Spiritual awakening or suffering depression?

[gullick]

Hi, my thoughts are a bit scrambled so I apologise for any problems with structure etc. but I need some advice.

I'm 18 and have always had an interest in history, politics ever since a young age. Over the past three years I started to wake up to the global conspiracy which is taking place and started to see past the reality imposed on us.

I've awoken spiritually over the past year and consider myself to be quite a spiritual person.

I won't go into much detail about my about my background, but lets just say people have a relatively low opinion on me. Some people think I'm scum, although most people think I'm a stupid wierdo (based on the fact my myspace page is filled with conspiracy documentaries and I have little time for talking about "Fat spliffs" or who got knocked out the other night). This doesn't bother me too much - I don't feel like I belong in these crowds anyway, but its resulting in me only having three real friends left (who are also very open minded people).

Even though i can be open to my mates, i don't feel like seeking advice off them since i don't want to put them in an uncomfortable situation. I also don't want them to think i'm trying to look more caring than them etc. if that makes any sense. And after reading this forum regularly, i've come to love the community and i feel as though i can relate a fair bit to you all.

So anyway, over the past week, I've been crying about things a lot more than usual (which is basically never). Before, I'd be researching information regarding war and could get quite passionate about my beliefs of legitimacy, but death counts etc. were still just a statistic. Now i'll hear about death etc. and tears will run down my face, which was normally uncommon. I automatically put myself in their shoes without even thinking about it, if you get what i mean. For example, I was watching blood diamond last night and i felt like i was dying with the victims. I know this might seem odd, especially since its just a film, but i can't help thinking in detail about the people that are going through this stuff in real life. As I said, i don't see the suffering as a statistic anymore, i feel personally effected by what i hear about - even though i live quite a comfortable life.

Another example, I was listening to 'illegal attacks' by ian brown earlier and i literally burst out! Same when I get to certain points in Tales of the time loop (which I only started reading a few days ago - amazing).

I'm not sure if this is an awakening or if its a meltdown! I'm not the strongest person emotionally, and i've always been sensitive towards the misery of others, but never to the degree that I'm crying my eyes out because of it!

Do you think the red pill may be kicking in a bit too strong? As I said, I'm not especially new to all of this. Has anybody else gone through a stage like this? Did you come out better or worse?

Sorry for the length and rambling, but its worrying me a fair bit that I've burst the dam and will never fill the gap. I'm glad that I'm not looking at the problems of the world like a politician anymore if that makes sense, but i don't want to cry anymore!

All I know is that it doesn't seem to be stopping or slowing down, quite the opposite.

Peace :)

I know how hard it is to live with some of this information at times, when everyone around you thinks you are absolutely losing your mind, and treats you that way, so most people here aren't alone.

This quote hold relevance to me :)

[tinmenace]

Hi Gullick,

I started a similar thread HERE (http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8892).

It's definitely SPIRITUAL AWAKENING. ;)

[phoebe]

Hi gullick :)
I have experienced something very similar.
When you become aware of the spiritual
The world you 'awaken' to can seem like a nightmare
Like hell on earth.
But that is just part of the healing process!
Awakening and meltdown can, imo, be used interchangeably
And the symptoms for spiritual awakening are
Very similar to those of what we call 'schizophrenia'.
But you will settle and find your equilibrium.
What are you doing to access the inner you?
Are you meditating, being creative, doing what you love?
If not these things should help very much
With seeing what you're all about.
If you want to read/listen/watch
I recommend Osho, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts
As big helpers on the spiritual path.

:)

[joss classey]

don't worry

please don't worry at all. what you say is really heart warming and it's ok, it really is.

i never used to cry at all. now i find myself filled with compassion for humanity. a lot more like i'm connected with us all. and even silly films i find myself crying to evil inflicted on innocence.

i honestly don't want to tell you to stop crying but the only thing i can suggest is staying strong. if you don't cry it doesn't mean you don't care. as you well know!

it should stop eventually though. you'll surely run out of tears soon enough!

[edit]

Indical ~ Brom
www.tin.spiritual-nature.com In-di-cal ~ Drom
Dream !! Very nice, indeed!!

[i_am]

I'm not sure if this is an awakening or if its a meltdown! I'm not the strongest person emotionally, and i've always been sensitive towards the misery of others, but never to the degree that I'm crying my eyes out because of it!

Do you think the red pill may be kicking in a bit too strong? As I said, I'm not especially new to all of this. Has anybody else gone through a stage like this? Did you come out better or worse?

Sorry for the length and rambling, but its worrying me a fair bit that I've burst the dam and will never fill the gap. I'm glad that I'm not looking at the problems of the world like a politician anymore if that makes sense, but i don't want to cry anymore!

All I know is that it doesn't seem to be stopping or slowing down, quite the opposite.

Peace :)

For starters, you are very lucky to have three friends. Many people who start on this path, find themselves very much alone, with their only 'friends' being those on the internet.

Secondly, what you are experiencing is very normal.

Have you read the ascension threads? Start here :)

http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3883

You will find that what you are going through is shared or has been experienced by many of us here.

We are all at different stages of evolution and it can be a very lonely path but once you have embarked on it, there is no turning back. You can put it on the backburner when it gets too hard but you can never unlearn any of it.


http://img468.imageshack.us/img468/9614/thhappy3ca4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

[gullick]

Thanks a lot everyone, your words are very comforting.

Tinmenace, I've looked at the thread and it holds an unbelievable amount of relevance to how i've felt for much longer than the past week, apart from the crying that is. Thanks a lot it has really made me see this situation a lot more positvely. The points about about antidepressants are one of the major factors why I don't seek parental guidance lol

Thankyou very much people - its great to see others understanding, which is quite difficult to come by when surrounded by people (and i mean this is the least arrogant way possible) who are seemingly robotic.

Only one of my friends has a true understanding, he lacks in a lot of the facts but his mentality is amazing and hes really understanding. He has basically been my soul mate since nursery! The others are based entirely around facts, which makes for great conversation. One being extremely alternative, the other being extremely mainstream (uni student :P)

This is irrelevant i know but i just want to talk to like minded people and you all seem so perfect - and i'm not saying that to suck up!

Peace :)

[tinmenace]

In-di-cal ~ Drom
Dream !! Very nice, indeed!!

Yes! Innit? ;)

Edit: Thanks for the correction :)

[rossus]

I recommend Osho, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts
As big helpers on the spiritual path.
I don't recommend osho... i've read his stuff.
he talks truth, but he's not so good at explaining.
and sometimes he talks bullshit too.



anyway!

to awaken to the truth of your being:
recognize yourself as unconditional happiness... you don't need belief.

many people say stuff that's not true. believing in something that is not true, is often an obstacle into discovering your true Self.
don't try to understand too much with thoughts, cause all that can be understould with thoughts will not give you happiness.
only love can give you happiness.


there's many different shapes and colors of spirituality.
if a spiritual teacher makes spirituality complicated... as in you have to do a lot of effort to try to find out what they're saying,
it's not a good spiritual teacher. a good spiritual teacher you can feel the words they say is true,
because a good teacher points you to yourself... and there you can feel the truth.

a bad spiritual teacher will make you believe in fairy-tales, or try to make you understand love with thoughts... which is absurt!
love is.

if it's not valuable, dump it.
if one thing i recommend, it's the stuff in my signature.
good luck :)

[thirdwave]

Hi, my thoughts are a bit scrambled so I apologise for any problems with structure etc. but I need some advice.

I'm 18 and have always had an interest in history, politics ever since a young age. Over the past three years I started to wake up to the global conspiracy which is taking place and started to see past the reality imposed on us.

I've awoken spiritually over the past year and consider myself to be quite a spiritual person.

I won't go into much detail about my about my background, but lets just say people have a relatively low opinion on me. Some people think I'm scum, although most people think I'm a stupid wierdo (based on the fact my myspace page is filled with conspiracy documentaries and I have little time for talking about "Fat spliffs" or who got knocked out the other night). This doesn't bother me too much - I don't feel like I belong in these crowds anyway, but its resulting in me only having three real friends left (who are also very open minded people).

Even though i can be open to my mates, i don't feel like seeking advice off them since i don't want to put them in an uncomfortable situation. I also don't want them to think i'm trying to look more caring than them etc. if that makes any sense. And after reading this forum regularly, i've come to love the community and i feel as though i can relate a fair bit to you all.

So anyway, over the past week, I've been crying about things a lot more than usual (which is basically never). Before, I'd be researching information regarding war and could get quite passionate about my beliefs of legitimacy, but death counts etc. were still just a statistic. Now i'll hear about death etc. and tears will run down my face, which was normally uncommon. I automatically put myself in their shoes without even thinking about it, if you get what i mean. For example, I was watching blood diamond last night and i felt like i was dying with the victims. I know this might seem odd, especially since its just a film, but i can't help thinking in detail about the people that are going through this stuff in real life. As I said, i don't see the suffering as a statistic anymore, i feel personally effected by what i hear about - even though i live quite a comfortable life.

Another example, I was listening to 'illegal attacks' by ian brown earlier and i literally burst out! Same when I get to certain points in Tales of the time loop (which I only started reading a few days ago - amazing).

I'm not sure if this is an awakening or if its a meltdown! I'm not the strongest person emotionally, and i've always been sensitive towards the misery of others, but never to the degree that I'm crying my eyes out because of it!

Do you think the red pill may be kicking in a bit too strong? As I said, I'm not especially new to all of this. Has anybody else gone through a stage like this? Did you come out better or worse?

Sorry for the length and rambling, but its worrying me a fair bit that I've burst the dam and will never fill the gap. I'm glad that I'm not looking at the problems of the world like a politician anymore if that makes sense, but i don't want to cry anymore!

All I know is that it doesn't seem to be stopping or slowing down, quite the opposite.

Peace :)



This quote hold relevance to me :)



The thing is... what does Awakening mean? .. it means waking up... so we are going to see lots we did not see before...

this is good, but we have also not seen allot of bad... in people close to us and in our selfs.... so of course there are dark feelings and very frightening feelings we have because we see things that make us feel cold.... but we also see things that make us feel warm so we must keep the balance....

when you latch onto the consciousness that takes care of all of us... at the end of the day its like a good virus that sorts things out and spreads to others.... and if your not feeling it some days, then maybe you ar having a spreading the shit moment so the flowers can grow.

[tinmenace]

I recommend Osho, Adyashanti, Eckhart Tolle and Alan Watts
As big helpers on the spiritual path.

:)


Alan Watts or Alan Watt?

[phoebe]

Alan Watts or Alan Watt?

Oh Alan WATTS all the way
http://www.alanwatts.com/

[1 2 free]

Crying is a way of letting go of emotional baggage (negative energy). Be thankful you can do it. Many people can't (especially males). These are the people who have heart attacks in their forties or go out on a Friday night looking for strangers to beat up. I went through a crying phase and I always felt better after each time I cried. I've let go of a ton of crap I'd been carrying with me. Tears are good. Robot like deadness is bad. All phases pass too. You might think you're crying too much now but you may find you rarely cry at all soon.

Three friends is gold. Some people go through their whole lives never having any real friends. Again you can be thankful you've let go of the fake friends and you know who you're real friends are. You'll make more friends too if you want too. They're out there. Maybe even on this forum. :eek: :D

[mountain]

Hello. I can relate to what you're going through all too well. I am positive that most of here on the forums can. Especially the intense emotional outburst. me personally, I think it is a great thing that you have compassion for people and the events that you are aware that is taking place. So, please do not hold back your tears, let them flow. It is like you are really starting to feel and see with your heart for the first time, and that causes the heart to ache in pain with all the suffering it witnesses. This is a sign that you truly are a spiritual being.

With this knowledge, continue to cleanse the spirit and right the wrongs within yourself. You will overcome your fears and discover a whole new untouchable YOU, that was always there all along!

For me, it was overwhelming, too. Especially when I tried to reach out to loved ones and they shunned and judged me. That can be devastating at first. Now, some of them are seeing on their own, and sadly there are still those that choose to be in denial, and strangely they fade out of your realm, as you become more at peace and connected with yourself.

Take great comfort in realizing that you are not alone, NEVER when you awaken your complete self! Before you know it, people will be magnetized to you because they will long to share with you true wisdom.

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS!

[spiraltrance]

I won't go into much detail about my about my background, but lets just say people have a relatively low opinion on me. Some people think I'm scum, although most people think I'm a stupid wierdo (based on the fact my myspace page is filled with conspiracy documentaries and I have little time for talking about "Fat spliffs" or who got knocked out the other night). This doesn't bother me too much - I don't feel like I belong in these crowds anyway, but its resulting in me only having three real friends left (who are also very open minded people).

For starters, you are very lucky to have three friends. Many people who start on this path, find themselves very much alone, with their only 'friends' being those on the internet.

The reason you'll find yourself with few 'friends' is because most of these so-called friends will inhibit your spiritual progression. Situations will appear in your life that will make you an outcast, people will avoid you and your ego will broken down, often cataclysmicaly. This is because to truly ascend you need to be free from the crowd and all the social trappings they will throw on you. It can seem like a curse but it is in fact a blessing.

And yes, empathy, strong emotions, tears are perfectly normal. It's your awareness expanding and your vibration rising.

[john white]

Oh Alan WATTS all the way
http://www.alanwatts.com/

Wattssie was a lovely: with a way with the ladies!

Now thats what I call enlightened self-interest!

Maximum respect to the guy

[bigus_dickus]

I don't recommend osho... i've read his stuff.
he talks truth, but he's not so good at explaining.
and sometimes he talks bullshit too.

i like Osho. well, the truth cannot be explained, anytime you try to explain "truth", you can only find out that you have failed. i enjoyed his talks, namely "the book of wisdom" vol.1 and vol.2, in which he says that he contradicts himself quite often only to show a point of no point ...sort of. and he actually says that it's all bullshit too :)

[rossus]

i like Osho. well, the truth cannot be explained, anytime you try to explain "truth", you can only find out that you have failed. i enjoyed his talks, namely "the book of wisdom" vol.1 and vol.2, in which he says that he contradicts himself quite often only to show a point of no point ...sort of. and he actually says that it's all bullshit too :)
yes but what i meant is...
a good teacher (to me) is someone who quiets the student's mind and points the student to himself,
so that the student would look within... and discover that he is awareness.

with osho i get the impression he's doing a lot of talking about unimportant details...
that confuse more people than actually help them Self-realize.

i think many people who read loads of Osho, and only Osho, never get to the realization of their true nature...
and if they would have read a more direct teaching (such as the one in my signature) it would have multiplied their chances by tenfold.

[bigus_dickus]

yes but what i meant is...
a good teacher (to me) is someone who quiets the student's mind and points the student to himself,
so that the student would look within... and discover that he is awareness.

i agree.

with osho i get the impression he's doing a lot of talking about unimportant details...
that confuse more people than actually help them self-realize.

yes he does. but he also says that confusion is a good way to start, it makes you question your beliefs. but i guess this happens only to "beginners".. i mean, i wasn't confused at all listening to him. moreover much of these unimportant details, we all run them in our minds every day mostly unconsciously. i found that he was talking the same way about stuff that i was thinking before i picked up any material of this kind. most of the stuff he says, i have been discussing with my friends who were in trouble with their beliefs. so, it depends on one's "stage" perhaps.

i think many people who read loads of Osho, and only Osho, never get to the realization of their true nature...
and if they would have read a more direct teaching (such as the one in my signature) it would have multiplied their chances by tenfold.

of course, no one should read Osho or anything else exclusively. i personally haven't read any of his books, i only heard the talks to his students that i mentioned earlier. these i recommend, about his books i have no idea.

[tron]

Had something similar to this recently;

Was in my flat and due to not having the internet yet, one of my flatmates had a program on called 10Years Younger. Was absolute pish but not the point of the story. When it cut to a scene with plastic surgery I felt like i was actually going to faint in my seat. I've never been squemish but I could actually feel it. weird.

Also, was listening to the last System of Down album and there is a song on it I think actually sounds like war. Would be the perfect song to play of a montage of the horrible destruction caused by man. Anyway, found myself in tears just by picturing the horrible scenes in my head. Again, never felt that way before.

Love,
Cxx

[gullick]

Thanks for all of your helpful comments my friends, its truly appreciated :)

I'm starting to see this as a good thing now, I kinda felt it was good at first that I was expressing my compassionate side but it was quite worrying that I might get heartbroken about something happening the other side of the world :p

Love you all!!!

Edit: Got to say thanks again, you really couldn't understand the help you've all given me :)

Peace

[soglad]

Edit: Got to say thanks again, you really couldn't understand the help you've all given me :)

Peace

I understand, people on this forums helped me through a lot, I love them so much it's hard to say!

:D