coolfighter
28-11-2007, 05:17 PM
$260,000 - Second In Command of My Evil Empire and/or Personal Assistant.
I am the head of a terror organization located inside of a mountain bent on complete and utter world domination. My minions refer to me as "The Overlord", and I require a second in command (female) to oversee my empire while I am unable to myself.
I'm also am looking to hire a personal assistant whom, amongst other things, will be a bodyguard/chauffeur (also female). Must be proficient in various forms of martial arts. Drivers license not required (after all, we are Evil).
You are required to be loyal and respectful to me, but never servile. I am your master. After I rule the planet, you will be offered a small, third world country to rule. My gift to you.
You are required to be evil and/or ruthless. Being tyrannical is not frowned upon. Multi-tasking is also very important. If you are not able to drive, text message a friend, and cook an exquisite Mexican gourmet meal, all-the-while recording a rerun of "Xena: Warrior Princess", then don't even bother replying to this ad at all because you would just be wasting your time, as well as mine.
Your smell must be reminiscent to a tropical rain forest or, at the very least, peaches.
Being fluent in Chinese is also a plus. China will be the 4th country that I will topple and I can't control it's lands without speaking it's native language.
If my Second in Command devises a morally "Good" way of controlling the planets governments and resources, then that person will suffer for his/her insolence, as these strategies are insulting to the ideals of an evil empire (also, I am morally bankrupt, so this would just seem Hippocratic in nature). For shame.
Contact me anytime Mondays through Wednesdays. Job interviews will be scheduled accordingly. Please bring in your Resume, a rusted pipe, and a grilled cheese sandwich. Ladies, be advised that lack of clothing is a plus.
Hours: Full-Time
This job is salaried.
I am the head of a terror organization located inside of a mountain bent on complete and utter world domination. My minions refer to me as "The Overlord", and I require a second in command (female) to oversee my empire while I am unable to myself.
I'm also am looking to hire a personal assistant whom, amongst other things, will be a bodyguard/chauffeur (also female). Must be proficient in various forms of martial arts. Drivers license not required (after all, we are Evil).
You are required to be loyal and respectful to me, but never servile. I am your master. After I rule the planet, you will be offered a small, third world country to rule. My gift to you.
You are required to be evil and/or ruthless. Being tyrannical is not frowned upon. Multi-tasking is also very important. If you are not able to drive, text message a friend, and cook an exquisite Mexican gourmet meal, all-the-while recording a rerun of "Xena: Warrior Princess", then don't even bother replying to this ad at all because you would just be wasting your time, as well as mine.
Your smell must be reminiscent to a tropical rain forest or, at the very least, peaches.
Being fluent in Chinese is also a plus. China will be the 4th country that I will topple and I can't control it's lands without speaking it's native language.
If my Second in Command devises a morally "Good" way of controlling the planets governments and resources, then that person will suffer for his/her insolence, as these strategies are insulting to the ideals of an evil empire (also, I am morally bankrupt, so this would just seem Hippocratic in nature). For shame.
Contact me anytime Mondays through Wednesdays. Job interviews will be scheduled accordingly. Please bring in your Resume, a rusted pipe, and a grilled cheese sandwich. Ladies, be advised that lack of clothing is a plus.
Hours: Full-Time
This job is salaried.