Returning Soldiers To Get A Free Turnip

[bicycle]

BRITISH troops returning from combat in Iraq and Afghanistan are to receive a free turnip, the government has announced.




The move comes after mounting pressure from servicemen and their families, determined to receive some kind of large vegetable in recognition of their sacrifice.

Des Browne, the defence secretary, said: "As a society we do tend to go on and on and on about how brave our troops are, especially in comparison to the French.

"So I am delighted to announce that the next time I meet soldiers getting off the plane from Kabul, I will be able to hold out my hand and say,'well done, here's a turnip'."

Mr Browne said the large root vegetable was both a tangible recognition of their bravery and could make an interesting soup which would feed a family of Geordies or Scots for up to a day.

He stressed that offering an exemption from council tax or a large cash bonus would send out the 'wrong message'.

Mr Browne added: "When you've spent six months desperately trying to avoid being killed in a war that has lost all meaning, £140 off your council tax could be seen as an insult.

"A turnip, on the other hand, is an enduring symbol of a nation's gratitude. You could keep it in a box and show it to your grandchildren.

"And who knows, perhaps that turnip will inspire a new generation of heroes."

[horus21]

]what a mentally sick government you have

[soglad]

BRITISH troops returning from combat in Iraq and Afghanistan are to receive a free turnip, the government has announced.




The move comes after mounting pressure from servicemen and their families, determined to receive some kind of large vegetable in recognition of their sacrifice.

Des Browne, the defence secretary, said: "As a society we do tend to go on and on and on about how brave our troops are, especially in comparison to the French.

"So I am delighted to announce that the next time I meet soldiers getting off the plane from Kabul, I will be able to hold out my hand and say,'well done, here's a turnip'."

Mr Browne said the large root vegetable was both a tangible recognition of their bravery and could make an interesting soup which would feed a family of Geordies or Scots for up to a day.

He stressed that offering an exemption from council tax or a large cash bonus would send out the 'wrong message'.

Mr Browne added: "When you've spent six months desperately trying to avoid being killed in a war that has lost all meaning, £140 off your council tax could be seen as an insult.

"A turnip, on the other hand, is an enduring symbol of a nation's gratitude. You could keep it in a box and show it to your grandchildren.

"And who knows, perhaps that turnip will inspire a new generation of heroes."

A joke, right? :confused:

[spacegurl]

Where is the source for that?

[eternal_spirit]

This reads like something out of a joke book. Is this real?
I cannot believe what I've just read.

A reduction on Council tax would be everyones choice over a turnip. he can't be serious saying he's going to hand out turnips.

[peachped]

It's absolutely true. I have a mate in the Yorkshire Regiment and they are hopping mad about this, they are trying to squeeze an extra couple of parsnips and a suede out of the tight ba*tards.

Disgraceful. :mad:

[horus21]

If its true, there should be no suprise.
Its clearly evident that governments only pretend to care about us when they wish to gather support and when they raise our taxes.
This can not go on forever.
If it gets any worse, there will be global revolt and these cockroaches will lose the blessing of rule once and forever more.

Disgusting governments... treat us as fools our whole lives, and make us thank them for it... i dont know about you dear reader, but MY LIFE is worth more than they acknowledge and I wish I could push all of the container loads of blood turnips they probabley stole from china up into all of their asses

[shodan]

It's a joke man, Bicycle is really Chris Morris :D

[siliconpsychosis]

Great post bicycle. For those not entirely sure about this post, Bicycle is responding to the Governments announcement that soldiers returning from warzones will get 140 pound reduction in their council tax. Average council tax is around 1000 pound per year so Gordon Brown is giving the soldiers an approximate 15 percent discount.

I was shocked when I read this, since it is a blatantly pathetic offer from the Government. In actual fact I am delighted with this proposal, since it shows to the public how little the Government truly cares about soldiers, and people in general. A few more lame proposals like this and there may not be anyone left, willing to fight their pointless wars.

No soldiers means no wars. (More likely it simply means conscription).

So if anyone in the Government is reading this thread, heres another lame offer they could propose to the soldiers >

Free black and white TV licence to soldiers. (Thus, when they return from war and become jobless and forgotten, they can watch shit Tv all day at no cost, unless they wish to watch in colour.)

[spacegurl]

It comes from the Daily Mash

"The Daily Mash – its news to us. Satire, news, funny stories, spoof sport, political parody and lots of humour."

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/war/returning-soldiers-to-get-a-free-turnip-20070925425/

[whitelightrabbit]

Great post bicycle. For those not entirely sure about this post, Bicycle is responding to the Governments announcement that soldiers returning from warzones will get 140 pound reduction in their council tax. Average council tax is around 1000 pound per year so Gordon Brown is giving the soldiers an approximate 15 percent discount.

I was shocked when I read this, since it is a blatantly pathetic offer from the Government. In actual fact I am delighted with this proposal, since it shows to the public how little the Government truly cares about soldiers, and people in general. A few more lame proposals like this and there may not be anyone left, willing to fight their pointless wars.

No soldiers means no wars. (More likely it simply means conscription).

So if anyone in the Government is reading this thread, heres another lame offer they could propose to the soldiers >

Free black and white TV licence to soldiers. (Thus, when they return from war and become jobless and forgotten, they can watch shit Tv all day at no cost, unless they wish to watch in colour.)

thanks for the clarification...

In actual fact I am delighted with this proposal, since it shows to the public how little the Government truly cares about soldiers, and people in general. A few more lame proposals like this and there may not be anyone left, willing to fight their pointless wars

i agree with that! although if they're still getting soldiers now, there's not much hope of people clueing in.

[freedomnonfighter]

Lol... more comedy gold. This world is hilariously crazy.

[soglad]

C'mon guys........it MUST be a joke, right?

[siliconpsychosis]

I think its a wonderful, considerate and heartwarming gesture. Lets hope the Government get it right by providing them with locally produced, organic turnips.

[xdnax]

pure dissinfo....its half a carrot. damn government making themselves out to look better than they are again :(