Most childish poetry thread ever..

[strider]

I kicked my own shin with a pair of socks,
I fought albie,
In a bare knuckle fight at the docks.

He said 'you're fucked, you believe Icke'
I said 'come here, I have a friendly anal spike'

He whimpered towards
and looked at me strange
I could sense in his fear
His y fronts need a change

Bend over albie,
stick your ass in the air,
my friendly spike
will make it all fair..

'Please don't hurt me'
'I'm sorry for what I've said'
'I'm sorry I made up'
'That my Girlfriend was dead'

I step forward
and smell his greasy fists,
he lunges forward,
I grab his wrists.

I see his face
and I'm almost sick.
How can I hit him?
He's a chick with a dick..

[eternal_spirit]

My uncle Billy had a ten feet willy
He showed it to the lady next door
she thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake
And now it's only 4 feet 4 :eek:

[eternal_spirit]

There was a young man from Leeds who swallowed a packet of seeds
in less than an hour his dick was a flower
His bum was a patch of weeds.

[eternal_spirit]

There was a man named Crocket
who had a rocket go off in his pocket
his dick went twang
his balls went bang
and all ended up in his pockets

[celtic isis]

OMG LMAO here! :D

hahahaha there's no end to eternal's talents, haha and strider your poem lol too funny! nice anal spike lol

[celtic isis]

There was a man named Crocket
who had a rocket go off in his pocket
his dick went twang
his balls went bang
and all ended up in his pockets

this is my fav, it's a close one though haha :D

[auron]

Strider, that is gold! :)

There once was an old man from Calcutta
Who was having a wank in the gutter
A woman went by
She got spunk in her eye
And thought it was Ireland's best butter

[auron]

There was an old lady from Wheeling,
Who had a peculiar feeling
She laid on her back
Tickled her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

[auron]

There was a young man from Kildare
Who was fucking a girl on the stair
The banister broke
But he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair

[auron]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

[auron]

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Dozy Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

[auron]

Mary had a little Lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's arse,
and turned it's wool to nylon.

[auron]

There was a young girl from Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny
For half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement to many.

[strider]

:D

They're all filthy, I feel corrupted :rolleyes:

[auron]

:D

They're all filthy, I feel corrupted :rolleyes:
I don't know any clean ones.

[celtic isis]

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Dozy Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

haha we used to say that one as kids :D

a bit of a variation:

Jack and jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water

jill forgot to take the pill
and now they have a daughter :rolleyes:

[celtic isis]

There was a young girl from Kilkenny
Whose usual charge was a penny
For half of that sum
You could roger her bum
A source of amusement to many.


hahahaha! :eek:

[celtic isis]

Strider, that is gold! :)

There once was an old man from Calcutta
Who was having a wank in the gutter
A woman went by
She got spunk in her eye
And thought it was Ireland's best butter

LMAO!!!! i have a new favourite!!!!

[freespark]

There was a man named Crocket
who had a rocket go off in his pocket
his dick went twang
his balls went bang
and all ended up in his pockets

Bwhahahaha Classic..i havent heard that for ages!!! :D:D:D

[freespark]

There was a young man from Kildare
Who was fucking a girl on the stair
The banister broke
But he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in midair

Bwhahahahaha :D:D awesome! :)

[catfood]

Their was a young man called Dave,
Who dug up a prostitute’s grave,
She was mouldy as shit and missing a tit,
But look at the money he saved.
:eek:

[2013]

As I Was Walking Through A Wood.


As I was walking through a wood,
I shit myself. I knew I would.
I cried for help but no help came,
and so I shit myself again.

I shit myself. I knew I would.
It was a fairly scary wood.
The buzzards circled overhead,
And filled my soul (and pants) with dread.

I cried for help but no help came.
I retraced my steps back again.
It wasn't easy turning back,
because my legs were caked with kak.

And so I shit myself again.
A whole day's walking, down the drain.
How could I face my friends in town,
When trousers blue were stained with brown
:D

[2013]

http://www.drinkingsongs.net/html/recitations/short-recitations/toasts/bawdy-toasts/index.htm

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front,
And every time the pedal came up,
It hit her in the ......
Don't be mistaken, don't be misled,
Every time the pedal came up
It hit her in the head.


Times are hard,
And wages are small,
So drink more beer,
And fuck them all.

In day of old, when knights were bold
And paper not invented,
They used tufts of grass to wipe their ass
And were very well contented.


In the days of old when knights were bold
And women weren't particular
They lined them up against the wall
And fucked them perpendicular.


In days of old, when men were bold
And cast-iron trousers wore,
They lived in peace, for then a crease
Would last ten years or more.


In days of old when knights were bold
and condoms weren't invented.
They tied a sock, around their cock
and babies were prevented.


In Days of old when knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
Men dropped their load upon the road
And walked away contented.


In the days of old, when the knights were bold
and the women chased the men
The men like fools got out their tools
and chased them back again.


In days of old when knights were bold,
And cared not for such trifles,
They nailed their balls upon the walls,
and shot at them with rifles.


In days of old when knights were bold
And penicillin wasn't invented,
Venereal drips ran down from their hips
And their toes were all cemented.

[adimon]

Mary had a little lamb
and it was always bunting
she tied it to a lamppost
and kicked it's little ____ in.

-Graham Chapman-

[lilly555]

This is an American one...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt, I could fuck it."

[clipwip]

All very nice! I particularly like Auron's ditties! :D

[celtic isis]

http://www.drinkingsongs.net/html/recitations/short-recitations/toasts/bawdy-toasts/index.htm

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front,
And every time the pedal came up,
It hit her in the ......
Don't be mistaken, don't be misled,
Every time the pedal came up
It hit her in the head.


Times are hard,
And wages are small,
So drink more beer,
And fuck them all.

In day of old, when knights were bold
And paper not invented,
They used tufts of grass to wipe their ass
And were very well contented.


In the days of old when knights were bold
And women weren't particular
They lined them up against the wall
And fucked them perpendicular.


In days of old, when men were bold
And cast-iron trousers wore,
They lived in peace, for then a crease
Would last ten years or more.


In days of old when knights were bold
and condoms weren't invented.
They tied a sock, around their cock
and babies were prevented.


In Days of old when knights were bold
And toilets weren't invented
Men dropped their load upon the road
And walked away contented.


In the days of old, when the knights were bold
and the women chased the men
The men like fools got out their tools
and chased them back again.


In days of old when knights were bold,
And cared not for such trifles,
They nailed their balls upon the walls,
and shot at them with rifles.


In days of old when knights were bold
And penicillin wasn't invented,
Venereal drips ran down from their hips
And their toes were all cemented.

HA HAHAHAHA HA HAHAHAHA :D

[celtic isis]

This is an American one...

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
And he said with a grin,
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt, I could fuck it."

hahahahahahaha! LMAO! :D even better if we could hear it in your accent lilly!

[celtic isis]

Bwhahahaha Classic..i havent heard that for ages!!! :D:D:D

i know lol i couldn't even read it for laughing my oh thinks i'm demented :D

[pedsi]

There was a young girl from Madrid
Who swore she'd never been rid
She met an Italian
With balls like a stallion
Who rode her like Billy the kid!!

[lilly555]

hahahahahahaha! LMAO! :D even better if we could hear it in your accent lilly!

What? I don't have an accent.:confused:

[celtic isis]

There was a young girl from Madrid
Who swore she'd never been rid
She met an Italian
With balls like a stallion
Who rode her like Billy the kid!!

hehehehe :D good one pedsi!

jeez i'm from limerick, the place where these rhymes are bloody named after and i can't remember any lol

[celtic isis]

What? I don't have an accent.:confused:

no i don't mean in a bad way! hehe with your loverly american twang is all i mean:) hehe i'd love to hear you say "nantucket" :D

[pedsi]

Went to a party in the county jail
Ripped my sack on a rusty nail
When I got home..got a shock
Only one ball and half a cock.........Lets rock..........

[lilly555]

no i don't mean in a bad way! hehe with your loverly american twang is all i mean:) hehe i'd love to hear you say "nantucket" :D

hehehe ..here in america we think that everyone else has accents. :p

[celtic isis]

hehehe ..here in america we think that everyone else has accents. :p

hehe :)