View Full Version : I finally took a step
h1s_l0rdsh1p
22-09-2007, 06:45 PM
Lately, I've had my emotional/mental break downs, and I've brought them onto the forums here. I'm very sorry to all of you for having to witness this.
But after speaking with many people about this. I finally took a first step.
Just about 40 minutes ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. When she said she wanted to break up because "my mother's a racist(NOT TRUE)"I got pissed, told her to shut her mouth because she doesn't know what she's talking about. Left for awhile and came back. I sat down, and apologized to her about that.
But we spoke, and I told her Ï'm sorry, but I feel we both need to be not just finacially secure, but mentally and emotionally secure before we can be in a relationship not just with each other. But with anybody. And I'm sorry, but I feel we just need to go our own ways for now."
Then we both agreed.
But I asked for a hug, and when she hugged me, I broke out in tears telling her that I'm sorry I failed her. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for the both of us.
So yeah...
It hurts like a mother fucker. And I know she's aching inside aswell.
eternal_spirit
22-09-2007, 06:52 PM
It's okay you're not the only one to air you're dirty linen in public on here.
Time will tell if you're right for one another. Just be aware of the possibilities and consider why you broke up.... I'm no good at giving advice. I've fucked up so many times myself.
If you do finish for good, try not blame yourself, she may have other reasons for wanting out.
lilly555
22-09-2007, 06:53 PM
Hmm, that's deep. Probably for the best as it seems that maybe you would benefit by concentrating on yourself and letting out your um, inner anger once and for all. Might take some time. I have an angry darkness in me too. Sometimes it warps my view on things and I give into it. It feels like a leech on my soul or something. One form of giving in that I try to limit is blaming myself and emotionally beating myself up in my thoughts. Hope this gives some perspective.
eternal_spirit
22-09-2007, 07:03 PM
Hmm, that's deep. Probably for the best as it seems that maybe you would benefit by concentrating on yourself and letting out your um, inner anger once and for all. Might take some time. I have an angry darkness in me too. Sometimes it warps my view on things and I give into it. It feels like a leech on my soul or something. One form of giving in that I try to limit is blaming myself and emotionally beating myself up in my thoughts. Hope this gives some perspective.
...............
You're signature sure you didn't miss type? and should read Infinately High. :D
lifeofbrian
22-09-2007, 09:09 PM
Lately, I've had my emotional/mental break downs, and I've brought them onto the forums here. I'm very sorry to all of you for having to witness this.
Don't apologise for being human.
But after speaking with many people about this. I finally took a first step.
Just about 40 minutes ago, my girlfriend and I broke up. When she said she wanted to break up because "my mother's a racist(NOT TRUE)"I got pissed, told her to shut her mouth because she doesn't know what she's talking about. Left for awhile and came back. I sat down, and apologized to her about that.
Not your fault if she is intolerant. It's normal to defend your family if someone attacks it.
But we spoke, and I told her Ï'm sorry, but I feel we both need to be not just finacially secure, but mentally and emotionally secure before we can be in a relationship not just with each other. But with anybody. And I'm sorry, but I feel we just need to go our own ways for now.
Having read some of your posts, it seems as if your 'job' was to fix her problems. Make her life comfortable. What did she do for you? Did she ever adapt to you?
Then we both agreed.
But I asked for a hug, and when she hugged me, I broke out in tears telling her that I'm sorry I failed her. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough for the both of us.
I bet you cried for yourself just as much as for her. At times, we set up impossible standards for ourselves, just to avoid becoming like the people we think we 'hate'. People who betray, let us down, never fight back, people who never let us feel we're worth fighting for. People we thus see as not loving us.
At times we can mourn letting our selves down, and having been let down.
So yeah...
It hurts like a mother fucker. And I know she's aching inside aswell.
Everybody hurts. Hello, welcome, join the party:
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
Thank you for being so open towards all of us here mate.
No price tag on something like that.
You've given much more than you've received.
Stay in touch.
h1s_l0rdsh1p
22-09-2007, 09:58 PM
Thank you guys...
Everyone.
And to tell you, the song "Redefine" by Incubus has been helping allot at this moment. Not sure why. :)
lifeofbrian
22-09-2007, 10:14 PM
Thank you guys...
Everyone.
And to tell you, the song "Redefine" by Incubus has been helping allot at this moment. Not sure why. :)
Incubus - Redefine (Acoustic) (NL) - YouTube
Imagine your brain as a
canister filled with ink
yeah, now think of your body
as the pen where the ink resides
Fuse the two; KAPOW!
What are you now?
You're the human magic marker, won't you
please surprise my eyes?
It's in your nature,
you can paint whatever picture
you like no matter what
Ted Koppel says on channel 4 tonight
So modify this third rock from the sun
by painting myriads of pictures
with the colors of one
I'm sick of painting in black and white
my pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself
to fit your definition
Picture the scene, where whatever you thought,
would, in the blink of an eye,
manifest and become illustrated
You'd be sure man that every
line drawn reflected a life that you loved
not an existence that you hated
So, must we demonstrate that
we can't get it straight?
We've painted a picture,
now we're drowning in paint
Lets figure out what the fuck it's about
before the picture we painted
chews us up and spits us out
I'm sick of painting in black and white
my pen is dry, now I'm uptight
So sick of limiting myself
to fit your definition
Redefine
---
Brilliant :)
eternal_spirit
23-09-2007, 12:50 AM
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=5648893791569375518&q=Fairport+Convention+dirty+linen&total=2&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0
soglad
23-09-2007, 12:52 AM
If this doesn't cheer you up...........
http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=KW8RgmEJs-8
:D:D:D
freedomnonfighter
23-09-2007, 01:01 AM
Change is good. Just think of all the possibilities and new opportunities that have arisen out of this courageous step :) For both of you :)
http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7131/e4vb1.gif
freedomnonfighter
23-09-2007, 01:03 AM
If this doesn't cheer you up...........
http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=KW8RgmEJs-8
:D:D:D
OMG that is one of the funniest things I've ever seen, I can't stop laughing!!
soglad
23-09-2007, 01:05 AM
Yes I know! It's a one-stop-shop for anyone who needs to be cheered up!! :D:D
they are called lessons because we need to learn them .The hardest part is doing the things we know we need to , the things we avoid the most .Think of the things that have hurt in your past hopefully they dont anymore so given time it does get easier .We have had massive solar wind buffeting the planet these past 2 days so it was bound to be an intense ride , personally .Reaching out like this may help you to reach an understanding .
wishing you peace of mind at this time .