willnotbesilenced
22-02-2010, 11:04 PM
note to moderators : Please would you kindly DELETE my post from
this thread : http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1058662020#post1058662020
I meant to start a NEW thread, but posted on the above one in error
(silly me - I`m new & still getting used to this forum) THANKS.
Meantime :
Some humour at the end of the day for everyone....
Humour – financial
Two bankers meet for lunch.
One asks his colleague:'You know, I'm losing a lot of sleep over this crisis. How about you? Did you sleep last night?''
Like a baby!''?!!!''
Cried all night and soiled myself twice.
'The U.S. healthcare system failed to overcome obesity. Now the U.S. economy is taking over the task.
A client, addressing an investment consultant:' I want to start a small business. What shall I do?''
Buy a big business and wait.'
"What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's!!!"
deep trouble...
We are in DEEP trouble...
The population of this country is approximately 60 million.
32 million are retired.
That leaves 28 million to do the work.
There are 17 million in school or at Universities.
Which leaves 11 million to do the work.
Of this there are 8 million employed by the UK government.
Leaving 3 million to do the work.
1.2 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing
Osama Bin-Laden, and fighting in Afghanistan, etc .
Which leaves 1.8 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 0.8 million people who work for Local County Councils.
And that leaves 1 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 488,000 people in hospitals or claiming
Invalidity Benefit.
Leaving 512,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 511,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, Sitting on your a***,
At your computer, reading jokes.
Is it any wonder that we are in such a mess and that I am stressed outthrough trying to cope on my own?
and last one......
A teenage boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired ofhis father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut.'The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair,John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.
'To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?
this thread : http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1058662020#post1058662020
I meant to start a NEW thread, but posted on the above one in error
(silly me - I`m new & still getting used to this forum) THANKS.
Meantime :
Some humour at the end of the day for everyone....
Humour – financial
Two bankers meet for lunch.
One asks his colleague:'You know, I'm losing a lot of sleep over this crisis. How about you? Did you sleep last night?''
Like a baby!''?!!!''
Cried all night and soiled myself twice.
'The U.S. healthcare system failed to overcome obesity. Now the U.S. economy is taking over the task.
A client, addressing an investment consultant:' I want to start a small business. What shall I do?''
Buy a big business and wait.'
"What worries me most about the credit crunch is that if one of my cheques is returned stamped 'insufficient funds', I won't know whether that refers to mine or the bank's!!!"
deep trouble...
We are in DEEP trouble...
The population of this country is approximately 60 million.
32 million are retired.
That leaves 28 million to do the work.
There are 17 million in school or at Universities.
Which leaves 11 million to do the work.
Of this there are 8 million employed by the UK government.
Leaving 3 million to do the work.
1.2 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing
Osama Bin-Laden, and fighting in Afghanistan, etc .
Which leaves 1.8 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 0.8 million people who work for Local County Councils.
And that leaves 1 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 488,000 people in hospitals or claiming
Invalidity Benefit.
Leaving 512,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 511,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are, Sitting on your a***,
At your computer, reading jokes.
Is it any wonder that we are in such a mess and that I am stressed outthrough trying to cope on my own?
and last one......
A teenage boy had just gotten his driver's license and inquired ofhis father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut.'The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair,John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.
'To this his father replied, 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?