PDA

View Full Version : Handbook for Life: 52 Tips for Happiness


synergy777
17-11-2007, 06:17 PM
Handbook for Life: 52 Tips for Happiness and Productivity

By: Leo Babauta

How to use this handbook
This handbook is not meant to be a step-by-step guide, nor should you adopt all the tips below. Certainly not all at once. That would be overwhelming. Here are a couple tips for adopting the tips:

Pick and choose the tips that will be most useful to you. There are 52 tips here — not every single one will be useful to every person. I hope you’ll find 10 that are useful, or that are reminders of something you’ve been wanting to do.

Don’t do them all at once. Choose one tip to do first, and then do them one at a time. Focus on one first, and then the next. It’s too hard to try to adopt a bunch of changes at once.

Experiment. Try out a tip, and if it doesn’t work, try another. Life is an experiment, after all.

None are guaranteed. But many are very likely to bring happiness.
Also, these are not in any order. Some of the most important are buried below.


======================


Tips for Happiness and Productivity
(don't think there is 52...but it's close)



TRY RISING EARLIER.
It’s not for everyone, I’ll admit. It may not be for you. But I’ve found it to be an amazing change in my life. It has made the start of my days much more positive, and I now have time for writing, exercise, and silent contemplation.

DO LESS.
This is both a happiness and productivity tip. Doing less will make you happier, because your life won’t be so hectic and filled with stress. You will have time for things that give you pleasure, for the loved ones in your life, for life itself. It’s also a productivity tip: if you focus on the essential tasks, the big ones, the ones that will give you the most return for your time, and eliminate the rest, you will actually be more productive. You’ll get fewer tasks done, but you will be more effective.

SLOW DOWN.
Many new readers to this site have read my productivity articles and think that I’m all about being hyper-productive. I’m not. Long-time readers know that I am about a simpler way of life. Unfortunately, in my free-lance blogging, other websites usually ask me to write about productivity, so the preponderance of my productivity writing has given the impression, I think, that I think people should be churning out work at an amazing rate, to the exclusion of all else. Actually, I feel that life is much more enjoyable if you slow down. By doing less, you can actually get more done, even if you work more slowly. And when you’re not working, you should definitely try switching to slow mode. Drive slower (it is so much more relaxing), walk slower, eat slower. Enjoy each moment.

PRACTICE PATIENCE.
I’ve talked about how I’m trying to develop patience in my parenting article, How to Become a Patient Parent, but these tips really apply to everyone. If you easily lose your temper, you can become more patient with these tips. Once you’ve developed this skill (and it’s a skill, like everything else, not an unchangeable inborn trait), your life will become much saner and you will be much happier.

PRACTICE COMPASSION.
This may be the most important tip of all, in my opinion. If you were to choose any of these, I would choose this one. The first part of compassion is empathy — and this ability to understand how others feel can be developed through practice. Start by imagining the suffering of a loved one. Understand their pain, the emotions they go through, and why they would react the way they would. By doing this exercise a number of times, you are developing a skill that can be applied to others — for every person you see, try to understand what they are going through. Try to learn and understand more about their background, and why they react the way they do. Once you’ve developed this invaluable skill, learn the other half of compassion — acting on your understanding, and helping others, alleviating their suffering, acting with kindness. This one thing can bring true happiness to your life, and the lives of those around you.

FIND YOUR PASSION.
Another indispensable tip. This might be the second on my list of priorities. Find something you love to do, and your life will become immensely improved. You will love your work, the thing that you spend 40 hours (or more) a week doing. You will become more productive, procrastinate less, be less stressed. You will produce something you are proud of, and happy about.

LOSE WEIGHT.
This only applies, of course, if you are overweight. But losing your extra fat (and when I say lose weight, I mean lose fat), decreases your health risks (obviously), makes you look better, and in general is very likely to increase your happiness about yourself. I actually recommend that you learn to be comfortable and happy with how you look now, and not feel negative about yourself even if you are overweight. However, I’ve found that losing weight (at least for me) is a great way to feel better about your body.
Do not make this an unhealthy obsession, however — lose weight gradually, and enjoy the process.

EXERCISE DAILY.
Make this a daily habit. Exercise not only helps you lose weight, but for me, it’s made me feel so much better. I actually enjoy exercise now. It’s a time of contemplation for me, and I feel so much better about myself afterwards. Just keep moving - talk a walk and build up to the jog.

EAT HEALTHIER.
I don’t recommend dieting. It’s too restrictive and you usually fall off it at some point. I do recommend changes to your diet, however — ones you make gradually, and that can be sustained for life. It not only helps lose weight, but really, once you start eating healthier, it is actually much more enjoyable.

MEDITATE.
OK, you might be like me — not into New-Age stuff. But meditation can actually be a very simple method for relaxing, for bringing calm, for returning yourself to sanity, for contemplation. Take some time for yourself, by yourself even if for 10 minutes.

GET ORGANIZED.
This one’s not necessary. You could go through life wonderfully messy, searching for stuff, enjoying the search. But I’ve tried disorganized, and I’ve tried organized. The second is much more enjoyable to me.

THINK POSITIVE THOUGHTS.
Another one of the most important tips on this list, thinking positive — as cliche as it might sound — is one of the single best changes you can make in your life that will lead to so many more positive tips. As I wrote about here, learning to think positive was the skill that turned my life around. It makes everything else on this list possible.

SIMPLIFY YOUR FINANCES.
Cut down on the number of accounts you have, cut down on your credit cards, spend less, reduce your bills. Make your finances automagical. Simplifying your finances greatly reduces your stress.

SIMPLIFY YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.
Another of my top tips. I’ve greatly simplified my life, in many ways, and I can say that having less stuff in my life, and less to do, has greatly increased my enjoyment of life. De-clutter, simplify your commitments, simplify your work space, simplify your wardrobe, simplify your rooms.

ACCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE AND MAKE THE BEST OF IT.
The problem with many of us is that we always think that we’ll be happy when we reach a certain destination — when we get a certain job, or retire, or get our dream house. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there, you might have a new destination in mind. Instead, try being happy with where you are, with who you are, and what you have. To do that, instead of comparing what you have with other people, or with what you want, compare yourself those who have less, with those who are going through tragedy, with those who are struggling. You will see that you actually are extremely blessed. And this can lead to more happiness with your current situation. Enjoy today and it's blessings.


ENVISION YOUR ULTIMATE LIFE.
What would your ultimate life be like? Where would you live, what would you do, what would you do with your days? Come up with a clear picture of this, and write it down. Now, one step at a time, make it come true. Some ways of doing that follow.

SET LONGTERM GOALS.
Your vision of your ultimate life will help you come up with long-term goals. Of those goals, pick one to accomplish within the next year, and really focus on that. Now, pick one medium-term goal to achieve in the next few months that will get you further toward your longer-term goal. Now decide what you can do this week, and today, to get you to your medium-term goal. Just choose one thing at a time, focus on it, make it happen, and then choose the next thing to focus on.

REVIEW YOUR GOALS DAILY.
Setting goals is important, but the key to making them a reality is actually reviewing them (at least monthly, but weekly is better) and taking action steps to make them come true. Again, focus on one at a time, and really focus on them.

LIFE MISSION.
Related to envisioning your ultimate life, but different — it’s important that you think about how you would like to be remembered when you die — so you can start living the life that leads to that now. Live with purpose in life, and wake up every day with that purpose in mind.

PLAN YOUR DAY: BIG AND SMALL TASKS.
Give purpose to your day by determining the three most important things you can do with your day, and making those a priority. Do the same thing with your week to increase your productivity: pick out the big tasks you’d like to accomplish this week, and schedule those first.

MAINTAIN FOCUS.
One important key to achieving your goals is to maintain focus on them. To do this, again, it’s important that you select one goal at a time. This will prevent your focus from spreading too thin. It’s also important that you give yourself constant reminders of your goal, so you don’t lose that focus. Put up a poster of your current goal, or print it out and put it out somewhere visible, and send yourself emailed reminders. However you do it, find a way to maintain a laser-sharp focus, and the goal will come true.

ENJOY THE JOURNEY.
Goals are important, but not at the expense of happiness now. It’s important to maintain a balance between going where you want to go, and being happy as you go there. It’s easy to forget that, so be sure to remind yourself of this little, but important, tip as you make your journey.

CREATE ROUTINES: MORNING AND EVENING.
These are two great ways to add structure to your day, make sure you review your goals and log your progress, and get your day off to a great start. An evening routine, for example, could be a great way not only to wind down from a long day and review how your day went, but to prepare yourself for your next day so the morning isn’t so hectic. Your morning routine is great way to greet the day, to get some exercise or meditation or quiet contemplation, or to get some writing or other work done.

DEVELOP INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS.
It’s great to have a special someone, of course, but intimate relationships could be found with anyone around you. If you have a significant other, be sure to spend time each day and each week with that person, to work on your relationship and communicate and continue to bond. But if you don’t, there’s no need to despair (if in fact you are) … intimate relationships can be developed with friends, other family members, kids, roommates, classmate, co-workers. Every single person we meet is a fellow human being, with the same desires for happiness, for food and shelter, for an intimate connection. Find that common thread, be open and sincere, find out more about each other, understand each other, and give love. This can be one of the most important things you do.

ELIMINATE DEBT ONE DAY AT A TIME.
Financially, this is a huge way to relieve stress and make you feel much more secure. I suggest that you get rid of your credit cards especially if you have a problem with credit card debt or impulse spending (maybe keep 1 or 2 for emergencies or pay off in full each month) and create a snowball plan for yourself. It may take a couple of years, but you can get out of debt.

ENJOY SIMPLE PLEASURES.
You can find these everywhere. Food (I love berries!), sunsets, sand between your toes, fresh-cut grass, playing with your child, a good book and a warm bed, dancing in the rain, your favorite music. You could probably make a list of 20 simple pleasures right now, things you enjoy that you could find every day. Sprinkle those little pleasures throughout your day. It makes the journey much more enjoyable.

EMPTY YOUR INBOX AND CLEAR OUT YOUR DESK.
This might take a little while to do at first, but once you’ve emptied your inbox and cleared off your desk, it doesn’t take long to keep them clear from then on. It’s a simple habit that’s vastly rewarding. I get an inordinate amount of pleasure from having a clean desk. I recommend you give it a try.

BUILD UP AN EMERGENCY FUND.
This is standard-issue financial advice, I know … and yet it is extremely important. I cannot stress how important it is to have at least a tiny emergency fund in the bank. You often hear that you should have six months saved up. Don’t be intimidated by that. Start out with just a hundred dollars if you can. Cut back on a few things. Then build it up, every payday. Once you have, let’s say, $1,000, it will make a huge difference in your life. It’s not much, and you should still add to it every paycheck, but at least now you’re not living paycheck-to-paycheck, and if an unexpected emergency comes up you can pay for it, rather than not paying other bills and falling behind. It’s a simple step, but it will mean a lot.

KEEP A JOURNAL.
This is not one of the more important tips, but I can attest that it’s rewarding. I, for one, have a bad long-term memory, and by writing things down, I can look back and remember what happened a month ago. I just started this a couple months ago, actually, but ti’s been awesome. I started an online journal, something I call the one-sentence journal, and my goal is to just write one sentence a day. Sometimes I write two or three, but the idea is the same — just get one or two things down that happened that day, so I can always look back on it later.

USE THE POWER OF OTHERS.
Achieving your goals can be difficult, but using the power of others makes it much more likely to happen. For example, put positive public pressure on yourself by announcing your goal on your blog. Or join an online forum, or a group in your neighborhood, that you can count on for support.

READ AND READ TO YOUR KIDS TOO.
I read all the time — it’s one of my favorite things to do in the world. I love to curl up with a good novel and I can waste away an afternoon with a book. And I’m passing on my love of reading to my kids, by reading to them every day. I love spending time with them this way, and we all enjoy the stories we share together through books.

LIMIT YOUR INFORMATION INTAKE.
In our lives today, we get a tremendous amount of information through email, blog feeds, reading websites, paperwork, memos, newspapers, magazines, television, DVDs, radio, mobile phones and Blackberries. Not only can this be overwhelming, but it can be distracting and can fill up your life until you have no time for more important things. Go on a media fast to get control over your information intake, and to simplify your life

CREATE SIMPLE SYSTEMS.
Once you’ve simplified your life, the way to keep it simple is by creating systems for everything you do regularly. Create an efficient system for laundry, mail and paperwork, errands, your workflow. Anything, really.

TAKE TIME TO DECOMPRESS AFTER STRESS.
There will inevitably be times in your life when you go through high stress. Perhaps several times a week. To maintain your sanity, you need to find ways to decompress. Here are some great ways to do that.

BE PRESENT.
Time can go by extremely quickly. Before you know it, your life has passed you by. Your kids are grown and your youth is gone. Don’t let your life slip by — enjoy it while it’s here. Instead of dwelling in the past or thinking about the future, practice being in the here and now.

DEVELOP EQUIANIMITY.
Keep your sanity through all the challenges that life throws at you. Rude drivers, irritating co-workers, mean commenters on your blog, inconsiderate family members. This takes a bit of practice, but you can let these things slide off you like you’re Teflon.

SPEND TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
One of the things that can lead to the greatest happiness, make this a priority every week, every day. Clear off as much time as possible to spend with those you love, and truly enjoy those times. Be present as you do it — don’t think about work or your blog or what you need to do.

PICK YOURSELF UP WHEN YOU ARE DOWN.
There will always be times in our lives when we get a little down, even depressed. Take action to get yourself out of your slump. Get out of bed, off the couch - out of your home - into the world.

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS.
This is hard to do, but it can be a great way to accept who you are and what you have. Whenever you find yourself comparing yourself to a co-worker, a friend, or someone famous (those models on magazines with amazing abs), stop. And realize that you are different, with different strengths. Take a minute to appreciate all the good things about yourself, and to be grateful for all the blessings in your life.

FOCUS ON YOUR BENEFITS.
If you find yourself struggling to do something, or procrastinating, stop thinking about how hard something is, or why you don’t want to do it. Focus instead on what benefits it will have for you, what opportunities it will create — the good things about it. By changing the way you see things, you can change how you feel about them and make it easier to get things done.

BE ROMANTIC.
If you have that special someone, find little ways to be romantic. It can do wonders to keep your relationship alive and fresh. It doesn’t take tons of money, either.

LOSE ARGUMENTS.
I know someone who just celebrated his 50th anniversary, and I asked him for his secret to a long and happy marriage. He told me, that if I ever get into an argument with my wife, to just shut up. What he meant, I think, is that I shouldn’t try to be right in every argument. I think this is a reminder many of us need, not just the married ones. But instead of just giving up the argument, instead of trying to be right, instead seek to understand. Really try to understand the other person’s position, to see it from their point of view. This little tip can lead to much happiness.

GET INTO THE FLOW.
This is both a happiness and productivity tip. Flow is the term for the state we enter when we are completely focused on the work or task before us. We are so immersed in our task that we lose track of time.
Having work and leisure that gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness. People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. Get into that flow by first doing something you are passionate about, and second by eliminating all distractions and really focusing on the task before you.

SINGLE-TASK.
I don’t believe in multi-tasking, at least not on a day-to-day basis. Instead, focus on one task at a time. This leads to greater productivity and less stress. You can’t go wrong with that kind of combination.

TRY TO BE FRUGAL.
This is a habit, rather than a goal. It is a way of living, a different mindset, and the best way to live within your means. It doesn’t mean being cheap or forsaking pleasure, but it does mean finding less expensive ways to do things, learning to live with less (and be happier in the process), and controlling impulse spending.

START SMALL AND SLOW.
I advocate starting slow with any goal or habit change, and starting with a small goal rather than a big one. Why small? Because it’s something you are sure to achieve — and once you do achieve it, you can use that success to push you to further success. It’s a simple technique, but it really works. Start slow when you start exercise, or other similar activities — there’s no need to rush it in the beginning, to overdo it. You have the rest of your life!

LEARN TO DEAL WITH DETRACTORS.
We all face detractors in our lives. They are the naysayers who, even if they are well-intentioned, will make us feel unworthy, or that you cannot achieve a goal. They will tease or be negative. In order to achieve your goals, you need to learn how to deal with these detractors and overcome this common obstacle. You can do it - any goal you set your sights on. Don't let negative naysayers keep you down.

GO OUTDOORS.
These days, too many of us spend so much of our time indoors, especially if our jobs and our ways of having fun are all online. Our kids are often just as bad or worse, with so many ways to watch TV, surf the internet or play video games. Get them and yourself outdoors, appreciate nature, the beauty of the world around us, and the fun of physical activity.

RETIRE EARLY.
This isn’t a sure way to become happy — you can retire and be bored out of your mind and unhappy — but it’s surely a cool goal. And if you do something meaningful with your life, such as volunteer and help others, it can be a way to be really happy. It’s not an easy goal, either, but you can retire early by cutting back on your living expenses, increasing your income, and investing the difference. The more you can do of all three, the fast you’ll retire. And that’s a truly liberating idea.

SAVOR ALL THE LITTLE THINGS.
Sure, the big things can bring big pleasure, but there are so many more little things in our lives. Savor them when they come up. It’s a way of practicing being present — stop and notice what you’re doing right now, what’s around you. And take time to enjoy it.

BE LAZY ON OCCASION.
There’s a time to be productive, and there’s a time to be plain ol’ lazy. I like the latter, and do it every chance I get. Does that make me a lazy person? Probably not, but even if it does, I don’t care. It makes me happy!

HELP OTHERS.
While finding pleasure in life is one way to be happy, doing something that is more than you, that helps others to be happy or to suffer less, is even more rewarding. I suggest you find a good cause or two and volunteer some of your time. You don’t have to commit to big chunks of your life, but just volunteer for a couple of hours. All of us can find a couple of hours in a week or a month. If you do this, you will find out how tremendously happy this will make you. You might even become addicted.

myspace message from Delly Doolittle (Go Vegan!)

lemonique
17-11-2007, 06:43 PM
Nice post Synergy! We all need a reminder of these things at times :D

Lemonique

remorse
18-11-2007, 02:40 PM
Fantastic! all good advice, just work at on at a time if you have trouble

lenejento
18-11-2007, 02:46 PM
Well that's alot to remember :rolleyes: Anyway, good tips I guess

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 02:59 PM
Handbook for Life: 52 Tips for Happiness and Productivity

By: Leo Babauta

START SMALL AND SLOW.
I advocate starting slow with any goal or habit change, and starting with a small goal rather than a big one. Why small? Because it’s something you are sure to achieve — and once you do achieve it, you can use that success to push you to further success. It’s a simple technique, but it really works. Start slow when you start exercise, or other similar activities — there’s no need to rush it in the beginning, to overdo it. You have the rest of your life!


That was a nice tip. I would like to use it taking one step back, i.e. to use that technique on the thinking process itself! To learn how to start thoughts small and slow. :cool:

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 03:17 PM
To learn how to start thoughts small and slow. :cool:

Wow. It works. One can also use the technique to turn the 'volume' down so to speak. Just listen to your own thoughts and recognize how LOUD they are all the time, and how STRESSED. Then with choice it is possible to turn their volume down and also to slow them down. It's like operating a machine, like driving a car or something. :)

synergy777
18-11-2007, 03:50 PM
i envison it to climbing a mountain, you have to just concentrate on each step, soon enough you will reach the top. i would love to climb kilamanjaro, as it easier than other ones and in warm kenya, lol i think its stubborness, being solitude, why it appeals, its also a battle against yourself/doubts etc.

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 03:57 PM
i envison it to climbing a mountain, you have to just concentrate on each step, soon enough you will reach the top. i would love to climb kilamanjaro, as it easier than other ones and in warm kenya, lol i think its stubborness, being solitude, why it appeals, its also a battle against yourself/doubts etc.

Yet one problem with all these tips is that they don't address the thinking process itself. If you examine it, a mental goal for example, even if small steps are taken to reach it, the mental goal itself is a very LOUD thought. One has as David Icke has said, to take a step back and look at the whole picture.

As I see it, the mindset of the author of all these tips is still trapped in a very loud mind.

We must learn how to regulate the thought process itself.

synergy777
18-11-2007, 04:09 PM
We must learn how to regulate the thought process itself.

what methods do you suggest bro, any links/tips.

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 04:31 PM
what methods do you suggest bro, any links/tips.

I got the idea from Leo Babauta's tip: start small and slow. First I though that it was a good idea, then I discovered that even better was to use that idea on the thoughts themselves.

When I observe my own thoughts, then I notice that they are quite loud. Especially worrisome thoughts. They can almost be like an attack on the mind.

The usual thought stream is like loud hard techno music going on all the time in the mind, and usually at a stressed pace too. That's not a problem when the thoughts are positive, but the majority of these loud and stressful thoughts are negative, having to do with an endless repetition of personal problems.

The first step is to recognize one's own thoughts, and the next step is to calm them down, make them smaller and slower.

I need to test it out more to see if this is something that can be done even in stressful situations, and see if there is some kind of special technique one can use.

synergy777
18-11-2007, 04:37 PM
to find calmness, clarity and then confidence

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 04:46 PM
to find calmness, clarity and then confidence

And to get control over the thoughts themselves. I imagine it should be possible to at will turn down and also turn up the volume and the speed of one's own thought stream. It would be interesting to find out if there are some articles or books about this.

synergy777
18-11-2007, 05:09 PM
as small changes could reap huge benefits. it would be cool to upgrade thinking techniques, constant improvement. i'm an hfa/aspie, like good will hunting, so i have had weird thought process from birth. i was years ahead at school in art and science, i was gcse level in the first year of senoir school, i was lucky that my science teacher took me under his wing, i owe a lot to him, he saw potential in me. i was always rubbish at english, lol as suffering from hyperlxia causes me problems, as my rubbish spelling shows.

at uni it was cool, i got coaching etc and leeway in attendances, which i fully took advantage of, lol

now its different they have advanced classes, more info in helping people like me, back then i was on my own. its also genetic, so my kids will be whizz kids. also aspies make the best hackers, a lot of well known people in history have been aspies/hfa.


Kim Peek - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

John Forbes Nash, Jr. - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

http://aspiesinc.blogspot.com/2006/10/famous-aspies.html

Famous Aspies

How do I know who the famous Aspies (or autistics) are? I found it on the Internet so it must be true. O.K. I've pulled some interesting names from a number of lists. Each name is a hyper link to a web page where that name, and others, is listed.

Michelangelo
Vincent van Gogh
Albert Einstein
Bill Gates

Makes you wonder about it is an "abnormality" or "disorder" or "disability". The list above is just a sampling of numerous famous eccentrics that had a major impact on the societies around them.

I believe that all individuals who want to make a contribution to the world around them can, and should be allowed to their fullest extent. Who knows, maybe the next van Gogh could be sitting in a special needs classroom waiting to be pointed in the right direction.

i always saw it as disability first, i couldn spell, punctuate etc, still bloody can't, lol.

Anders Lindman
18-11-2007, 05:25 PM
It's scary how what society is considering normal is people who more or less totally are a result of education and media. Uni-formity and con-formity mechanically stamped into us since birth and throughout our lives.

And the slightest deviation from the uniform norm, for example in school today, and the child will be put on drugs. Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit here, but the fact of the matter is that the school system is suspiciously mechanical and inefficient. Years and years the children have to sit at their desks to learn something they would probably be able to learn by playing a video game giving the same information in a much faster and efficient way.

synergy777
18-11-2007, 05:29 PM
school system needs overhauling, just as society develops, knowledge increases, so should the methods/tools/environment of education change, in order to fully utilise the advancements.

i think we should have more creative/critical thinking, questioning/contemplating, rather than memorising data to regurgiate it later on exam papers.

the greeks had a very good way.