disorder2k8
19-06-2010, 10:13 AM
I generally don't go on Facebook except to post my 'thought of the day'
Here are some that I've come up with.
Why do people have cars that go really fast in a country that forces you to go really slow.
95% of the time you talk to a stranger in the street you are complaining about something. The other 5% you are lost.
Although you like to pretend they do, your pets never really understand what you're saying.
If they keep adding blades to razors, pretty soon we'll have a razor wall we can just stand next to and shuffle up against. "Ah fuck.. sliced me nipples off again"
Stop using statistics in your arguments, you know 80% of the population are always wrong anyway.
Lying on forms is ok if it makes you look cool.
Old people sit on the bus next to you on purpose; so they can siphon off your lifeforce. Why do you think there are so many still alive?
Drinking tea with your baby finger raised doesn't automatically make you posh.
If you get a taser try it on a friend first, that way you'll at least know how it works.
Despite constant claims, nobody has ever been anally probed by aliens.
Using chopsticks as Vampire teeth was never funny.
The more you try to remember a dream the more you forget. Something about...peacocks.. or something.
Why is it that when I talk to a girl or ask her out, she looks at me as though I've just unzipped my jimmy and slapped her in the face with it.
Why does everybody always assume the worst? Why doesn't everyone assume the best for a change? Maybe that explains why we're a load of miserable gits.
Why are we compelled to keep envelopes that other people send us but then never reuse them because they are the wrong colour, like Canary yellow.
Why do people use the internet as a personal diary when those same people have never owned or used a real diary?
And if they did, they wouldnt let anyone look in it anyway!
Feel free to add your own that you have come up with or shamelessly stolen.
Here are some that I've come up with.
Why do people have cars that go really fast in a country that forces you to go really slow.
95% of the time you talk to a stranger in the street you are complaining about something. The other 5% you are lost.
Although you like to pretend they do, your pets never really understand what you're saying.
If they keep adding blades to razors, pretty soon we'll have a razor wall we can just stand next to and shuffle up against. "Ah fuck.. sliced me nipples off again"
Stop using statistics in your arguments, you know 80% of the population are always wrong anyway.
Lying on forms is ok if it makes you look cool.
Old people sit on the bus next to you on purpose; so they can siphon off your lifeforce. Why do you think there are so many still alive?
Drinking tea with your baby finger raised doesn't automatically make you posh.
If you get a taser try it on a friend first, that way you'll at least know how it works.
Despite constant claims, nobody has ever been anally probed by aliens.
Using chopsticks as Vampire teeth was never funny.
The more you try to remember a dream the more you forget. Something about...peacocks.. or something.
Why is it that when I talk to a girl or ask her out, she looks at me as though I've just unzipped my jimmy and slapped her in the face with it.
Why does everybody always assume the worst? Why doesn't everyone assume the best for a change? Maybe that explains why we're a load of miserable gits.
Why are we compelled to keep envelopes that other people send us but then never reuse them because they are the wrong colour, like Canary yellow.
Why do people use the internet as a personal diary when those same people have never owned or used a real diary?
And if they did, they wouldnt let anyone look in it anyway!
Feel free to add your own that you have come up with or shamelessly stolen.