View Full Version : Male Comebacks To Female Comebacks To Male Pick U
Man: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you an ugly
slut.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of
my car, I don't give a s**t where you go.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ar*e.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of bird that is
impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.
Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look a twat in those pants
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad
watches.
Man: You're pretty
Woman: p**s off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you mingin b*tch.
lydia78
31-10-2007, 12:52 PM
Man: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?
Woman: Yes that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you an ugly
slut.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of
my car, I don't give a s**t where you go.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: That explains the moustache then!
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilised.
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ar*e.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, cause you seem like the kind of bird that is
impossible to shake off once you've been shagged.
Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you mis-heard me. I said you look a twat in those pantsMan:
Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well cos I've been shagging your mum while your dad
watches.
Man: You're pretty
Woman: p**s off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty... ugly, you mingin b*tch.
PMSL...specially the 'twat in those pants one' and 'unfertilised'..:D
least someone has a sense of humour like me lol
wanna read my lyrics for "i will survive" ?
adimon
31-10-2007, 01:26 PM
least someone has a sense of humour like me lol
wanna read my lyrics for "i will survive" ?
DEFINITELY! ;)
strider
31-10-2007, 01:28 PM
Fucking funny :D
strider
31-10-2007, 01:37 PM
Another one for the party..
Him: Alright love, fancy a fuck?
Her: No I do not, now f**k off...
Him: Well, would you mind lying down while I have one?
castle
31-10-2007, 02:06 PM
Man: Did you hurt yourself?
Woman: When?
Man when you fell down from heaven.
Woman: Not as much as you did when you fell down from notre dame cathedral.
lizzy
31-10-2007, 02:44 PM
Man: Did you hurt yourself?
Woman: When?
Man when you fell down from heaven.
Woman: Not as much as you did when you fell down from notre dame cathedral.
This thread is sooooo pathetic.
lydia78
31-10-2007, 03:04 PM
least someone has a sense of humour like me lol
wanna read my lyrics for "i will survive" ?
LOL...most def :D
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus) I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go, Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.
Go on now go, Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.
(Chorus) Go on now go, Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance, Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!
adimon
31-10-2007, 03:14 PM
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.
Hilarious :D :D :D :D :D
Nice one girl! ;)
thanking you so much kind sir
lydia78
31-10-2007, 03:18 PM
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus) I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go, Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.
Go on now go, Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.
(Chorus) Go on now go, Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance, Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!
ROFL...very creative lyrics there nuit!!:D
Now tell me, what was the inspiration behind it? LOL ;)
lizzy
31-10-2007, 03:32 PM
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus) I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go, Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.
Go on now go, Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.
(Chorus) Go on now go, Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance, Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!
WOW......How SAD....... enlightened interpersonal relationships have no place in these lyrics.
The Elite love this, you have won their rat lab test.
To find these sentiments here is sooooo upsetting.
One of the many fronts they divide and rule us with is the division of the sexes. You are in the Elites' winners circle and they still hate you.
(Adimon will like the song. He likes women who are 'independant', LOL.)
WOW......How SAD....... enlightened interpersonal relationships have no place in these lyrics.
The Elite love this, you have won their rat lab test.
To find these sentiments here is sooooo upsetting.
One of the many fronts they divide and rule us with is the division of the sexes. You are in the Elites' winners circle and they hate you.
(Adimon will like the song. He likes women who are 'independand', LOL.)
it is called having a laugh, by the way no shade of green is nice when worn outwardly
thirdwave
31-10-2007, 04:01 PM
WOW......How SAD....... enlightened interpersonal relationships have no place in these lyrics.
The Elite love this, you have won their rat lab test.
To find these sentiments here is sooooo upsetting.
One of the many fronts they divide and rule us with is the division of the sexes. You are in the Elites' winners circle and they still hate you.
(Adimon will like the song. He likes women who are 'independant', LOL.)
not everyone humour is the same i guess, but lets not hijack the thread, you can create a thread more suited to your humour if you like....
lydia78
31-10-2007, 05:06 PM
As Thirdwave said, we all vary in our humour
part of the biggest challenge for us humans out of all of this
is to be able to laugh, yes even at ourselves...after all didn't David Icke himself say that the 'voice' he encountered had one hell of a sense of humour?
This is my experience too..
the above lyrics are only offensive if you allow them to be...so don't allow them ;):)
lizzy
31-10-2007, 06:53 PM
ROFL...very creative lyrics there nuit!!:D
Now tell me, what was the inspiration behind it? LOL ;)
Ok, guys , if this is what really passes for humour now I guess I am just really old fashioned......and so glad to be so.
lizzy
31-10-2007, 06:57 PM
WOW......How SAD....... enlightened interpersonal relationships have no place in these lyrics.
The Elite love this, you have won their rat lab test.
To find these sentiments here is sooooo upsetting.
One of the many fronts they divide and rule us with is the division of the sexes. You are in the Elites' winners circle and they still hate you.
(Adimon will like the song. He likes women who are 'independant', LOL.)
Can someone TELL ME what the humour here is?
castle
31-10-2007, 07:25 PM
Can someone TELL ME what the humour here is?
You.
thirdwave
31-10-2007, 07:25 PM
man i think they have turned HAARP up to 10 this week....
come on this is meant to be a humour room....
lizzy
31-10-2007, 07:36 PM
man i think they have turned HAARP up to 10 this week....
come on this is meant to be a humour room....
Did'nt get that this was the humour room........it was not stated as such.
I don't come here for humour. I don't find the NWO funny or any of those put down lyrics.
lizzy
31-10-2007, 07:43 PM
yup, just checked.......i was in the 'have a laugh"......ok, will remember to watch for that in future........Enjoy,
love, lizzy
lilly555
31-10-2007, 07:59 PM
yeah i agree with lizzy. heheeehe not really though, lizzy you should check out the most childish poems thread. i think that you might like it:):D
lizzy
31-10-2007, 08:39 PM
yeah i agree with lizzy. heheeehe not really though, lizzy you should check out the most childish poems thread. i think that you might like it:):D
will do, LOL.......but not today, had enough childishness for oneday.
BOOOOOOO
adimon
31-10-2007, 09:06 PM
Adimon will like the song. He likes women who are 'independand', LOL.)
How do you know what type of women I like? Are you that stalker outside my apartment all the time? If you get cold, come on in for a cup of coffee :)
on the road
01-11-2007, 12:25 AM
tiny cocks lol
are you saying you like big cocks?
:o
adimon
01-11-2007, 12:59 AM
What a question!! :eek:
http://www.bernalpublishing.com/poultry/essays/images/13/game_cockerel.jpg http://www.lebowclothing.com/images/forstockymen.jpg
fifth amendment i do plead
father ted
01-11-2007, 11:40 AM
Can someone TELL ME what the humour here is?
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
indigo
01-11-2007, 12:46 PM
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpgOMFG:eek: is the other bloke holding his.:D
indigo
01-11-2007, 12:47 PM
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .
But there you are, Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t, Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.
Go on now go, Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus) I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,
Go on now go, Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation, Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.
Go on now go, Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers, Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.
(Chorus) Go on now go, Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance, Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!lol. I have heard that somewhere else, or similar.
OMFG:eek: is the other bloke holding his.:D
roflmao
purple is a fruit
01-11-2007, 10:54 PM
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
ever tried being a little more subtle Ted? LOL but geeeez that pic packed a punch, ten points to you LOL
http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/2527/bigcockyf6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
rossus
01-11-2007, 11:18 PM
Man: Did you hurt yourself?
Woman: When?
Man when you fell down from heaven.
Woman: Not as much as you did when you fell down from notre dame cathedral.
haha, can't help but love this one. :)
father ted
02-11-2007, 07:14 AM
ever tried being a little more subtle Ted?
What, and be like every other boring sod on this forum:D
LOL but geeeez that pic packed a punch, ten points to you LOL Right on girl!
I'm ahead by 10 points
mad as a cat
02-11-2007, 08:35 AM
Oh lord.....that's enough to make your eyes water.......especially before breakfast:eek:
father ted
02-11-2007, 09:15 AM
I wonder what his comeback to her comeback to a no doubpt retarded pick up line would be?
http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20070312/capt.gtmm12103122109.bush_latin_america_gtmm121.jp g
lenejento
02-11-2007, 04:37 PM
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
Thihihihihi Hehehehehe Hahahahaha..................... Ouch!!!! :eek:
purple is a fruit
02-11-2007, 08:37 PM
I wonder what his comeback to her comeback to a no doubpt retarded pick up line would be?
http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20070312/capt.gtmm12103122109.bush_latin_america_gtmm121.jp g
This is a great 'add a caption' photo;):D
adimon
02-11-2007, 08:44 PM
This is a great 'add a caption' photo;):D
Great idea.
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
"Man...what the f**k am I doing here? These shaman always throw these nudey parties without inviting any chicks!"
karma19
02-11-2007, 09:17 PM
I was always quite impressed with my boyfriends size until I saw this guy.lol
Anyone got his number?:D
father ted
03-11-2007, 11:13 AM
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
"Man, that guy's wrinkly old ass is hot!"
http://www.xenophilia.net/png/kaminabitmen.jpg
Thank fuck i havn't got a hard on !!!!!!
adimon
03-11-2007, 03:21 PM
Thank fuck i havn't got a hard on !!!!!!
ROFL :D :D :D
Classic!
father ted
03-11-2007, 11:00 PM
I'm still waiting for lizzy's response to me answering her question.
i do not think she will come in this thread as it is not really her thing for humour
father ted
04-11-2007, 01:58 AM
i do not think she will come in this thread as it is not really her thing for humour
:D
G'day nuit, you know what she needs don't ya? You know, to loosen her up a bit (pun maybe intended) and not take things too seriously.
adimon
04-11-2007, 02:13 AM
:D
G'day nuit, you know what she needs don't ya? You know, to loosen her up a bit (pun maybe intended) and not take things too seriously.
LMAO!!!! :D
Are you volunteering Father Ted?
lilly555
04-11-2007, 02:13 AM
:D
G'day nuit, you know what she needs don't ya? You know, to loosen her up a bit (pun maybe intended) and not take things too seriously.
hehe i agree :)
LMAO!!!! :D
Are you volunteering Father Ted?
HAHAHAHA or maybe our friend from the picture could do it (pun maybe intended):)
adimon
04-11-2007, 02:33 AM
HAHAHAHA or maybe our friend from the picture could do it (pun maybe intended):)
He's your friend? Do you like old men's wrinkly butts as well? :D
:D
G'day nuit, you know what she needs don't ya? You know, to loosen her up a bit (pun maybe intended) and not take things too seriously.
no, what is it you think she needs? i have no idea as to what you are meaning :rolleyes::D
father ted
04-11-2007, 05:05 AM
LMAO!!!! :D
Are you volunteering Father Ted?
If she's hot...has she put her pic up on the photo thread yet? Although our friend here might be able to give her a bigger supprise.
revolutionary_jam
04-11-2007, 06:11 PM
classy thread
lilly555
04-11-2007, 07:20 PM
oh yes of course we are all very classy people around here!:D
classy thread
i thought that also, always nice to see peoples appreciation of humour :rolleyes::p