience together! But of course there are just sometimes you have to do what you have to do with that special someone :D

But being indiscriminate about sex is not the way to go, because you are not using wise discernment when you are doing that.

Being that majority of people are sexually repressed and are nervous to even talk about sex in public I'd assume those figures are correct, I bet when a lot of people say they want "love" they also want to "make love" and they mash them together under a less nervous subject to confront, such as "love". Hence 53%

I was kinda thinking that too, that they mashed those categories together to arrive at their %'s.

octopusrex

27-03-2008, 06:04 PM

1. Good sex.
2. Tranquility.
3. Clean house.
4. Warm meals.

amethyst

27-03-2008, 06:42 PM

1. Good sex.
2. Tranquility.
3. Clean house.
4. Warm meals.

I really like that octopus rex. It all goes hand in hand :D

truthseekeruk

28-03-2008, 06:05 AM

1. Good sex.
2. Tranquility.
3. Clean house.
4. Warm meals.

I agree, perfect harmony and balance. Just like it once was. At one with ourselves our partner and the universe.

Peace x

truthseekeruk

28-03-2008, 06:23 AM

okay a thought has just occurred to me about this sex theme.

Its forbidden to masturbate, its something we are told is dirty, nasty, and will send us blind (damn my failing eyesight!):cool:.

I believe that in order to truly love another you must first uncondiotionally love yourself.

Perhaps there is a reason why masturbation, pleasure of yourself is taboo. self love vanity? After all we are ashamed to admit that we do it no matter how open we are we feel that masturbation is a shameful secret and to admit to it would open you up to ridicule.

The religion we grew up with expressly forbids masturbation, sex love of self.

I BELIEVE THIS IS DELIBERATE FOR A REASON. HAVING AN ORGASM RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPEMINS IN THE BRAIN. Things associated with pleasure, feel good and higher awareness!!

If you believe that we are all part of the same entity at one with creation and the truth. Then would it not make sense that by having a wank is simply nothing more than making love with yourself. The first step towards the ability to love?

By making love with yourself in essence you are making love with the universe and creating a good energy which as we are connected will flow in to the universe itself and create a positive atmosphere!

Is this why its forbidden. Sex is forbidden too religion trys to control us by telling us how to have sex. Catholic priesnts and nuns are celibate? This is not a natural state for a human. All that represessed sexual energy becomes negative and corrupts the natural order of things!

Okay this is my thoughts. I think I will start to plan a worldwide love your right hand day!

WANK FOR JUSTICE LOL

I am serious if anyone thinks I am pulling their plonker ;) - after all in order to allow someone elese to pull it you need to start pulling it yourself.

car bumper stickers

"Proud to Wank"
"Wankers United"

the possibilities are endless ;)

I am off to ponder and research my theory some more....i may be some time ....
Peace all x