BRITAIN'S fat people

[bicycle]

BRITAIN'S fat people are to be hounded into submission through a multi-million pound strategy of shouting and community violence.

At the heart of the programme will be 250,000 outreach counsellors who will patrol supermarket aisles looking for 'inappropriate choicemakers'.

Once they have identified a target the uniformed counsellors will approach the shopper and scream: "PUT IT DOWN FATTY! PUT IT DOWN!"

Supermarket entrances will be fitted with hidden scales and as overweight shoppers enter they will hear the sound of mooing cows and be handed a photograph of Christopher Biggins.

The counsellors will also have the power to force fat people to strip down to their underpants and run around the car park for 20 minutes.

The government's plan for 'healthy towns' will include daily calisthenics, with hundreds of uniformed citizens lined up in neat rows, swinging their arms in time to music.

The sessions will be filmed and shown before popular features at cinemas across the country. Actor Brian Cox will provide a voice-over stressing the importance of physical fitness to the struggle against international Zionism.

The 'healthy towns', or gesundestädte, will host weekly torchlit marches to the local sports stadium where the uniformed citizens will eat satsumas while watching Sir Steve Redgrave's 1996 coxless pairs triumph over and over again.

Anyone unable to lose weight will have their passport confiscated and be forced to sew a patch onto their uniform depicting a big, fat cartoon pig.

Meanwhile, health secretary Alan Johnson is urging school bullies to step up their victimisation of overweight children as part of the government's 'Let's Punch Britain Thin' programme.

[siscid]

....

I'm really not sure what to say about this one...

[mikeproteau]

no wai, i need proof, a news clipping..something

[ooparticleoo]

no wai, i need proof, a news clipping..something

:D:D:D

[thorleyart]

stop being fattest.

[zander]

Ha! that is funny, I can just imagine it..."Hay fattie get off the couch and give me 20! (but don't forget to gorge yourself on MSG and aspatame)"

[thorleyart]

or she will eat you

http://burnfatreview.com/images/obese-woman.jpg

[ravenswing]

Not all fat people eat too much!

[cruise4]

"Not all fat people eat too much!"

Yes they do. You can't put it on if you don't put it in.

But the blame may not always reside with the eater.

[ravenswing]

"Not all fat people eat too much!"

Yes they do. You can't put it on if you don't put it in.

But the blame may not always reside with the eater.

I am fat, the only way I can loose wieght is by cutting down to about 700 calories a day, as I prefer to enjoy life I don't. Some people have a medical condition, like myself, that makes loosing wieght nigh impossible. This is the experience I am having so its all good but some people can be hurt by insensitive comments that are not true.

[cruise4]

"I am fat, the only way I can loose wieght is by cutting down to about 700 calories a day, as I prefer to enjoy life I don't. Some people have a medical condition, like myself, that makes loosing wieght nigh impossible. This is the experience I am having so its all good but some people can be hurt by insensitive comments that are not true."

Sorry...don't believe a word of it. Exercise and Activate.

[dondaz]

Such a sad sight to see at such a young age!

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u39/dazp5/bigmac.jpg

[ravenswing]

"I am fat, the only way I can loose wieght is by cutting down to about 700 calories a day, as I prefer to enjoy life I don't. Some people have a medical condition, like myself, that makes loosing wieght nigh impossible. This is the experience I am having so its all good but some people can be hurt by insensitive comments that are not true."

Sorry...don't believe a word of it. Exercise and Activate.

I forgot to mention I would have to walk about 10 miles a day, I walk 3/4 miles a day now with my dogs, I enjoy gardening and have a lot of pets that I need to clean out etc and a house to keep clean. So I believe I do exercise, yes I don't eat that healthilly but I have lost weight before and I know what it takes.

Don't apologise for calling me a liar, its all good.

[kblood]

Lol, funny post :D Yea, I need proof as well. Where are these uniformed people? :p At least the UK doesnt have a famine problem.

I am fat, the only way I can loose wieght is by cutting down to about 700 calories a day, as I prefer to enjoy life I don't. Some people have a medical condition, like myself, that makes loosing wieght nigh impossible. This is the experience I am having so its all good but some people can be hurt by insensitive comments that are not true.

Since it is near impossible for some to gain weight, then I must say it has to be true the other way around as well. I have a friend who sometimes had to drink half a gallon of cream, and still would not gain much weight, due to a disease he has. I agree in many cases it has to do with what you eat and how much you exercise, but I do understand if some people just doesnt want to run 10-20% more than other people, while eathing 10-20% less of the good stuff. Not that healthy stuff is necesarrily bad tasting.

[thorleyart]

I forgot to mention I would have to walk about 10 miles a day, I walk 3/4 miles a day now with my dogs, I enjoy gardening and have a lot of pets that I need to clean out etc and a house to keep clean. So I believe I do exercise, yes I don't eat that healthilly but I have lost weight before and I know what it takes.

Don't apologise for calling me a liar, its all good.

It's a simple equation if you put more calories into your body than you burn off you will put on weight...

big boned, slow metabolism and every other excuse is bullshit.

[angelicangel]

It's a simple equation if you put more calories into your body than you burn off you will put on weight...

big boned, slow metabolism and every other excuse is bullshit.
Why should people ridicule peoples weight and size. We are all human beings and should live life to the full, weither we are big or small. We have all the rights in the world to live as we want too. We don't need thin under nuiriashed stick beans to tell people how to live. How would you like someone to tell you that you don't walk talk or s..t properly, wouldn't you feel bitter towards everyone. Big people tend to be full of fun, the life and soul of any party, I know that for myself. Give over let people enjoy what life we have.:p

[cruise4]

But we get to possibly the problem in the end...

"I don't eat that healthily"

So its not an illness.

If you are happy fine.

I don't believe there's anything unkind I've said on this thread. If you have taken it that way, please don't. Nor have I said you are a liar. But its easy to give the self, comforting words, at the expense of the truth.

I'm one of those 'never put on weight' types :D

[athenagoddess]

Why can't people just get on with their own lives and keep their noses out of other peoples business. It is a problem that people have to cope with being fat. Fat people like anyone else can be really nice lovely people I should know. Just get to know them as anyone else, you will soon love and respect them like you should anyone.

[adimon]

Not all fat people eat too much!

Maybe not, but it's important to eat the right things in the right quantities. It's actually very easy. No need to count calories if you do it right. Exercise is crucial.

But the blame may not always reside with the eater.

I have empowered many people over the years to take control of their lives and get fit and healthy. Help is available, and I will help anyone free of charge. But the responsibility has to lie with the individual.

I am fat, the only way I can loose wieght is by cutting down to about 700 calories a day

Conversely, if you don't eat enough your metabolism will slow down and you will put on weight. A big breakfast and lots of water throughout the day are the best things that nearly everyone can change in their lives very easily and make a huge difference. East as much as you can before 10am. You will burn it off I guarantee.

I forgot to mention I would have to walk about 10 miles a day, I walk 3/4 miles a day now with my dogs

I can run 3/4 a mile in 4min. That is almost nothing. Take your dogs for longer walks and runs - it will benefit them too.

Why should people ridicule peoples weight and size. We are all human beings and should live life to the full, weither we are big or small. We have all the rights in the world to live as we want too. We don't need thin under nuiriashed stick beans to tell people how to live. How would you like someone to tell you that you don't walk talk or s..t properly, wouldn't you feel bitter towards everyone. Big people tend to be full of fun, the life and soul of any party, I know that for myself. Give over let people enjoy what life we have.:p

Maybe because some people want to help others live more healthily. Ridicule is wrong, but tactful encouragement is essential if we as a species are to survive. You think hunter-gatherers had the luxury of overeating or not doing any exercise? The lazy will die sooner. End of.

But we get to possibly the problem in the end...

So its not an illness.

Of course not. It's all in the mind. Laziness, apathy, and comfort.

I'm one of those 'never put on weight' types :D

Eat lots of red meat and fruit and do some anaerobic exercise. You will put on weight, believe me.

N.B. For those who want some tips on fitness and health, or who wish to contribute tips of their own, please visit the below thread.

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=12510

[ravenswing]

I have an underactive thyroid gland, it is an illness, I wish just by exercise and eating a big breakfast and lots of water I could lose weight but it does not work like that. Oh and I meant 3 to 4 miles a day not 3/4 of a mile, sorry for the confusion, my dogs would not be impressed with that!

Sorry...don't believe a word of it. Well I suppose its a polite way of calling me a liar :)

I know why I am the weight I am, and yes I am fine with it but I am NOT making up the ways I have to employ to lose weight, I battled with it for over 15 years before deciding to be happy with the me I am. I do not want kind words but a little respect for people who are not so confident with their weight, I don't think thats a hard thing to do? After all we are oneness, just having an experience, next time round maybe it will be your turn to be over weight :p

[adimon]

My friend has hyperthyroidism and takes medication which helps normalise him - is the opposite thing not available for you?

[ravenswing]

Yes it is, I have to take it every day, unfortunately although it helps not put any more weight on I would still have to go through the regime posted earlier to lose it. Before I received the medication, it was impossible to lose weight no matter how I tried, and was too ill to exerise too much anyway.

[adimon]

If you want I can help you develop a regime to build up towards 10miles a day.

Some people run 50 miles a day.

I could probably do 20 a day if I wanted.

I haven't always been able to.

Perceive these 5 sentences any way you wish.

[ravenswing]

I perceive them as a fine offer to help, thanks. However, I am not worried about my weight, and I can work up to the 10 miles if I wanted to, I used to do it. But many thanks for the offer, it is appreciated :)

I hope you have not taken my remarks here as a whinge, I just feel that we should be a bit more open with other peoples differences, and some people can make judgements that are incorrect and can be hurtful.

[adimon]

Agreed. But it's not a question of appearances, it's a question of health.

Is a healthier community not something worth striving for?

If you're my postman, don't I benefit from you being more sprightly?

[armoured_amazon]

Such a sad sight to see at such a young age!

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u39/dazp5/bigmac.jpg

Child abuse.

[ravenswing]

Agreed. But it's not a question of appearances, it's a question of health.

Is a healthier community not something worth striving for?

If you're my postman, don't I benefit from you being more sprightly?

Being fat does not stop you from being healthy, I have not had a cold for more than 5 years.

I would not be your postman, but if I took on that job why would I not be able to do it as efficiently as a thin person.

Fat people can be fat and fit, I can walk further than some of my "thin, agile friends" and out-work them. There is a difference between can't and don't want to :)

[adimon]

Being fat does not stop you from being healthy, I have not had a cold for more than 5 years.

I'm glad your immune system is working well, but there is far more to health than that...you should know that.

I would not be your postman, but if I took on that job why would I not be able to do it as efficiently as a thin person.

Bad example on my part, but I was referring to stamina.

There is a difference between can't and don't want to :)

Very true.

[cruise4]

"I would not be your postman, but if I took on that job why would I not be able to do it as efficiently as a thin person."

Because you couldn't fit through the effin gate :D

[ravenswing]

"I would not be your postman, but if I took on that job why would I not be able to do it as efficiently as a thin person."

Because you couldn't fit through the effin gate :D


There's no f in gate :p

[cruise4]

Hehe... I'm only messin' :D

I've had the piss ripped for being thin !